Signed, The Doorman Freezing His Ass Off

January 25th, 2012 · 33 comments

Thanks to Kenny from San Francisco for introducing me to the work of my new favorite doorman.

Many light years away a new planet much like each has been discovered; one where they use revolving doors.

related: “Church Sign Writer” is a real job

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · office


33 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mishee

    And on this planet, doormen are unheard of so therefore the men who once did this job are now unemployed and have no use for their gloves and fancy jacket.

    Jan 25, 2012 at 8:41 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Furtive lurker

      How big must that one jacket be for so many men to be able to share it?

      Jan 26, 2012 at 11:52 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   You Will Be Gronk'd

    I hate revolving doors! I have weird thought that I will become trapped in one…

    Jan 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   You Will Be Gronk'd

      *a*

      Jan 25, 2012 at 8:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Palomon

      Go Pats!

      Jan 25, 2012 at 11:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Jordie

      It’s not that surprising, actually, or that uncommon. My great-grandpa was pushed down by one that revolved too fast and broke his hip. He died a month later.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Rachel of Cyberia

    Proper semicolon usage! I’m in love.

    Jan 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   meh

      Yet another successful English major graduate.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 12:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   English Teacher

      Actually, nope. The part after the semicolon is not a complete sentence. A dash would be the appropriate punctuation here. A colon would be acceptable as well.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 5:59 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   M

      Actually, I thought this was a perfect example of improper semicolon usage? “One where they use revolving doors” is not an independent clause… it’s a sentence fragment. Nor is it part of a list, so the semicolon can’t be seen as a super-comma.

      In any case… his spelling is pretty good?

      Jan 26, 2012 at 5:59 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Sir Puke

    How cold can it be in San Francisco?
    Wear a coat. Put on a sweater.

    It wouldn’t matter in any case. Due to fire codes a revolving door must also have traditional door(s) next to them.

    Jan 25, 2012 at 9:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Quite Contrary

      How cold can it be in San Francisco? Really? Try freezing. Mark Twain said it best, “The coldest winter I spent was a summer in San Francisco.”

      Jan 25, 2012 at 9:33 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Adriana

      San Francisco is surprisingly cold. Some people have the idea in their heads that it must be warm all year because it’s in California. I will say, though, that living in Chicago the past few years has taught me that it gets much, much worse.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   thwit

      Says the person who hasn’t been to San Francisco. I once had a roommate from Ohio who mocked us for talking about how cold it could get. But after 6 or 8 months he ate his words. We have “the dead of July” here. Trust me, it gets cold in a way that you wouldn’t expect in a place that doesn’t get snow. The cold sticks to you.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 6:15 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Poltergeist

      Cold without snow sounds a million times better than cold with snow. I prefer changing temperatures myself anyway. If it were as easy as just packing up a suitcase and leaving, I’d move to San Francisco in a heartbeat.

      Jan 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Redheadwglasses

      No one in San Francisco gets to complain about the “cold.”

      Signed,
      Minnesota

      Jan 30, 2012 at 12:36 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Quite Contrary

    I wonder if the doorman is related to the woman who hands out towels in the ladies bathroom.

    Jan 25, 2012 at 9:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   thrall

      In our household, we call her the “Toilet Dragon.” She shall rain fire and brimstone upon you if you try to get your own towel. Or have the temerity to go to the loo without any change for a tip.

      Jan 25, 2012 at 9:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Letter Admirer

    Good old “Z.” Gets no respect, always at the end of the line, yet willing time and time again to step in and do whatever it takes when lazy, arrogant “N” can’t be bothered to show up and do its job. Here’s to you, “Z.”

    Jan 25, 2012 at 11:09 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Palomon

      No! You did not just say, “that lazy ‘N.’”

      Jan 26, 2012 at 12:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      All those letters are white……

      Jan 26, 2012 at 7:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Furtive lurker

      An “N” is just an uppity “Z.”

      Jan 26, 2012 at 11:50 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   infanttyrone

      An “N” and a “Z” !
      Uppity ?
      Buy them each a vowel and they get REALLY uppity, thusly…

      http://bit.ly/zadUS9

      Jan 26, 2012 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   The Elf

    I love revolving doors. There aren’t enough of them around! They must be expensive to install and maintain or something.

    Jan 26, 2012 at 7:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Lipstick Mystic

      Revolving doors are all just fine until somebody loses an eye.

      Or something.

      I always feel like I’m gonna be squooshed in them because people can be pretty aggressive pushing at them, and I’m sort of a dawdler.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 12:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Atheist Scum Unite!

    Isn’t a Doorman wishing for a revolving door akin to a Cashier wishing all lanes were “self-checkout” lanes? So… you basically want to be unemployed?

    Jan 26, 2012 at 9:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Furtive lurker

      I’m with the doorman on this– I want to still be paid while a contraption does the mundane work for me.

      I grew up idolizing George Jetson.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 11:51 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Poltergeist

      Well, many doormen actually do more than just opening doors. I know the one that worked at my grandmother’s highrise also acted as the bellhop and security. He was responsible for screening visitors and deliveries and helped carry luggage.

      Jan 26, 2012 at 1:06 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Sensible Madness bang

    Revolving doors are too slow, especially if you’re stuck behind someone who feels the need to walk in slow motion when they enter one.

    What this guy needs is an air door.

    Jan 26, 2012 at 9:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Dan

    That’s cute, but doesn’t it mean he’d be out of a job?

    Jan 26, 2012 at 12:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   GhostWriter bang

    …and that planet is where all “Scooby Doo” episodes are filmed.

    Jan 26, 2012 at 3:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Happyfish

    I fear revolving doors. Namely because I misjudged the size of one once while my future mother in law was in it. My brain apparently had a mini stroke as we approached the door and as she entered I went in with her. We immediately got stuck and had to shuffle step very slowly to get out. For some reason my wife still married me after that, good woman.

    Jan 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      ^^^ WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN!!!

      Jan 26, 2012 at 5:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     

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