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Entries from February 2012

The Vicar of Glibly

February 6th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

The vicarage drive is in constant use. Please consider your ETERNAL SALVATION before parking here without permission!

related: He died for your clip art

Tags: God · London · parking · you're like so going to hell

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

February 5th, 2012 · 349 Comments

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Hi. I adopted a cat in November. Tried to maintain it on a vegan diet, but all the vets I saw say this is bad. I've decided I want to give it up and get a bunny. I posted a status on FB advertising it for adoption and no one responded. Really don't want it around me anymore. Since you have a primitive diet, would you mind adopting it?

 Sorry I don't like cats. Take it to a shelter.  Yeah, no. See, that's exactly what I'm trying to AVOID. Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?  They either already have pets or don't want any. Sorry.  Okay. Thanks for being super useful as always!

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

Tags: cats · frenemies · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2012 · self-righteous vegans · text message · Would you mind?

Wanted: Justice, with a side of fries.

February 2nd, 2012 · 65 Comments

A few days ago, says our submitter in Louisiana, a co-worker left her meal on the lunchroom table while she went to the restroom. When she came back, she discovered that some brazen mo-fo had jacked her sandwich, leaving the empty bag behind.

“Being from the Creative Marketing department,” our submitter says, “she decided to fight back against the food thief with this.”

Wanted: Justice. With a Side of Fries.

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

extra credit: Crime Scene Sandwich Bags

Tags: Baton Rouge · food · stealing

…and then there’s the glass half-full approach.

February 1st, 2012 · 47 Comments

There’s the typical New York City note…

"Please do not unplug the coffeemaker" "PLEASE DO NOT USE WHIMSICAL FONTS"

And then there’s the Willamette Valley way…

Well, at least it's not Papyrus.

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Tags: Comic Sans Alert · most popular notes of 2012 · New York · Oregon · smartass