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42 responses so far ↓
#1
infanttyrone
God invented the paper towel ?
Sounds like the plot for Pulp Fiction II.
Mar 26, 2012 at 10:36 pm rating: 18
#2
jimmy
dear god,
the paper towel is great, if not an elaborate device for suburbia to further deforestation, but it does nothing for condensation trapped in a glass jar. I’m not sure why you bring it up here, other than to gloat over your own creation/destruction game. FYI: I have found that a few grains of rice or the ever present oyster cracker placed in the sugar jar, since, well forever, resolves the sugar jar upside down/right side up condensation issue. Also, I remember you previously invented desiccant which would solve this problem even though it is not generally edible.
thanks for all that, and can i please have some more answers to those bigger questions you posed elsewhere? since yer writing and all…..
sincerely,
physics.
Mar 26, 2012 at 10:41 pm rating: 68
#3
Katie
Dear God,
You know that big bang when the hand dryer blew up?
Was that like, on purpose?
Mar 26, 2012 at 11:03 pm rating: 6
#4
FeRD
Dear science, god, et al,
If only there existed some manner of storing upside-down jars other than on a flat surface. Some sort of contraption or structure formed not of flat, smooth surfaces, but rather of an uneven or broken surface through which air may pass freely, facilitating evaporation. This Rigid Airflow ChecKpoint, or “RACK”, would permit the drying of jars regardless of spatial or sexual orientation.
As usual, both science and god fail to deliver. You can both suck it.
Cordially,
– Invention
P.S> As a reminder, god, I demand that you cease any use of my name in relation to your activities. You’ve been thus instructed on more than one previous occasion. Causing objects to materialize out of thin air, while you wriggle your nose and someone plays the xylophone, does not qualify as “inventing”. Comply, or I will have no choice but to seek legal recourse.
Mar 27, 2012 at 2:21 am rating: 80
#5
H for Toy
Invention,
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times. Do not use the phrase “suck it.” It’s rude, and your father and I raised you better than that.
Sincerely,
Necessity
Mar 27, 2012 at 8:32 am rating: 80
#6
al gore
Necessity,
You just won the internets.
Sincerely,
Al
Mar 27, 2012 at 9:13 am rating: 14
#7
Truth
I’m a troll and I love you all, this site is awesome.
Love Truth
Mar 27, 2012 at 10:29 am rating: 1
#8
The Elf
Dear Students and God,
The paper towels are great! But what I really love is that dishwasher with the heat dry function.
Love,
Automation
Mar 27, 2012 at 11:32 am rating: 9
#9
Beatus Mongous
Dear Everyone,
Fuck you all!
Sincerely, Satan
Mar 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm rating: 13
#10
TKD
God didn’t make Paper Towel. I made him.
He’s an expert in guerrilla warfare, the best with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. He’s been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. Well Paper Towel was the best.
There’s only one thing on the planet more bad ass than Paper Towel…
Mar 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm rating: 1
#11
ICWutUDid
I’m in your sugar jar wasting your sugar.
FTW,
Moisture.
Mar 27, 2012 at 8:11 pm rating: 18
#12
A Human
Dear world,
I use a dishtowel.
Sincerely,
a human
Mar 27, 2012 at 8:50 pm rating: 7
#13
Neeners
Hey, novel idea but how about taking the time to dry the jars and put some more sugar in it lazy ass, then we can leave God out of it. After all doesn’t He have other things to do?……Maybe not
Mar 27, 2012 at 10:08 pm rating: 0
#14
Harold
That was the best bagel I have ever eaten.
Mar 28, 2012 at 8:47 am rating: 1
#15
trogdor
Trogdor!
Mar 28, 2012 at 10:37 am rating: 1
#16
Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Has this person not heard of gravity? The draining surface next to most kitchen sinks has a ridged surface to allow water to run off.
Apr 1, 2012 at 3:57 am rating: 2
#17
Kristinanoir
Dear Tully’s
let’s stop providing sugar to the overweight diabetic masses .
Problem solved,
- Your Doctor
Apr 1, 2012 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#18
RH
Dear ‘Science,’
Water can evaporate into the air as long as the air is not saturated. The issue is, therefore, how much water the air can hold, and that applies to anything absorbing anything else.
Air-drying is not likely to work very well in Seattle, where the normal moisture levels are high, regardless of how the items are oriented. Upside-down certainly has the advantage of protecting against dust and other small objects falling in and rendering it necessary to wash the items again, as well as typically ensuring that the remaining moisture is towards the opening of the item, making it easier to use a towel to remove any remaining moisture. Best practice is, in fact, to use a rack or folded absorbent material under the drying glassware, which also serves as a way to ensure it is easy to tell which items have been washed yet and which are awaiting washing.
Hand-drying methods or an automated drier are recommended in Seattle, however, regardless.
Love,
Meteorology + Chemistry
Apr 25, 2012 at 5:03 pm rating: 4
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