No Dumping Zone

January 30th, 2012 · 40 comments

To me this sounds suspiciously like an episode of The League, but Stephen from Cherry Hill, New Jersey claims his daughter recently caught him heading into the bathroom “for a little sit-down,” laptop in hand. When five-year-old Rosie asked why Daddy was bringing his computer into the fecal mist zone, he replied, “Multi-tasking.”

A few minutes later, Rosie slipped the following note under the door. (The drawing had already been done earlier.)

What are you thinking Dad? That's a horrible thing to do.

Translation: What are you thinking Dad? That’s a horrible thing to do.

Can you really argue with her?

related: Never put nature aside for television.

FILED UNDER: Father-daughter notes · hygiene · kids · New Jersey


40 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Not You

    A five-year-old WROTE that? Hmmm….

    It seems like a forgery to me.

    Jan 30, 2012 at 10:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   juliet

      Actually, that looks pretty much like the way my 5-year-old would write it.

      Jan 30, 2012 at 11:03 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Kizzy

      Wow, you must know some really damn slow 5 year olds if you can’t believe one wrote that.

      Jan 30, 2012 at 11:39 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Pete

      When my son was 5 he could spell better but my daughter who is now 5 can only write a few words. They develop at different rates!

      Jan 31, 2012 at 2:24 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Annaliesa

      Kids weren’t taught to read or spell at 5 back in my day. It was all finger paints and singing.

      Teaching kids to read and write in kindergarten is standard now. Some researchers are concerned that this is too young of an age for a great number of kids, especially boys.

      Feb 8, 2012 at 2:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Roto13

    I could argue with her if my pants weren’t down to ankles right now.

    Jan 30, 2012 at 11:03 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      Yes, pants around ankles is always a bad position for negotiation.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 8:19 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   unsatisfied

      …especially if you work for vandelay industries.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 11:19 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   AuntyBron

      I suppose it depends on if you’re the screwer or the screwee.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 11:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   zenvelo

    She probably knows how to do that note nicely in Paint, but dad has the damn computer while taking a shit!

    Jan 30, 2012 at 11:35 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Jessela

    Honestly, the bathroom is one of the only places I can go to be alone. I take my computer w/ me for a radio just to get away from the fam for a few min :p who can blame a guy? Ha! Even then they still yell through the door 1/2 the time…

    Jan 30, 2012 at 11:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   The Elf

      Is that what we’re calling it these days? Multi-tasking?

      I’m not judging. Whatever floats your boat…..

      Jan 31, 2012 at 8:18 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   qua

      Sounds like My workplace ; it’s the shits being important

      Jan 31, 2012 at 11:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Mrs.Beasley

    I’m thinking that Rosie’s experience with the laptop mostly involves Skyping with Granny.

    Jan 30, 2012 at 11:49 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      Let’s hope that’s not what Daddy does in the bathroom with his laptop. If he is, then they really need to cut those apron strings.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 12:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Rillion

    Dear Rosie,

    Mind your own business. It’s Daddy’s laptop and Daddy’s bathroom, and Daddy will do what he wants in there primarily because it’s the only place he can have some privacy from you. Now, go play with your toys, and let Daddy play with his.

    Jan 30, 2012 at 11:52 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Rectangle bang

    wow Dad. you are disappoint to us all

    Jan 31, 2012 at 12:40 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Poltergeist

    Looking at the note makes me think that Mommy told Rosie what filthy sin Daddy was really using that computer for behind the closed bathroom door.

    Also, am I the only one who at first read “hrabll” as “hairball”?

    Jan 31, 2012 at 1:22 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   thwit

      You got closer to horrible than I did. I read it as hîabllo. It wasn’t until I read the translation that I realized the î was actually an r and the o was a period – and I worked with children this age for 15 years. So I congratulate you on your deciphering ability.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 2:00 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   PoolGirl

      I wanted it to say hillbilly.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 9:45 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Wrench

    I have IBS, if I didn’t toilet-top I’d never get anything done.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 5:31 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Allergic_Vegetarian

      May I suggest you get tested for Celiac? I only say this because my own doctor found the 9 out of 10 patients of his who was diagnosed with IBS, he found actually had Celiac instead. You probably won’t see this, but hopefully you will OR you already was tested and they didn’t find Celiac.

      Feb 6, 2012 at 10:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Lil'

    I don’t really get the need to take reading/work materials into the bathroom – doesn’t it just make it take longer? Why not go in, focus on handling THAT business, get it done, and get back to your work. I was pissed when I found out one of my coworkers was taking our office newspaper into the restroom every morning, then bringing it back out and placing it on the kitchen table where most of us read it at lunch.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 7:58 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   bookworm

      I waited ten minutes outside of a restroom because I wanted to use it before heading home, and when the person finally came out they had a magazine in hand. The genius move on their part is enhanced by the fact that everybody has to share that single toilet.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Poltergeist

      What makes you think the reason they were in there for such a long time was the magazine? If you’re implying that you’ve never had a stomachache, then I’m very envious of your hardy digestive system. Many of us aren’t so lucky.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 7:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   mollie

      I like to read so I DON”T think about it! It lets me relax and allow nature to do it’s business without me rushing (or straining!) cos I’m bored. (yeah I have a low boredom threshold, hence why I take reading material everywhere)

      Feb 1, 2012 at 3:52 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Celeste

    My son takes his iPhone into the bathroom and plays games. At least I hope that’s what he’s doing in there when I hear him whooping and hollering.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 8:51 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Dane Zeller

    Rosie, it’s quite natural for men to take their computers into the bathroom. I’ve been doing it for a long time; so have many of my friends. It was hard to get the desktop in there, but much easier than the keypunch machine.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 9:23 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   MAMARILLA2 bang

    RED FLAGGED!

    Jan 31, 2012 at 10:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   meeper

    Just wait until she’s older and starts getting phone calls from her dad while he’s in the washroom. I speak from experience: “Why is it so echo-y on your side? You’re calling me from THERE again, aren’t you!”

    Jan 31, 2012 at 11:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   unsatisfied

      one of my friends did that for a long time. I’d have no idea until I’d hear “flussssssssssh!”

      Jan 31, 2012 at 11:30 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Noelegy

      I have never understood the practice of talking on one’s cell phone in a public restroom. There is NO guarantee of either privacy or quiet!

      Jan 31, 2012 at 12:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   bookworm

      On the toilet and right before eating a meal are two times when a person should *not* think to make a phone call. I don’t want to hear it going in or coming back out.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Annaliesa

      When I was pregnant and spending half of my work day urinating, I noticed how many people would chat on their phone or better yet, try to make conversation with me in the restroom. I don’t want to hear about the results of your pap smear. I’m not interested in talking about the client who ended up in the hospital for trying to overdose on Zyprexa. I just wanted some peace.

      Feb 8, 2012 at 2:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   John | Married (with Debt)

    I’ve learned to get out of the bathroom in a minute or less. Sitting on that toilet can give you big problems.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 12:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Adriana

    My boyfriend takes the laptop, Kindle, and Nintendo DS into the bathroom. Maybe he’s trying to tell me that he doesn’t want me using his stuff anymore. All that I’ve learned is that I have a higher tolerance for urine and fecal matter than I had previously realized.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 1:48 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   bookworm

    When my brother was a teenager, he piled up his plate with dinner one night and then made a beeline toward the toilet, plate in hand.

    He later admitted that it was a pretty bad idea.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Lisa

    My 10-year-old has taken to bringing his Kindle into the bathroom where he places it on the floor and leans over to read while he takes care of business. Now, I’ve cleaned that floor…I know what happens to the floor at the base of a toilet used by two little boys, and I certainly wouldn’t want to borrow his Kindle after witnessing that little ritual.

    Jan 31, 2012 at 8:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   redheadwglasses

    At my old house, my bathroom was 12×12 — huge! We had a TV in there on a dresser. And because the house was old, the pipes were old as well, so it took a long time to run a bath (no shower). sometimes that meant taking a plate of food with me — or just a sandwich — while I waited for the water to get to the right temp and level. FTR: My bathroom was *immaculate* (two years as a hotel maid in high school taught me well).

    A friend found this out and was disgusted: “You EAT in your BATHROOM?”

    Me: “Your cats’ litter box sits in the middle of your kitchen floor, up against the stove. You don’t think that’s worse?”

    Feb 1, 2012 at 11:20 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Aneres

    reminds me of the seinfeld episode where george took the library book into the bathroom

    Feb 5, 2012 at 9:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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