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The parenthetical smiley says it all

January 5th, 2012 · 60 comments

Writes our submitter in Dallas: “My ex-roommate is possibly THE most passive-aggressive person I’ve ever met. We’ve reconciled, mostly, but we still have our moments. For example, just after Christmas, she was going out of town and wanted me to look after her cat. She used the same e-mail as an opportunity to say thank you for the Christmas gift my girlfriend and I gave her.

Thanks to you both for the bag; it was lovely. (Might want to get the clearance tag all the way off though first, next time. :) )

related: Thanks for saving me the trouble of writing a thank you note!

FILED UNDER: mean girls · smiley · thanks (but not really)

60 responses so far ↓

  • #1   fuzzbutt

    HEY, appreciate a sale beeoyth

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:31 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Nick


      Jan 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #2   S.A.

    I say next time, have the cat that a ‘hot one’ in the bag first.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jessi


      Jan 8, 2012 at 4:15 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #3   jay

    next time I would just wrap up pictures of gifts and mention that I was going to buy them but they were not on clearance

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:32 pm   rating: 113  small thumbs up

  • #4   Suzie

    Makes me want to shove that clearance priced item right up her ass.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:39 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Graham

      I’d put a clearance sticker on the cat and wrap up the litter tray.

      Jan 9, 2012 at 7:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #5   Maddy

    A sort of back handed compliment.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #6   Danielle

    It is bad enough that she is tacky enough to mention the tags on the gift, but that she also thought that an EMAIL (and one in which she was also asking for a favor) was the appropriate way to do a thank you note. Some people.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:46 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Jessi

      I actually prefer the e-mail thank-you note more than the snail-mail thank-you note. In an e-mail, a person can say so much more than they can in a regular card, and I don’t feel as bad deleting e-mails as I do throwing away actual cards.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 4:20 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Nora

      Do you seriously send an actual by-post thank you note for every Christmas present you get? For birthdays too? If so, I salute you. I did that for my wedding presents, but for everything else I either thank them in person, by e-mail or phone.

      Jan 15, 2012 at 5:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Stacy

      Any gift that is given to you without the gifter present (by mail or though another person) should get a hand written, mailed by USPS thank-you note–including gift certificates send via email. Any gift for a baby or wedding should get one, even if they give it to you in person, as these are special occasions that happen only a few times in someone’s life.
      I am still amazed how this is not common practice anymore. I’ve been to two baby showers and a wedding recently and given presents and have heard nothing on the gift and how it was used and appreciated. At the very least, it would be nice to know they were received. You wonder if they don’t send anything, and it’s good manners.

      Jan 23, 2012 at 10:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #7   snee

    We’re so glad you liked the gift. (Might want to pull your head right out of your ass next time. :D)

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:55 pm   rating: 67  small thumbs up

  • #8   Jared Morgan

    “The reason you have a bag in the first place is because it was on clearance. Would certainly not have paid full price for anything relating to you” is the only polite answer I can come up with for that email. Sorry.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:57 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   KatieMB bang

      Yessh, I was thinking the clearance sale tag was purposefully left on the gift to ensure the receiver knew just what the givers thought of her.

      Jan 7, 2012 at 8:56 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Redheadwglasses

      Because what the item costs is what matters, KatieMB? My friends and I will purposely leave clearance tags on gifts. “I love that you got this for only $8! Where’s it from?”

      Jan 10, 2012 at 12:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #9   Heather

    I love how she says it ‘was’ lovely. What did she do? Trash it? Donate it? Re-gift it?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 8:58 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Poltergeist

      I like to think she went into a blind rage and destroyed the poor bag only minutes before she sat down to type this out. I mean, why else would she put a smiley face in the e-mail if not to mask her insanity?

      Jan 7, 2012 at 6:15 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #10   jdaniel

    As much as I want to see her eyes bulge out as I squeeze her neck, I am not so sure it is all her fault. I find these types of poor-taste and crass notes are related to poor parenting. Perhaps a cold “Let’s just say we did consider you at Christmas, and leave it at that….. bitch.”

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:06 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #11   unsatisfied

    is it my failing eyesight…..or, does the date of that email indicate that it’s from over 4 years ago?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:23 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Becky Jean

      You know what’s passive aggressive? Saving this note for four years before sending it to PA notes.

      Jan 8, 2012 at 10:06 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #12   Mushroom

    I got a wedding gift from my godparents, a silver-rimmed punchbowl with tools. The edge and tools were tarnished, and, most interestingly, the original giftcard from whomever gave it to them was still in the box.

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

  • #13   beth

    Why do u give a gift to a Meanie?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Melissa

      I hope they dropped that bitch!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   pik

    that is a very good point… what’s up with that? (though it’s still funny7!)

    Jan 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   makfan bang

    Scoop the catbox into it?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   Palomon

    Anyone know what’s wrong with the gigglebrax loom?

    Jan 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #17   Shesajem

    My reply: your welcome! Still waiting for our gift when your ready ;P

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #18   Poltergeist

    The question that was implied here – “Is that all I’m worth to you?”

    The replying e-mail should have simply read “Yes and No.” She’d be up all night trying to figure out that it means, “Yes, that’s all you’re worth to me as you can plainly see by my intentional leaving of the tag on your $7 bag, and no, I will not look after Pussy Willow Smith.”

    Jan 6, 2012 at 2:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #19   pillowpants

    Hi PAN,
    Thanks for the post; it was hilarious. (Might want to censor the date too, next time. :))

    Jan 6, 2012 at 6:06 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #20   Lil'

    Seems like the ungrateful roommate has princess syndrome. Money is tight, and people shop on budgets. With her personality, she should be thankful to get anything at all.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 8:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #21   causeIcan

    What an ungrateful b!tch.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 9:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #22   aliceblue

    1. I was taught that it is polite to ignore any prices someone accidentally for got to remove from gifts, guess this bitch ‘ain’t got no couth’; and 2. Is it a nice gift? Personally, if a gift is something I like, it is even better if a friend can get a good deal (to me, sales are like 12-point (right term?) bucks to hunters. ) If it is crap (Lily Pulitizer anyone?) it’s crap no matter what the price.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 11:12 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Nahhh bang

      In my circle, as well, if you get a super-fantastic-kickass deal on a gift, you’re obligated to brag about it. The recipient feels honored to possess such a trophy.

      Sometimes you just have to leave the tag on in case someone claims “pics or it didn’t happen.”

      Jan 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   vstorevigilante

      @Nahhh! It’s like those commercials… for what store, the name escapes me, where friends are doing a gift exchange and someone receives a nice vase or something, and the friend is like, “Er, I thought we had a $20 limit.” And the gift-giver is all, “WE DID :)!”

      Jan 7, 2012 at 3:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #23   aliceblue

    I agree. I have 2 cats and would consider it a great gift if someone would do litter box duty & feed them when I wanted to travel. Anything extra is really nice. What a twatwaffle.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 11:26 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #24   Quite Contrary

    Next time? You think there is going to be a next time?

    Jan 6, 2012 at 12:30 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #25   thrall

    And the date matters because….?

    Jan 6, 2012 at 1:24 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #26   OoogaBooga

    This is just like my grandmother… we bought her a beautiful, incredibly soft cashmere cardigan for Christmas, and she makes a comment about how it must have come from a discount store like Primark, because it isn’t very soft. It was £80 from a nice department store. She is a working class woman from Glasgow, and acts like the bloody queen!
    Just say “thank you” and smile when you receive a gift.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 4:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Nora

      Wow! Saying something “must be from Primark” is a pretty serious insult, considering everything I’ve bought from there has fallen apart within weeks of buying it. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson after the first few times, but I am always lured in by the unbelievable prices.

      Jan 15, 2012 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #27   pegolasgreenleaf

    Glad you liked it – it’ll be the last gift you’ll ever get from us! :-)

    Jan 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #28   angie

    My coworker gave me a very nice scarf and mitten set for Christmas along with some lotion, to thank me for all the things I do for her (she works outside the office, so I often email her things from our internal network (no VPN, don’t ask) and she happened to leave the price tag on the set, which I see she got on clearance for $3.

    It’s BEAUTIFUL. Who cares that she bought it at the end of last winter on clearance? It was kind of her to even think to give me a gift.

    Jan 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

  • #29   Ugly Truth News

    That actually happened to me…by my wife!

    Jan 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Luna (the other one)

      Truth, at my house that would be grounds for divorce! My husband is delighted when I find stuff on sale and my favorite gift he ever bought me was some Peeps that he saw on sale and thought of me. When did everyone get so materialistic?

      Jan 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #29.2   Nahhh bang

      I mentioned during Christmas that I missed candycanes the rest of the year, and that those “starlight mints” just were not the same.

      The day after Christmas my husband brought me a grocery sack FULL of boxes of tiny, individually wrapped candycanes. The sweetest part was just how utterly proud he was to tell me he’d bought them for 1/10 their regular price.

      Jan 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #29.3   Jessi

      Wow, you seem to have found a great guy. Yet, if he ever shaves his beard (and/or loses it to extraordinary events) you can’t even touch him. What a loving relationship you’re in.

      Nahhh! said, ” My husband has long hair (below his shoulder blades) and a full beard and mustache. One day over 20 years ago, while relighting the furnace, he was almost totally de-furred by a flaming gas-ball. Luckily, his skin wasn’t burned, but his hair had to be cut militarily short. I cried a lot over his beautiful hair; I could not kiss or even touch his naked, hairless face. I just couldn’t. It wasn’t HIM.

      His hair and beard have long since grown back — even fuller — but I still sometimes have nightmares about the incident, even though much, much worse things have happened since.”

      Jan 8, 2012 at 4:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.4   vstorevigilante

      ^ ?

      Jan 8, 2012 at 9:02 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #29.5   Poltergeist

      Watch out Nahhh, I’ll be over to steal your husband away from you sometime within the coming month. Depends on my schedule.

      Does he prefer wine or beer? I know a place where I can get a discount on both if I buy in bulk. I’ll show him the receipt, and it’ll be love at first sight!

      Jan 9, 2012 at 4:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #29.6   Lucy

      @Jessi – and your point is?

      PS Who honestly has the time to trawl through past comments to copy and paste them and make to try and make skewed points?

      Jan 12, 2012 at 1:22 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #30   Hanako Harper

    What a douche. I got a bag of skittles from a friend this year. They were my favorite kind too. I ate them with pleasure and gave him a Babe Ruth bar. We are poor college students, I gave everyone a little snack or treat or a short story I wrote. They laughed, enjoyed their food and went on with their lives. Everyone said thank you.

    Jan 7, 2012 at 12:23 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #31


    Jan 7, 2012 at 5:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Dr. Frank Knight

    “Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”

    Aldous Huxley

    Jan 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #33   vstorevigilante

    There’s a chance that even on clearance, it was still a pricey gift. Not that it would matter one bit to a Decent Human Being, but if how much they spent was really such an issue, note-writer should’ve taken that into account. I’m cheap, so my idea of “clearance” is $20 or less (though you can bet I’d be happy with any gift I actually enjoyed, even if it cost a dollar), but “clearance” could mean 80 bucks, or something, in this case. She’s a bitch; end of story.

    Jan 7, 2012 at 3:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #34   sparkle

    This IS passive aggressive, but it depends on the situation– If the note-writer is making a joke, it’s still annoying, but if the note-writer very personally offended by the horrible fact that her roommate bought her/him something *gasp* inexpensive, then the note-writer must be slain.

    -___- I apologize for my run-on sentence.

    Jan 8, 2012 at 12:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #35   Eileen

    Times are hard. People can’t afford to buy gifts anymore unless they’re on sale. If it’s a nice bag, who cares how much it cost? Be gracious and say thank you.

    Jan 9, 2012 at 7:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #36   vix

    I once got some bodyshop lotion for Christmas. I was so excited till I realized there was no plastic seal – and when I opened it, there was hair in it. It was very awkward.

    Jan 11, 2012 at 2:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Sami

      That is bad, ew.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 1:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #37   Miles

    Getting impatient for more. Is this blog dead? Been a week an no update. Time to remove from mother site.

    Jan 11, 2012 at 10:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   FeRD bang

      Awww, we’ll miss your invaliable contributions.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #38   WhoreCruxzz

    I dunno, maybe Im alone on this but Im with the Cat Lady. She got them to watch her cat AND she got a free bag. Sounds like a win to me. The guy must be a huge pushover…quit ur b#tchin

    Jan 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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