How’s that for compromise?

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November 29th, 2011 · 32 comments

Bernie in Sydney recently discovered this hidden behind a painting in his parents’ house — “the passive-aggressive conclusion to a long-running argument about demolishing the kitchen wall.”

Explains Bernie: “Mum wants the wall demolished to make the kitchen nicer; Dad insists it’s impossible and unnecessary. I honestly don’t know how my parents have managed to last 25 years together.”

related: Give the gift of honesty

FILED UNDER: danger · love & marriage · Moms & Dads · Sydney

32 responses so far ↓

#1 Huh?

I don’t get it.

Nov 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm rating: 16

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- #1.1 GTrain
  
  me neither!
  
  Nov 29, 2011 at 11:29 pm rating: 1
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#2 Quite Contrary

My brother refuses to replace a black toilet in the guest bathroom that his wife hates. In retaliation, she painted the front door multiple bright colors right after they finished remodeling the house (in neutral tones of course). He loves the painted door, so the black toilet stays and my sister in law continues to stew. They’ve been happily married for 24 years.

Nov 29, 2011 at 7:53 pm rating: 37

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- #2.1 FeRD
  
  Now, everyone knows there’s just one way to do away with an unwanted/unsightly toilet: Your sister needs to “accidentally” break it!
  
  And by “break“, I mean “physically destroy“. Not “disable“, or “damage the workings of“. The determined DIYer can repair a lot of bathroom plumbing failures (poorly), but there’s really no repairing a quarter-sized hole smashed thru the bowl, when a carelessly-handled hammer falls from its precarious spot high above the offending porcelain.
  
  Nov 29, 2011 at 11:33 pm rating: 28
- #2.2 Grant
  
  Segregated bathroom facilities are just so 1950s.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 4:05 am rating: 41
- #2.3 Quite Contrary
  
  I hate the toilet also, but now that I know why he likes it, I vote for keeping it. (Our late grandmother loved the fact that the toilet was black.) Even if I was a good sister and demolished it, my brother would find a way to keep it.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 11:29 am rating: 5
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#3 Nic

Looks to me like one of the parents (possibly Mom) got frustrated and smashed a hole in the drywall as a non-subtle ploy to get “demolition” started, and the other parent (possibly Dad) posted the note as passive-aggressive congratulations to the hole-puncher on their maturity….?

Nov 29, 2011 at 8:11 pm rating: 18

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#4 Ace of Space

My husband decided to have a patio built using the money I had set aside to take a trip for our 15th wedding anniversary. I was quite upset.

He decided to forever memorialize our anniversary by having a huge “15″ bricked into the patio. Yes, it is quite the conversation starter whenever we have a summer party, but I still hate it.

Nov 29, 2011 at 8:48 pm rating: 37

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- #4.1 Canthz_B
  
  I’ll keep that in mind…also, I’ll make sure whatever number I use isn’t that of my favorite athlete at the time!
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 1:00 am rating: 3
- #4.2 kermit
  
  A patio? That’s genius. I mean if you eventually sell the house I’m sure you can take the patio apart and set it up again. Ooof
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 1:39 am rating: 7
- #4.3 Yolanda
  
  You mean he used it to build equity instead of taking it to the bar or the betting window? The HORROR! I mean, I know you wanted that trip, but give your head a shake and love that man for not being a wastrel. He’s more rare than you clearly realize.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 10:03 am rating: 2
- #4.4 The Elf
  
  Yeah, it’s better than him going to booze it up with his bros. Still, Ace of Spades set this money aside, so Ace of Spades should have had at least some input into how it was spent.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 10:15 am rating: 20
- #4.5 Nunavut Guy
  
  Not in my house she wouldn’t.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 12:50 pm rating: 0
- #4.6 kermit
  
  Yolanda – If you seriously think that the addition of a patio adds more to the sale price of a house – especially in this housing market – than the cost incurred to build the patio, you’ve been watching waaay to many home improvement shows.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm rating: 22
- #4.7 Ace of Space
  
  We had planned that trip for a year, and one day I come home from work and this crew already had the yard dug up. “Think of the equity!”, he said.
  
  Sigh.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 7:29 pm rating: 11
- #4.8 Melissa
  
  Thank you for the reminder to neeeeeeever get married.
  
  Dec 1, 2011 at 8:36 pm rating: 6
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#5 Grant

Oh, that’s beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye.

Nov 30, 2011 at 4:04 am rating: 1

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#6 NutellaIshMehName

I love the fact that they ‘can’t decide’ yet the wall already has started to be demolished.

Nov 30, 2011 at 6:36 am rating: 10

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#7 Nunavut Guy

Like the” Peoples’ commercial says……..”patios are forever”.

Nov 30, 2011 at 7:57 am rating: 1

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- #7.1 Nunavut Guy
  
  Say it with a patio.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 7:58 am rating: 10
- #7.2 infant tyrone
  
  Hallmark is strategic partnering with Home Depot ?
  Reckon the economy has hit one of its all time ————-.
  http://bit.ly/vJSeW3
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 2:05 pm rating: 3
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#8 Yolanda

If that’s a hole in the wall punched by an enraged man yet again, this at least he deserves. After 25 years married he’s at least in his 40s and should know better than to be getting angry enough to need to punch something!

Nov 30, 2011 at 10:04 am rating: 0

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- #8.1 Greys
  
  The woman was the one who wanted the wall demolished, so it’s much more likely she created the hole.
  
  Dec 2, 2011 at 1:50 pm rating: 1
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#9 The Elf

I think the best part of this story is “Bernie in Sydney recently discovered this hidden behind a painting in his parents’ house….”

They never resolved it. The hole remained, the wall remained, and husband (I assume) covered it up with a painting!

That’s how you build a strong 25 year relationship – with passive aggressive one-up-man-ship.

Nov 30, 2011 at 10:11 am rating: 29

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- #9.1 lonestarslp
  
  As someone who has lived with a passive aggressive man for 27 years, I am impressed that least she had written evidence. Most of them like to play head games and deny they ever said what they did say. I keep telling myself I will get a tape recorder. Of course, he has many excellent qualities, so keeping a sense of humor about the PA stuff helps.
  
  Nov 30, 2011 at 11:07 am rating: 8
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#10 aaa

I’m just wondering why Bernie was looking behind the painting in the first place. Did he expect to find some cash behind there? Particularly incriminating documents? A portal to Candy Land?

Nov 30, 2011 at 6:10 pm rating: 4

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#11 juju_skittles

I love that they have left this there! A shrine to their passive-aggressive behaviour. Marvellous! I am curious to know whether or not it is a load bearing wall though…

Nov 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm rating: 3

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#12 Aaron

I think that most have it backwards…
MOM wants the wall gone, thereby SHE would have made the hole in the wall.
DAD says it can’t be done, thereby the “impossible hole in wall” mentioned in the note.

My ex had a similar strategy, start a project in the hopes that I’d get so frustrated with her doing it wrong that I’d take over…

It usually worked…

Nov 30, 2011 at 10:16 pm rating: 7

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#13 Melissa

My mom instigated at lease four different wall cut-outs, demolitions and putting walls up where there were none in our Dad-designed house – and it was much improved.

Dec 1, 2011 at 8:41 pm rating: 2

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