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Entries from December 2011

Eat it; love it. Got it?

December 6th, 2011 · 45 Comments

According to our submitter, Jason and his cake-baking wife are newlyweds. So…I guess the honeymoon’s over?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON. Even if you did nothing for mine, I still do love you.

related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

extra credit: Bruce Bogtrotter’s chocolate cake

Tags: birthday · cake · guilt trip · love & marriage

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

December 5th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

This apartment needs Christmas spirit! Let me know if you want to chip in so we can get decorations! —Steph

And the response…

This apartment needs cleaning spirit! Let me know if you want to help out a[nd] clean up your mess! —Angel

related:  Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

Tags: Christmas · cleaning · holiday spirit · nice stationery · Orlando · roommates · sarcasm

Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but…

December 4th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

Hey bitch (Meaghan)!  Hair is not recyclable! (I hope your new haircut looks really stupid!) -N & B

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

Tags: hair · heart · Massachusetts · mean girls · recycling · roommates

It’s a backbreaker.

December 4th, 2011 · 15 Comments

As amused as Emily in Houston was by this item description at the local Salvation Army store, she had to empathize a bit with the poor sucker who wrote it. (“The desk really was large and heavy-looking,” she says.)

The Salvation Army Family Store and Donation Center - $39.99 Item: HEAVY Desk Description: It's a backbreaker

related: We don’t want your ugly couches and heavy desks.

Tags: Houston · retail hell

Do I detect a note of hostility in your hospitality?

December 1st, 2011 · 77 Comments

As someone with a small bladder, Becky of Apostrophe Catastrophes says she’s peed in many a hotel lobby bathroom, but this was the first time she’s encountered a passive-aggressive note in the process.

“Ironically,” she says, on this occasion, “I actually was staying in one of the rooms they hint at in the note.”

There's [sic] 1,015 other bathrooms just waiting for you upstairs.

related: The best bathrooms in Fairbanks, Alaska

Tags: bathroom · motels & hostels · New York