Very unfortunate, indeed.

February 22nd, 2012 · 55 comments

Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.

Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”

Very unfortunate, indeed.

Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:

Hey, Guess What!!  If someone's shitting on the floor, they probably aren't going to stop if you shame them with a stall memo.











related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!

FILED UNDER: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · Cleveland · office · shit · that's disgusting · WTF?

55 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Elmo

    When there is a Mad Crapper on the loose, you’re lucky if they confine themselves to the bathroom floor.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 2:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   girl_with_all_the_yarn

    Upon being figured out, the Mad Bomber realized she would have to go on the lam. After changing her name and sufficiently hiding her mad bombing tendencies for a long enough period of time, she furtively looked around herself as she entered the women’s room.

    It was empty. Good. She did her dirty deed and left. She smiled as she left. They’d eventually become suspicious. Of course, it would take awhile. But by then she’d be in Mexico, and she could blame it on the water…

    Feb 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   infanttyrone

      Does this mean that George Matetsky might have started off as Georgina ?

      She should have taken Spanish in high school –
      the location switch would have been easier than gender reassignment.

      Feb 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   clumber

      g_w_a_t_y : i’d leap through the screen and hug you… if I didn’t have massive personal space issues (and physics…). Instead I offer you : The Internet is yours and yours alone for a full day!

      Well done and GOOD SHOW!

      Feb 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   AlfaCowboy

    I worked at a grocery store when I was 15, and there was a series of feces-related incidents in the women’s room. We dubbed the unknown perpetrator “The Unapooper.”

    Feb 22, 2012 at 2:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Heather

    Oh dear. I’ts like when your cat is upset about something, it starts pooping outside the litter box. That’s a seriously disgruntled employee, right there.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Kathy

      Right about that. One of my cats (we have our suspicions who) dumped right in the kitchen the other day. Talk about a PAN. Nothing says you’re angry about something than a shit on linoleum.

      Feb 22, 2012 at 4:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   quat

      No, there is worse. Cat pee in the radiator. NOTHING says “I hate your guts for leaving me” like piss in the radiator.

      Feb 22, 2012 at 7:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   MsChilePepper

      Nah, my friend’s cat pissed ON TOP OF HER STOVE. And she didn’t realize it until she turned on a burner to cook. Ugh. She had to throw out the stove and bought one of those ranges with the flat glass cooktops, just in case it happened again.

      I’ll tell ya, it would NEVER happen again, because I would no longer own a cat.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 4:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Lil'

      A few years ago, I decided my cuddly cat needed a companion. A nice lady offered me a sweet cat about my cat’s age. She let us cuddle with her and pet her on both occassions we saw her. But when we took her home, she went ballistic. She tried to attack me, my cat and my husband. We put our cat in the back yard for a while to keep her safe and give the new cat time to adjust. Well she calmed down, checked out the surroundings and dropped a massive load in my hallway. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it looked like dog poop and stunk up my whole house. She never did warm up to us, so we had to return her to her other family (as we were asked to do if it didn’t work out). I learned two things from this experience…1.) you only have a small window of time to socialize a cat, and 2.) a litter box 2 feet away means nothing to a pissed off cat.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 8:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   The White Clouds of Opium bang

      Oh YEAH? A friend of a friend knows a guy whose girlfriend POISONED him! I win!

      Feb 27, 2012 at 2:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   infanttyrone

    Jeez, if she’s that worried about the backsplash effect, she could set up a raft array of floating tissue in the landing area.

    Like the Rolling Stone motto sez: Paper Covers Rock.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Kwyjor

      Oh, is splashback the issue? Truly, I was baffled as to what was going on here.

      I found it particularly odd that this was happening in a women’s washroom. Then again, that’s where all the stories about “hovering” seem to originate.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 9:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   johnnyboy

      I think the more likely explanation here is a pooper so neurotic about sitting on a public toilet seat that she craps standing, and has dreadful aim.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 11:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   clumber

      dreadful aim or incredible velocity.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   QBALL

    I feel sorry for both the person that had to clean it up and and the person who decided that the coffee enema at work was a good idea

    Feb 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Jill

    Wow, I just became much more appreciative of my own work bathroom.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Karl

    The unnecessary quotation marks around “pooping” lead me to believe that it’s code for something…but what?

    Feb 22, 2012 at 4:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   sparkle


      Mar 3, 2012 at 7:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Tabitha

    At my dance studio, we once had a serial pee-ist in the men’s bathroom. There would be pee everywhere. The ceiling, the walls, the mirrors and sink. We called him The Pee Pee Bandit. He was eventually caught in the act while one of the instructors was in a stall. It turns out it was a 10 year old boy who was the instructor’s own student. Awkward parent-teacher meeting.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 4:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Mrs.Beasley

      I have heard this particular activity referred to as “Firehose.”

      Feb 22, 2012 at 5:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Harmy G

    I only crap on the floor when I know there is going to be corn in it.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 5:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   embarassed

    Sadly I have had this happen to me. I was in Thailand and suffering from dysentery. I so wanted to make the toilet. I was almost there… I still remember to this day the horrible feeling I had leaning against the wall, crying and apologizing to the bathroom attendant. I can only think this poor woman has some illness. or maybe she hates her boss/co-workers with a passion..

    Feb 22, 2012 at 7:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Ellere

      It is usually a sign of sexual abuse, especially in children.

      Feb 22, 2012 at 8:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Nope Not Me

      have to say I was so intrigued by your comment that I had to do me a google search and no, not one single site I visited listing signs of sexual or child abuse mentioned pooping on the floor. Lots of other stuff but not this.

      Probably turn out to be someone on the cleaning crew anyway. Those people don’t have home toilets. Just doing what comes naturally.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 9:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Ellere

      Well, that’s what the Jr High faculty told us when they had a Mad Crapper on the loose. The kid would usually smear it around right before long weekends and vacations, we were told this was their anxiety about having to probably be with their abuser for an extended period of time.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 11:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   DrDanger

      I know that everyone comes to this site for a laugh, but this one may call for a little compassion.

      “Acting out” with poop or pee can be a sign of psychological distress. Especially when children smear feces, there is an association with abuse.

      Or the person could be a coprophiliac. Some sources argue that scatophilia is associated with morbid depression.

      Anyway, there might be more going on here than bad aim.

      Feb 24, 2012 at 9:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Uly

      Yeah, but you at least told the bathroom attendant.

      Accidents happen. Embarrassing as it is, the appropriate thing is to tell somebody. (Even if you do it in the guise of “Somebody” left it there!)

      Feb 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Nick

    I’ve shit on the floor in the stall in public. Why? To avoid the splashback from the public toilet. I’m not a public shitter, and the few times I did do it in public, it was hovering in the stall corner like an animal. I just don’t care about anyone but me.

    Feb 22, 2012 at 9:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   infanttyrone

      In case you are for real…feel free to use the patented method shown in #5.
      No need to send any royalties.
      Not sure I’d trust your cyber-currency to be clean, much less paper money.

      A few questions though:
      1) On those rare occasions when you do find it necessary to shit in a public facility, do you use the public toilet paper that is there or do you carry an emergency supply ? Do you at least put the used paper in the toilet ?

      2) What sort of neighborhoods do you tend to frequent such that the toilets are so dirty-appearing that you are truly concerned about germs splashing up and infiltrating your body via your posterior, where there presumably is still a plug-o-poop preventing any incursions ?

      3) Is your toilet at home kept sparklingly clean by comparison, or is it just the home-field familiarity that makes you less anxious, less like an animal hovering in the stall corner ? If it is that much cleaner, what is your approximate monthly outlay for disinfectants and the like ?

      Sorry if these seem like inappropriate prying, but you’re the first person I’ve met who claimed to have purposely aimed for a dry LZ when an aqueous one was available.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 12:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Zorin

      Yeah, no kidding. I never understood people who are afraid of public toilets. I’ve been pooping in them for decades. I’ve never put paper on the seat. I just sit and do my business. And not once have I gotten sick from it.

      I don’t get germaphobes. Don’t they realize if they’re obsessive about avoiding germs, their bodies become MORE susceptible to infection? Immune systems need practice to keep working.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 8:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Lil'

      You should just buy yourself some of those pet pads…you know, the ones you use when you are house training a dog. Even if you ended up leaving it on the floor anyway, it would make things easier for the unfortunate person who has to clean up after you.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 8:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Atheist Scum Unite!

      Nick, I really hope you are kidding.

      And if you’re not, I hope you slip and land in a steaming pile of your own excrement.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 8:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   Nick

      Haven’t shit in public since I drank a fifth of black Bacardi the night before going to work at 5am. Found myself at Taco Bell (locking bathroom, one man occupancy, that is why it was chosen) crouched in the corner. That was six years ago. The toilets in my neighborhoods appear clean, but I’ve urinated in enough of them to see them at their worst now and then, so I won’t sit. I don’t carry Toilet Paper, since I am optimistic that I will not be needing it. I’m not obsessive about my home toilet, but I do a regular spray of lysol here and there. I’m not worried about the home field, since it is a closed ecosystem and whatever is in the house, I’ve already been exposed to.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   Nick

      Oh, forgot: Paper in the toilet or on the floor with the expelled feces? Well, if I’m feeling generous, in the toilet, but I still don’t flush. Now had I been to Taco Bell recently and they had given me poor service or otherwise pissed me off, I would be stringing out too much paper and throwing it on the floor, half-in, half-out of the toilet, or maybe cover up the whole pile of feces with it in order to give someone a surprise once they got into cleaning up what they thought was just a dry mess of paper. So it depends.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.7   infanttyrone


      Hopefully while racing back to the living room to watch a HBO comedy special featuring the late great Richard Jenni.

      There’s a series of YT clips for the show, but we can’t post them here or else we’d break the internet or something…and the terrorists would win.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.8   johnnyboy

      Nick dude, if you’re not a troll, you’re really, really weird. Do you actually believe you can catch some disease through the skin of your thighs ?

      The probability of you getting sick is about 10 million times higher from actually eating the food at Taco bell.

      Feb 28, 2012 at 10:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   bob loblaw

    interesting that the request is for the shitter to clean up the shit on the floor before they leave. wouldn’t it make more sense to tell the shitter to shit in the crapper?

    just asking

    Feb 22, 2012 at 9:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   bookworm

      Baby steps.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 10:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   bookworm

    Should have announced that they put cameras in the restrooms to catch the floor shitter. There don’t actually have to be any cameras.

    Feb 23, 2012 at 10:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Katy

    We had a similar issue at work, except they were smearing it on the walls!

    Feb 23, 2012 at 11:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Belaani

      Where the hell do you work?

      Feb 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   bethksp

    I used to work in retail and we sometimes find poop in the dressing rooms. I think that kind of poop issue might be a sexual thing (ie Two Girls, One Cup) Just sayin’ ……..

    Feb 23, 2012 at 2:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Steve

      I think that’s just a fashion dropping: “I could get into this eight if I just lost … there we go!”

      Feb 23, 2012 at 8:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   unsatisfied

    when I was in high school, I bussed tables at a well-known breakfast-all-day restaurant. while closing one night, I went into the women’s room to clean it. I opened one of the stall doors to discover that some woman (I am assuming) had her period all over the floor and walls of the stall.

    it looked like there was a murder in there.

    I still have PTSD from that horror.

    Feb 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   M L

      Maybe there WAS a murder in there.

      Pretty sure that counts as a biohazard too. Wherever you worked, you probably could have legally refused to clean that yourself. Just sayin’.

      Feb 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   unsatisfied

      when she saw the look of “deer-in-headlights” on my face, a female co-worker went in and took care of it.

      part of me wonders to this day if she was the original culprit.

      Feb 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Kaytie

    When I was a night server at Pizza Hut we had something similar happen. An *extremely* obese woman (we’re talking 550-575 lbs…about a dinner away from being confined to a hospital bed) came in for the buffet. She went to the restroom before she left and then rushed (as much as someone her size can rush) out. A few minutes later one of my co-workers took a bathroom break and found the mess. I think it’s more difficult for very overweight people to tell when they’re “centered” on the toilet and so they mess over the side or down the front. Maybe that was the case here?

    Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Sarahbw

    If this is a “hovering” problem – investment in seat covers might make all feel more hygenic and serve to eliminate the aimless among the office.

    Feb 26, 2012 at 10:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   The White Clouds of Opium bang

    She ain’t exactly the 8th Air Force.

    Or maybe she is. Yeah, actually she is.

    Feb 27, 2012 at 2:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   butt

    My office definitely has someone with severe psychological trauma because we’ve also had the floor pooper and period blood all over the stall several times.

    Feb 27, 2012 at 3:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Jennifer

    I learn more than I could possibly want to know about humanity from PAN comments. I’m going to be obsessed now whenever I’m in a restaurant, wondering if any mad poopers are on the loose and if the place is reeking with germs.

    In the cat world, I recently adopted a tubby food-obsessed sweetie who, unfortunately, is a half pooper. This is the “poop liquidy mess on the inside edge of the litter box” technique, and “make sure that some of it also lands outside the box. ”

    It would be nice if there was a type of site for cats looking for homes where the cats could list things like “Loves food,” “Loves snuggles and walks in the yard,” “Loves to half poop in the litter box,” and then you would know what you’re getting into.

    Fortunately, he is adorable in almost every other respect, and he’s my first Basement Cat, so I must keep him! (Silky-haired black cat.)

    Feb 27, 2012 at 10:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Noelegy

      My 12-year-old Siamese mix has having squitters. We’ve been to the vet and we don’t know what’s causing it. He often can’t make it to the litter box, and just lets go wherever he is. To make matters worse, 1) he’s longhaired, 2) he’s gotten slipshod about grooming himself as he’s gotten older, and 3) he wants to climb into bed with us at night and love on us, poor baby.

      Wouldn’t get rid of him for anything, but with animals, sometimes it’s a good thing that you’re already committed to the relationship!

      Feb 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Chris

      I love my cats. But new cats are free.

      Mar 16, 2012 at 12:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Bob

    Leaving one’s feces outside the “proper receptacle” can be a symptom of sexual abuse. Children who are victims of rape, forced incest and/or sexual abuse often leave their feces on the floor of a bathroom or spread them on the walls. It is a very sad cry for help.

    Feb 29, 2012 at 8:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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