Right…that seems like a logical response.

March 13th, 2012 · 49 comments

Dave in London returned home one day to find all of his clothes missing. Apparently, this was his roommate’s rationale.

When you slam the door I woke up and feel deprived of sleep all night. Therefore I took your clothes. I hope you got the point.

related: “Dollar sign flower slams easily”

FILED UNDER: door-slamming · London · roommates


49 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Danielle

    Um, I’m sorry “Crazy Roommate with Abysmal Spelling and Grammar Skills” but I don’t really follow your logic.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   infanttyrone

      I knew it was a bad idea to furlough those Grammar Police officers.

      Either set up a speed trap on Elm St. or have a bake sale with stash out of the evidence room, but we need to get back those heroes in blue pencil.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   p'bee

      the point is the housmate is a nutcase and dave needs to leave there pronto.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 10:05 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Derek

      I’d still rather have this roommate than the self-righteous vegan one.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 11:06 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Melodie

    If you imagine it being read aloud by the crazy unemployed British roommate from Bridesmaids, it really works.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jami

      I read it more like Joey on Friends. We just need him wearing all the roommate’s clothing and doing lunges.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 11:54 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Lucy

      Except that her accent was appallingly bad and not at all British-like.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 2:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   redheadwglasses

      There are different British accents and I thought hers sounded much like Russell Brand’s.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 11:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   lauren

      There’s no such thing as a ‘british’ accent… there’s english/irish/scottish or welsh though. all sound very different. and i thought the roomate in bridesmaids’ accent was fine.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   park rose

      She’s an Australian actress: Rebel Wilson. I’m Australian, and didn’t pick her as such. I thought she was fine as a Brit. Matt Lucas was brilliant. I didn’t pick Rose Byrne as Australian either.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 10:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      Speaking as a Real Live British Person(tm), I can confirm that Russell Brand’s accent is not a real accent that you can hear spoken regionally in any part of the British Isles either. He is that rare breed of English actors who make up a fake accent because real English accents don’t sound English enough to an American audience.

      Apples and pears, me old china!

      Mar 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Barbara

    Danielle has said it all.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 4:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Danielle

      Thanks, Barbara.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   JRS

    “When you slammed the door last night, I woke up and have felt sleep-deprived all day. To retaliate, I decided to wig the fuck out and dispose of all your clothes. I hope you get the point.” There, that’s a little better.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 4:59 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kmd

      Took != dispose of.

      Just saying. Doesn’t make the note any less bizarre, just less malicious.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   thrall

      The good news is that moving/taking/disposing/whatever all of someone’s clothing is really a lot of trouble. At least Roommate was self-punishing.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   bookworm

      Unless the door slammer didn’t have that many clothing items to begin with.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 11:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   dixiechick

    Perhaps it’s being a UNC fan on the verge of March Madness here in the US, but I read that first bit as “When you slam the Dook”! (That’s Duke U., UNC’s archrival, for all you non-US-college-basketball folks out there.)

    Mar 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   cleanslate

      Ha! I did too. (I live in NC)

      Mar 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Smokey

    Why not get rid of the door?

    Mar 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   thrall

      I feel that getting rid of the roommate is quite the more rational response.

      Mar 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      Dear Roomie,

      When you took all my clothes, I felt deprived of warmth and protection all day. Therefore, I have poisoned all your food. I hope you got the point.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 9:08 am   rating: 77  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Tesselara

      Elf, you made me giggle out loud!

      Mar 14, 2012 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Zorin

      Dear Roomie,

      When you poisoned all my food I spent an hour hurling into the toilet and nearly died. Therefore, I’ve acquired some dynamite and blew up the apartment. I hope you get the point.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 6:43 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   infanttyrone

      Beep Beep !!

      Mar 14, 2012 at 6:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Quite Contrary

    I presume the point you are trying to make is that you are fucking nuts.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 7:41 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   theonetruejenn

    Well…I’ve heard that sleep deprivation can make people do crazy things.

    (Not that I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

    Mar 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   AuntyBron

      I, too, have heard such a thing. However, I believe the sleep-deprived wigging-out to which you refer was DAYS of deprivation, not a few hours. Roomie is nucking futs.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 12:19 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   SeeYouInTea

    Those Ws and Ls are killing me.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   kermit

    The first time I read this, I thought it said “I hope you got the pout”.

    After reading the hovertext transcript, I think my first reading makes just as much sense.

    Mar 13, 2012 at 11:00 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   park rose

      If it went on for 5 days, it could be the pout quintet.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 10:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   infanttyrone

      If it has a 5/4 time signature, it could be the Dave Brubeck Quartet.

      Mar 15, 2012 at 12:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   cate

    Dave, take him to small claims or something, because I’m pretty sure in most civilized places, it’s an offense to dispose of someone’s property like that. Roommate is a complete asshole. Overreact much?

    Mar 14, 2012 at 8:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   kermit

      Depending on the value of the clothes, small claims court may not even be worth it. You have to pay court filing fees and other court fees before anything can even get rolling. And even if the judge rules in your favour, you won’t necessarily get the money back if the guy won’t pay you.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 10:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Danielle

      Take him on Judge Judy. I’d love to hear what she has to say about behavior. That would be soooo funny!

      Mar 14, 2012 at 11:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      Surely when you take someone to court you include your legal costs in the amount you’re claiming(?) It’s a gamble if you’re not sure how strong your case is, but if you think you’ve really got a case there’s absolutely nothing to lose. I’d say someone stealing your property and destroying it, and then leaving a note to say that’s what they did, makes a pretty good case.

      Mar 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   neighbor with kid

      pot calling the ketel black. grow up.

      Apr 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Garrett

    I would totally be naked as much as possible around my roommate if he pulled that. And if he complains, tell him you don’t have any clothes.

    And even if he returned them, I’d still be nude citing my forced nudity grew on me.

    Mar 14, 2012 at 11:47 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Lil'

      Love it! And since your nudist lifestyle has caused you to examine your body more closely, you’ve started an intense calorie-burning workout complete with lots of stretching, lunges and jumping around.

      Mar 14, 2012 at 12:12 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Tesselara

    The point? The point being that the roomie goes a little batshit crazy when he doesn’t get his full and refreshing 8.

    Mar 14, 2012 at 12:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   warns

    Seems simple enough. He has a confession of personal theft right there on the piece of paper. Hello? Police? I’d like to report a theft, here’s the evidence.

    When you start stealing people’s personal items it’s gone beyond “basic roommate dispute”

    Mar 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   deprogrammed

    Dear roommate who took my clothes:

    Guess what’s getting slammed next. Watch your head…

    Signed,

    Former roomie who will help you sleep for a long time – with the fishes.

    Mar 14, 2012 at 9:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    This demands a study. Do the nude close doors any more quietly than the clothed?

    I took your doorknob. I placed all of your clothes in your doorway. I decided not to be a shit and rolled over and went back to sleep all sound just a bit more sane.

    Mar 16, 2012 at 2:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Michele

    This made me think of this passive agresssive but very funny video made by an angry room mate.

    The Butter Floor Prank.

    http://youtu.be/0EEgM92_LGU

    Mar 16, 2012 at 8:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Valerie

    The proper response is to take the offending party’s sheets, soak them in water, and throw them in the freezer.

    Mar 16, 2012 at 8:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    When you took my clothes it deprived me of clothes, so I burned the house down with your family still inside. I hope you got the point.

    Mar 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   latin-aggressive

    deprivation!, that is the f****** point, it only takes another nut-job to get it…

    Mar 19, 2012 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   happy

    My neighbors do the same thing. Plus they’re a bunch of teenage boys and I am a mother with a small child. They guys had their parents call the landlord and tell him I’m harrassing them. They also spat on a sign I put up with a sleeping baby bunny cartoon that says, Please do not run on the stairs. They swear they weren’t the ones who did it but it wasn’t the 40yr-old upstairs or the family across the hall. I’ve lived here 2yrs they’ve lived here 3months. I’m so sick of this crap. I’d steal all their shit or do something equally nasty but the landlord said if I ever speak to them again I’m kicked out. (All I’ve ever said to them was “KEEP IT DOWN” may be 3xs)

    Apr 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   happy

    *otherwise known as nieghbor with kid.

    Here’s the note I put up on my wall after the spitting incident, it’s none too passive, but it did the job.

    Who-Ever Spit On This:

    You’re disgusting

    All I did was ask you to be quiet
    If you can’t handle that it’s your problem not mine.
    GROW UP
    When you do you’ll realise how rediculous you’re being
    My baby has the right to sleep at night without an adult waking her up because they think it’s “playtime”

    Apr 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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