Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)
related: This locker room is a nudity-free zone
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
January 24th, 2012 · 59 comments
FILED UNDER: a little uptight · bathroom · rhetorical question · toilet · toilet paper
59 responses so far ↓
#1
Chad
Sounds like he has some major issues.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:21 pm rating: 4
#2
jdaniel
I have never been offended by a douche. In fact, I have always found them refreshing when used as directed.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:25 pm rating: 36
#3
Mrs.Beasley
Maybe it’s not view-blocking toilet paper, maybe it’s odor-blocking toilet paper. Like, an attempt at a mercy flush alternative.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:28 pm rating: 25
#4
Ms Ann Thropic
How would he know that he uses toilet paper to block the door unless he was trying to watch…him…sh!t?
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm rating: 47
#5
Queen Baby
Tip: He’s not shitting. He’s bumping coke in there. Thus the paranoia.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm rating: 77
#6
shwo!
He’s not worried about your seeing him sh1t. He’s worried about your seeing him wipe boogers on the wall.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:39 pm rating: 24
#7
trillian
I’d be less “offended” that he blocks the openings, more offended he uses tp to do so. I’ve worked in many an office where they refuse to replenish the tp until a specified date, so when you run out of it, it’s this douche’s fault.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm rating: 31
#8
Dave
I thought that said “won’t watch” at first. .-.
Jan 24, 2012 at 7:57 pm rating: 15
#9
FeRD
Stephen Fry says, “Waaaah, waaah!”
http://imgur.com/fGelg
Jan 24, 2012 at 8:02 pm rating: 1
#10
lysa
I’m lol’ing so hard at the thought of some dude draping long swaths of toilet paper over both gaps between the door and wall (I’m assuming that’s how he does it). I can’t even imagine being that uptight and paranoid. If I saw that IRL I’m not sure I could resist popping my head over/under the partition for a hello.
Jan 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm rating: 45
#11
FeRD
If I was going to be offended by a douche, it would definitely not be this shy pooper. It’d probably be the frightening horror that is organic… um… “Hillbilly Bajingo Wash” (courtesy Regretsy).
Jan 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm rating: 2
#12
Metreeid
I was thinking maybe transgendered and wanting to be private but if the person is sitting down (which both genders do for “shit”) no one could tell through a crack in the door anyway. So, maybe doing something more private than shitting… drugs? Self pleasure?
Jan 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm rating: 7
#13
Khaos
And how does one block spaces around a door in a way that someone feels like the guy wants people to watch him take a shit?
Jan 24, 2012 at 8:35 pm rating: 5
#14
zenvelo
He wants you to look down to see his wide stance.
Jan 24, 2012 at 9:06 pm rating: 15
#15
Britts
He probably really needs to concentrate and when he can see people walking by he finds it distracting.
Jan 24, 2012 at 9:17 pm rating: 6
#16
Rectangle
it’s so annoying when people block the cracks with toilet paper… makes it harder to watch them crap
Jan 24, 2012 at 9:36 pm rating: 36
#17
AuntyBron
Maybe he has shy bowels.
Jan 24, 2012 at 11:43 pm rating: 8
#18
Poltergeist
Why is this individual so quick to assume that it is a bowel movement that is taking place behind the iron wall of toilet paper? Is he aware of how many different things can go on in a bathroom stall, most of which are more disgusting than taking a dump?
Jan 24, 2012 at 11:53 pm rating: 6
#19
April
Seriously? I have NEVER even heard of anyone doing this before now! And I work with the public and have to use public restrooms all the time… sheesh… (The things I’ve seen, though… *shudder*)
Jan 25, 2012 at 1:36 am rating: 12
#20
Brian H
They aren’t shy about having a BM, they are doing drugs.
Jan 25, 2012 at 6:27 am rating: 3
#21
Cute 'Flirty-but-Unavaliable' Medical Intern
Oh! Oooh! I know the answer to this one.
This man suffers from frequent “Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo”. Do NOT ridicule him. It will just make it worse.
Let me break it down for you. These types of poo are the same sort that killed Elvis. It doesn’t want to come out until you’re all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.
This poor bloke’s shoved the damn paper in the door gaps to save both of you the humiliation. He does NOT want you to see his Elvis-transformation. It’s embarassing and vulgar.
Poor Elvis.
Jan 25, 2012 at 7:19 am rating: 8
#22
Sensible Madness
If you have to go through some elaborate ritual before you’re comfortable using the office bathroom you’re probably better off just moving closer to work and going home to take a shit.
That or seeing a therapist, but moving closer to work is probably cheaper in the long run.
Jan 25, 2012 at 7:58 am rating: 17
#23
wiwille
Every office has one who does the toilet paper barrier. I am more confused by it than offended.
Jan 25, 2012 at 10:31 am rating: 9
#24
yolanda
confident author to think nobody wants to watch anyone shit. There’s some weird people out there! My solution to public modesty in this situation is to hold something in my lap while my shirttails/coat dangles around my butt, rendering me pretty much dressed to any peeper’s view. Ever have one of those dreams where you need to pee but can’t find a toilet that’s not mounted on a dais in a busy public place without walls? (wake up and go pee before you luck out and find a good one)
Jan 25, 2012 at 12:26 pm rating: 11
#25
Lily
At work, we have people who block bathroom stall gaps with toilet paper as well, in the womens’ washrooms. I don’t understand why people get offended by it. In other words, you’re ok with people accidently getting a tiny glimpse of you with your pants down sitting on the toilet? Why? I know it’s something I don’t need to see, but it’s not like I’m deliberately looking for that either.
/first world problems
Jan 25, 2012 at 2:31 pm rating: 1
#26
Mishee
This explains why there was no square to spare.
Jan 25, 2012 at 8:43 pm rating: 17
#27
Anna
Do people really do this?
I have to say, the first time I came to the US I was surprised at the big gaps around bathroom doors. My first ‘use’ was in the airport so I assumed it was some bizarre security thing but no… it’s everywhere. Using public bogs in the UK feels quite private in comparison!
Jan 25, 2012 at 11:03 pm rating: 5
#28
Batman
Personally, I’m more offended by the douche who chose to write on the wall than the guy who wants to poop in peace.
Jan 26, 2012 at 7:27 am rating: 16
#29
bookworm
I’m more offended that this person’s mind went straight to the thought of watching someone shit upon seeing toilet paper draped around a stall.
Jan 26, 2012 at 4:34 pm rating: 2
#30
Renee
People in australia who are shy re the bathroom will just use the disabled toilet instead – or as the standard protocol in the ladies, people will wait until they hear the other person leave the restroom / wash their hands / run the hand dryer before they continue if they are a bit awkward. I was in one bathroom where all stalls were occupied but NO noise (eg peeing) because every lady was waiting – I just went and ran the hand dryer so they could bloody well free a stall for me lol.
Jan 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm rating: 16
#31
Sarah
It’s a good idea sometimes. I once had a 7 year old girl stand up against the wall by the sinks and watched me the entire time I took a piss. Stared me straight in the eye through the gap between the door and wall.
Jan 26, 2012 at 6:40 pm rating: 3
#32
Saj
I work at a wannabee glamorous women’s magazine publisher. The managers called a meeting for the women and told us that we were no longer allowed to have bowel movements at work, because the women’s restroom is next to the reception desk, and sometimes the smells waft out, and it doesn’t go with our “elegant” image. Personally I have never smelled anything bad in that area at all.
I’m sure this is against some human right, right?
Now I have my “bowel movements” almost exclusively at work. :^D
Jan 27, 2012 at 1:15 pm rating: 19
#33
Me
“Well I used to be disgusted,
But now I try to be amused”
D. McManus
Jan 28, 2012 at 12:23 pm rating: 1
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