…and F the Polar Bear!

December 29th, 2011 · 56 comments

Jess in St. Louis says this dumpster “is definitely a manifestation of the microcosm of American value clashes that is my block.” Adds Jess: “Hopefully we can all survive the cardboard waste of Christmas in one piece.”

Whoever threw away all that cardboard. Do it again and I'll fill your yard with it. Don't be an Asshole. Recycle. [Response] QUIT Being a Nanny-State, Progressive, Liberal, ASS and try to FORCE me to recycle if I don't want to. FU & F the Polar Bear! And if I catch you in my yard, realize, I support the 2nd Ammendmant [sic]. this was written by someone who choses to recycle.

Whoever threw away all that cardboard. Do it again and I'll fill your yard with it. Don't be an Asshole. Recycle.

QUIT Being a Nanny-State, Progressive, Liberal, ASS and try to FORCE me to recycle if I don't want to. FU & F the Polar Bear! And if I catch you in my yard, realize, I support the 2nd Ammendmant [sic]. this was written by someone who choses to recycle.

related: The right to bear fruit

FILED UNDER: irregular capitalization · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · politics · recycling · St. Louis · The Earth

56 responses so far ↓

  • #1   josh

    Free speech, it doesn’t kill others, just those who use it.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 6:02 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      “F”-ing a Polar Bear sounds like a pretty damned lethal pastime, too…

      Dec 30, 2011 at 12:04 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   The Elf

      “Bear fucker, do you need assistance?”

      Dec 30, 2011 at 8:32 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Harold

      Car ramrod.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 10:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   The White Clouds of Opium bang

      I thought “fucking the polar bear” was a drug reference.

      Dec 31, 2011 at 1:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #2   shwo! bang

    And then there’s the 3rd Amendment, which apologizes for the spelling of the 2nd Ammendmant.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 6:04 pm   rating: 86  small thumbs up

  • #3   katie_2256

    I love the random capitalization that’s going on in the first note. IT makes Things so MUCh more Exciting

    Dec 29, 2011 at 6:09 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      Maybe it is a secret message? W E AWAY A CDB D A AN ILL F D B AN R

      No, still doesn’t make any sense.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 7:37 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   jdaniel


      Dec 29, 2011 at 8:56 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   The White Clouds of Opium bang


      Dec 31, 2011 at 2:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #4   FeRD bang

    Every one of you needs to study these notes until you understand that threats are never an effective way of influencing others’ behavior!

    You’d better understand it… OR ELSE!!!

    Dec 29, 2011 at 6:46 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

  • #5   aliceblue

    These two are meant for each other.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 7:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #6   HeyOH!

    What did the polar bear do? F the PEDOBEAR!

    Dec 29, 2011 at 8:02 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #7   Palomon

    Penn and Teller covered recycling in “Bull Shit.” turns out the overwhelming majority of “recycled” trash ends up in landfills anyway. The good news? Landfills are pretty pleasant once capped.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Palomon

      Some other P&T on recycling:

      Dec 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Nick

      The caveat was that recycling cans and glass bottles is NOT bullshit, though. Anything else, though, is a complete waste of money.

      I especially liked how 1000 years worth of trash would only take up 30 miles, cubed. Sure, the size of a city, but a miniscule portion of America’s landmass.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 8:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   thinkin3d

      Uh, you realize 30 miles cubed, is 30 miles wide, 30 miles long, and…30 miles high? That’s halfway to space. That a lot larger than “A city”

      Dec 29, 2011 at 11:25 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   thinkin3d

      To give you an idea of what that means in reality.
      Say if you flattened the cube out to a layer one mile thick. you’d have an area of 180 miles, by 180 miles, or 32,400 Sq, Miles. Thats the size of North Carolina. A mile high trash heap the size of NC.
      Flatten it out to half a mile, and it doubles again, to 64,800 sq miles. That’s the size of Wisconsin, at a half mile high. Care to go on?

      Dec 29, 2011 at 11:49 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   thinkin3d

      Sorry, my calcs were slightly off, and this being the internets, someone will invariably notice it, and invalidate my entire argument, call me a hippy, tell me that al gore invented the internet and he made billions off global warming, So, to avoid that, here’s are my corrected calcs.
      At 1 mile high, a 30x30x30 cube would occupy 150 miles x 180 miles, for a sq mileage of 27,000. Which is slightly larger than W.V. At half mile, it would be 54,000 sq miles, which is about the size of N.C.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 12:02 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   Adriana

      I’m okay with losing West Virginia if I can keep my quality of life. Sometimes we just have to make these tough sacrifices.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 2:29 am   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   kermit

      Hey, we can keep West Virgina and N.C. and get rid of Texas instead. Added bonus for the xenophobes whining about border security: trash a mile high acts remarkably like a fence!

      But seriously though, you know there’s too much plastic crap when someone has to invent one of those box cutter thingies to remove the annoying plastic packaging that some products come sealed in. (e.g. USB sticks) Even eggs have more accessible packaging than that.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 3:41 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #7.8   The Elf

      Blister packaging is a whole ‘nother rant. How the elderly and disabled manage to open those packages is beyond me. I can barely do it and I am (relatively) young and healthy.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 8:28 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #7.9   Nick

      Oh holy jesus, clearly I misspoke. Obviously the 30 miles thing was wrong, the point is that 1000 years worth of trash would not take up a lot of space.

      You know what, just go watch the episode of Penn and Teller, you’ll see what they’re talking about.

      Also, everyone also assumed that the entire mass would be above ground, because that’s totally how they build landfills, amirite.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 12:52 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.10   Dig Doug

      And how hard could it be to dig a 30-mile deep hole, amirite?

      A 30×30 mile landfill (regardless of how deep) is still a helluva lot of trash. People could at least compost what can reasonably biodegrade before allowing it to be buried with tons of plastic and metal. Unless, of course, you’re OK with having that trash pile in your backyard.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 1:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #7.11   kermit

      I would think this was obvious, but the problem with burying trash is that certain toxic substances – like battery acid – get into the water supply and contaminate the land that is used to grow vegetables and fruit.

      And if you’ve ever been to a landfill – like say some parts of Detroit – they are actually above ground for this very reason.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 1:53 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #7.12   Bumblebee

      How about Cali? It’ll just break off and float away and nothing bad would happen. Problem solved xD

      Dec 31, 2011 at 11:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.13   jdaniel

      Once you flatten it out, have the Air force drop napalm in a few hundred places. In a couple of years, you will have burned off quite a bit. Of course, you might consider the Law of Unintended Consequences….

      Jan 1, 2012 at 1:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.14   Noelegy

      Those of us in Texas look at you askance.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 3:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #8   Goldie

    Ammen, brother.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #9   SpaceGirl

    This one just makes me sad, and I’m not sure why.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #10   Poltergeist

    The first notewriter is a jackass who needs to find better things to do than peering into dumpsters and analyzing the contents, but I just love how the second one uses this as an excuse to push some conservative propaganda. Politics, very surprisingly, are not always the driving force behind stupid shit. Oh, and you can take the red lawn sign down because nobody honestly gives a fuck about who you’re voting for. It’s okay to keep it a secret – God won’t hate you…rant over.

    Dec 29, 2011 at 10:36 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Not necessarily… it could be the trash guys.

      (But I’ll admit it seems odd that they would threaten to fill the yard with it, as opposed to seeing that the miscreant gets a ticket.)

      Dec 30, 2011 at 9:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   Poltergeist

    Now tell me, do rice cakes get thrown in the garbage or recycled? And if I mistakenly put them in the wrong location, will I also receive a PA note, a PA response to said PA note, and a lawn full of rice cakes?

    Dec 29, 2011 at 11:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   pony girl

      Pfffftt, rice cakes belong in a compost pile of course.

      ps – I’m wondering when municipalities are going to force homeowners to have a compost bin or pile. Don’t laugh. You know that San Francisco, Portland or Austin will be all over that soon.

      Dec 29, 2011 at 11:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   infanttyrone


      The Freberg album you wanted is in Austin now @ kid brother’s place.
      Please contact me and I’ll put you in contact with him for transfer 2U.
      Email address is in a post in the Community section (Up There).

      Dec 30, 2011 at 2:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Hannah

      My inlaws have to have a compost trash can. They also live 30 miles out from SF…

      Dec 30, 2011 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   vaginalhubris

      Welcome to Seattle. We have mandatory composting, as well as full-color, helpful brochures indicating what gets recycled, what gets tossed, and what gets composted. And don’t think they won’t fine your ass if you screw it up (fortunately, I haven’t yet). But it does take a certain amount of vigilance when we have out-of-towners staying with us.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 3:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   jdaniel

      @pony girl:

      Is that before or after consumption? :)

      Jan 1, 2012 at 1:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   pony girl bang

    Obviously the first note writer loves the planet so much that they scour their neighborhood trash cans for ill-placed cardboard to make PANs.

    Truly, this person deserves some sort of eco-award. Perhaps the second notewriter can build a huge found-object sculpture for first notewriter’s yard?

    Dec 30, 2011 at 12:00 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #13   Pops Negral

    Not everybody has a place to put recyclables. If it’s there I’ll use it, if not it’s going in the trash. If you have a choice and choose not to then you’re a dick.

    Dec 30, 2011 at 1:45 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #14   Pandanus Bear

    what the hell has a polar bear got to do with recycling? is this some USA cultural reference?

    Dec 30, 2011 at 7:25 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Adriana

      If you don’t recycle, global warming will melt the polar ice caps, killing all the polar bears – you know, Day-After-Tomorrow style. Dick Van Dyke won’t care, though, because they’re not tigers.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 7:48 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Sensible Madness bang

      The 2nd Amendment, as we all know, is the Right to Keep and Arm Bears. The second note writer is inviting the first note writer to go shooting with him and his pet polar bear, and join them in a threesome afterward. He admittedly could have been a little clearer about it, but since the sign is in a public place he opted for subtlety.

      Dec 30, 2011 at 11:08 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

  • #15   viqueen_fan3

    I like how all the Ys in the first note are different

    Dec 30, 2011 at 9:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   People Person

    That cardboard is a homeless guy’s home. Free building material, just trying to pay it forward.

    Dec 30, 2011 at 11:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #17   JBee

    I can relate to the note writer on this one (though I realize it’s pointless to write angry notes on the dumpster). I used to dumpster dive useful stuff out of my apartment complex’s dumpsters all the time; I’m talking gently used clothing in bags, window fans, etc, most of which was in perfectly fine shape to be donated to thrift stores. And of course there was tons of stuff that should be recycled, when the recycling bins were literally a matter of feet away from the dumpster. I think people are just lazy, and it makes me mad too. But stupid notes won’t do a thing.

    Dec 30, 2011 at 11:27 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #18   Bill

    As a fellow St. Louisan, I’d like to point out that this is a communal alley dumpster (likely overflowing with cardboard and making it impossible to put trash into, just like the one in my alley) located mere feet from a commingled recycling dumpster designed explicitly to accept cardboard. (i.e. I read it as “Don’t be a dick and fill a dumpster with not-flattened boxes.” Which I suppose is just as PA, but not nearly as entertaining.)

    Dec 30, 2011 at 12:40 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #19   Roundredhead

    I think my favorite part of the second note is that they feel the need to say that they choose to recycle. I suppose they want us to know that they aren’t as much of a jerk as the guy who filled the dumpster with cardboard.

    Dec 30, 2011 at 8:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   Poltergeist

    Although there is a part of me that hates the “This is mine and I’ll do what I want with it, even if it means throwing it out” crowd.

    Anybody ever had an experience like this? As a second grader, I purchased a school lunch one day that I ended up not enjoying in the least. I learned my lesson, but it was an honest mistake and I was only a hungry little boy. The kid next to me only ate half of his sandwich, so I nicely asked if I could have the other half. His response – “It’s my sandwich and I’ll toss it out of I wanna.” So he did.

    tl;dr – It would be really nice if you recycled or offered unwanted items to other people in some way instead of just throwing them out simply because you can. So yes, I somewhat agree with notewriter #1 – please don’t be an asshole.

    Fun fact – polar bear fur appears solidly white but is actually transparent! Woo!

    Dec 31, 2011 at 12:09 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #21   Cordelia

    When the ice caps melt (even more) and polar bears go looking for a new food source I hope they eat all the deliberate non-recyclers!

    Dec 31, 2011 at 2:06 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #22   Dan

    If I was the cardboard dumper, I wouldn’t be too concerned. If the original author needs to leave a note for me on the dumpster, he clearly doesn’t know where I live. Empty threat much?

    Dec 31, 2011 at 6:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #23   John Alansan

    Waah waah, nanny state…

    Gimme my guns, my freedom, and my lack of personal responsibility!!

    Then gimme a f*cked up planet! Then maybe I’ll admit I was wrong.

    Dec 31, 2011 at 12:54 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #24   redheadwglasses

    My NYC/SF friend moved to Montana and was at a friend’s house, cleaning up after dinner. She was rinsing the jars and cans to recycle, and her Montana host said, “S, why are you washing the garbage?”

    Jan 2, 2012 at 12:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Poltergeist

      Let me guess what happened next – NYC/SF friend walked in on Montana in the middle of her shower and asked, “Why are you washing the garbage?” And thus was the start of a 20 year long PA war.

      Jan 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #25   El Jefe

    Wow, all these comments and nobody apparently noticed the the backwards ‘y’ in the first note’s ‘your’? How can you even mistrain yourself to do such a thing? I live in Vermont, and even we are lacking such a signmaking hippie-camp ‘skill’!

    Is Wacky Caps the new Smoke Screen or Oil Slick like so many Spy Hunter games past, to liberally apply to the note to cover a multitude of crimes against grammar?

    Jan 3, 2012 at 9:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #26   fashion photography course

    Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my cousin were just preparing to do some research on this. We got a book from our local library but I think I learned better from this post. I’m very glad to see such great info being shared freely out there…

    Jan 5, 2012 at 1:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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