Public Displays of Long-Distance Affection

December 18th, 2011 · 46 comments

Ryan came home from work tonight and found this taped to the front door of his Chicago apartment building.

It could be worse, of course. Adds Ryan, “At least she plays nice guitar.”

To the guy who lives at the south end of the building and skypes his girlfriend every night at 3am: Hey man, I know you and your girlfriend are in different time zones, and I understand you have to talk to her EVERY NIGHT AT 2-4 AM, but could you please keep your voice down, and maybe use a headphone instead of the speaker? It's nice that your girlfriend has a beautiful singing voice and plays nice guitar, but I really can't appreciate her performance at this ungodly hour. I've been waken [sic] up three nights in a row by you guys and I sincerely hope it won't turn into a full season of your personal American idol show. PLEASE USE A HEADPHONE! Thank you. Someone who only gets 4 hours of sleep these days.

related: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

FILED UNDER: Chicago · neighbors · noise · sleeping

46 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mrs.Beasley bang

    Ain’t love grand.

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      It is, especially super-romantic late night skype love. Playing guitar! How romatic!

      It’s probably less grand to people not in love but who still have to hear the caterwauling when they’re just trying to get some damn sleep already. Team note-writer, but wishes note-writer had made effort to track down the offender and ask them politely first.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 11:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Mishee™ bang

    Skype… so that’s what they are calling it these days, huh?

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   katie_2256

    Team note writer on this one. Reasonably written note with just the right blend of passive-aggressiveness :D

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   scott hall

    Yeah makes sense.

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Quite Contrary

    Totally team note writer on this one. I walked into my nephew’s room while he was on Skype with his girlfriend and am still using bleach to clear my eyes and flush my ears.

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Rhamza

    She just has to sing that new beiber song she learned an hour ago…

    I understand why the note author is pissed…no amount of good vocals will make his music good…I mean it woke note author up out of a dead sleep… … … team note writer…

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Bethany

    LOL. Literally. That is genius.

    Dec 18, 2011 at 7:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Moo Cow


    I have a flat mate that has creepy skype sex (complete with vibrator!) At 3am sometimes…

    Dec 18, 2011 at 8:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Pit Pat

    Where do you get one headphone?

    Dec 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   FeRD bang

      Stanton’s single-cup models are probably the ones you’ll most commonly encounter, since they’re one of the only mainstream manufacturers that bother. (Most companies — and most DJs — know that there’s not really much reason you’d specifically want not to have stereo headphones, for when you actually want to use them as such. So they focus on designing features that make their stereo headphones conducive to single- or dual-ear use. Like the swivel earcups on almost all Sony and Akai pro ‘phones, or the shoulder-rest feature on this Pioneer model.)

      But even Stanton’s models are pretty traditional, as such things go, and barely scratch the surface. There’s actually an incredible variety of unusual special-purpose designs targeted pretty much exclusively towards “pro” users. There’s this great photo, unfortunately I can’t remember specifics enough that I’d be able to track it down — possibly it was Michael Fierman, or one of the other resident Saint DJs — showing whoever-it-was at work in the DJ booth, cueing a mix, and he’s holding this handheld plastic device up to his ear that looks something like half a telephone receiver! Definitely the oddest headphone I’ve ever seen.

      Buuuut, really the notewriter probably didnt mean any of that, and is just clueless.

      Dec 18, 2011 at 9:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Pit Pat

      or maybe the notewriter is a DJ, or he works for Stanton and is trying to drum up customers, or…

      Dec 18, 2011 at 9:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   Spooky

      I can’t believe I read that.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 2:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   soothsayer

      that’s got to be the most long-winded answer to what was most likely a rhetorical snarky question to begin with.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 4:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.5   FeRD bang

      I’m tempted to be a total ass and post an even-longer-winded rebuttal to #9.4. But alas, I have other commitments this evening and can’t take the time to research it properly. ;-)

      Dec 19, 2011 at 7:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.6   t-rex

      They sell headphones as a wired pair. Just cut one of them off.

      FeRD, take the simplest answer and run with that. Sarcasm does not require research.


      Dec 20, 2011 at 10:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.7   Pit Pat

      FeRD, idk if you’re still reading this, but I was amused. And I don’t amuse easily.

      Dec 21, 2011 at 5:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.8   FeRD bang

      (I shouldn’t admit to occasionally checking back on these, should I? Oh well…) ;-)

      I intend only my own amusement, with most of my posts, PP. — But if someone else is able to share in that amusement, even better! So, I’m glad my ramblings struck a chord with you.

      I certainly don’t know where t-rex is coming from! :? IMHO it’s a characteristic of all worthwhile humor, that it… maybe not necessarily that it “requires research”, but that it at least is the “product of study”. What one knows best, one can then skewer most effectively!

      Dec 30, 2011 at 1:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   emmanana

    Definitely team note writer on this one. In college, my boyfriend’s roommate used to Skype with his girlfriend late into the night, and it generally involved him playing guitar and singing to each other. Sometimes they would even cook the same food and eat it together via webcam. Nauseating.

    Dec 18, 2011 at 9:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Silence

      Oh yes. How dare people who love each other, yet are far apart, do anything to make themselves feel like they’re together. How loathsome.

      Dec 18, 2011 at 9:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Rillion

      In the middle of the night? Yes, however they choose to express their love for each other is loathsome if it gets in the way of other people sleeping. Email, text, IM….it’s easy to communicate without being noisy. Hell, once upon a time people had to rely on letters. How did relationships happen then?!

      Dec 18, 2011 at 9:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Silence

      I didn’t say it was impossible, dingus. Just the condemnation of “Nauseating” smacks a little too much of jealousy.

      If it was so disgusting, one wonders why the boyfriend didn’t simply say something, and end the problem. College dorms -do- have a process for that kind of thing, you know.

      Oh wait. Prolonging the experience -does- give you something to complain about on the internet, after the fact.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 3:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   The Elf

      He didn’t say it was a dorm, and there could have been a dozen reasons not to take formal action against the lovey-dovey roommate. I, for instance, would take the late-night romantic singer any day over a psycho druggie ‘ho, and so wouldn’t want to risk getting moved into a worse situation.

      Still doesn’t change the fact that when you are living with someone else, it behooves you to stick to basic rules of courtesy like keeping quiet after a certain hour.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 11:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Pun DMC

    Hell, I’d not leave a note. I’d go in person… at 2-4am and tell him off. lol

    Dec 18, 2011 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Jessi

      I’ve actually encountered a similar situation recently, and did confront the person. The person in question lived in the building across the way from mine (about 20′ away), and would either be playing WoW or Skyping at 4 in the morning with his windows open. Even though mine were closed, I could still hear everything he and his friends were saying – loud and clear.

      One night, I marched on over, pounded on his door and politely asked him to knock it the hell off. He got some headphones and started closing his windows when gaming or Skyping.

      It’s amazing how often being sincere and direct works.

      Of course, this site isn’t

      Dec 19, 2011 at 2:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   SilentPsycho

      You must be the luckiest person alive. When I mentioned to my neighbour that her 1am Sing-a-Longs while bathing her 7-year-old daughter were stopping me from being able to sleep, her reply was “Oh, I’m so sorry, but my kids just refuse to go to bed due to the fact that Child X across the road goes to bed that late. You just can’t stop Singing-Fun-Time!”

      Dec 19, 2011 at 3:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   cubie

      Yeah the note writer is being waaaay nicer than I would’ve been.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Nahhh bang

      Knocking on doors at 3 a.m. in my neighborhood can get you shot in the face. And it’s not even a “bad neighborhood.”

      Dec 19, 2011 at 10:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   ArtsBeatLA

      @SilentPsycho — your neighbor sounds like a complete slave to her kid’s whims. Gah! She’ll pay for it during adolescence.

      Dec 21, 2011 at 1:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Alvis

    If you don’t like hearing neighbors through the walls, rent a stand-alone house.

    Ryan has as much right to be up and talking to people at night as Sign-o does during the day.

    Dec 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Lil'

      If Ryan can’t be respectful of his neighbors by maintaining a reasonable volume, particularly during the night, then perhaps he should rent a stand alone house.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 3:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Rachel

      1. Advising that people rent a standalone house is not helpful. If you live in a city, a standalone house is either going to be out of your price range (for most people) or not available unless you move outside city limits.

      2. You’re wrong. Every place I’ve ever rented has included in the lease a right to quiet clause ( That means if someone’s being loud enough that I can hear them in my apartment, I can make a complaint to the landlord, and I’ve done this in the past. I hate being able to hear other people’s music, but if it’s during the day, I try to tolerate it. If it’s a night and I’m trying to sleep, no fucking way. Call me a stick-in-the-mud, but it’s my right.

      Dec 19, 2011 at 4:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Alvis

      1. Sure it’s helpful – you even explained how. The solution is “move out of a city if you’re a baby about noise issues”

      2. It’s awfully presumptuous to speak to terms of a private lease you have no knowledge of.

      Maybe Ryan sleeps during the day. Where’s your sympathy for those who don’t fit your cookie-cutter 9-to-5-workday mold?

      Dec 20, 2011 at 2:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Rachel

      Where’s my sympathy? Sir and/or ma’am, you are correct. It’s awfully presumptuous to talk about someone else’s lease.

      On the same note, it’s awfully presumptuous of you to assume that the easier solution for this note-leaver is to move out of their apartment than to address the problem directly. “Well, gee. I can’t stand how loud the guy next door is, so I guess I have to move, and probably forfeit a couple hundred dollars of my deposit, if not all of it.” (Don’t worry, I’m just presuming here.)

      It’s also awfully presumptuous to assume that I am of the 9-5 workday mold. Here is my sympathy: I am a baker. I work 3AM – 12PM shifts, and I’m in bed by 7PM on most nights. I value my sleep (and, hand in hand, my peace and quiet), as I assume most people do. This is a matter of respect, I think. If Ryan sleeps during the day, he has just as much of a right to tell the neighbors to keep it down as they do to tell him to keep it down. I am sympathetic to all peace-seekers.

      Dec 20, 2011 at 5:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   Ryan

      I didn’t write the note — just saw it on the door to my building’s lobby and thought it was amusing.

      Dec 20, 2011 at 8:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   itsjustahobby

    feel so sorry for the writer here…the couple have no consideration for others.

    Dec 19, 2011 at 6:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   bob loblaw

    hint to skype guy, more time jerking off and less time listening to da girlfriend

    Dec 19, 2011 at 10:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Jami

    Just because you live in a house doesn’t mean you can’t hear what the neighbors are doing. At night my street is very quiet and I have actually heard people having conversations late at night if both their’s and my windows are open.

    For those who throw loud parties I usually just call the police – non-emergancy number, of course. They won’t listen to requests to keep it down.

    I should’ve submitted my own letter I anonymously sent to a neighbor. She puts out all these decorations at both Christmas and Halloween times, fine and well, but the entire month she’ll play soundtracks with them starting from 3 pm until the 10 pm cut off time. Spooky ones for October, techno Christmas music in December. Finally sent her a letter asking her to cut it down to just one hour in the early evening. I couldn’t take it any more and calling the police last year didn’t work. The note has. (Told her people with winter colds couldn’t get proper rest due to her holiday spirit. Not a lie either. Mom has a double ear infection and could not relax because of the noise from this woman’s yard.)

    So in short, TEAM NOTE WRITER!

    Honestly, love is great and all but so is respect for others.

    Dec 19, 2011 at 10:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   me me me

    Cooking the same food and eating it over Skype, wow. I can’t decide if that is lovely or crazy.

    Dec 20, 2011 at 4:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Ruth

    But how loud are this guy’s speakers/talking voice? If it’s normal (and of course some people are louder than they think they are, so he could be too loud without being totally thoughtless), it’s a problem with the building, not his behaviour. If ordinary noises from other flats keep you awake, either there’s something wrong with you and you need to move out to the country, or there’s something wrong with the walls!

    Dec 20, 2011 at 5:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Ginger

    I think it is beautiful and the note writer was being unnecessarily grumpy. He should have just knocked on the door and asked his neighbor to keep it down instead leaving a nasty note.

    Dec 20, 2011 at 6:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Meh

    The note writer needs to re-learn their grammar. Who says “waken up”? And seriously, no one says “a headphone”. If you’re referring to one earbud with a microphone, you’re referring to “a headset”.

    The noise complaint was justified but the wording would definitely make me less likely to take this note seriously.

    Dec 21, 2011 at 10:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   dora

      Reads to me like high-level ESL. Generally good, but off on irregular verbs and a singular object that’s referred to in the plural. I’m an editor, but in this case I won’t quibble.

      Definitely on letter-writer’s side.

      Dec 23, 2011 at 1:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   I don't like you

    Ryan, you’re a douchebag. Hopefully your girlfriend realizes this quickly and finds someone less douche-filled.

    Be more considerate of others.

    Dec 21, 2011 at 9:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   She

    Ryan found the note on the door of his apartment building. He wasn’t the one skyping his GF at all hours of the night.

    Dec 22, 2011 at 4:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Rufus

    HAH. Alvis Pwned.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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