Eat it; love it. Got it?

December 6th, 2011 · 45 comments

According to our submitter, Jason and his cake-baking wife are newlyweds. So…I guess the honeymoon’s over?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON. Even if you did nothing for mine, I still do love you.

related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

extra credit: Bruce Bogtrotter’s chocolate cake

FILED UNDER: birthday · cake · guilt trip · love & marriage


45 responses so far ↓

  • #1   S.A.

    Newlyweds and already not doing crapola for her birthday?? He’d be wearing that cake for a hat.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 86  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   zenvelo

      Watch it Jason, the only reason she didn’t throw your ass out the door is that this soon she’d have to return the wedding presents.

      You will never live this down. 35 years from now she’ll tell you, “like you remembered my birthday when we were newlyweds???”

      Dec 7, 2011 at 12:01 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Jimmy James

      Maybe they got married right before her birthday, so when it came around, he thought, “Well, she just had a giant party for the wedding, do we really need more cake and presents and such again so soon?” Like those kids with December birthdays who get the short end of the stick every Christmas.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 8:39 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Nunavut Guy

      Run Jason ,you poor bastard run!She will hold this over your head for the rest of your miserable long suffering life.

      End it now.The bitch has ammunition for life.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 6:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mrs.Beasley bang

    Looks like Mrs. Jason’s expectations have been formulated upon way too many movies on The Lifetime Channel.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 10:03 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jess

      Why do you feel her expectations are unrealistic? Per her cake, she just wanted *something.*

      Dec 6, 2011 at 10:46 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mrs.Beasley bang

      My comment references the melodrama of the cake note.

      If Jason wished his wife a Happy Birthday on her day, doesn’t that qualify as *something*? So if he did, she must have wanted more than just *something*.

      On the other hand, if he did not wish her a Happy Birthday on her day, he’s not worth baking a cake for on his own.

      Dec 6, 2011 at 11:23 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Dr_Know

      I don’t think just wishing your SO a happy birthday is something. It’s not exactly lifetime channel level of melodrama to expect a present, cake or dinner for your birthday.

      If he was just a friend or acquaintance he could get away with just saying happy birthday.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 2:42 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Mrs.Beasley bang

      Dr_Know, I don’t think just wishing your wife a Happy Birthday is much, but it is *something,* which Jess ^ said is all she wanted.

      The melodramatic part is her expressing her not-so-veiled disappointment by writing it in icing on hubby’s cake.

      When I referenced her “expectations” I’m referring to her expectations in how real life relationships work, not her expectations for birthday presents.

      “I still love you even though” iced cake = Pure Lifetime.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 3:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Partygoer #7

      Soooo…. Mrs. Jason was actually expecting him to attempt to kill her so he could collect life insurance?

      Dec 7, 2011 at 3:25 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Lil'

      Oh please. It’s reasonable to expect your spouse to acknowlege your birthday with at least a token of love. Saying happy birthday (and we don’t even know if he did that) is less than the bare minimum when it comes to your spouse.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 11:01 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   jdaniel

      Seems she wanted her cake, and to eat it too

      Dec 9, 2011 at 8:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Quite Contrary

    Writing that even and legible underneath all that seething anger scares me.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 10:05 pm   rating: 107  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   ClearlyDemented

      For realz, yo. Pretty sure this is a Snapped story in the making.

      Dec 6, 2011 at 10:15 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   The Elf

      Seriously. Jason – don’t eat the cake!

      Dec 7, 2011 at 8:33 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   sadi

      I was thinking a future Snapped story as well. Run, Jason, run!

      Dec 8, 2011 at 8:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   wonderman

    That cake was fucking delicious! I win comment of the century!

    Dec 6, 2011 at 10:07 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      No.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 12:29 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      Depends upon which century.

      Dec 7, 2011 at 12:46 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Emma

    Mmm, Emotional Blackmail Cake.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 10:19 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   aliceblue

      Nothing like chocolate cake with guilt flavored frosting.

      Dec 6, 2011 at 11:20 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   nami

    Of course, love conquers all… even on birthday cakes.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 10:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   MT

    Nothing? Seriously? A card and flowers and a promise of dinner later isn’t that unrealistic an expectation.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      As much as I dislike this PAN cakes, Jason? Seriously? You really forgot her birthday? Ouch!

      Or, was it that you remembered her birthday, took her out to dinner, and that just wasn’t enough?

      Dec 7, 2011 at 8:37 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   aliceblue

    The cake is a lie.
    Right now she’s hating your guts Jason.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 11:21 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mrs.Beasley bang

      Yes, alice, she is.

      Dec 6, 2011 at 11:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   lonestarslp

    Jason,

    I’d let the dog have the first bite of that cake, dude.

    Dec 6, 2011 at 11:53 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   mommy*teacher*nerd*fantastic

    lmao @ the cake is a lie. Might she be better off with a Companion Cube?

    Dec 7, 2011 at 12:27 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   CaptainC

      “Didn’t get me a cake on my birthday? Here’s a gift for you… deadly neurotoxin.”

      Dec 7, 2011 at 8:18 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Oh please! As if this is the first time she’s given Jason a treat after he’s really done nothing to satisfy her needs that she’s smiled and said “I love you” anyway.

    Dec 7, 2011 at 12:50 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    This really is passive-aggressive.

    Cake, but no ice cream?
    Worst of all, no fruit?

    Dec 7, 2011 at 1:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Dee

      I think fruit would have made it more passive-aggressive. You only really hate someone if you put fruit on their birthday cake. Unless it’s strawberries. Strawberries on cake lead to good things.

      Dec 8, 2011 at 2:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   CaptainC

    That is some very nice handwriting. I’m impressed.

    Dec 7, 2011 at 8:19 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Jimmy James

    I like to bake, so the “chocolate apology cake” was a regular way to smooth over flatmate arguments in college. I’m willing to teach you, Jason, though decorating it like this is a little beyond my abilities:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9125508@N07/2860176943/

    Dec 7, 2011 at 8:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Nahhh bang

    The text icing looks suspiciously like Head & Shoulders shampoo.

    Dec 7, 2011 at 9:14 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Captain Hampton

    Nothing? How dare you, Jason’s wife. He must have racked up at least sixty kills on XBL.

    Dec 7, 2011 at 12:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Lil'

    She’s sweet and PA about it now, but 10 years from now she’s going to be boiling rabbits. “I will NOT be ignored, Michael – I mean Jason!”

    Dec 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Mel K

    Do we know if Jason’s wife could make one for my husband?

    As many a supermarket cake display will show, it is hard to write legibly, space the letters and spell correctly with cake icing.

    I would also like to compliment the photographer as the photo is in focus and a close up of the text. perfect for sharing on Facebook as a warning to all other spouses to lift their game.

    Dec 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Zorin

    Why is it always women that make a big deal out of this stuff? Guys (at least most guys I know) don’t really care. I mean, we might be slightly annoyed when someone forgets our birthday, but it’s such a minor thing that it’s forgotten within an hour.

    Dec 8, 2011 at 10:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   meh

    She was going to make him eat humble pie…but resentful layer cake was more effective.

    Dec 9, 2011 at 1:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Sarahj

    Team no one – Jason sounds thoughtless and his wife is PA. But I thank them both for my lunchtime entertainment!

    Dec 9, 2011 at 6:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Anne-Marie

    Yeah, well… too bad she’s seething, but lucky Jason gets a cake!! I’d say what I want rather than bake an anger cake! And now that I am older than 11, my birthday is just another day in other people’s lives. If I want a fuss, I make it a good one, my way… I wouldn’t go all PA on a delicious cake!

    Dec 12, 2011 at 5:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Awesome

    FAKE!!!!!!!!

    Dec 14, 2011 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Pat

    My best friend once threw herself a second birthday party on my birthday, because the one we threw her wasn’t good enough and “Friends should always make a big deal out of your birthday,” in her opinion.
    I assumed this was a rather transparent invitation to a surprise party for me; I was disappointed.

    Dec 20, 2011 at 8:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     

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