Comments on: An open letter to the person who ate my yogurt

By: Whind Soull

Whind Soull — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 05:13:43 +0000

Oh, and as long as we’re on the subject…

A friend of mine has a cabin in the mountains. Some person or group of people kept breaking into it. They would steal anything of value, then smash and destroy anything left behind. This happened three or four times in a row.

His solution was to get a bottle of whiskey, spike it with a heavy dose of strychnine (rat poison), and leave it sitting out on a table in the cabin. The cabin was broken into one more time…..and then never again.

By: Whind Soull

Whind Soull — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 05:07:32 +0000

I’m honestly not sure if Kermit is a particularly unskilled troll or just an idiot.

I used to buy bowls of pre-cooked udon noodles and vegetables to take to work. Each night before work, I would get a bowl, peel the edge back a little, and dump in my choice of seasonings. The next day I would just stir and heat.

Apparently, what I did (seasoning MY own food in a manner not consistent with the labeling) was a horrible and reckless thing to do. Because, you know, on the off-chance that someone STOLE my food and was allergic to one of my seasonings, I clearly would have been guilty of murder.

So far, to Kermit, seasoning your own food is comparable to:
-Poisoning another person’s food
-Bodily eviscerating someone
-Falsely accusing someone of sexual harassment

By: kermit

kermit — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:49:11 +0000

Dr. Chalk – If you like having yeast infections, really stinky farts, and generally upset stomach due to stomach bacteria, then yeah I suppose “useful” is a little strong.

By: Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:48:07 +0000

I think the word “essential” is a little strong there. “Useful” maybe.

By: Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:46:22 +0000

If I leave a yoghurt in the fridge for a week, say; why is that different to bringing in a fresh yoghurt every day? It takes up exactly the same amount of space either way.

By: Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:41:36 +0000

I don’t think that’s what Kermit’s saying. He’s pointing out (quite correctly) that you’ve just thrown good food after bad. If you boobie trap a yoghurt after having had a yoghurt stolen, you’ve now lost two yoghurts. It doesn’t make much sense.

By: Nocturnesthesia

Nocturnesthesia — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:43:46 +0000

I wouldn’t bother with super laxatives or hallucinogens, but I definitely have stooped to the level of adding ungodly amounts of hot pepper powder/sauce to everything. If you do it right you can keep most of the insanity sauce inside a lettuce leaf, so you can get rid of it before eating the rest of your sandwich if it didn’t get stolen.

By: kermit

kermit — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 18:14:49 +0000

I hate peanut butter. But that doesn’t mean that I am allowed to throw out other people’s jars.

Second of all, yoghurt is an essential food for maintaining your health and regulating your intestinal flora i.e. stomach bacteria – bacteria which can lead you to have yeast infections.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 17:11:13 +0000

Personally, I think yogurt tastes the way stinky feet smell.

I would reward the person for removing this biohazard from the environment instead of engaging in unnecessary chastisement.

By: JC

JC — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 13:50:54 +0000

Except from the vegans. :p

By: Joe Blow

Joe Blow — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 04:41:16 +0000

Apparently no one in this thread understands the concept of a *very* slow work-mandated fridge clean-out, or a fridge asshole who drops something in, then leaves it there *forever*, and assumes it’s ok, because they’re going to get to it at some point.

That’s the vibe I get from this letter — dick put a yogurt in, left it there forever, and is now pissed because at some point — sometime during the week, he doesn’t really know when — somebody got rid of his yogurt that was just sitting there..

By: The Elf

The Elf — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 01:17:19 +0000

You missed that episode? Oscar spiked his yogurt with garlic, and the Count stole 1, 2, 3 of them. He was very sick and Maria had to stay up all night while he vomited up the blood of his last two victims. By the Count’s count, it was a marathon 17 trips to the bathroom. Oscar the Grouch laughed and laughed, until Big Bird guilted him into apologizing.

Sesame Street, brought to you by the letter O MY GOD ***BLLAAAAAARRRRRGGGGG*** WHY WON’T IT STOP!

By: alanc230

alanc230 — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 01:06:13 +0000

You know what? This is always going to happen, everywhere. It happened in the kitchen of my college co-op house, 30 years ago. People are always going to steal food, no matter whether a name is on it or not. I’m not saying it’s OK, but you had better get used to it, Andy.

By: Not...!

Not...! — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 23:25:25 +0000

Ok all I want to know is if someone put the $2 in his mailbox or whatever. Update please!