A few days ago, says our submitter in Louisiana, a co-worker left her meal on the lunchroom table while she went to the restroom. When she came back, she discovered that some brazen mo-fo had jacked her sandwich, leaving the empty bag behind.
“Being from the Creative Marketing department,” our submitter says, “she decided to fight back against the food thief with this.”
related: Creative approaches to food thievery
extra credit: Crime Scene Sandwich Bags
65 responses so far ↓
#1
No.
I’m hungry right now.
Feb 2, 2012 at 9:08 pm rating: 8
#2
Spumler
Looks like this crime will have to be solved…
(puts on sunglasses)
…on a shoestring.
Feb 2, 2012 at 9:12 pm rating: 81
#3
Poltergeist
Where’s the beef?
Feb 2, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 20
#4
scott hall
how much time and money did she waste setting all that shit up when she could have just bought another burger
Feb 2, 2012 at 11:24 pm rating: 3
#5
infanttyrone
Rocky: So, Danger…any hot leads on the burger-and-fries napping ?
Nick: Rococo, we couldn’t pin the San Anselmo pederasty case on you, but I’ll sure relish watching you walk in the Angola chow line for this caper.
Feb 3, 2012 at 12:26 am rating: 8
#6
Jolly
Man, it’s a double punch. Even if you really wanted to believe the best of people and decided that someone just made a mistake, thinking it was left there by someone who didn’t want it, free for the taking… they’d still be a douche for leaving the garbage behind. Oof.
Feb 3, 2012 at 12:26 am rating: 52
#7
OoogaBooga
Is it really that common for people to STEAL food in an office? I don’t work in an office, so this sounds like the biggest DICK move I’ve ever heard of.
Feb 3, 2012 at 4:31 am rating: 36
#8
spoko
That’s spectacular. Can’t believe she had the patience & presence of mind to channel her anger like that. Me, I would have thrown the bag away, bought another sandwich, and complained to people about the incident for, oh, about two or three years.
Feb 3, 2012 at 5:44 am rating: 57
#9
The Elf
I bet the food thief was thinking “There were fries too? Awwwww, I missed that!”
Feb 3, 2012 at 7:01 am rating: 20
#10
Dane Zeller
Hmmm….those look like ketchup packages in the bag. That means she did have fries. But, notice the bag: there are no grease stains on it, the mark of quality fries. Furthermore the bag is not very big. Conclusion: either the sandwich was very small, or there were not many fries purchased. Clearly, the food was puny and second rate. Methinks the punishment has already been dealt.
Feb 3, 2012 at 8:38 am rating: 7
#11
Harmy G
Is it just me, or does the picture of the “burger” look more like a tomato sandwich with lettuce and cheese?
WHERE’S THE BEEF!?
Feb 3, 2012 at 10:18 am rating: 4
#12
aaa
Smart food thieves know you take somebody’s lunch before they start eating it, preferably while still in the refrigerator, sealed up in a lunch bag.
Feb 3, 2012 at 11:52 am rating: 3
#13
aaa
Also: I’m reminded of the time in high school that some asshole stole my lunch time can of Mello Yello out of my locker.
Moral of the story: Always lock your locker and your fondness for relatively unpopular beverages isn’t nearly as unique as you think it is.
Feb 3, 2012 at 11:58 am rating: 6
#14
GhostWriter
I did you a favor.
Those fries alone are 750 calories.
Feb 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm rating: 6
#15
Karl
Only in America is a fat sandwich and a bag full of fries lunch.
Feb 3, 2012 at 8:11 pm rating: 4
#16
Nunavut Guy
MMMMMMM…………Free sandwich.
Feb 3, 2012 at 9:22 pm rating: 2
#17
Karen L.
I brought the lunch thief at my work to a screeching halt by bringing in pasta topped with parmesan cheese every day for a week and letting him steal it….the following week I posted a note that I had mixed the parmesan cheese with the insides of my ped egg.
Feb 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm rating: 44
#18
Bookaddict
@Karen L.: you are so awesome.
new role model!
@poltergeist: you really match your username quite well. Swooping in, being rude and vulgar, sounds pretty consistent.
Feb 4, 2012 at 4:42 pm rating: 2
#19
Canthz_B
Wait two hours then the check the restrooms.
They don’t call it “fast food” for nothing you know.
Feb 4, 2012 at 11:53 pm rating: 5
#20
Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Yeah, that’s fighting back. You sure showed them!
People who work in marketing deserve to have their lunches eaten.
Feb 5, 2012 at 5:11 am rating: 0
#21
havingfitz
The worst ‘lunch theft’ I ever witnessed was a co-worker of mine who brought what was left of a bucket of chicken to work and left it in the fridge. He went to lunch and found a bucket full of chicken bones waiting for him. Another coworker felt sorry for him because he was so upset, and gave him a big pack of cookies: he left his desk for a moment and came back to find someone had stolen those as well…
Feb 5, 2012 at 7:56 am rating: 17
#22
havingfitz
I don’t know about that: he was huge and only would have needed a Mohawk to look like Mr. T. He never got over that day though, I’d be working on something and overhear him telling a new employee “They took my damn cookies, too!”
Feb 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm rating: 10
#23
Allergic_Vegetarian
What would I have done to the fool who stole the food? As a “head honcho” I would have interviewed every single employee and asked them point blank if they stole it while looking straight into their eyes. If their eyes dilated, then I’d know they were guilty. After that, I’d give them a choice… pay the victim $20 Cash or I’m calling the police and having them arrested for alleged theft of another person’s property. I’d also remind them that if caught again, they will be fired.
Feb 6, 2012 at 10:37 am rating: 8
#24
Totally Awesome
I think the crime scene is hilarious.
Feb 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
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