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Well, that’s terrifying.

March 6th, 2012 · 35 comments

Though this may look like the the bloody rantings of a serial killer, Tino in Stuttgart, Germany says this was simply his flatmate’s way of stating his displeasure at the ongoing lack of parity in toilet-paper purchasing.

(Tino’s rough translation: YOU ASSES[,] BUY SOME TOILET PAPER.)


And my favorite part…


related: Comrades, take notice!

FILED UNDER: Deutsche · Germany · heart · roommates · toilet paper

35 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Batman

    Holy. Crap.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:21 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      That’s why he needed the toilet paper. Holy crap is the worst kind.

      Mar 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

  • #2   Spooky

    First I read it, then I did it.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:23 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #3   Dee

    After this, I’m requiring my next roommate to get a psych evaluation prior to move-in. Yikes.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:25 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #4   BLA

    It wipes the toilet paper (with lotion) on its skin, or else it gets the bidet again.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:25 am   rating: 53  small thumbs up

  • #5   bookworm

    Buy your own toilet paper and hide it in your room. It’s what your less-insane housemates are doing anyway.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:26 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Jorpho


      You might assume that others may only be using your toilet paper gradually, or may be using their own toilet paper, or will surely be willing to contribute to a communal Toilet Paper Fund otherwise.

      Your housemates, on the other hand, assume the toilet paper is a free gift from the magical Toilet Paper Fairy.

      The optimal solution, of course, is just to move out and forget about living with housemates ever again.

      Mar 7, 2012 at 9:48 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #6   thrall


    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:28 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

  • #7   Cambrie

    was that written in blood, or lipstick?

    Mar 6, 2012 at 11:55 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Dave

      I believe it was written after drinking five gallons of punch and a 2 pound bag of flour. I won’t say what it was written WITH.

      Mar 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #8   Arsch

    I like the detail in the background: the green toilet seat / lid says something beginning with “Scheiss” (“shit”)

    Mar 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      Ah, bachelors.

      Mar 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   April

      Hahaha, I opened the comments just to see if anyone else noticed that, lol

      Mar 7, 2012 at 2:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   The Elf

      I wonder if the Scheiss lid is for a “shelf” or a “reverse bowl” toilet? Apparantly, it’s a German thing that puts the drain for the water in the far front and has no “slope” in the back to direct the “deposits”. It holds the feces out of the water on a shelf, presumably for a thorough inspection before flushing.

      This tells me more about Germany than any aspect of their history. Truly.

      Mar 7, 2012 at 8:45 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   Libby

      That was my favourite part. :)

      Apr 3, 2012 at 5:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #9   Seanette

    This is “look for new housing time” for the roomies.

    Preferably before they become cold cuts.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #10   Garrett

    At least he didn’t use…other things to write on the wall.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 1:43 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #11   infanttyrone

    Wonder why Greeks are rioting over austerity measures ?
    Needing Germans to help bail you out generates serious ambivalence.
    Imagine being on the receiving end of this sort of rage on a national level.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 2:10 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   berritorre

      The greeks are rioting because they noticed that their scam has blasted and now they’ll have to do some serious changes to get out of this sh*t.

      Of course they would prefer the EU (and thus Germany as one of the biggest payers) just to send the money so they can continue as they did the last few years. But I guess even the Germans have learned a few things over the years.

      To me that place looks like a shared flat of some “punks”. I guess they are the same everywhere, cultivating some sort of in-home anarchism. :-)

      I find it quite funny and I think the whole scenery is emphasizing the case. *lol*

      Mar 7, 2012 at 5:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #12   Bethany B.

    At least it wasn’t written by a woman…

    Mar 6, 2012 at 4:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #13   wright1

    Nevermind invoking Godwin, it makes sense this is from the same cultural background that produced some of the most terrifying What-Happens-To-Bad-Children-(Fairy)Tales ever.

    Mar 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Annaliesa

      Spieluhr by Rammstein (Speaking of Rammstein) – creepy.

      Mar 8, 2012 at 8:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   Tatterdemalion

    We all know everything sounds more metal in German.

    Mar 7, 2012 at 12:59 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      These will be the lyrics to the next Rammstein song.

      Mar 7, 2012 at 8:15 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #15   Grant

    I’m genuinely scared.

    Mar 7, 2012 at 3:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   M L

    Well, there goes the security deposit.

    Mar 7, 2012 at 6:18 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #17   Zorin

    Let’s see, causing damage costing far more than a nice supply of toilet paper, in order to call for the purchasing of toilet paper?

    This guy is deranged.

    This is definitely a “move the hell out” signal.

    Mar 7, 2012 at 8:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   berritorre

      *lol* They’ll have to repaint anyway, when they move out…

      Mar 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   Frau

    Toilet paper costs like 2 Euro in Germany. The cost of repainting that WC is going to be at least 20 Euro..what a shitty roommate! No pun intended.

    Mar 7, 2012 at 9:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Annaliesa

      I was thinking the same thing. It’s toilet paper. Who gives a shit.

      Mar 8, 2012 at 8:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   The Elf

      He can’t give a shit! He has no toilet paper!

      Mar 9, 2012 at 6:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #19   Lily

    It’s like REDRUM but in German! And with a heart. Aw.

    Mar 7, 2012 at 11:08 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #20   Brian H

    Is that german for “Burn in hell Sheldon”

    Mar 7, 2012 at 1:25 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #21   We shall speak Anon

    There’s no Klopapier
    I needed to “plop”-papier
    Roomies won’t go to the “shop”-papier
    Might have to make them “drop”-papier!

    Mar 7, 2012 at 4:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #22   Dima

    That’s way beyond the “passive” in “passive-agressive”. :-D

    Mar 8, 2012 at 7:05 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up


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