Well done, Andy.
related: Yogurt thieves!
An open letter to the person who ate my yogurt
March 19th, 2012 · 128 comments
FILED UNDER: fridge · most popular notes of 2012 · sarcasm · TL;DR · yogurt
FILED UNDER: fridge · most popular notes of 2012 · sarcasm · TL;DR · yogurt
128 responses so far ↓
#1
Oops
The photo is set to private.
Mar 19, 2012 at 7:53 pm rating: 90
#2
pockets
Hmm. Someone has too much time on their hands. It isn’t even that good of a note. On a clever scale I would give it a 4, and I think that is being generous. Not that I think this post is the most clever, but I didn’t waste an hour of my time doing it either.
Mar 19, 2012 at 7:54 pm rating: 90
#3
Deb Katz
Yogurt thievery. Will the madness never end? Gurt-tard.
Mar 19, 2012 at 7:56 pm rating: 90
#4
thrall
As noted in the note’s first line, the theft happened sometime during a week. Perhaps the yoghurt sat around temptingly for a few days. Perhaps it was giving out under-appreciated vibes. It certainly sounds like it was not missed promptly.
Mar 19, 2012 at 8:10 pm rating: 90
#5
JK
I don’t think Andy’s thinking big enough. This is clearly part of a grand scheme. Check other offices nearby. Have any of them experienced a rash of yogurt thievery? I think we just found the plot of Sherlock Holmes 3.
As for why the person didn’t use the spoon in the Ziploc bag…clearly they’re such an experienced thief of Greek yogurt that they brought their own utensil. This is the work of a professional, I’m tellin’ ya.
Mar 19, 2012 at 8:25 pm rating: 90
#6
Nahhh
Yogurt thieves are so uncultured.
Mar 19, 2012 at 8:36 pm rating: 90
#7
Jolly
Buy another one, lift up the foil just a tiny bit (on the opposite edge from where you’d start peeling it), get some liquid laxatives or crush up some in pill form and dissolve in a little water, then inject a more-than-pleasant amount into the yogurt pot with a syringe. Put in work fridge. Keep an eye on the bathroom door. You win.
Mar 19, 2012 at 8:44 pm rating: 90
#8
sunshynegrll
Little Known Fact: ‘Chobani’ is Greek for ‘goat smegma’. The more you know!
Mar 19, 2012 at 9:02 pm rating: 90
#9
sparklechimp
I’m team note-writer on this one. You try to be good a pack a healthy snack ahead of time so you won’t eat something bad, then some jerk steals it and derails your eating plan for the day.
Mar 19, 2012 at 9:11 pm rating: 90
#10
Dee
I want my two dollars!!
Mar 19, 2012 at 9:34 pm rating: 90
#11
weaselby
Good call, “North American” makes me salivate, too. … :-/?
Mar 19, 2012 at 10:13 pm rating: 90
#12
nick17
Team note writer. Admittedly I’m super drunk at the moment, but I am pretty sure sober me would still be team note writer. I seriously don’t understand the people who think it’s OK to steal someone else’s food. Also, please like this for how much effort it took to overcome drunk typos. Thank you!
Mar 19, 2012 at 11:29 pm rating: 90
#13
AuntyBron
If you didn’t bring it, it ain’t yours. Don’t eat it.
Is that really such a difficult concept?
‘Tain’t rocket science, you thieving bastard.
Mar 20, 2012 at 12:20 am rating: 90
#14
kermit
Sorry, Sun but I call B.S.
http://www.chobani.com/about/history/ – Chiobani is a modified spelling of Cobani (with a cedille instead of a “c”) and it means shepherd – specifically shepherds that live in Macedonia / Greece.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aromanians
Mar 20, 2012 at 12:32 am rating: 90
#15
sweet lova
On the fence on this one….
I work at a place with a few fridge freezers where people leave food for/after meetings etc. Many times I’ve done the rounds on the fridges and I end up finding lots of food which was fresh a week earlier gone past their sell-by-date and turning the fridge into a mould factory. For the most part, this is untouched/barely touched food and it’s unlabelled. I see it as a huge waste, so I started taking the food home with me, only to find angry notes next to fridges later asking whoever was taking the food to stop! Weird.
I don’t see myself as a thief by taking unlabelled food that would otherwise go bad. If people want to keep their food, they should label it or take it home. I hate waste and I hate mouldy fridges!
Now I’m not saying this is why the perpetrator took this other guy’s yoghurt, but you have to wonder….it might have been sitting unlabelled in the fridge for a while and the other guy just thought it was fair game.
Mar 20, 2012 at 4:00 am rating: 90
#16
JC
“But messing with food – especially when you don’t know what the person might be allergic to – is just not cool”
Seriously???
If a person has food allergies, it would behoove them not to steal food, wouldn’t it?
If you know you have an allergy, you’re not going to eat other people’s food. You would think, anyway.
Seems simple to me.
Mar 20, 2012 at 8:12 am rating: 90
#17
The Elf
“I’m glad you took the initiative to eat it, I clearly didn’t want it” is such a perfect example of the passive-aggressive martyr that I want to frame it. It’s only lacking in an overly dramatic sigh at the end.
Mar 20, 2012 at 9:14 am rating: 90
#18
AmyInToronto
I’m on team note writer. Chobani just recently made it to my city grocery stores. I’d been coveting this brand of yogurt every time I went to visit my partner who lives in Ohio and he could buy it readily at Sam’s Club for practically a dollar per container. Here, it’s twice as expensive, so Andy must live near me. I personally can’t justify the expense of paying $2 per small yogurt container, so I opt for the next best thing: President’s Choice Greek yogurt. It’s not Chobani, but it’s pretty damn tasty and full of protein.
My coworkers constantly use the cream I put in the communal fridge for my morning coffee, but I’ve come to expect that kind of behaviour. Most people don’t want to buy a liter of cream for their work fridge. For me, it’s about picking which battles I want to fight. I’d choose fighting over my stolen lunch and snack items over the odd coworker who takes a few mL of creamer from my carton on the sly, for their coffee.
Mar 20, 2012 at 10:32 am rating: 90
#19
Cake
That Chobani was fucking delicious.
Mar 20, 2012 at 11:38 am rating: 90
#20
Gwan
Ah geez, I’m not up for stealing anyone’s food, but this note is just so melodramatic and sanctimonious, I can’t possibly be Team Notewriter. “I hope you recycled the container”, FFS!
Mar 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm rating: 90
#21
Lily
I’ve never heard of Chobani but I want to try it now! Andy, Chobani should reimburse you for the free advertising. I’m sure it’ll come to more than $2.
Mar 20, 2012 at 3:55 pm rating: 90
#22
bookworm
Two dollars for a tiny container of yogurt? For that price, it should replace itself if it gets stolen.
Mar 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm rating: 90
#23
Merri
He should’ve made up his mind. If he was going to do the whole long winded, ‘clever’ sarcasm routine, it seems idiotic to then change up at the bottom of the page to a ‘I didn’t buy the yogurt for you, etc, etc’ rant. Bad passive aggressive form.
Mar 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm rating: 90
#24
Ajax
Chobani’s okay, but really it’s not worth all this fuss. . . . Now, Oikos . . .
Mar 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm rating: 90
#25
Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
I’ve never had a food item stolen from me at work, so I don’t really know all the details of the kind of rollercoaster of emotion that’s involved; is writing notes like this in some way cathartic for the victim? Because I can’t see any other practical benefit in writing this kind of note, since the yoghurt thief certainly isn’t interested in what the writer has to say.
Mar 20, 2012 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#26
JC
Chill, kermit. no one’s trying to kill anyone.
And it’s not illegal if I add stuff to MY OWN FOOD.
What happens to the person who steals my food is not my concern and of no consequence to me.
Mar 21, 2012 at 8:25 am rating: 90
#27
Jitty
Because of this post I last night dreamed that Jamie Lee Curtis died of a condition caused by eating Activia. Thank you, PAN
Mar 21, 2012 at 11:25 am rating: 90
#28
Former Food Thief
Take a box, wrap it in brown paper… and write tofu or something equally gross on it, and your yogurt and/or other food items will be safe from thievery.
Mar 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm rating: 90
#29
Joe Blow
I can possibly see the person taking the yogurt if it was in a fridge anything like mine at work, where people apparently love to bring in tons of food and then not eat it. Then it just sits there, taking up more and more space, until there’s no room left for the people who bring their lunch every day to store their food.
In that case, you may very well come in every morning and try to find a spot for your lunch, only to see that same damn yogurt that’s been taking up space for a while now, and decide, “You know, if that person’s not going to either eat it before it goes bad or take it back home, I’m going to eat it my goddamn self — and free up a little space at the same time.”
Mar 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
#30
Brian H
I of course don’t understand that people take stuff that’s not theirs. I see that it happens in offices all over the world and I still don’t get it. I don’t touch until it becomes a health issue.
Did you buy it? No, then don’t touch it.
I think the note is a little over the top though. I think Andy is an only child and isn’t used to dealing with this. I am too but I learned in the Army from the guys that came from big families. You could always tell who did because they put their arm around their food to guard it while they ate.
To combat it I would continue to buy it but then would put in one that I had sitting in the sun for a couple of days. Pavlov does the rest.
Mar 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm rating: 90
#31
Not...!
Ok all I want to know is if someone put the $2 in his mailbox or whatever. Update please!
Mar 21, 2012 at 6:25 pm rating: 90
#32
alanc230
You know what? This is always going to happen, everywhere. It happened in the kitchen of my college co-op house, 30 years ago. People are always going to steal food, no matter whether a name is on it or not. I’m not saying it’s OK, but you had better get used to it, Andy.
Mar 21, 2012 at 8:06 pm rating: 90
#33
Jennifer
Personally, I think yogurt tastes the way stinky feet smell.
I would reward the person for removing this biohazard from the environment instead of engaging in unnecessary chastisement.
Mar 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm rating: 90
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