Dave in London returned home one day to find all of his clothes missing. Apparently, this was his roommate’s rationale.
related: “Dollar sign flower slams easily”
FILED UNDER: door-slamming · London · roommates
Um, I’m sorry “Crazy Roommate with Abysmal Spelling and Grammar Skills” but I don’t really follow your logic.
Mar 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm rating: 55
I knew it was a bad idea to furlough those Grammar Police officers.
Either set up a speed trap on Elm St. or have a bake sale with stash out of the evidence room, but we need to get back those heroes in blue pencil.
Mar 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm rating: 12
the point is the housmate is a nutcase and dave needs to leave there pronto.
Mar 13, 2012 at 10:05 pm rating: 19
I’d still rather have this roommate than the self-righteous vegan one.
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:06 am rating: 26
If you imagine it being read aloud by the crazy unemployed British roommate from Bridesmaids, it really works.
Mar 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm rating: 42
I read it more like Joey on Friends. We just need him wearing all the roommate’s clothing and doing lunges.
Mar 13, 2012 at 11:54 pm rating: 23
Except that her accent was appallingly bad and not at all British-like.
Mar 14, 2012 at 2:19 am rating: 1
There are different British accents and I thought hers sounded much like Russell Brand’s.
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:38 am rating: 1
There’s no such thing as a ‘british’ accent… there’s english/irish/scottish or welsh though. all sound very different. and i thought the roomate in bridesmaids’ accent was fine.
Mar 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm rating: 6
She’s an Australian actress: Rebel Wilson. I’m Australian, and didn’t pick her as such. I thought she was fine as a Brit. Matt Lucas was brilliant. I didn’t pick Rose Byrne as Australian either.
Mar 14, 2012 at 10:49 pm rating: 1
Speaking as a Real Live British Person(tm), I can confirm that Russell Brand’s accent is not a real accent that you can hear spoken regionally in any part of the British Isles either. He is that rare breed of English actors who make up a fake accent because real English accents don’t sound English enough to an American audience.
Apples and pears, me old china!
Mar 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm rating: 11
Danielle has said it all.
Mar 13, 2012 at 4:58 pm rating: 0
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:47 am rating: 0
“When you slammed the door last night, I woke up and have felt sleep-deprived all day. To retaliate, I decided to wig the fuck out and dispose of all your clothes. I hope you get the point.” There, that’s a little better.
Mar 13, 2012 at 4:59 pm rating: 48
Took != dispose of.
Just saying. Doesn’t make the note any less bizarre, just less malicious.
Mar 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm rating: 1
The good news is that moving/taking/disposing/whatever all of someone’s clothing is really a lot of trouble. At least Roommate was self-punishing.
Mar 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm rating: 8
Unless the door slammer didn’t have that many clothing items to begin with.
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:39 am rating: 1
Perhaps it’s being a UNC fan on the verge of March Madness here in the US, but I read that first bit as “When you slam the Dook”! (That’s Duke U., UNC’s archrival, for all you non-US-college-basketball folks out there.)
Mar 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm rating: 3
Ha! I did too. (I live in NC)
Mar 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm rating: 0
Why not get rid of the door?
Mar 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm rating: 29
I feel that getting rid of the roommate is quite the more rational response.
Mar 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm rating: 31
When you took all my clothes, I felt deprived of warmth and protection all day. Therefore, I have poisoned all your food. I hope you got the point.
Mar 14, 2012 at 9:08 am rating: 77
Elf, you made me giggle out loud!
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:59 am rating: 2
When you poisoned all my food I spent an hour hurling into the toilet and nearly died. Therefore, I’ve acquired some dynamite and blew up the apartment. I hope you get the point.
Mar 14, 2012 at 6:43 pm rating: 22
Beep Beep !!
Mar 14, 2012 at 6:56 pm rating: 4
I presume the point you are trying to make is that you are fucking nuts.
Mar 13, 2012 at 7:41 pm rating: 26
Well…I’ve heard that sleep deprivation can make people do crazy things.
(Not that I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt.)
Mar 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm rating: 3
I, too, have heard such a thing. However, I believe the sleep-deprived wigging-out to which you refer was DAYS of deprivation, not a few hours. Roomie is nucking futs.
Mar 14, 2012 at 12:19 am rating: 7
Those Ws and Ls are killing me.
Mar 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm rating: 4
The first time I read this, I thought it said “I hope you got the pout”.
After reading the hovertext transcript, I think my first reading makes just as much sense.
Mar 13, 2012 at 11:00 pm rating: 16
If it went on for 5 days, it could be the pout quintet.
Mar 14, 2012 at 10:53 pm rating: 0
If it has a 5/4 time signature, it could be the Dave Brubeck Quartet.
Mar 15, 2012 at 12:55 am rating: 2
Dave, take him to small claims or something, because I’m pretty sure in most civilized places, it’s an offense to dispose of someone’s property like that. Roommate is a complete asshole. Overreact much?
Mar 14, 2012 at 8:56 am rating: 3
Depending on the value of the clothes, small claims court may not even be worth it. You have to pay court filing fees and other court fees before anything can even get rolling. And even if the judge rules in your favour, you won’t necessarily get the money back if the guy won’t pay you.
Mar 14, 2012 at 10:53 am rating: 2
Take him on Judge Judy. I’d love to hear what she has to say about behavior. That would be soooo funny!
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:50 am rating: 2
Surely when you take someone to court you include your legal costs in the amount you’re claiming(?) It’s a gamble if you’re not sure how strong your case is, but if you think you’ve really got a case there’s absolutely nothing to lose. I’d say someone stealing your property and destroying it, and then leaving a note to say that’s what they did, makes a pretty good case.
Mar 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm rating: 1
neighbor with kid
pot calling the ketel black. grow up.
Apr 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
I would totally be naked as much as possible around my roommate if he pulled that. And if he complains, tell him you don’t have any clothes.
And even if he returned them, I’d still be nude citing my forced nudity grew on me.
Mar 14, 2012 at 11:47 am rating: 37
Love it! And since your nudist lifestyle has caused you to examine your body more closely, you’ve started an intense calorie-burning workout complete with lots of stretching, lunges and jumping around.
Mar 14, 2012 at 12:12 pm rating: 19
The point? The point being that the roomie goes a little batshit crazy when he doesn’t get his full and refreshing 8.
Mar 14, 2012 at 12:02 pm rating: 0
Seems simple enough. He has a confession of personal theft right there on the piece of paper. Hello? Police? I’d like to report a theft, here’s the evidence.
When you start stealing people’s personal items it’s gone beyond “basic roommate dispute”
Mar 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm rating: 7
Dear roommate who took my clothes:
Guess what’s getting slammed next. Watch your head…
Former roomie who will help you sleep for a long time – with the fishes.
Mar 14, 2012 at 9:02 pm rating: 9
This demands a study. Do the nude close doors any more quietly than the clothed?
I took your doorknob. I placed all of your clothes in your doorway. I decided not to be a shit and rolled over and went back to sleep all sound just a bit more sane.
Mar 16, 2012 at 2:12 am rating: 6
This made me think of this passive agresssive but very funny video made by an angry room mate.
The Butter Floor Prank.
Mar 16, 2012 at 8:28 am rating: 0
The proper response is to take the offending party’s sheets, soak them in water, and throw them in the freezer.
Mar 16, 2012 at 8:39 am rating: 1
When you took my clothes it deprived me of clothes, so I burned the house down with your family still inside. I hope you got the point.
Mar 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm rating: 5
deprivation!, that is the f****** point, it only takes another nut-job to get it…
Mar 19, 2012 at 1:09 pm rating: 0
My neighbors do the same thing. Plus they’re a bunch of teenage boys and I am a mother with a small child. They guys had their parents call the landlord and tell him I’m harrassing them. They also spat on a sign I put up with a sleeping baby bunny cartoon that says, Please do not run on the stairs. They swear they weren’t the ones who did it but it wasn’t the 40yr-old upstairs or the family across the hall. I’ve lived here 2yrs they’ve lived here 3months. I’m so sick of this crap. I’d steal all their shit or do something equally nasty but the landlord said if I ever speak to them again I’m kicked out. (All I’ve ever said to them was “KEEP IT DOWN” may be 3xs)
Apr 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
*otherwise known as nieghbor with kid.
Here’s the note I put up on my wall after the spitting incident, it’s none too passive, but it did the job.
Who-Ever Spit On This:
All I did was ask you to be quiet
If you can’t handle that it’s your problem not mine.
When you do you’ll realise how rediculous you’re being
My baby has the right to sleep at night without an adult waking her up because they think it’s “playtime”
Apr 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm rating: 0
— The Elf
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
most popular notes of 2013
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?