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January 4th, 2012 · 242 comments

Julie in Milwaukee has been trying to drag her nine-year-old daughter to get a haircut for ages. The day of the planned trim, Mom found this prize bit of melodrama waiting on her bed.

Mom, Dad I love you but you can't cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and guess you don't love me enough to do what I want for a change [drawings:

related: A Mother’s Day Report Card



FILED UNDER: guilt trip · hair · kids · Milwaukee · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · visual aids

242 responses so far ↓

  • #1   shwo! bang

    I’ll tell you what she doesn’t love: punctuation.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:48 pm   rating: 80  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   elise

      It’s stream of consciousness. She’s the next Faulkner.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   tiger blood

      sry no 1 can be as dooshy as u

      Jan 14, 2012 at 3:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Erin

      She’s 9 years old fool.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 8:42 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #2   Kaylee

    “Buckets of tears” love it!

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:54 pm   rating: 82  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      One bucket for each unfeeling parent..

      Jan 13, 2012 at 9:58 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #3   nope

    Cute melodramatic guilt trip… but ya know what? If she can express herself that well in writing, it’s probably time she makes some of her own decisions about her hair. At least, that’s how I deal with my daughter.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:54 pm   rating: 215  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Lisap

      Depends on if “I won’t cut my hair” is accompanied by “and I will scream bloody murder if you try to get it clean/brushed”.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Steph

      Totally agree! That’s an amazing grip of language and spelling for a 9-year old, the parents should be very proud – and leave her hair alone ;)

      Jan 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #4   Berva

    A friend of mine is fond of telling the story of the time her mother forced her into a haircut. She was six or seven years old and she had beautiful, flaxen Rapunzel hair, but her mom took her to Fantastic Sam’s or whatever and had it all cut off to more of a kewpie doll length.

    Observing the result, my friend snarled, “How am I supposed to curl THIS?”

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #5   Dumb

    …seriously? She’s nine.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Devil's in the details

      Yes she may be only nine but it took me many years to recover from getting a Pixie haircut (think hair an inch long or so over my whole head) instead of a Pageboy (chin length) when I was six. I cried all the way home. Didn’t cut again for 20 years. Men – this is somethin’ you probably don’t “get”.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 6:27 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Benjamin

      F U, I say to #5.1, devil in the details.

      There was no call for you to make a man-degrading comment like you did… absolutely out of place.

      Besides, no one (but no one) understands the values of a girl’s/woman’s hair, than men do. A massive amount of a gal’s femininity, beauty, and value is communicated through her having un-cut hair… like yours that was not cut for 20 years.

      The shorter a woman cuts her hair, the greater the degree of rebellion and anti-value she is communicating to everyone around her… especially to men.

      Heck, my little girls will never have their hair cut. They’re girls!

      While the girl in the story was just illustrating the manipulative skills she learned from girls and women at school (and probably from her ma), she ought to treat her parents with more respect. Likewise, her mother ought not to try to turn her into a little feminazi with cut hair. And Dad ought not to put up with it from either of them.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   CoinOperatedJoy bang

      Uh, will they also have their ears pierced to display ownership to you and their future men? wtf?

      Jan 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   The Elf

      …And when those daughters turn 18, one will get a ultra-short cut and the other a bright blue mohawk.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   wright1

      “man-degrading”? Seriously? You must spend a lot of your time being offended.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 4:52 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   Poltergeist

      Of course Benjamin wants his wife’s hair to be kept long. It makes it that much easier to drag her back home to his cave. He also gets a chubby if she can braid her armpit hair and curl her mustache Salvador Dali style.

      On the other hand, his wife would also personally prefer it if a certain part of Benjamin was much longer. Unfortunately, 1 inch (concave) is as long as that baby will ever get.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 5:00 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #5.7   Liadan Howard

      “The shorter a woman cuts her hair, the greater the degree of rebellion and anti-value she is communicating to everyone around her… especially to men”

      So, wait, let me get this straight. My short haircut is because I’m rebelling against something and gives me less value to men? I’d better tell my husband he got a raw deal. I always thought I had short hair because it looks awful longer, being so fine and thin. Huh, news to me.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 5:29 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #5.8   hey!

      While we’re getting offended, which is really the bigger devil?
      1. Assuming that men might not understand the ordeal/trauma of having their long hair cut too short (presumably based on the high incidence of short hair amongst males and possibly tinged by notions of men deriving less of their self-image from the appearance of their hair).
      2. Stating that a 9 year old girl is merely practicing the age old art of manipulation — every woman is a master at it, don’t you know? Wanting to have control over the length of one’s hair is in complete disregard for the established ideas of femininity, beauty, and a woman’s worth. Any woman who would cut their hair short clearly holds some sort of anti-male prerogative.

      Poor Ben, probably a life-long virgin who blames his situation on all the “man-haters” out there. No Ben, it’s just you they hate.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 3:24 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #5.9   Stacy

      And I have heard that women who wear their hair super short KNOW how beautiful a face they have that they want to show off. Most women out there know what hair looks best with their face shape and age, and they wear it there. Mine is shoulder length and looks best there, any longer and it pulls my face down (and it just gets very, very heavy and takes forever to dry with our hard water in my city), and any shorter and my face just looks rounder and I have to wear a ton of makeup or I look like a boy. Most men (not all) want all women to have long hair, without considering that it’s a huge amount of upkeep and not flattering to all women.

      Just because a woman has short hair does not mean she’s a feminist or has an “anti-male prerogative.” It just means that she likes it that way.

      Jan 23, 2012 at 9:58 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #6

    I am wondering if her dramatic musings include refusing to bathe are clean up her toys. Western children are just so unloved.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #7   Karla

    I honestly can’t decide what I love most about this note. The broken heart? The buckets of tears? The guilt over not loving her enough to do what SHE wants FOR A CHANGE? This is the note of a truly down-trodden oppressed child. Or the drama queen that could very well be releated to my own child. I would frame this forever it were from my child.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:57 pm   rating: 89  small thumbs up

  • #8   Beeeeeeeea!!!

    Umm…she’s 9. You’re really mature.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Palomon

      Where does writing “Umm” fall on the maturity scale?

      Jan 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   scdaily


      Probably 12 or 13

      Jan 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #9   Kirsten

    Maybe she’s writing it the way she would say it? I can picture her yelling this at Mum & Dad all in one breath, without any pauses! ;)

    Jan 4, 2012 at 5:58 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #10   ella

    I’m cropping the buckets of my tears and using it as a reaction shot from now on.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:04 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   MnDina

      That’s a fantastic idea (translated: I’m swiping it!)! I think it should become a meme.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 6:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #11   Maddy


    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   zenvelo

    She’s got Bob Dylan’s backing:

    Buckets of rain, buckets of tears
    Got all them buckets comin’ out of my ears

    Life is sad, life is a bust
    All you can do is do what you must

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:17 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #13   Quite Contrary

    Really? Am I the only one who thinks that her buckets of tears look an awful lot like penises? REALLY?

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:28 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

  • #14   Amy W.

    I hope they let that poor girl keep her hair! :(

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:29 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

  • #15   Quite Contrary

    Dear Nine-Year-Old, I’m pushing 50 and my parents *still* don’t do let me do what I want.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:30 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

  • #16   Ace of Space

    But there’s only two tears in those buckets.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #17   tuqoa

    Oh good, I’m not the only one lol. I had to really look at those to see the buckets.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #18   Michele

    While I agree that this note is a bit melodramatic, I’d probably feel the same way if I wasn’t given ownership of my own body.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

  • #19   quigrey

    I have super curly hair that my (evil) grandmother decided would look cute in a short bob… I ended up with a Little Orphan Annie jew-fro.

    Buckets of tears and years to grow it out.

    Team Save-The-Hair.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 6:40 pm   rating: 110  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Melissa

      It’s a trim!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #20   DLo

    Speaking as a former downtrodden drama princess: my mom did the same thing when I was six. I protested, did the drama and lost.I went from mid-back length to a sort of Malibu Ken look. I was furious. And I didn’t let anyone forget it or miss an opportunity to let anyone and everyone know just which evil queen had chopped off my beautiful hair. Every day. For the two years it took to grow back. Spare yourself mom. I’m not even in this little one’s league. She will mess you up!

    Jan 4, 2012 at 7:18 pm   rating: 83  small thumbs up

  • #21   linda

    How sad is that. Leave the girl her hair, I’m begging you.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 7:50 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Sophia

      it’s just a trim! no one said anything about a pixie cut!

      Jan 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #22   linda

    For goodness sake. What is your problem? This is a little girl.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #23   Kelly O.

    I’d have to know more about who’s taking care of the hair before deciding whose side I’m on here. My guess is that mom is spending a lot of time and energy washing, brushing, and fixing that hair.

    If it were my daughter, I would tell her she could have whatever length of hair she wanted if she’d learn to take care of it herself and keep it groomed. But if she expected me to do it for her, then I’d get to choose the length!

    Jan 4, 2012 at 7:58 pm   rating: 97  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   I have 3 girls

      I’m with you. If mom’s doing all the work, she gets to decide. Besides, like many have said, IT’S A TRIM!! Maybe the kid has split ends, or uneven growth. Maybe she cut some herself and it looks like crap! I just cut my 5 year old’s hair to a short bob because she FREAKS anytime I try to comb or brush it. And I have been able to painlessly untangle some of the worst hair of grown ups who have over sensitive scalps. I told her she takes care of her hair herself to my satisfaction, gets a cute short cut, or gets dreads. (I showed her pics of the dreads and pics of a short bob)
      She chose the bob and is now REALLY happy with it. I’ll stop rambling now… ;)

      Jan 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #24   Lilly

    When i was 11 my mom decided that my waist length hair should be cut into “the Rachel”. Just a tip parents, an 11 year old can not properly blow dry and style “the Rachel”. And even if they could a small town salon with a 90 year old stylist who may or may not k ow who the hell Rachel is: not the place to get that particular cut. Team little drama queen all the way. I know your pain sweetie.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 8:05 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

  • #25   Joy

    Maybe it’s a Wisconsin thing, but I really feel for her. My sister (40) and I (31) still tell the sad story of my mom chopping off our hair. My sister had the horror of our great-grandpa’s friend saying “Raymond, what a cute grandson” upon meeting her after *the cut*. Due to an injury when I was nine, I wasn’t able to brush my hair myself so my mom chopped off almost two feet of my hair. Both those things have obviously scarred us for life. We still rib Mom about both events.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #26   angie

    Well, now, we don’t know if “haircut” = chop a foot off, or = a trim.

    Hair needs trimming occasionally.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 9:06 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   MnDina

      LOL, I wish you would have written “chop off 12 inches” because when I first read it I wondered, “How the hell does getting a haircut equal chopping off an appendage?” Yeah…I need more coffee.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 7:02 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   Melissa

      It says “trim”!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #27   DD

    It struck me that the the prelude to the note said “has been trying to drag her nine-year-old daughter to get a haircut for ages”. When I was that age what my parents said, went. There was no “trying to drag” about it. I’m sure she gets her way all the time. Making her do something she doesn’t want to do now is a lost cause.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 9:06 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

  • #28   p'bee

    the evil hairdresser cut off my pretty hair when i was nine. i’m still scarred by it 20 years later. protect the hair!

    Jan 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #29   jdaniel

    Long hair is a woman’s glory. I have also seen some nasty, unkempt messes. If I were to get this note from my child, I would not insist on getting it cut, but I would require that the ends be trimmed to maintain her beautiful mane. The girl should be able to live with a 1/2″ less hair every few months. But mom and dad may not agree.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   The Elf

      There’s a reason for a pixie cut if I ever saw one. “Long hair is a woman’s glory” my ass. I love my long hair, but not every woman can pull off that look or wants to bother with the maintenance.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 8:16 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #29.2   Sophia

      they said it was just for a trim… not once does it say pixie cut…

      Jan 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   Olde Skewl

    Actually, I thought they were trash cans (as in where her hair would go) until I saw the “caption.”

    Jan 4, 2012 at 10:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #31   trillian

    Ownership of her own body? My 9 year old son keeps telling me he wants his hair cut like Justin Bieber, since I’ve always had it cut very short ala George Clooney. I told him the day he voluntarily washes it is the day he can cut it how he likes. If mom is the one taking care of the hair, mom is the one making the decisions regarding it.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 10:36 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

  • #32   Olde Skewl

    OMG! We must be related because my mom did the exact same thing to me! She bitched about having to wash & do something w/my hair all the time so she had my great grandmother cut off approximately 2 feet of my hair when I was 8 years old. I got the giant “cowlicks” instead of the fro, tho’. LOL

    Jan 4, 2012 at 10:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #33   uncreative

    I also think the girl should get to keep her hair, but she should get it regularly trimmed to remove split ends, which will help it stay long and beautiful. However, she should also have to do most of the work to maintain it herself; she’s nine, so she should be able to.

    My mother cut my hair short every summer, because she thought it was more practical. I hated it – every summer. Every time I looked in the mirror for months I would be miserable. But my memory wasn’t good enough as a little kid to remember when next summer came around that having my hair cut would make me miserable for months. When I got old enough to remember that, I insisted on not getting it cut. And I was able to look into mirrors without a sense of alienation and misery.

    If a kid knows that they are strongly attached to long hair, then maybe the kid is actually strongly attached to long hair. I still can’t have short hair without feeling like there is some stranger staring out at me from a mirror. I tried it as an adult, and it once again made me utterly miserable until it grew back out. Sure, the kid’s writing isn’t the best written argument, but she’s nine and these can be difficult concepts to express.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 10:38 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

  • #34   Olde Skewl


    Something happened between our generation and the last two to three crops. The kids are now in charge. They have a sense of entitlement like none before them.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 10:42 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Judith

      I think Plato said the same thing…

      Jan 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #34.2   Lisap

      This is not an entitlement thing, or a generational one. It’s a little girl and her hair thing, which is definitely not a new thing.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:04 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #35   farcical aquatic ceremony

    I agree with your thinking–if I thought my daughter absolutely needed a haircut–for instance, her hair’s at her lower back and washing & brushing it is a pain for us both–I’d tell her she had to get a haircut for that reason, but then I’d give her some ‘style’ options (e.g., bangs vs. no bangs, choice of how short to make it, etc.). That way my practical concerns would be taken care of, but she’d get to maintain some ‘control’.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 10:43 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

  • #36   iseefishtanks

    I was forced into a haircut at age 9. Mom made my brothers chase me around the yard and drag me in! She was just sick of taking care of it. I don’t know why she didn’t just teach me how to do that myself (it was really long). I have a10 year old long-haired daughter now and I promised myself I would never do that to her. Team Hair all the way!!!

    Jan 4, 2012 at 11:01 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

  • #37   Poltergeist

    People seem to have the idea stuck in their heads that she has this gorgeous, perfect head of hair. Believe me, there are plenty of little girls out there who refuse to let their hair be cut, and it looks like a nest. I can understand a parent wanting to keep it at a more maintainable length, but I agree with what others have said – if she takes care of her hair herself, then her parents should let her keep it whatever length she wants since it is part of her own body. However, if she expects somebody else to do it for her…well, tough luck sweetie. Hair is painless to remove (I’m talking about head hair before anybody objects) and grows back, so you’ll have plenty of years to do things your own way soon enough.
    I also concur with the penis bucket observation. If you cover up the words, it would appear as if she was attempting to mend her broken heart with the “love” of not one, but two men with incredibly flat, unappealing packages. Confessions of a whore, so to speak.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 11:18 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

  • #38   Pipergirl

    I own a store that’s right next door (with a very thin wall) to a hairdresser – take it from me, don’t have your child’s hair cut if they’re not happy about it. I’ve had to convince many of my customers no, that’s not actually a monkey caught in a cement mixer, that’s a 5 year old who doesn’t want their hair cut…

    The saddest was one little girl who was dragged outside and told “When you scream like that Mummy loves you less.” I now have a bowl of lollies in my shop in case of emergencies. (And when I came to get my own hair cut I got a bit more taken off so it could be used in oncology wigs.)

    Jan 4, 2012 at 11:36 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

  • #39   emily

    My folks chopped my curly red locks when I was six and I’ve never managed to grow it back. Let the girl keep her hair. (If it’s curly, it takes care of itself.) And you penis people need to grow up, get a life, and, if possible, get laid already.

    Jan 4, 2012 at 11:38 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Naomi

      Curly hair does NOT take care of itself! It is quite obvious that you have never had to look after long, curly hair, if you believe that!

      Jan 6, 2012 at 11:33 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #39.2   The Elf

      Long, fine, straight hair doesn’t take care of itself, either.

      In fact, the only long hair I’ve ever seen take care of itself was on my husband and on a good friend, both of whom had/have long, thick hair. It had a wave to it, not curly exactly but not broom-straight either. The extent of “care” was to wash it, let it air dry, and shake it out. My husband had gorgeous auburn hair and my friend has beautiful honey-blonde hair.

      The rat bastards.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #39.3   Palomon

      Emily, as a penis person, i must tell you I am deeply offended at your language. “Laid.” Consider yourself reported.
      Oh, and the trick to growing hair back is not cutting it.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #39.4   got my curl back

      so sad you will likely never see this, but in case you do … if you really want your curls back it is likely adult products stripping away your natural curl. cut your hair short and treat it super nice while it grows out – no silicones, no heavy conditioners – and you just may find your curls return (curls result from how your hair grows, so it is impossible to actually cut them out).
      The same thing happened to me at the exact same age. Be prepared tho– curly hair DOES NOT “take care of itself.” It requires lots of care as the natural curl promotes tangles, and curly hair tends to be more prone to breakage.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 3:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #40   Palomon

    Portrait of the Artist as a Young Girl?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 1:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #41   Arlette

    I think you’re right, especially if she can take care of the hair herself.
    When I told my mother “but it’s MY hair!”, she used to say “but I have to look at it!”, even when I was twelve y/o or so. It really pissed me off. I would never, ever say that to a child.
    Good point you made about the ownership of your body.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 3:50 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

  • #42   Grrrr

    Seriously she’s nine, my little dude doesn’t have ownership until eighteen or when he shows total, non melodramatic behaviour(no chance, he’s a drama queen)… Kids have NO rights in my house until eighteen except for the right to life, the right to be spanked or grounded with no tv/computer, the right to express an opinion(which will be ignored until *I* decide they have a point.

    Basically I had this same conversation with my son on last Friday… I didn’t care… He has a cool new haircut… Tough titties kid… You get what I decide!

    Jan 5, 2012 at 6:17 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Hane

      I predict that someday, Grrr, you’ll be sitting around wondering why your son doesn’t bring your grandkids around to visit. Among my acquaintances, the parents who brag most loudly about their “strictness” tend to have the most tenuous relationships with their adult children.

      I say, help the little girl learn how to care for her hair and give her reasonable input into its style. That’s what I did, and my kid still likes me–and I get to see my grandson whenever I want.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 11:40 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #42.2   Jami

      See, that’s how to be a parent. Too many people today try to be their kids “friend” and instead get bratty kids who think nothing of ripping up library books, cutting in line, and being abusive to handicapped people. Be a parent FIRST and a friend second.

      Good for you, Grrr. I bet your kids won’t be having kids at 15 and if they ever have a substance abuse problem it’ll be after they move out. (Well, it happens even in the best of families. Free will and all that.) But I bet there’ll never be gang issues or any of the crap I see other peoples’ kids get into because their parents were too permissive.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 8:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #42.3   Poltergeist

      I have a secret for all of you – there’s a little thing called “balance.” Stick-up-your-ass bitch and loving doormat are not your only options.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 2:47 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #42.4   Dee

      Amen, Grrr! I don’t know exactly what is wrong with children today, but I’m going to bet a good part of it is parents trying to “friend” their kids.

      FTR, my mom was absolutely tough, but loving as well. She said I couldn’t get my ears pierced until I was 13. I whined, I complained, and in the end, I still got my ears pierced at 13. My son adores her and we spend all the time we can with her, probably because she wasn’t afraid her own children were such melodramatic twits as to hold an ear piercing or hair cutting against her for over 15 years!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 6:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #42.5   CoinOperatedJoy bang

      WOW! I mean, WOW! Glad you’re not my parent! So are my kids! Yikes! Have fun with all that resentment you’re building in them!

      Jan 19, 2012 at 2:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #43   Nunavut Guy

    I am a penis person.Quake in fear our looming invasion!

    Jan 5, 2012 at 7:06 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Palomon

      I, for one, welcome our new phallic overlords.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #43.2   Homo Erectus

      The penis people are coming!

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:48 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #43.3   Palomon

      Ha! “Coming.”

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #43.4   Homo Erectus

      Penis people are pleased that someone picked up on that double entendre.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #44   lulz

    Oh My!
    She is 9. If she can take care of it then let her have it. If she can’t/won’t then teach her & give her the choice. Take care of it or get it cut.
    If it’s no choice but to cut — let her look at the hair books — there might actually be some styles that she likes & easy for her to take care of.
    She might not quite realize you don’t mean you want her to look like “Ken” barbie.
    If it’s just split ends trim — then explain it to her.

    As for the penis comments — come on! As if!
    Those rounded things on top are handles for heaven’s sake!
    The not is obviously quickly drawn up out of sadness/rage of a 9 year old little girl so hours of care for the perfect drawing of a bucket would not happen. o_O

    As for me — my mom INSISTED I have long hair just because I am female. I hated it. Hot, heavy, the headaches….
    I kept saving my money from odd jobs I did for people. (raking leaves, cutting grass, gardening, paper deliveries, etc) and went to the hair salon down the street one day & got my hair cut & a perm. I loved it. So did mom!
    From then on she let me do what I wanted with my hair. It’s still short :)

    As for the punctuation comment — SHE IS 9! Not quite the English professor yet.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 7:43 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #45   Katie

    My mom was the same way – I had bangs when I was very young, but even trimming was absolutely out of the question because she thought it made hair look “unnatural.” I desperately wanted it cut, she always refused.

    Then I went to college, and my shaggy, split end-riddled waist length hair got chopped to a shoulder-length cut which I loved. Mom was furious, cried and pretty much threw a tantrum when she saw it, and I just calmly handed her an envelope containing the majority of the cuttings. She’s STILL mad that I have short hair and I’m now 33.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:05 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

  • #46   Lil'

    I think if she wants long hair, her mom should coach her on how to care for it properly, then give her a chance to do it. If she doesn’t care for it, then she forfeits her right to choose.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:25 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #47   Simon

    Really? You did whatever your parents wanted, on time, every time? Nah.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:45 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #48   wooddoug

    “to do what I want for a change”. Either she doesn’t always get her way, or the ratio of get, don’t get is skewed by her 9 year old mind. Regardless, never let a few facts get in the way of a good story, and she has one.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #49   wooddoug

    Penis people? That would make a good horror flick . Maybe there could be a sequel. Return of the penis people.
    But I agree Emily, although the buckets reminded me of last years “draw a penis on it” post, since the note concerned a 9 year old girl, the penis comment may have crossed the invisible line.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #50   Me

    I agree with Lil’. Kids should have a right to express themselves and make their own decisions within reason. When I take my 9 year old to get her hair cut, she regularly chooses how to have it cut. Granted I have our stylist talk to her about haircare and what she needs to do to style it in that particular cut and sometimes she decides it’s too much trouble for her. She now knows what she doesn’t like to have done, for instance, bangs! She is growing her hair out for Locks of Love right now and has been caring for it properly, but if I had to do all the hair care for her, she would have a shorter cut.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #51   t-rex

    I agree. Let the kid be. If she likes herself, and she isn’t growing facial hair, let it be.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #52   Yolanda

    A child of nine should have a say but I remember how my light blond hair tangled and my mother detested combing it, so she’d be cruelly rough with it and I would be noisy. I was around 8 or 9 when they turned me into a little boy. I hated it and as soon as I was old enough to learn to comb my own hair properly I grew it out. I have blonde hair streaming to my butt to this day.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:53 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #53   The Elf

    I have to agree. Pick your battles, Mom. Hair is nothing.

    But the note? That’s a battle worth fighting!

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #54   The Elf

    I was one of those girls! My long, fine hair was in a constant tangle because I didn’t maintain in properly and didn’t want it cut. But Mom let me keep it, deciding I was old enough to make those sorts of decisions. I had to have snarls cut once, and that resulting short cut convinced me to take care of my long hair properly. I have long hair to this day. So, those were some ugly school pictures, but the lesson learned was lifelong!

    It’s just hair. Girls need to learn both decision making and responsibility. Deciding hair style and maintaining it properly are both ways to start both good habits.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #55   The Elf

    Why can I not reply to comments today? That comment was meant for Poltergeist at #37. Sorry!

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #56   oi

    I had an opposite problem. She would not let me cut my hair. I had long, up to my hips long, jet black gorgeous with volume hair. I was offered shampoo ad modeling too. It looked very nice but if you are carrying that load on your head for 24/7 it gets old. People would actually joke that all my food goes into my hair none in my body. She would do brushing and take care of it but I had to sit still for 45 minutes everyday that was just too much. Her favorite argument was that she lost pretty hair due to birth complications so I owed her to keep that gorgeous set of hair. one day I took matters no scissors in my hands and chopped off bunch from behind. Then I was taken to hair dresser who made it shoulder length and took all my hair to sell for artificial hair.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:36 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #57   Lil'

    Poltergeist, a nine-year-old child wrote this note. It seems you have far bigger problems than your promiscuity.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:42 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #58   arm2008

    For crying out loud – short hair on a girl doesn’t make her a boy any more than long hair on a boy makes him a girl!

    If I had kids I’d buy clippers and keep them all buzzed until they were old enough to take care of their own nasty hair.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:52 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #59   oi

    What does NOT look like penis on internet?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:53 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #60   meredith

    Ah this takes me back to my haircut experience. I have curly hair and it looks fantastic long. When I was about 7 my parents wanted to trim it to cut the split ends. (You can’t really see split ends in curly hair. I’m in my 30s now, have not had a trim since childhood and still get compliments on my hair all the time. People are surprised when I say I never get haircuts or go to a salon.)

    I was so livid about the trim that as soon as we left the salon I started deliberately tearing at the ends of my hair to create frayed split ends for spite. I made a frizzy mess but I was so furious with my parents for touching my hair. I still think they should’ve left it alone.

    If the kid is old enough to care about her hair and write this note, let her style and wash her own hair and let her do what she wants.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 11:12 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #61   Yeah

    Troll on.

    And if you aren’t trolling, you will be when your youngest turns 18 and isn’t forced to deal with your crap.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 11:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #62   bookworm

    So nice of you to decide to get him a cool new haircut, mom. You sounded like a hardassed harpy up until then.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 11:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #63   lucy

    My mother forced me to get a “mushroom cut” as a kid and I’m still scarred. If the little girl’s hair is a problem, maybe parents + daughter can learn how to take care of it better.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #64   *snerk*

    No, if it’s curly, it *doesn’t* take care of itself.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #65   Quite Contrary

    Thank you Nanavut! Does anyone think that I *want* to see penises everywhere I go? I think not.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #66   Quite Contrary

    Thank you Nunavut! Do people think I *want* to see penises everywhere I go? I think not.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #67   GhostWriter bang

    I getting depressed because I am too old to understand what everyone who is writing “She’s 9!” is talking about.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #68   Mr. Johnson

    One day the Penis People shall rise up.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #68.1   Homo Erectus

      Penis people have bumper stickers that read “Nice People Suck.”

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:47 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #68.2   Homo Erectus

      Penis people got the shaft.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 11:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #68.3   Homo Erectus

      Penis people hang around with a couple of nuts.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 11:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #68.4   Homo Erectus

      Sometimes penis people get rubbed the wrong way.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 12:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #68.5   Homo Erectus

      Penis people prefer an honorable discharge.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #68.6   Poltergeist

      I wonder how long Homo Erectus was waiting for the perfect moment to bust out that gold. I can’t imagine it was that long of a wait, though, considering we’re on the internet.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #68.7   Homo Erectus

      Penis people enjoy a running joke.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #68.8   Palomon

      @ Poltergeist- let’s not be overly stiff about this.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #68.9   Poltergeist

      I’ll try to calm myself and become a bit more flaccid when it comes to these things. It’s just that, according to certain people, I’m not that well endowed in the humor department. It’s okay though, I’m up for the challenge. I like things rough. Maybe Junction’s mother can help me out. I hear she’s pretty loose.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 4:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #68.10   Homo Erectus

      Penis people love that the originator of this comment thread has a euphemistic name.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #69   Plumchunder

    Parents just don’t understand!

    They’re always telling you how to tress, what to ‘do, cover your mouth when you coif, making you take a nap, say “Fleece” and “Thank you,” pelage to behave properly…

    It can be so tuft to take.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #69.1   Hairy Plotter

      You forgot the way parents always tell you to clean your plait. And then if you protest, they simply brush you off.

      I think this girl deserves a severe upbraiding, myself.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #70   Plumchunder

    Parents can be dia-follicle!

    That one was pretty bad. I should have quit when I was a head…

    Jan 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #70.1   Hairy Plotter

      I think we’re getting close to the root of this issue, Plumchunder.

      But I have to say, “dia-follicle” is NAIR-ly a LOCK for best pun in this thread. If only you had spelled it “dye-a-follicle”…

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:21 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #71   Nunavut Guy

    We are the penis people.We roam the stars.We are omnipresent.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #71.1   Homo Erectus

      Penis people wear raincoats for protection.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #71.2   Homo Erectus

      Penis people stare at you with a single eye.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #71.3   Homo Erectus

      Penis people hate poorly-drawn containers that vaguely resemble themselves.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:39 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #71.4   Homo Erectus

      Penis people are itching for something to do.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #71.5   Homo Erectus

      Penis people get pissed off easily.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #71.6   Homo Erectus

      Penis people regret dangling participles.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #71.7   Homo Erectus

      Penis people use Wang computers.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #71.8   Homo Erectus

      Penis people are envious.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #71.9   Homo Erectus

      Penis people appreciate support from Jocks.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #71.10   Homo Erectus

      Penis people get up for a good time.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:45 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #72   Nico

    dude she’s nine.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #72.1   Palomon

      She’s nine and drawing little penises. Home Erectus is trying to deal with that pain the best he can. You insensitive tear bucket.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #72.2   Homo Erectus

      I don’t think he was talking to me. He posted 4 days earlier than I did.

      Penis people don’t mind a little righteous indignation.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #73   Nunavut Guy

    The”reply to this comment”feature does not seem to be working.This really destroys the threads Nico.Look around the middle of the posts to see where and why this started.

    I’m not in any way trying to connect a nine year old girl with male genitalia.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #74   causeIcan

    You are one sick person making such comments about a 9 year old girl.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #75   Atheist Scum Unite!

    I know there’s something wrong with me. At first glance, I thought the “buckets” looked like penises.
    Guess I just want to do WHAT I WANT for a change…

    Jan 5, 2012 at 4:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #76   p'bee

    recipe to make your kids hate you?

    it’s not about doing everything the kid wants, but respecting the fact the kid has a brain and opinions, whether you agree or not.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #77   p'bee

    for some reason this was put in the wrong place, it is a reply to grrr’s ‘i ignore anything my kid says’ comment.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 5:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #78   Eileen

    When my mother was a little girl, she had two long, thick braids, one on either side of her head. She went to visit her uncle at his barber shop, and he sat her down in the chair and snip! Snip! Bye bye braids.
    She never had long hair again. There’s this hilarious picture from about 1970 of my mother and her siblings — the girls all have long, long hair, the guys have sideburns and mustaches, and here’s my mother with short hair and my father in a flattop.

    And then there was the time I had my hair cut by my drunk uncle (twenty-one years clean and sober now, praise God). Worst haircut I ever had, and that counts the time I cut it myself.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 6:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #79   KentGirl

    I think I’m the only one who’s Team Parents on this one. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had nice hair, and it’s never been longer than chin-length, but I do remember the summer my younger sister refused to get a haircut.

    It was much the same story as this: a young girl upset about her parents wanting to change her hair. But my sister never brushed or washed her own hair, and our mom seemed to want her to learn a lesson. Long story short, my little sis had the most awful, nasty, smelly dreadlocks ever. She was eventually forced into the barbershop for a major haircut, but is no worse off for it.

    It’s hair, people, it comes back. It’s not like the stories I’ve heard of moms getting their daughter’s ears pierced when the little girl doesn’t want to.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 7:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #80   Jessi

    Everyone claiming to be traumatized by a bad haircut as a kid is being way too melodramatic.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 7:19 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #81   uncreative

    No, actually, I’m not. It’s likely an issue of body dysmorphia. I don’t know why I need to have long hair to feel okay, but I do. Every person’s brain has certain ideas about how their body should be. When reality does not match that internal concept, then you get a sense of alienation and wrongness about your own body. Years of observation and testing have shown that mine includes having long hair. If my hair is short, then I hate what I see in the mirror, and it feels like a stranger is where my image should be. That’s really disturbing.

    In fact, I am not attached to being female. It’s just a fact of my body. If not for the damage it’d do to my relationship, I’d be less traumatized by waking up male than by waking up with short hair. Long hair is part of my identity, whereas being female is just a random attribute that happens to be the way it is. But it’s the same situation as how some people would be traumatized by suddenly being forced to switch sex without their consent.

    Not everyone will have an attachment to hair length, but some people do. And this child sure seems passionate on the subject, so this child may.

    I’ve had other traumatic things happen in my life. For example, one morning I woke up with no central vision in my right eye – just a big gaping black hole where the sight should have been. It turned out to be a retinal detachment. In my case, that meant permanent loss of most of the vision in my right eye. It was far less traumatic though than having to live with short hair. I’ve also had more traumatic events than getting my hair cut short, but I find it annoyingly dismissing of the reality of other people’s existence to assume that everyone feels the same way about their hair as you do, Jessi.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #81.1   Nahhh bang

      uncreative said: “If not for the damage it’d do to my relationship, I’d be less traumatized by waking up male than by waking up with short hair.”

      I can empathize with you 100%. My husband has long hair (below his shoulder blades) and a full beard and mustache. One day over 20 years ago, while relighting the furnace, he was almost totally de-furred by a flaming gas-ball. Luckily, his skin wasn’t burned, but his hair had to be cut militarily short. I cried a lot over his beautiful hair; I could not kiss or even touch his naked, hairless face. I just couldn’t. It wasn’t HIM.

      His hair and beard have long since grown back — even fuller — but I still sometimes have nightmares about the incident, even though much, much worse things have happened since.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #81.2   Jessi

      Seek medical help. Now. Seriously – you’re mentally unstable.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 2:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #81.3   Jessi

      @Uncreative, seriously, you’re the 5’6″ 90 lb girl who thinks she’s fat. Seek help.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 5:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #81.4   Suryz

      Just because you’ve self-diagnosed yourself with body dysmorphia does not mean you have it, and even if you did… Well that’s a condition you should be talking to a mental health professional about. Either way, you need to be talking to a mental health professional, actually.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #81.5   Sura

      And to #81.1   Nahhh:
      I feel really bad for your husband. Seriously? You married the man, not his hair. He is still the sane person even with no hair. If you can’t even bring yourself to touch your husband when he’s hairless, you also need to seek the help of a mental health professional.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:14 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #81.6   bookworm

      Sura: You are on a snark website diagnosing people. Maybe YOU should seek the help of a mental health professional.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 6:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #81.7   Palomon

      Losing your hair, which grows back, is, in your mind, less traumatic than losing your sight? Your hair informs more of your identity than your sex? I honestly don’t know how to riff on that. Just read this out loud to yourself.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 12:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #81.8   Reepicheep-chan

      @ Jessi: It is a mental abnormality, but that does not equate to a mental illness. Keeping your hair long =/= starving yourself .

      Srs neural-typical ablism ITT.

      Jan 16, 2012 at 4:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #82   Brillig

    uncreative; you’re nuts. Seriously. It’s hair.

    Also, this kid is nine. Surely she’s been having hair lopped off for five or six years now to keep it tidy. No?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #83   Palomon

    The gigglebrax machine is broken.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #84   Poltergeist

    Are you really telling me that you have never looked at something and said “hmm, that kinda looks like a penis”? Because if you’re telling the truth, then you must live on a distant planet, one probably devoid of males. We are all silly children at heart and insist on pointing these things out. Surely you can understand that?

    Apparently our right to reply directly to other comments has been revoked. This was meant for emily, post #39.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #85   Poltergeist

    This is to #49, wooddoug.

    I’ve had to play countless games of hangman with young children, many younger than 9, and they absolutely love drawing boobies and peepees on the little stick figure (although I don’t think they understand that they’re drawing them on an asphyxiated corpse.)
    If there is a line to be crossed, those young’uns are the ones who have taken the first step!

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #86   Poltergeist

    To Lil’ #57 and the prudes who thumbed him/her up -

    Oh please, get over yourselves. Yes, it was written by a 9 year old. However, if you didn’t read the words and looked directly at the picture, it just might look like a broken heart with two penises. I giggled and made up a little story to go with it. I must be a promiscuous sexual deviant! Seems as if you like to invent stories of your own.

    Another story – a 6 year old girl was pretending to put a wedding ring on her finger by making a loop with her thumb and index finger on one hand and continually moving it up and down over the ring finger of the other. Woo boy, did my coworkers and I have a good fit of hysteria over that one. We do sure have dirty minds. Lock me up!

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:48 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #86.1   MnDina

      We should do lunch!

      Jan 8, 2012 at 7:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #86.2   Poltergeist

      Hit me up. I’ll be here all week!

      Jan 9, 2012 at 4:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #86.3   Palomon

      Do these tear buckets understand that the comments on PAN are not being sent to the nine-year-old who wrote the PAN?

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #87   Maria Droujkova

    Forcing a girl to do something with her body against her will (outside of very clear medical emergencies) is scary. What with rape rates being what they are; and yes, most rapists are friends and family of victims, so the fact it’s parents doing it isn’t much help. I am not comparing haircuts to rapes at all, but for the sake of protection of the child and developing her character, l maintain the body should be off-limits for non-consensual intrusions of any sorts (again, beyond clear medical emergencies).

    Jan 6, 2012 at 8:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #87.1   Sura

      Are you serious? So if the kid refuses to take a bath, or put on clothes, or brush his teeth, the parent should just say “oh well” and give up?

      Jan 7, 2012 at 9:11 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #87.2   bookworm

      So if you have a child, you’ll refuse to take care of it on the moral standing that anything you do to it is tantamount to “rape”?

      Please never breed.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 6:54 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #87.3   Palomon

      What are the “rape rates?” I mean, if she’s charging, it isn’t exactly rape, is it?

      ..c’mon, it’s jokes!

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #88   The Elf

    WTF? “I am not comparing haircuts to rapes….” Yes, you are. And my mind is boggled.

    Look, she’s 9. That means that while she is developing a sense of self, learning limits and self-governance, making decisions, she still needs firm adult guidance. Letting her make decisions involving hair is one thing. Saying that all touching of all sorts should be 100% by her express consent is a little silly.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 8:53 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #89   Junction

    @ Poltergeist #86, You described a 9 year old mending her broken heart by sleeping with multiple men. Don’t try to make that sound OK.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 10:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #89.1   Poltergeist

      Yes Junction, I did, and I was incredibly serious about it as you clearly understood by the tone of my text. You saw right through me. You are very intelligent, and I commend you on your outstanding morals. We all must see past the humorous facade of broken hearts and penis buckets in order to stop the atrocities against children that come as a result of people like me who poke fun at such images over the internet! My dirty Freudian mind needs to be contained lest it spread more filth across this otherwise unadulterated website!

      Jan 7, 2012 at 5:36 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #89.2   Junction

      Ooohhh, I didn’t realize you were joking. Since you were joking, then it’s fine. Sorry, sometimes tone is lost in writing. Hold on while I laugh at the joke you made about a 9 year old girl with multiple male sex partners. Hahaha! Whew, that was a good one! Now let’s have a good laugh about elderly abuse. Did you hear the one about the rapist that went into the nursing home?

      Jan 7, 2012 at 12:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #89.3   Poltergeist

      I have a water cooler story to tell you about a 5 year old boy who prostituted himself off to a filthy, washed up housewife with a dry cooch. It’s just hilarious! Would you like to hear it?

      Jan 9, 2012 at 4:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #89.4   Junction

      No thanks. Your dry cooch is of no concern to me. I hope you don’t have children. If you do, I pray they are never touched inappropriately. It seems you have no sensitivity to the issue, which is unfortunate. If you’ve ever known a victim of sexual abuse, you’d know it’s really no joking matter. But carry on if you must. I’m sure we’ll have more conversations in the future, but for now, I’m moving on.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 2:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #89.5   Poltergeist

      Thanks for your critique! I’ll be sure to take it to heart. ttfn!
      8==D 8==D (these are buckets)

      Jan 9, 2012 at 10:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #89.6   Palomon

      Jeezus, Junction- he said, if you cover the text and look only at the picture, it looks like a heart and two penises. Seriously- he’s talking about the look of the note. If anything, Poltergeist’s humor draws on the contrast between the drawing and the innocence of the kid who drew it. The guy making the jokes is the heart, the unfounded critics? Buncha tear buckets.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #89.7   Palomon

      And penis drawings and raping the elderly is just funny. Everyone knows that.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 11:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #89.8   Poltergeist

      Finally, somebody who understands! Paloman, you’re my new favorite person for the next 12 hours unless a very attractive individual comes along and propositions me. Then I have no choice but to transfer the title to that individual.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 12:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #89.9   Homo Erectus

      Penis people admire anonymous internet bonding.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:08 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #90   Elly

    “Buckets of my tears”? I think we’ve got a young Sylvia Plath on our hands.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 11:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #91   Elly

    Oh and @ Grrrr #42 — Unless you want to be left in a nursing home to die when you’re eighty, I suggest you start getting a little more diplomatic with your kids. Just sayin’.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 11:29 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #92   Susie

    A nine year old child should have a better grasp of punctuation. It need no be perfect, but as a former 4th grade teacher, I can promise you: ANY 4th grader knows well that SOME punctuation belongs in a sentence. The mother of this child needs to not give a shit about the hair, and give a reasonable-sized shit about her daughter’s lack of basic grammar and punctuation.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #92.1   Homo Erectus

      Penis people don’t get worked up over the grammatical deficiencies of casual, handwritten notes.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #92.2   Wandering skeptic

      The best thing about Susie’s rant is her own poor proofreading:

      “It need no be perfect…”

      It need be no even as perfect as a former 4th grade teacher’s diatribe about proper grammar, apparently.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 12:38 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #92.3   CoinOperatedJoy bang

      Maybe she’s in 3rd grade? Just sayin’.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 3:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #93   Ginger

    I love her so much. Of course she should keep her hair. My granddaughter who was seven had hair down her back and last summer and said she wanted to donate it to Locks of Love. It was all her idea and she looked great. Some of the girls in her school are letting their hair grow to donate also.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #94   Ginger

    She was upset when she wrote it. Give her a break.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 2:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #95   Susie

    Most of the comments in this thread show everything that’s wrong with this world: parents LOVE to complain about teachers, but secretly, the parents don’t give a shit about their kids’ academics. They are more concerned about their kids’ hair. We teachers try hard to instill attributes such as good writing skills, self-love, etc., but the parents get in the way by NOT supporting academics (yet still blaming both teachers and kids when said skill is sub-par), and ACTIVELY supporting fairly useless “skills” such as beauty and sports, etc.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #95.1   The Elf

      Yes, because it is an either-or. I mean, it would be impossible to care about both nice-looking hair AND grades. I just don’t have that kind of capacity to care about more than one thing in my entire life at a time.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #95.2   Poltergeist

      You can always tell the best students from the worst students by looking at their hair. The valedictorian always has the worst split ends.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 2:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #95.3   Homo Erectus

      Penis people are amazed that Susie can glean so much about this girl’s parents from one brief note she wrote.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 9:40 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #96   JustAWife

    #39 Are you seriously saying that in the last 20 years you haven’t managed to grow your hair out? Any reasonably priced salon should be able to help you find products that will help you manage most hair conditions, unless you’re saying that, by cutting your already dead hair, your hair follicles were so traumatized that they stopped producing hair??

    Jan 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #97   RavenMcCoy

    This is something I actually might have written. I was precocious and VERY over-dramatic (like our little letter writer here) with long, curly, IMPOSSIBLE hair that my parents were always trying to get me to cut.

    They succeeded when I was 8, dragging me to SuperCuts where a nutjob butchered my locks and left me with a disaster that no amount of tears could fix. I literally cut my own split ends off myself from then on, until last year (yes, I’m 25) I found a salon specializing in curly hair. They are the only people allowed to touch it.

    You don’t fuck with a girl’s hair. I had nightmares my whole childhood of my mother cackling evilly while she shaved my head. The poor dear. Leave her be.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #98   uncreative

    Brillig, and you obviously have a very limited view of the world. You expect everyone to be like you.

    But how would you feel if your body were altered against your wishes? Maybe hair isn’t what matters to you, but there are probably some aspects of your body that do. What if you suddenly gained a bunch of weight, for example? That would be a body modification too, and also potentially a temporary one. Let’s say it wasn’t at all harmful to your health, but it just made you look different. Would you say, it’s just body shape – who cares? Or what if you had to have a mastectomy? We’ll assume you’re done with all breast-feeding you ever intend to do. If so, it’s just a useless breast, so why should you care? Probably you would, because it’s part of your image of your body.

    The only difference with hair is that the pain may be temporary. I felt better once the hair regrew. But why make a child suffer for months while the hair is regrowing?

    And until you have to stare into a mirror and see a stranger looking back at you and know the horrible uncomfortableness of watching someone who isn’t you mirroring your actions and knowing you won’t see yourself in the mirror for a long time, you are in no position to judge.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #98.1   Jessi

      Did you just compare getting a haircut with getting a mastectomy? Once again, find a mental health professional, and get yourself some help.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 1:07 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #98.2   Homo Erectus

      Penis people think some commenters here need to get a grip.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #98.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      A grip on Penis people…

      Jan 17, 2012 at 7:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #99   Starfish

    The note poster said “trim” which could be as much for the health of the hair if anything. When I was a kid – I refused to care for my hair, but also wanted it long – and it ended up needing to be cut anyway, because I got a knot in it so bad there was no other solution. Getting a trim now might solve even more serious tears later.

    And- Wow – really guys, are we really comparing hair cuts to rape? Really? So – should you not force kids to bathe either, or wipe their butts if they don’t want to?

    Though – as I’m also in Milwaukee, which seems to be the mullet capital of America, so maybe she’s just trying to fit in.

    Also – Uncreative, I’m really glad you have an Orlando thing going on, and wouldn’t mind waking up a guy if you had Fabio hair, but honestly – that sounds like something that requires therapy/counseling if the entire center of your understanding of self is in your hair. Not that I don’t sympathize, as someone who has suffered terrible hair loss due to a medical condition, and was depressed about it for some time, but honestly – you are more than the sum total of your coif.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #99.1   KentGirl bang

      Can I dub thee the one and only voice of reason in this comment section? *worships*

      You deserve a hundred thumbs-ups.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #100   Kathleen

    I had butt length hair, went for a “trim” and lost about a foot. I was really upset at the time. But, two months later I was diagnosed with cancer and now what’s left of my hair is falling out due to chemotherapy.

    It’s only hair, people.

    As my dad used to say, “What’s the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut? Six weeks.”

    Jan 7, 2012 at 12:25 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #101   Spooky

    I read through all these posts debating whether the kid should have to get her hair cut or not (my opinion: pick your battles; it’s not hurting her or others) and whether the buckets look like penises (yep, but that was not her intent), and all I could really focus on was how un-dramatic this “dramatic” note is.

    Here at our house, with 13-year old twins who’ve been drama queens since birth, we call this kind of note a “Tuesday.”

    Jan 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #102   JMixx

    When I was a kid, it wasn’t having short hair that was traumatic; it was the “good-natured kidding” of the family friend who used to call me “that little boy” because of my short hair. In case there is any doubt, he was perfectly aware that I was a girl, but, for some reason, thought that calling me a boy was endlessly hilarious. For a 5- or 6-year-old, the impotent fury of having to smile and be polite every time he said it made it memorable.

    My mother didn’t want to have to brush and comb long, tangled, fine hair either. She made me a deal: continue to have it cut short, or braid it every day so that it wouldn’t tangle. Needless to say, I wore braids.

    Jan 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #103   fibrowitch

    Young lady you have stolen my heart. I am 52 and when I was young I was not allowed to have my hair the way I liked it either.

    Jan 7, 2012 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #104   Elfy

    Okay, after reading through all this, I want to say, yes, comparing haircuts to rape and mastectomies is pretty not-ok.

    HOWEVER, I completely understand what Uncreative is saying. I’ve had long hair past my butt my whole life, except for those few weeks each year that it’s shorter because it’s been trimmed for its health. My hair length is very, VERY much a part of my concept of self, and though it’s never been drastically cut, even experimenting with hairdos that gave the illusion of short hair freaked me out really badly.

    I do not have body dysphoria, but I do know what it means to change an aspect of yourself that others would not consider a big deal and see a complete stranger in the mirror, an alien making a puppet your body. Just because hair isn’t a big deal to everyone doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal to us. She is not mentally unstable for admitting that a huge part of her self image revolves around that just like mine does.

    Back to the actual post: I would have to be given the full context to have a complete opinion on whether or not this is a child asserting her rights to her own body vs. a child rebelling against well needed maintenance. It doesn’t mean I don’t find people who are more than willing to shear off their children’s hair for their own convenience without offering any compromise frightening and disempowering.

    Jan 8, 2012 at 2:56 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #104.1   Jessi

      No, but she is mentally unstable for comparing a haircut to a mastectomy. If you’re young and healthy, hair grows back. If you have to suffer a mastectomy, those don’t grow back.

      I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a judgmental bitch, but I was taught that outside appearances are nice, but it’s what’s inside that actually matters. I was taught that, while it’s important to be physically healthy and exercise for at least a half an hour a day, accepting yourself for who you are (regardless of what you look like physically) is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

      For instance, I worry about what Uncreative may do to herself if she has to undergo chemo and loses all of her hair. And then it grows back different (as sometimes happens).

      Jan 10, 2012 at 2:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #104.2   Elfy

      I’d hesitate still to call her “mentally unstable” and just say that the comparison goes a bit beyond the pale on her part.

      I don’t mean to insist that physical appearance should in any way take precedence over your personality traits and other such internal qualities. Just that for some people, there are very specific things about the way their body is composed that help them identify who they are.

      I consider the choice to keep my hair long part of my personality. If it got cut off, it would honestly feel like I had lost a limb. I know that sounds drastic, but that’s just how I feel. I wouldn’t kill myself or anything, but I would mourn until it grew back.

      For many people, the physical trait = identity thing is also one of the ways that we assert control over our bodies. Maintaining this physical trait of mine is one of the ways I exercise my bodily agency. I understand your perspective, I’m just trying to share mine as well. Thank you for responding, either way.

      Jan 15, 2012 at 12:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #105   Andrea

    aside from the content of this letter, why us this letter now being circulated on the Internet? What motive does “Julie” have in publishing this letter on any type of public forum?????

    Jan 8, 2012 at 9:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #105.1   The Elf

      For her and our amusement, of course.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 8:25 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #106   Jami

    Geez, all these “my mom forced me to cut my hair” stories.

    When I was a little girl I kept begging to GET my hair cut. I had hair all the way down to my butt. Mom would wash, comb, and dry it. I hated bath time because it meant I got no privacy.

    Not only was it long, it was thick. I had horrible headaches every single day from all that heavy hair.

    Finally, in 5th grade my mom gave in and I got it cut to shoulder length. I was so happy. Not only were my headaches gone, but I finally got to wash my hair by myself. No more mom busting in during bath time to wash it!

    Anyway, unless you’re doing something like selling your child into prostitution or tattooing them, until they’re 18, parents have every right to say what is done to a child. Including their hair. So Team Mom. Make her go. If she throws a fit tell her she’s grounded. If she still acts up do what my parents would’ve done at that point, put her across your knee, and spank her. Spanking should always be a LAST RESORT. Use other punishments first. But if she is going to continue to be a brat – well, bratty kids get spanked. That’s how I was raised, that’s how my parents were raised, etc. It’s been a good way to raise kids for hundreds of years and it’s still a good way when nothing else works.

    Jan 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #106.1   Lil'

      You had headaches every single day as a child simply b/c your mother preferred your hair long? Wow. You have inspired me to call my mom today and thank her for not being so selfish.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 1:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #107   Goldie

    Helicopter parents are so cute. They think they’re doing their kids a favor by telling them what to wear, what to do with their hair, otherwise micromanaging every little detail of their kids’ lives till the kids are 18. Then when the kids leave home and no longer have Mom and Dad telling them what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep, and when to breathe, they either go completely apeshit wild and do all the things they were never allowed to do — including some very dangerous and stupid ones — or they find someone else that would control their life for them and tell them what to do, since Mom and Dad aren’t around to do it for them any longer. Could be a middle-aged husband, could be a nice married man with lots of money to spend who gets a kick out of keeping an 18yo mistress, could be a cult leader, could be a crime leader… pretty fun huh?

    God, FSM, Mother Nature, whoever the deity of your choice is, gave your children a brain. Teach them to use it to make their own decisions. You’ll be glad you did.

    Jan 9, 2012 at 9:27 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #107.1   Poltergeist

      And you deduced that these are overbearing parents because…you saw a note written by their 9 year old daughter complaining about them? I wished I had your insight.

      My mother must have been one of them helicopter parents too. She insisted, against my will, that I have my fingernails clipped once they got long and dirty. Fingernails are made out of the same stuff as hair donchaknow? She should have also let me eat whatever teeth-rotting candy I wanted after 9 pm and not brush afterwards. I mean, they’re my teeth, right? How dare she! It’s because of these poor parental choices that I cannot dress myself, constantly binge drink myself into a stupor, and am in a relationship with a parasite. Gosh, some people were just never cut out to be parents.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 11:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #107.2   Goldie

      I have no problem with the parents that sent the note in. At least they have the sense of humor. (you wouldn’t know what that is — you don’t have it — google it.) Some of the commenters however, sound like they’re on crack.

      With that said, if any of my kids insisted on (oddly) not trimming their nails, I wouldn’t wage an all-out war over it. The ugly overgrown, broken nails would be punishment enough. Or, after a few failed attempts, the kid would learn take proper care of his or her own nails, which is also fine by me. Pick your battles.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #107.3   Poltergeist

      Hmm, I dunno about that. I found my previous post to be more humorous than yours, but I guess I’m biased.

      God forbid a parent wants their child to look somewhat presentable. I’ve seen plenty of children who end up going to school with dirty fingernails, dirty clothes, ratty hair, and smelly breath. It’s gross, and don’t tell me that those parents are simply “picking their battles.”

      Jan 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #107.4   The Elf

      Kids gotta grow up and start making decisions and taking responsibility of themselves sometime. You don’t just wake up one day and have magically become an adult. Personal hygiene and grooming is a good way to ease that along because failure is pretty harmless. Unless the kid is getting really nasty, a bit of dirt or a snarl in the hair is just ugly. They might get teased and that’s not the end of the world either. (And will probably be a more effective prod than Mom’s nagging.) There will probably be some rough patches along the way – dirty clothes, ratty hair, etc – but the kid will likely figure it out sooner rather than later.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #107.5   Poltergeist

      I completely agree that parents should teach their young children how to make decisions for themselves. At the same time, however, it could take quite a few years before a child starts caring enough about certain things. Age 4-9 is a time when plenty of kids just don’t give a damn about anything but getting their own way, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with mom or dad setting some rules in the meantime while the child is still in the process of learning reasonable decision making. As you said, you can’t just jump into things.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #107.6   Carmen

      Wow, Poltergeist. I just read through this comment section, and this is actually your first post in this thread where you sound like a decent human being. Hmm. Who knew? What am I saying…I’m sure it will pass. Either way, I agree with you here.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 2:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #107.7   Poltergeist

      Isn’t it weird to think that the majority of the time, those who are poking fun at silly things on the internet are actually decent people? Who knew? Just goes to show that you can’t judge a book by its incredibly handsome and witty cover.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 10:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #107.8   Carmen

      I guess that all depends on what you consider decent, or witty for that matter.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 7:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #107.9   Homo Erectus

      Penis people wonder where in the world you are, Ms. Sandiego.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 9:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #108   someone who knows what he likes

    The heart is well-drawn with obvious attention to detail; effort has been made to represent how the two halves of the artist’s brutally fragmented cardiac organ would interlock once more if pushed back together, presumably in the process of the audience doing what she wants. However, the penmanship (pencilmanship? pencilwomanship?) is sloppy and the buckets are poorly rendered and, hence, lack the evocative power of the heart. In the end, though, the work is redeemed by the creator’s obvious comprehension of the proper use of apostrophes, and by the exquisite skill of its emotive manipulation. A powerful work.

    Jan 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #108.1   Poltergeist

      Do you think MOMA would be interested in acquiring this piece?

      Jan 10, 2012 at 7:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #109   Lisap

    This is a “keep and drag out at the wedding” note if I ever did see one.

    Jan 9, 2012 at 10:06 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #109.1   The Elf

      Especially if the bride sports a lovely short ‘do.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 7:30 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #109.2   Palomon

      Bet there’ll be two brides.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 2:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #110   Nick

    My wife’s grandmother forced her to cut her hair when she was a child due to so-called religious reasons. The experience was very traumatic for her and although it might seem like a small thing, her hair was nearly three feet long at the time and was cut to length of roughly 3 inches. She endured a lot of teasing at school about it and continues to colour her relationship with her grandmother, along with said religious intolerance.

    Jan 10, 2012 at 6:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #111   Auntie

    For the “haircut self-determination party”, letting a kid decide on her haircut totally depends on the kid. I have three nieces, one has had long hair since she was seven, with an agreement with her mom that she did all washing/combing/braiding (her mom was in grad school working two jobs and there’s two younger sibs, no time for extras). Niece 1 has kept up her end of the deal and thus, long hair. Niece 2 is the original “messy bessy”- no personal hygiene standards whatsoever and would go about looking (and smelling) like “pigpen” from peanuts without constant adult supervision.
    She has a super-thick mop of hair, and another mom with no time to hound her about it and face the mass of tangles that her daughter would cheerfully walk about in her hair (of Rastafarian proportions, seriously.). This kid would LIKE longer hair, but for her, chin-length haircuts are mandatory because she won’t care for it. So I’m guessing the mom made a situation-based judgment call. Pretty funny note though!

    Jan 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #112   JC

    Pretty interesting that a 9-year old uses cursive g’s while writing. Hmm.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 10:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #113   lily

    I feel or her, my mom was a total nazi about my hair. MOM I DID NOT LOOK CUTE WITH A BOB!

    Jan 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #113.1   Jessi

      A Nazi? Really?

      I want a concentration camp survivor to read this, track you down and punch you in the face.

      Jan 16, 2012 at 2:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #113.2   Elly

      “Nazi” is a very common descriptor for extreme/unreasonable strictness. I doubt Lily meant to be offensive. Lighten up.

      Jan 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #113.3   lily

      Elly’s right there,and also if a concentration camp survivor could punch anyone in the face , do you think it would be me,a random person on the Internet using a common analogy?

      Jan 17, 2012 at 6:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #114   lily

    I just read all these comments and i cant believe how many parents hate their children enough to chop off their hair,let alone not let them make their own decisions till they’re 18! Call CPS ! Jesus… that is a horrid thing to go through, ( i had to)regardless of the circumstances, i don’t care if your kids hair is a rats nest, they choose what they do with that rats nest (until its a biohazard of course) . I am comforted to know that all of you will be alone when your kids wont have to deal with your crap. If you really need to make those silly rules about your kids hair , then get a life.

    Jan 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #114.1   Jessi

      @Lily, apparently one of your “choices” was to sleep through English.

      Parents who make their kids get a haircut hate their children? That’s an insane comment. By the way, some school districts (like the one I was in) have strict dress codes and neat/tidy hair is a part of said dress code.

      “i don’t care if your kids hair is a rats nest, they choose what they do with that rats nest”

      Does the same thing apply to their teeth? What about their nails? How about bathing? Where do you draw the line? You joke about CPS, but I guarantee that if someone from CPS saw an extremely unkempt child, they’d start an investigation. “Neglect” is the same thing as “abuse”.

      Jan 16, 2012 at 2:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #115   lily

    sorry everyone,for the bold response , and I do agree with you , to an extent , if my parents hadnt controlled how i brushed my teeth, they’d have fallen out already , I was more referring to older children, but i didn’t clarify that and yes nazi is a strong word , i apologize for that comment as well

    Jan 16, 2012 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #116   lily

    I know i sound like a hypocrite for saying this , but can we all calm down, this is a cute note a child wrote , let it be.

    Jan 16, 2012 at 11:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #117   CoinOperatedJoy bang

    Wow, some of the responding parents in these comments are just down right a–holes. There has to be some kind of balance in parenting. It isn’t all about winning. You’re not fighting an enemy here, you’re raising children! YOUR children! Yanno, that you love? Remember?

    When I was 4, a neighbor girl gave me lice. My mom cut off all my hair and the neighbor kids called me a “chinese boy”. Yeah, I was 4 and remember. It hurt me. All my young life my mom kept cutting my hair short (God and the perms! UGH!) and I was teased. Never the way I liked or wanted it.

    I HATE having short hair. I look like a short, fat turd with short hair.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 9:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #117.1   Starfish

      To be fair and honest, the person you should be upset with there for your original trauma is the neighbor’s kid and/or their parents who let their kid run around infecting others with lice.

      And speaking from personal experience with bad parental haircut, half-perm mullet horrors, honestly – life goes on. And the self-depreciating comment just gives more credence to my idea that folks in the “OMG Hair Trauma” need to talk to someone about body image/self-esteem issues. Or just latent family/parental anger. I don’t know – something.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 11:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #117.2   CoinOperatedJoy bang

      Per-mullet, represent. Yes, I have those photos to forever remember. Or better yet, to NEVAR FORGET. Anyway…

      Instead of seeking out professional help in the future (which I have, but thank you), I’d rather my children not have to.

      I mean, surrrre, I do things my kids don’t like either, but hair? Hair is not a battle worth fighting when there’s more important parenting issues such as, oh, say, homework. Or a million other way more important things parents have to deal with/worry about.

      I’m more than happy to let my children decide how they want to look. Or at the very least (depending on age), have a say or choice in it. Who knows, it might just help them evolve into people who ARE secure in themselves as adults who DON’T have “silly” hair hang ups, because why? It wasn’t a big deal.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #117.3   Lily

      There are different says of dealing with lice,chopping the hair off is not a good solution . I think if everyone kept the hair clean there would be no lice to deal with in the first place. Being made fun of for a haircut you were forced into is rather traumatic.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 9:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #117.4   CoinOperatedJoy bang

      It was traumatic, but as a whole memory, not just the loss of hair. I had thick hair and those lice combs are teeny and hurt like a mofo. So, cut off the hair, then treat it. ugh. *takes that back to the dark storage bin*

      When I gained control of my own hair, I went buck wild. It’s been every color of the rainbow. lol I’ve since settled on red, as red as one can be without sporting a clown wig, and a blonde face frame.

      I cut my hair constantly. I never go have it done. I had it messed up really bad when I was pregnant with my 2nd kid and cried for 3 days. lol

      I feel like I just can’t trust other people with my hair. Even if *I* mess it up. It’s ok and I’m going to rock it no matter what. I’ve given myself drunk hair cuts that have ended up in a signature styles that lasted years. (shaved the sides bald, leaving the rest of my hair and bettie bangs)

      Now that I’ve let the sides and bangs grow out, I still cut it weird. I like it a certain way and that’s just that. My hair, the cut, the color, the style are all very important to me and how I identify with the person in the mirror. My body image is a whole ‘nother issue.

      If one of my children wrote me a note like this, we’d have a talk about the dramatics, but the hair would stay. She has spunk and knows what she wants and what’s important to her. She’s 9! Good for her!

      My oldest son is 15. He used to always want his hair cut like G.I. Joe. For years. I used to beg him to get a mohawk instead, to which he’d argue “I’m just not like you mom, ok?” Ok, rebel with a buzz cut, it’s your head. (oh hey and no lice!)

      Now? You should see that boy head bang. hahaha My little Nathan Explosion. He started growing out his hair in 5th grade. He asked me if he had to get his hair cut when Grampa said so. (that’s who would take him..blahblah) I told him no, I’m his mom and say no hair cut, it’s his head and he says no hair cut. It’s gorgeous. It’s shaved underneath due to an accident with poor hair care, but I turned it into a hair style that is unique to him and he’s kept for year. The top is long and always in a pony tail. I had to teach him how to take care of it and now he does. The end. lol

      Now, the 9 y/o son is more…business casual? LOL He likes it short, but still kind of long. He washes it, brushes it and stuff. It’s not like I still bathe him, he’s 9! lol

      My 3 y/o daughter has curly hair. Once in awhile I’ll trim her ends or bangs when she’s in the bath. It doesn’t freak her out and I’ve been doing it since she’s been getting crap stuck in it. Plus, she’s watched me cut my own hair a thousand times. No big deal, just part of a bath and mommy does it too! (scissors are out of reach…blahblah)

      She’s also learning how to brush her own hair. It’s long and sooo pretty. We take turns brushing each others hair. (OUCH!) but she’s learning! She even tried to wash her own hair (supervised…blahblah). I don’t see how a 9 year old that cared this much about her hair shouldn’t get a say.

      sup long?

      Jan 24, 2012 at 11:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #118   Mac

    See, “trim” is parenting code for “we’re going to lop off as much as we want” or perhaps just hairdresser code for “well 6 inches is a ‘trim’ right?” (because I’ve had hairdressers do wretched things to my hair too)

    Being an independent child capable of taking care of her hair with a dream of having it waist long, I resented that hairdresser forever about that “little trim”. My hair takes FOREVER to grow. The girl should have her say. It’s her hair and her body.

    Feb 13, 2012 at 3:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #119   mj15

    this child is NINE, not five. she is absolutely perfectly capable of taking care of her own hair and making her own decisions about how long (or short) she wants it.

    to the people arguing that “if you let her decide how to wear her hair why don’t you just allow her to refuse to bathe” etc…. seriously?

    If it doesn’t negatively affect the child’s health or offend those around them (like not bathing, smelling badly, refusing to wear any clothing at all) then WHY THE HELL NOT let them have long hair, or wear clothing they like, etc? Its not your hair. I just don’t see why a parent wouldn’t take what their child wants into consideration, especially if she’s NINE. Being a parent is hard enough – pick your battles. Kids are human beings with their own opinions and likes and dislikes, whether you like it or not. The key is balance – as someone said before, the only options are not “militant bitch” or “doormat”.

    Here’s a hint: If your only rationale behind NOT letting them do it is because you don’t like it personally or “because i’m your parent and i said so”, then you’re probably the one being unreasonable.

    Feb 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up


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