Karma Police

January 12th, 2012 · 55 comments

This is what you get when you mess with us:

If you "attempt" to throw something away & miss or if the trashcan is already full & you pile it on top, or if the bag has fallen in & you don't fit it & just add your disgusting garbage to it, then WE HATE YOU! Don't worry about who "WE" are, just worry about cleaning up after yourself. IT IS BAD KARMA to leave your trash lying around!!! <3 the karma police have a nice day! :)

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

SODA in H2O cups is BAD KARMA

Please help prevent bad karma: DO NOT flush feminine hygiene products.  Place in waste basket.  Thank you, Management.

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)


related: Karma’s a bitch.

FILED UNDER: Coke · garbage · have a nice day · karma's a bitch · smiley · toilet

55 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Karma Police....

    Also, your hitler hairdo is makin’ me feel ill.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 4:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Atheist Scum Unite!

      …and we have crashed her party

      Jan 13, 2012 at 8:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   sillysally

    Oh, Bad Karma is what it’s called. All this time I thought it was called overflowing toilet.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Lobalt

      Or simply stealing, in the case of the soda in the water cups.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 7:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Dr_Know

      Why are they thanking Mugmut?

      Jan 13, 2012 at 6:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Beth

    Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon…

    Jan 12, 2012 at 4:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   looney

      thanks for the earworm!

      Jan 12, 2012 at 6:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      All the single ladies…
      All the single ladies…
      Now pick your mess up…

      Jan 13, 2012 at 10:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   jetjackson

      Karma police, arrest this man.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 4:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   shwo! bang

    Bad Karma You.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 5:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Poltergeist

    I have found numerous used feminine products on the floor and in overflowed toilets before…in the men’s room. If you are the perpetrator, let me tell you what karma has in store for you – first, your lady flow will gradually become so heavy over the coming months that the ancient Egyptians experiencing the first plague would have taken one look at you and said, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” Then, out of the blue, the raging waters will subside. Why? Because by this point, I will have located your place of residence, and deceased people don’t typically menstruate.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   looney

      that is one long death threat

      Jan 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Poltergeist

      A crime of this magnitude, one so severe that it deserves the title of “Honorary Eighth Deadly Sin,” warrants a lengthy death threat.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 12:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   deprogrammed

    Karma is a bitch in (lemme look down) 4″ heels.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 6:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Quite Contrary

    If you ever do it again & I catch you & I get your name and address & I write you a letter & it’s going to be in comic sans 72 point & you will always remember that karma sucks & we hate you.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   looney

      or maybe … karmic sans 72 point?

      Jan 12, 2012 at 7:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Poltergeist

      ^This pun is what dreams are made of.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 12:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Gummi

    Okay…I was always taught to actually flush feminine hygiene products (something small like tampons) because….gross. Eww. Who wants to see that in a wastebasket?

    Jan 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Zorin

      Likewise with toilet paper… Whenever I see a sign saying not to flush toilet paper I just go “ewww” and ignore the sign. Nothing bad ever happens as a result.

      These products are designed to be flushed.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 7:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   quigrey

      and the lovely customers at my tea shop were taught to stick used maxi-pads to the wall by their sticky side…

      While those cannot be flushed, my faith in man kind is, sadly, down the drain.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 9:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Poltergeist

      Wait, you’ve actually seen a sign that reads “Do not flush the TOILET paper down the TOILET”?

      I…I…that’s it. I never thought I’d have to use this, but the time has come.

      *presses the big red button*

      See you all in hell.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 12:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   Pxmidnight

      Actually tampons shouldn’t be flushed. They are designed to expand when they get wet, and in some cases they get big enough to clog the toilet. That’s why all public ladies’ rooms need to have those lovely “plug buckets” in the stalls!

      Jan 13, 2012 at 1:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   tuqoa

      Wrap it in toilet paper first. No on expects you to dump it into the wastebasket without concealing it first. If a sign says not to flush something, don’t flush it. Some places with older plumbing simply can’t handle tampons. I’ve lived in enough older rentals to have experience in these things and paid the (plumber’s) price.

      @Zorin, you’re evil to flush. Just because nothing happens the one time *you* flush TP against the sign’s instructions, doesn’t mean anything. If the person who uses the toilet after you also ignores the sign, it could be enough to cause an overflow. Don’t be a dillweed. People don’t post these signs because it’s fun.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 8:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.6   Gummi

      Trust me, if I do flush it, it’s expanded to the max…and I’d never flush a pad, I’d always wrap those up.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 10:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.7   Redheadwglasses

      I’d ignore “don’t flush toilet paper” signs as well. That’s just STUPID to expect of people. If the toilet can’t handle toilet paper, then fix the problem. Because I’m not wiping my ass then putting the TP in the waste can.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 12:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.8   Furtive lurker

      Speaking as one who received numerous swirlies in his youth, I can attest that most toilets can handle really large things flushed down them

      Jan 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.9   Noelegy

      That’s why you wrap it in toilet tissue before you throw it away.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 1:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.10   Team Note Writer

      Time to switch to diva cups ladies. Just saying.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.11   Noelegy

      I would never want to deal with a diva cup or an Instead in a public restroom. Just sayin’. :)

      Jan 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.12   M L

      Re: not flushing toilet paper

      This isn’t really a North American thing, I don’t think? I saw signs in Greece when I was there, and it was totally normal – in fact, my friend who was traveling with me warned me in advance that this would be the case. The plumbing and sewage systems in some places can’t handle toilet paper, it’s just the way it is.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 3:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.13   Kyt

      Thats what TP is for – You wrap it. We don’t want to see Napkins in the wastebasket either because its gross. ;) However, flushing the tampon can be MORE gross because when the unsuspecting person comes in sometime after you, the toilet overflows because its clogged and then crap is all over the place. I know, I’ve had to clean up after the fool. ;)

      Jan 19, 2012 at 7:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.14   The Elf

      If you’ve ever had to replace a septic tank drain field or pipes, you’ll never flush another tampon. When I bought my house (septic, not sewer system) that was the first thing the septic pumper guy said. It averages many, many thousands of dollars to fix the system, all for one little tampon in the wrong place.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 7:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.15   The Elf

      Hey, note writer – if they get squicked out by the thought of removing a tampon and wrapping it in tp, you think they could handle a diva cup? Ha!

      Jan 19, 2012 at 7:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Clip Snark

    It seems these notes use a definition of karma that I’m not familiar with.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 7:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   carlito

    I’ve never understood why it’s so hard for people to write out “management”.

    Jan 12, 2012 at 9:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   shwo! bang

      Because they’re in management.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   quigrey

      they wish they were cool enough to be apart of MGMT

      Jan 12, 2012 at 9:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Wandering skeptic

      Agreed– ppl R so f-n’ la-z.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 12:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   MGMT

      It’s because they can’t spell management.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 9:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Sensible Madness bang

    I once rescued a basket full of kittens from a burning building. I’ve been trying to burn off all the excess karma from that ever since by leaving my trash around, using water cups for soda, and flushing tampons down the toilet (and I’m not even a girl!). It’s all about restoring balance to the Universe.

    Jan 13, 2012 at 8:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Lily

    The way the “K” is written in the second note is kind of driving me crazy. *Wishes I could write a passive-aggressive rebuttal note that says, “Write your ‘K’ properly or no one will take you seriously!”* which I’m sure would invite a series of passive-aggressive notes about how to write the letter K.

    Jan 13, 2012 at 9:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Wandering skeptic

    The writer of sign #2 is unrealistically optimistic in believing that most people will understand that “H2O” is water.

    I wouldn’t assume people who steal fountain drinks are that well versed in chemical notation.

    Jan 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Melissa

      I even think they’d be confounded by the whole thing.
      When I go to McDonald’s I see an endless stream of people come in the door and refill reusable cups from a wide variety of places. They just don’t care, or some of them are homeless.

      Jan 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Noelegy

    I think the use of quotation marks for emphasis in the first note must surely be welcoming bad karma.

    Jan 13, 2012 at 1:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Heel!

    I think I’m going to name my next dog Karma. That way unleashing “bad karma” on folks would have more meaning than twilight zone music.

    Jan 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Dr. Frank Knight

      “My Karma ran over your dogma.”

      Anonymous bumper sticker

      Jan 14, 2012 at 8:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Melissa

    I was waiting for a bathroom stall at Ruby Tuesday and the pregnant woman who exited the stall with her kid had just flushed some sort of diaper product I’m not familiar with that was clearly clogging the toilet, even though there was an empty, lined trash compartment right in the stall and a full-size trash can by the sink. I really should have said something, but I was just speechless. I removed it myself with my hands because I had to go, so I transferred a large amount of karma points from her account to mine. GROSS

    Jan 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Lil'

      I would have gone in the sink “Bridesmaids” style before I put my hand in a public toilet.

      Jan 14, 2012 at 7:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Poltergeist

      Since you had already soiled your hands, you should have placed the dirty diaper in a doggy bag (preferably one of those smiling “Have A Nice Day” ones), paid one of the waiters a buck to lend you their apron for a minute, and hand-delivered the yummy treat right into her rotund lap.

      Jan 15, 2012 at 2:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   The Bandit

    Seriously, tampons and pads fuck up plumbing. Don’t do it. Whenever I go into a public restroom, I always see signs telling people NOT TO DO THIS, but there’s apparently loads of women who love to shove their feminine hygiene wads down into the sewer/septic system. I just hope their karma comes in the form of getting sprayed with fecal waste by an overloaded septic tank.

    Jan 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Noelegy

      Yes, there are signs in the ladies’ restrooms where I work, admonishing against flushing anything other than bodily waste, toilet tissue, or seat protectors. I always want to add to these signs, “Were you born in a freakin’ barn?” But that’s unnecessarily derogatory toward barn animals.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Poltergeist

    Is it neutral/good karma if I steal some Nestea or Minute Maid lemonade from the fountain? The note specifically states soda but makes no mention of the non-carbonated beverages available. What if the cup I’m illegally filling with soda was not actually meant for H2O? What if it’s an empty Coke bottle, or a coffee mug, or a dog food bowl? Specifics are muy importante!

    Jan 13, 2012 at 7:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   bookworm

    I’m not sure any of these note writers has ever actually experienced karma. Either that, or these are the biggest problems they face in their day to day lives. I want to trade lives with the note writers, please.

    Jan 14, 2012 at 11:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Anon

    I always flush tampons down the toilet, unless they have one of those special hygiene bins that gets collected regulary, but even then, those things STINK when they open (they have a sensor on them thank god) and sometimes you see other people’s residue under the lid on the slide if they haven’t wrapped their item. If there is simply a normal little bin in the cubicle, I do not use those, as the smell would eventually spread and the blood might leak through the toilet paper! Gross!

    Jan 14, 2012 at 6:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   redheadwglasses

    I worked in an office with a small bathroom right off the kitchen, and instead of a work-place type toilet, they installed a residential toilet. So not only was it getting more business than it was built for, one idiot kept flushing her MAXIPADS, resulting in numerous expensive plumbing calls.

    Who would be that stupid?

    Jan 19, 2012 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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