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Your punishment for forgetting your reusable grocery bags

January 18th, 2012 · 46 comments

Writes Kiki in Melbourne: “Have you ever seen a sack act so bitchy and sanctimonious all at once? I can’t believe a plastic bag’s attitude actually started to piss me off!”

Well, Kiki, it could be worse.

related: …and F the Polar Bear!
extra credit: I (don’t) use plastic bags.

FILED UNDER: Melbourne · recycling · The Earth · unnecessary "quotation marks"

46 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Poltergeist

    I would stockpile those and use them as my dedicated cat piss bags.

    Jan 18, 2012 at 9:50 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Pops Negral come home

      I, too, use grocery bags to scoop my cat’s piss and fecal matter into. The litter says it’s flushable but I’m not taking chances.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 4:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Seanette

      I have re-uses for both paper and plastic grocery bags (plastic are good when scooping the cat box or lining a wastebasket, paper hold recyclables or the cat can play in them, etc.), and am frankly too absent-minded to remember to get re-usable bags back from home to car to store.

      However, a store that used bags like this on me would not be seeing my business again. I’ll take my money to a competitor that can be civil to me, instead of preaching sanctimonious spew at me.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 6:22 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #2   havingfitz

    Why do I picture the bag saying this with a pronounced head roll?

    Jan 18, 2012 at 9:50 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   JayRain

      And a Z-snap.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 10:27 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #3   po

    Bag, you are made from “recycled” plastic?
    Should I take that to mean that your are made from not-really recycled plastic or what?
    The quotemarks are giving me message dissonance.

    Jan 18, 2012 at 9:51 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Palomon

      The quotation marks around “excuse me” make it sound like the bag is indicating that you, the reader, are really the one who needs to be excused.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 1:27 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   MelKuy

      Reminds me of the Simpsons:
      Newspaper editor: …And to protect Mother Earth, each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper.
      Lisa: And what percent is that?
      Newspaper editor: Zero.
      (Lisa frowns)
      Newspaper editor: Zero’s a percent.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 6:15 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   twhit

      I thought the same! I love that this picture could also be included on another favorite site of mine, The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

      Jan 23, 2012 at 7:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #4   kermit

    A bag made from other bags? What is this, some sort of bag cannibalism?

    Jan 19, 2012 at 1:08 am   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   the Internet


      Jan 19, 2012 at 10:28 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Poltergeist

      First came Frankenstein’s monster. Then came Frankenstein’s environmentally friendly bag. Rejected by civilized society, it turned to passive aggressiveness for comfort.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #5   Daniel

    Oh no you didn’t! Give him the lie detector, Maury!

    Jan 19, 2012 at 6:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #6   MavRick

    Scare quotes, anthromorphism, a salad of fonts, and unnecessary clip-art hieroglyphs. It’s a PAN masterpiece.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 8:40 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

  • #7   Karnivax

    Did this come from Whole Foods?

    Jan 19, 2012 at 8:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #8   smarticus

    Am I weird for thinking Portlandia is really not funny? No matter how many times I’ve tried watching it?

    Jan 19, 2012 at 8:51 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Cholla45

      Yes, you are weird. Portlandia is sometimes hilarious and always amusing.

      But what does that have to do with the PAN in question?

      Jan 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Stating the Obvious

      My guess is it has to do with the clip of Portlandia posted right there in the PAN.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 5:53 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #9   jetjackson

    I love the self-promotion…


    Jan 19, 2012 at 9:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #10   shwo! bang

    I just want to fill one of those snooty bags with discarded styrofoam cups and paper towels.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 9:21 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Palomon

      Don’t forget the plastic six-pack holders. Sometimes called “seagull bling.”

      Jan 19, 2012 at 8:56 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   jdaniel

      And throw it on the the back seat of my Escalade as I drive to my job at the refinery.

      Jan 21, 2012 at 11:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #11   nami

    And I’m pretty sure it took up more ink and energy than say, just printing a “Please recycle/reuse me, thanks” What an oxymoronic bag.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 9:26 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #12   kathryn

    I need paper bags (from the grocery) to put the rest of my paper recyclables in or my town’s curbside recycling program won’t take them. I need platic bags to clean out the catbox (I use the ones from the grocery so they are *re-used* and I don’t have to buy a new box of bags for this purpose). My reusable bags are sitting in a hallway closet off-gassing lead and formaldehyde. I am going to enviromental hell.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 9:33 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #13   Kevin

    That’s a lot of wasted ink for an environmentally friendly bag

    Jan 19, 2012 at 10:12 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Poltergeist

      P.S. Five “squid” were “killed” in the making of me, and “F” the “Polar Bear!”

      Jan 19, 2012 at 1:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #14   Sorcia MacNasty

    Those bags should only be used to suffocate the sanctimonious twat-canoes who came up with such insufferable baggy back-talk.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 10:21 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #15   the Internet

    No, one can’t use quotation marks for highlighting something! Not even if you’re a bag!

    Jan 19, 2012 at 10:27 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Noelegy

      I don’t know if there are any other DC VERTIGO fans here, but in the series “Preacher,” there’s a wonderful, wonderful scene (well, wonderful to English majors, anyway) in which one of the bad guys goes off on someone about using quotation marks for emphasis.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   jay

    I bought bunches of those recyclable bags. Then the store bagger filled them so full that I could barely carry them.So back to plastic, which I either use for trash or take back to the store to recycle,,duh!

    Jan 19, 2012 at 10:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   The Elf

      Huh, that’s why I like using reusable bags. Mine can hold 25 lbs, and I prefer to have the baggers stuff them as full as possible. That way, I can haul them all to the car or into the house in one go.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 7:42 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #17   meri

    At first I thought this was one of the cool/fun bags from Timbuk2… but that’s just obnoxious. At least the bags from them are witty and humorous.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #18   Lori

    You can’t win though. I was at the grocery store with my re-usable bags the other day and the teenager who was bagging (she wasn’t checking and bagging, just bagging) looked at my bags and said “Ugh, I am totally gonna kill myself if another person brings their own bags.”
    Ugh indeed.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 11:30 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   redheadwglasses

      That doesn’t even make sense to me. What does the bagger care? And I like using my own bags, because a canvas bag isn’t going to break when it’s full of cans and other heavy items, but the paper bag handles will tear off.

      Jan 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Aliceblue

      Hell, find a friends to bring in their own bags & sell tickets to the event. Not everyday one gets to see someone “totally” kill themselves with resources from a grocery store. Will she strangle herself with the scanner cord? Or perhaps pull a plastic “bitchy bag” over her head and smother? Inquiring minds want to know.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 3:22 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   Tom

      Try working in a supermarket sometime. It will really open your eyes to a lot of things. I’ve worked as a grocery store bagger before and I agree, reusable bags are super-annoying. As for the video in this post, I don’t get it…why would a supermarket not offer bags? How else are people going to get their groceries home? Loose in their hands?

      Jan 25, 2012 at 11:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #19   QBALL

    the checker in Portlandia reminds me of my local grocer dude with the Elvis burns and pretentious attitude. I pooped on his car

    Jan 19, 2012 at 1:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #20   Noelegy

    Those recycled bags fall apart like wet tissue paper, too.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 1:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #21   Quite Contrary

    Actually, no, I didn’t want to know. You’re excused.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 3:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #22   Jess

    Those bags have been in Australia for years, since I was a kid so 15+ years. So meh, it’s nothing really exciting.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 6:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Poltergeist

      So you Aussies have allowed your plastic bags to sass you in this despicable manner for 15+ years? Grow a fucking backbone!

      Jan 20, 2012 at 3:01 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Jess

      I don’t need to grow “a fucking backbone” there’s more important things in this world to get worked up over and this isn’t one of them.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 3:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.3   Poltergeist

      I like how you took what I said seriously, as if it wasn’t a joke. I guess not all Aussies are as fun as we imagine them to be.

      Jan 20, 2012 at 12:43 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #23   amy

    This pic would also be appropriate on the blog of inappropriate quotation marks. It’s only pretending to be recycled.

    Jan 19, 2012 at 7:15 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #24   Karl

    It could be worse – somebody could post a video that refuses to play?

    Jan 25, 2012 at 7:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #25   john Divine

    I think this is good idea. It might make people take reusable grocery bags more seriously.

    Feb 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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