Got game?

January 23rd, 2012 · 32 comments

While perusing the magazines at Barnes & Noble, Shelly found this bit of divine snark affixed to the latest XBOX magazine.

Keep Reading You still will be single. - God

Haterz still will hate, I guess?

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · California · gaming · God · way harsh


32 responses so far ↓

  • #1   herpderp

    God sure does have shitty-ass handwriting.

    Jan 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   jadefirefly

      And awful grammar.

      Jan 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Aliceblue

      Hey, in that case I really am made in God’s image!

      Jan 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Grant

      Reading? The town/almost city in Berkshire, England? Where am I expected to keep something like that?

      Jan 24, 2012 at 3:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   The Elf

      Maybe it is referring to Reading Railroad, the Monopoly card. Pass over the first color group, but you buy and keep that Reading if want to win the game. They’ll just have passed Go and collected $200, plus the odds of landing on it are good, so it’s steady money. Get all four and you’ll bleed the other players dry in no time.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Nahhh bang

    Dear God(dess): I’m married. Does that mean I can’t also have a game console? I need a ruling asap!

    Jan 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   thrall

      Only that you can’t have an Xbox. A PS3 is no problem.

      –The goddess listens to your prayers.

      Jan 23, 2012 at 8:44 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Kao

      Exactly. I’m a female gamer and married to a video game programmer & gamer so yeah… not true at all. AND we both love reading and have a library room with 1000+ books.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 4:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Mamagamer

      @ Thrall… Lok Tar Ogar?????

      Jan 24, 2012 at 8:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   havingfitz

    Well, there may be something to this. I’m nearly 40 and adore my Xbox. It does what I ask it to, doesn’t make a mess, never complains that I’m not turning it on, and when I’m bored with it, it shuts up and goes away. It’s the perfect husband!

    Jan 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Poltergeist

      But does the Xbox provide you with sexual gratification, or do you have to fake orgasms to make it feel like a real gaming console?

      Jan 23, 2012 at 11:33 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   tuqoa

      Get one of those rumble pack things and you’re good to go!

      Jan 23, 2012 at 11:48 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   thrall

    This sounds like the impulsive work of a deeply embittered ex-girlfriend.

    Jan 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Poltergeist

    I always had an inkling that Post-it notes were sacred artifacts. Even God uses them!

    Jan 23, 2012 at 11:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Famine

    I don’t find the humor in this one, kinda makes you wonder who thought it would be “hilarious”. Put a post it note on them saying “Do onto others, as others would do onto you.” Get right or gtfo

    Jan 24, 2012 at 12:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   jdaniel

      Uhhh…. you didn’t get it right.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   butt

    Try harder, note writer. In my anecdotal experience… almost every gamer I know is either married or in a long-term relationship.

    Jan 24, 2012 at 2:37 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   unsatisfied

      ….with their xbox.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 12:16 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   someone

    My husband and I love our xbox. We don’t buy magazines though. Waste of paper.

    Jan 24, 2012 at 8:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   The Elf

    Those straight female gamers? Totally mythical.

    No woman in her right mind would ever pick up a game controller or install a game on her computer, and if she did, she certainly wouldn’t be interested in dating someone with similar interests.

    Now if you excuse me, my husband and I have a date to conquer the Republic and kill some Jedi on SWTOR.

    Jan 24, 2012 at 11:28 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   jdaniel

      Right. The straight ones just play Farmville.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 7:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Nikky

      Oh god, SWTOR owns my life right now. Most Bioware games tend to do that, though.

      Says the straight, female gamer who pulled 36 hours straight on Dragon Age: Origins. And 24 on ME2. And 8 on Skyrim before the boyfriend kicked her off.

      Jan 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   someone

      I actually stayed up for three days straight after I got Dragon Age Origins. That game changed my life.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Nikky

      Haha, mine too. I totally didn’t get the xbox obsession before that. I get it now.

      Jan 29, 2012 at 12:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Furtive lurker

    God owns Nintendo stock.

    And he markets in mysterious ways.

    Jan 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Egg McMuppet

      Tell him to bring over The Last Story for Wii.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   God

    I had to resort to a hand-scrawled note–those gamers never noticed when I wrote the same thing in the heavens using columns of fire.

    They won’t come out of their me-damned basements for anything but Mountain Dew and new releases of HALO.

    Jan 24, 2012 at 12:53 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Quite Contrary

    Gamers can read? Who knew?

    Jan 24, 2012 at 1:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Redheadwglasses

    Straight female here. I love WoW and am getting Skyrim for my birthday next week. When I turn 44. My 36yo boyfriend plays Battlefield 3.

    Jan 30, 2012 at 12:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   KDawg

      You sound like winners.

      Feb 25, 2012 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Nick

    I guess I should tell my 61-year-old parents that they are single now. They bought a Wii two years ago and use it every day.

    Jan 30, 2012 at 9:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   KDawg

    Burn/grammar fail. Better luck next time God.

    Feb 25, 2012 at 3:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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