Oh goody, this argument again!
related: Enough with the fruit juices and diet sodas!
FILED UNDER: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama
I absolutely love the 2nd note.
Mar 8, 2012 at 9:12 pm rating: 35
Team: booze in the pop machine.
Mar 8, 2012 at 9:13 pm rating: 77
I’ve seen vending machines in Japan that will produce bottles of whiskey for your pleasure. Of course along with other well-discussed items.
BTW, what are the sundry, apparently blank post-it notes all about?
Mar 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm rating: 7
The blank notes are simply there for convenience in case anybody else wants to voice their idiotic opinions. In the time it might take an individual to locate a sheet of paper, they may have forgotten what they wanted to write, which would be a insult to all things good and PA.
Mar 8, 2012 at 11:49 pm rating: 25
Think of how much better work could be if you could buy a Coke *and* a mini of rum in the vending machine!
Mar 9, 2012 at 6:39 am rating: 9
The White Clouds of Opium
I should like a vending machine that dispenses joints and ammunition.
We can make that happen.
Mar 10, 2012 at 8:59 am rating: 3
Where is this from? I know that graffiti face.
Mar 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm rating: 2
It’s ‘Obey Giant’ (fun fact it’s actually Andre the Giant’s face)
Mar 8, 2012 at 11:59 pm rating: 3
Andre? I always thought it was Al Capone.
Mar 10, 2012 at 12:45 am rating: 0
Oh yeah, that’s right! It looked like OJ to me!
Mar 10, 2012 at 2:12 am rating: 0
I’m just happy to see the Shepard Fairey sticker making an appearance.
Mar 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 8
Keep fruit juice out of Coke machine as it cuts into the selection nasty soft drinks.
Keep orange juice out of the orange crush as well.
Mar 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 3
I think that’s a Fanta, see?
Mar 9, 2012 at 8:20 am rating: 8
Who passed out the Haterade?
Run, OJ, run!
Mar 8, 2012 at 11:25 pm rating: 14
Who has sticky notes on dek ready to comment back or are you to tell me they see this then write a note after getting the post it sticky note
Mar 9, 2012 at 12:12 am rating: 0
Mar 9, 2012 at 6:07 pm rating: 6
Who carries post it notes with them at all times to write a reply? I guess they could see the note there, then go and get a post it note on which to write their reply.
Mar 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm rating: 12
After going and getting the post it sticky note* grammar nazis enjoy I’m on an iPad n don’t care
Mar 9, 2012 at 12:13 am rating: 1
That might be an excuse for a few typos. It’s not an excuse for speaking in tongues, like your previous comment!
What’s the point of repeatedly ramming your sausage-fingers into the touchscreen so you can stab out a message, at all, if the result is going to be indecipherable to anyone reading it?? Seems easier to just not bother.
Mar 9, 2012 at 2:13 am rating: 58
English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
Mar 9, 2012 at 6:44 am rating: 26
Oooooh. He has an IPAD! Ooooooooooh!
[Yeah, and I had to edit this but I care.]
Mar 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm rating: 10
The White Clouds of Opium
When your fingers are saturated with french fry grease, even a semi-coherent screed is quite impressive. This is an individual of great skill.
Mar 10, 2012 at 9:05 am rating: 4
Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t get lazy when they log onto their iPad? What is it about those devices that causes everyone else’s fingers (and brains) to break?
Mar 10, 2012 at 11:23 am rating: 7
Just to say
i love you Ferd!
Mar 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm rating: 4
Oh, P.S to Bryan: You don’t have to fill in “n/a” for the Website field, when posting here. You can just leave it blank. That way, the system won’t turn your name into an invalid hyperlink.
Mar 12, 2012 at 6:13 pm rating: 2
See, I think this whole post-it cascade could have been prevented, since it seems to have resulted from an initial misinterpretation.
The way I read it, the initial note is actually two separate complaints, presented together. The notewriter is complaining that:
1. There’s too much nasty
2. Coke contains insufficient amounts of Orange Juice for their liking
Now, #1 is obviously a reference to the scandalous amounts of office sex that the notewriter’s been privy to lately — and excluded from, one assumes, or there’d be little call for complaint. Sounds like some co-workers need to be a bit more discreet… at least wear an overcoat to cover their harnesses and rubber gear, when they wear sexcessories to the workplace in anticipation of some break-room sexytime rumpus.
Complaint #2, well, that’s really indisputable. Coke contains, to my knowledge, exactly 0% orange juice, so that would at best satisfy most people’s expectations… and, surely, there must be some people who would prefer a higher OJ content. And, of course, this being a Coke machine, the notewriter has precious little hope of being provided with Mountain Dew as an alternative. Too bad, so sad!
If only the note had been properly interpreted from the beginning, all of this post-it warring could have been avoided!
Mar 9, 2012 at 2:37 am rating: 23
Yikes…best of luck with that interpretation…
Care to take a stab at Sister Ray by the Velvet Underground ?
Mar 9, 2012 at 3:11 am rating: 5
You know what REALLY blew my mind? I realized, after I posted my analysis of the first note’s duality, that all of the notes could be interpreted this way!
So, if you assume that every one of the notewriters here is a horribly conflicted, borderline-schizoid fruitcake (which doesn’t really feel like that much of a leap), then you find two simultaneous conversations intertwined in the post-its:
Too much NASTY
O.J. has been set free!
What? This is a Coke machine <self-important thick exclamation point>
While we’re all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that the machine carry booze?
Coca-Cola not enough O.J.!
Take a stab at it <inane right-side-up smiley>[*]
Grow an orange tree, an grow up.
Think on it.
MOFO <pretentious oversized outline exclamation point>
[*] — Or… maybe a really terrible sketch of a bunny rabbit.
Mar 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm rating: 2
After reading the 4th note, I have to agree with the original note …. I mean, what good would vodka be without some orange juice? or tomato juice? Gotta keep the Coke, though …. you know, for the rum
Mar 9, 2012 at 10:29 am rating: 3
I love the considerateness of leaving blank post-it notes for others to join in on this “conversation.”
Mar 9, 2012 at 11:50 am rating: 11
Orange soda is clearly the best compromise and only solution here.
Mar 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm rating: 7
Or premixed screwdrivers. Yummmm.
Mar 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm rating: 5
What could be nastier than CANNED orange juice?
Mar 10, 2012 at 2:14 am rating: 10
Who passed out the Haterade?
Mar 10, 2012 at 11:32 am rating: 24
Mar 12, 2012 at 7:07 am rating: 11
This is a great example of a collaborative think-tank.
Mar 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm rating: 2
I believe it’s a drink-tank, actually.
Mar 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm rating: 5
It’s a bit unfunny, the first three notes have been written by the same person as evidenced by the handwriting. They didn’t even bother to change the pen.
Mar 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
— Ed Decatur
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
most popular notes of 2013
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?