Our submitter in Ohio came into work recently to find this disturbing notice on the door of the women’s restroom. Even more disturbing? This apparently wasn’t the first time this type of incident has occurred.
Our submitter says a group of coworkers spend all morning trying to figure out the logistics of how this shit went down. “The stall is really not that big,” she says, “and in order to miss the toilet, one would have to be standing, practically leaning on the wall, rotated 90 degrees from the usual use of a toilet…and then somehow not see what happened or subsequently decide not to clean it up.”
Sadly, I think Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner has a point:
related: THE MAD BOMBER: Never Forget!
55 responses so far ↓
#1
Elmo
When there is a Mad Crapper on the loose, you’re lucky if they confine themselves to the bathroom floor.
Feb 22, 2012 at 2:19 pm rating: 33
#2
girl_with_all_the_yarn
Upon being figured out, the Mad Bomber realized she would have to go on the lam. After changing her name and sufficiently hiding her mad bombing tendencies for a long enough period of time, she furtively looked around herself as she entered the women’s room.
It was empty. Good. She did her dirty deed and left. She smiled as she left. They’d eventually become suspicious. Of course, it would take awhile. But by then she’d be in Mexico, and she could blame it on the water…
Feb 22, 2012 at 2:31 pm rating: 20
#3
AlfaCowboy
I worked at a grocery store when I was 15, and there was a series of feces-related incidents in the women’s room. We dubbed the unknown perpetrator “The Unapooper.”
Feb 22, 2012 at 2:54 pm rating: 29
#4
Heather
Oh dear. I’ts like when your cat is upset about something, it starts pooping outside the litter box. That’s a seriously disgruntled employee, right there.
Feb 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm rating: 65
#5
infanttyrone
Jeez, if she’s that worried about the backsplash effect, she could set up a raft array of floating tissue in the landing area.
Like the Rolling Stone motto sez: Paper Covers Rock.
Feb 22, 2012 at 3:25 pm rating: 10
#6
QBALL
I feel sorry for both the person that had to clean it up and and the person who decided that the coffee enema at work was a good idea
Feb 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm rating: 4
#7
Jill
Wow, I just became much more appreciative of my own work bathroom.
Feb 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm rating: 16
#8
Karl
The unnecessary quotation marks around “pooping” lead me to believe that it’s code for something…but what?
Feb 22, 2012 at 4:41 pm rating: 23
#9
Tabitha
At my dance studio, we once had a serial pee-ist in the men’s bathroom. There would be pee everywhere. The ceiling, the walls, the mirrors and sink. We called him The Pee Pee Bandit. He was eventually caught in the act while one of the instructors was in a stall. It turns out it was a 10 year old boy who was the instructor’s own student. Awkward parent-teacher meeting.
Feb 22, 2012 at 4:41 pm rating: 26
#10
Harmy G
I only crap on the floor when I know there is going to be corn in it.
Feb 22, 2012 at 5:54 pm rating: 14
#11
embarassed
Sadly I have had this happen to me. I was in Thailand and suffering from dysentery. I so wanted to make the toilet. I was almost there… I still remember to this day the horrible feeling I had leaning against the wall, crying and apologizing to the bathroom attendant. I can only think this poor woman has some illness. or maybe she hates her boss/co-workers with a passion..
Feb 22, 2012 at 7:36 pm rating: 4
#12
Nick
I’ve shit on the floor in the stall in public. Why? To avoid the splashback from the public toilet. I’m not a public shitter, and the few times I did do it in public, it was hovering in the stall corner like an animal. I just don’t care about anyone but me.
Feb 22, 2012 at 9:06 pm rating: 3
#13
bob loblaw
interesting that the request is for the shitter to clean up the shit on the floor before they leave. wouldn’t it make more sense to tell the shitter to shit in the crapper?
just asking
Feb 22, 2012 at 9:39 pm rating: 25
#14
bookworm
Should have announced that they put cameras in the restrooms to catch the floor shitter. There don’t actually have to be any cameras.
Feb 23, 2012 at 10:42 am rating: 7
#15
Katy
We had a similar issue at work, except they were smearing it on the walls!
Feb 23, 2012 at 11:47 am rating: 1
#16
bethksp
I used to work in retail and we sometimes find poop in the dressing rooms. I think that kind of poop issue might be a sexual thing (ie Two Girls, One Cup) Just sayin’ ……..
Feb 23, 2012 at 2:23 pm rating: 2
#17
unsatisfied
when I was in high school, I bussed tables at a well-known breakfast-all-day restaurant. while closing one night, I went into the women’s room to clean it. I opened one of the stall doors to discover that some woman (I am assuming) had her period all over the floor and walls of the stall.
it looked like there was a murder in there.
I still have PTSD from that horror.
Feb 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm rating: 4
#18
Kaytie
When I was a night server at Pizza Hut we had something similar happen. An *extremely* obese woman (we’re talking 550-575 lbs…about a dinner away from being confined to a hospital bed) came in for the buffet. She went to the restroom before she left and then rushed (as much as someone her size can rush) out. A few minutes later one of my co-workers took a bathroom break and found the mess. I think it’s more difficult for very overweight people to tell when they’re “centered” on the toilet and so they mess over the side or down the front. Maybe that was the case here?
Feb 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm rating: 2
#19
Sarahbw
If this is a “hovering” problem – investment in seat covers might make all feel more hygenic and serve to eliminate the aimless among the office.
Feb 26, 2012 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#20
The White Clouds of Opium
She ain’t exactly the 8th Air Force.
Or maybe she is. Yeah, actually she is.
Feb 27, 2012 at 2:56 am rating: 0
#21
butt
My office definitely has someone with severe psychological trauma because we’ve also had the floor pooper and period blood all over the stall several times.
Feb 27, 2012 at 3:49 am rating: 1
#22
Jennifer
I learn more than I could possibly want to know about humanity from PAN comments. I’m going to be obsessed now whenever I’m in a restaurant, wondering if any mad poopers are on the loose and if the place is reeking with germs.
In the cat world, I recently adopted a tubby food-obsessed sweetie who, unfortunately, is a half pooper. This is the “poop liquidy mess on the inside edge of the litter box” technique, and “make sure that some of it also lands outside the box. ”
It would be nice if there was a Match.com type of site for cats looking for homes where the cats could list things like “Loves food,” “Loves snuggles and walks in the yard,” “Loves to half poop in the litter box,” and then you would know what you’re getting into.
Fortunately, he is adorable in almost every other respect, and he’s my first Basement Cat, so I must keep him! (Silky-haired black cat.)
Feb 27, 2012 at 10:50 am rating: 3
#23
Bob
Leaving one’s feces outside the “proper receptacle” can be a symptom of sexual abuse. Children who are victims of rape, forced incest and/or sexual abuse often leave their feces on the floor of a bathroom or spread them on the walls. It is a very sad cry for help.
Feb 29, 2012 at 8:16 am rating: 0
Comments are Closed