Grow an orange tree and grow up.

March 8th, 2012 · 38 comments

Oh goody, this argument again!

TOO MUCH NASTY COCA-COLA NOT ENOUGH OJ! O.J has been set free! Take a stab at it :) What? This is a Coke machine! Grow an orange tree and grow up. While we're all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that this machine carry booze? Think on it. 4LOCO mofo!

related: Enough with the fruit juices and diet sodas!

FILED UNDER: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama


38 responses so far ↓

  • #1   SeeYouInTea

    I absolutely love the 2nd note.

    Mar 8, 2012 at 9:12 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Tea

    Team: booze in the pop machine.

    Mar 8, 2012 at 9:13 pm   rating: 77  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   thrall

      I’ve seen vending machines in Japan that will produce bottles of whiskey for your pleasure. Of course along with other well-discussed items.

      BTW, what are the sundry, apparently blank post-it notes all about?

      Mar 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Poltergeist

      The blank notes are simply there for convenience in case anybody else wants to voice their idiotic opinions. In the time it might take an individual to locate a sheet of paper, they may have forgotten what they wanted to write, which would be a insult to all things good and PA.

      Mar 8, 2012 at 11:49 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   The Elf

      Think of how much better work could be if you could buy a Coke *and* a mini of rum in the vending machine!

      Mar 9, 2012 at 6:39 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   The White Clouds of Opium bang

      I should like a vending machine that dispenses joints and ammunition.

      We can make that happen.

      Mar 10, 2012 at 8:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Ed.D.

    Where is this from? I know that graffiti face.

    Mar 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Bobbert

      It’s ‘Obey Giant’ (fun fact it’s actually Andre the Giant’s face)

      Mar 8, 2012 at 11:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Jami

      Andre? I always thought it was Al Capone.

      Mar 10, 2012 at 12:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Melissa

      Oh yeah, that’s right! It looked like OJ to me!

      Mar 10, 2012 at 2:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Blasphemer

    I’m just happy to see the Shepard Fairey sticker making an appearance.

    Mar 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Sir Puke

    Keep fruit juice out of Coke machine as it cuts into the selection nasty soft drinks.
    Keep orange juice out of the orange crush as well.

    Mar 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Grant

      I think that’s a Fanta, see?

      Mar 9, 2012 at 8:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Who passed out the Haterade?

    Run, OJ, run!

    Mar 8, 2012 at 11:25 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Bryan

    Who has sticky notes on dek ready to comment back or are you to tell me they see this then write a note after getting the post it sticky note

    Mar 9, 2012 at 12:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   coolidge

      what

      Mar 9, 2012 at 6:07 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   kate

      I’ll translate:

      Who carries post it notes with them at all times to write a reply? I guess they could see the note there, then go and get a post it note on which to write their reply.

      Mar 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Bryan

    After going and getting the post it sticky note* grammar nazis enjoy I’m on an iPad n don’t care

    Mar 9, 2012 at 12:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   FeRD bang

      That might be an excuse for a few typos. It’s not an excuse for speaking in tongues, like your previous comment!

      What’s the point of repeatedly ramming your sausage-fingers into the touchscreen so you can stab out a message, at all, if the result is going to be indecipherable to anyone reading it?? Seems easier to just not bother.

      Mar 9, 2012 at 2:13 am   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   The Elf

      English, motherfucker, do you speak it?

      Mar 9, 2012 at 6:44 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Nahhh bang

      Oooooh. He has an IPAD! Ooooooooooh!

      [Yeah, and I had to edit this but I care.]

      Mar 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   The White Clouds of Opium bang

      When your fingers are saturated with french fry grease, even a semi-coherent screed is quite impressive. This is an individual of great skill.

      Mar 10, 2012 at 9:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   bookworm

      Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t get lazy when they log onto their iPad? What is it about those devices that causes everyone else’s fingers (and brains) to break?

      Mar 10, 2012 at 11:23 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Just to say

      i love you Ferd!

      Mar 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   FeRD bang

      ***blush*** :oops:

      Oh, P.S to Bryan: You don’t have to fill in “n/a” for the Website field, when posting here. You can just leave it blank. That way, the system won’t turn your name into an invalid hyperlink.

      Mar 12, 2012 at 6:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   FeRD bang

    See, I think this whole post-it cascade could have been prevented, since it seems to have resulted from an initial misinterpretation.

    The way I read it, the initial note is actually two separate complaints, presented together. The notewriter is complaining that:

       1. There’s too much nasty
       2. Coke contains insufficient amounts of Orange Juice for their liking

    Now, #1 is obviously a reference to the scandalous amounts of office sex that the notewriter’s been privy to lately — and excluded from, one assumes, or there’d be little call for complaint. Sounds like some co-workers need to be a bit more discreet… at least wear an overcoat to cover their harnesses and rubber gear, when they wear sexcessories to the workplace in anticipation of some break-room sexytime rumpus.

    Complaint #2, well, that’s really indisputable. Coke contains, to my knowledge, exactly 0% orange juice, so that would at best satisfy most people’s expectations… and, surely, there must be some people who would prefer a higher OJ content. And, of course, this being a Coke machine, the notewriter has precious little hope of being provided with Mountain Dew as an alternative. Too bad, so sad! :cry:

    If only the note had been properly interpreted from the beginning, all of this post-it warring could have been avoided!

    Mar 9, 2012 at 2:37 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   infanttyrone

      Yikes…best of luck with that interpretation…

      Care to take a stab at Sister Ray by the Velvet Underground ?

      Mar 9, 2012 at 3:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   FeRD bang

      You know what REALLY blew my mind? I realized, after I posted my analysis of the first note’s duality, that all of the notes could be interpreted this way!

      So, if you assume that every one of the notewriters here is a horribly conflicted, borderline-schizoid fruitcake (which doesn’t really feel like that much of a leap), then you find two simultaneous conversations intertwined in the post-its:

      (1)
      Too much NASTY
      O.J. has been set free!
      What? This is a Coke machine <self-important thick exclamation point>
      While we’re all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that the machine carry booze?
      4LOCO

      (2)
      Coca-Cola not enough O.J.!
      Take a stab at it <inane right-side-up smiley>[*]
      Grow an orange tree, an grow up.
      Think on it.
      MOFO <pretentious oversized outline exclamation point>

      [*]Or… maybe a really terrible sketch of a bunny rabbit.

      Mar 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Suz

    After reading the 4th note, I have to agree with the original note …. I mean, what good would vodka be without some orange juice? or tomato juice? Gotta keep the Coke, though …. you know, for the rum ;)

    Mar 9, 2012 at 10:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Lily

    I love the considerateness of leaving blank post-it notes for others to join in on this “conversation.”

    Mar 9, 2012 at 11:50 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Adriana

    Orange soda is clearly the best compromise and only solution here.

    Mar 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Nahhh bang

      Or premixed screwdrivers. Yummmm.

      Mar 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Melissa

    What could be nastier than CANNED orange juice?

    Mar 10, 2012 at 2:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Santorum.

      Mar 10, 2012 at 11:32 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   The Elf

      CANNED santorum.

      Mar 12, 2012 at 7:07 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Pilgrimchick

    This is a great example of a collaborative think-tank.

    Mar 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   FeRD bang

      I believe it’s a drink-tank, actually.

      Mar 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   anna

    It’s a bit unfunny, the first three notes have been written by the same person as evidenced by the handwriting. They didn’t even bother to change the pen.

    Mar 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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