Stephanie in Las Vegas says this exchange started out as a sugary-sweet back-and-forth love-fest between initiated by her husband, Brian. Then, one day, Stephanie says, “Brian woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and his alter ego took over.” What a charmer, that Brian!
Not to worry, though— it was all in jest, and no women or toasters were harmed in the making of this note. In fact, Stephanie says, “It totally made my day.” And as far the unplugging the toaster thing goes, she says, “We kinda have an OCD thing about the chance of burning the house down…don’t ask.”
related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?
extra credit: Knock Knock Fill-in-the-Blank Passive-Aggressive Note Pad
81 responses so far ↓
#1
Melissa
Yeeeeeikes!
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:31 pm rating: 22
#2
leludallas
wow… just wow…
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm rating: 9
#3
Jenn
So is he just reallly environmentally conscious or was this a life or death thing? Did a baby penguin get punched in the face because the toaster was still plugged in? Is there something I should know about my appliances?
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:34 pm rating: 78
#4
Deet
I call bullshit. Sorry.
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:34 pm rating: 92
#5
shwo!
Is a lunch baby a love child conceived during a nooner?
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:35 pm rating: 47
#6
JK
I saw Toaster Unplugged on VH1. Enjoyed it, but they could’ve used more cowbell.
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:38 pm rating: 57
#7
Beks
I would call bullshit if I wasn’t living with a boy hi constantly scolds me for not turning off the power points to the tv and pretty much everything electrical.
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:46 pm rating: 3
#8
huh wuh?
If it was just a boyfriend, I’d say dump this loser yesterday. Serious marital counseling is called for because this is unacceptable language and behavior.
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:53 pm rating: 58
#9
Mrs.Beasley
“UNPLUGG”? So is the extra G for emphasis?
Apr 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm rating: 5
#10
Inigo Montoya
“That appliance. You keep unplugging it. I do not think it consumes energy in the way you think it consumes energy”
Apr 4, 2012 at 10:00 pm rating: 85
#11
cowbert
Why the toaster? I thought they were still analog? It’s all the digital gadgets that suck up power through their switched power supplies and standby modes that’s the big issue. That plasma TV is sucking up some amount of kwh for 3/4 of the day when nobody is watching it, for example (and god forbid if you still have CRTs that are plugged in all the time).
Apr 4, 2012 at 10:08 pm rating: 3
#12
hoopy
Toasters can short out and cause fires, especially if they’re cheap or old. It’s a safety thing, not a green thing.
Apr 4, 2012 at 10:11 pm rating: 19
#13
Wench
I hope to god this is a joke, otherwise I’d be concerned about the possibility that this is the very beginnings of domestic violence.
To clarify; DV often starts with messages like this. An “I love you” immediately followed by an aggressive demand for something. Then it escalates….
Apr 4, 2012 at 10:25 pm rating: 8
#14
Joey
I’m much more disturbed by the idea that a grown man would spell So with 4 Os than I am by the last note, which is likely a joke.
Apr 4, 2012 at 10:29 pm rating: 13
#15
infanttyrone
Maybe if Brian hadn’t elbowed that 12-year old in the ribs to get the last $2.99 toaster at Best Buy’s Black Friday sale…it’s a provenance thing….
Meet them at IHOP maybe, but no way you should go to their place for breakfast…their waffle iron was a regular feature on the Dark Side before Dick Cheney went there…and the VitaMix…you don’t wanna know…
Apr 4, 2012 at 11:05 pm rating: 3
#16
A
Not sure whether to laugh, cry or pack my bags and GTFO.
Apr 4, 2012 at 11:10 pm rating: 9
#17
old timer
Ah, mawwiage sweet mawwiage. Seriously, that’s just how it is sometimes. Most of the time, you love them to death. Other days, they piss you the $@%! off.
Apr 4, 2012 at 11:18 pm rating: 16
#18
bookworm
All the lovey dovey stuff is in one handwriting and the Mr. Hide stuff is in another. I don’t think the husband is the one with the alter ego. If there is, in fact, a husband.
Apr 5, 2012 at 1:15 am rating: 6
#19
kermit
I think we’re overlooking the possibility that the husband / electricity Nazi is the same guy who wrote the previous note in the bus depot.
Or maybe this guy’s wife is plugging in the toaster at the bus depot. Itinerants and commuters love fresh toast.
Apr 5, 2012 at 3:04 am rating: 15
#20
DS
What? Who unplugs their appliances in between uses? That’s pointless and weird.
Apr 5, 2012 at 3:43 am rating: 4
#21
Mrs.Beasley
Come on, stop. There’s a reasonable explanation for this note. A nice young lady lives in that apartment. By herself. Alone.
Her name is Sybil. Sometimes she has gaps in her memory that would rival Richard Nixon’s tapes. But she shall deal with it come what may, because in the end:
Two, Four, Six, Eight,
We don’t wanna Integrate.
Apr 5, 2012 at 4:30 am rating: 13
#22
Grashnak
Seriously…. who unplugs their toaster?
When it’s not making toast it’s not using power…
Apr 5, 2012 at 5:16 am rating: 5
#23
weaselby
Brian’s alter ego stutters when he writes angry notes, thus the double g.
Also, plugged in toasters are a fire hazard. Maybe he had a traumatic experience as a child, thus the personality rift. I see it as terror masquerading as rage for the sake of self-preservation.
:p
Apr 5, 2012 at 9:23 am rating: 3
#24
yolanda
If your mate/lover/spouse/whatever speaks to you like this, in text or person, correct them. Explain that you do not want that kind of disrespect clouding your relationship and won’t tolerate such disrespect. If they cannot accept and comply, or worse try and bully you over it, they’re abusive and you must let them go. There will be no joy with someone who can call you a “motherfucker” with all that fury over something so petty unless he can immediately outgrow it.
Apr 5, 2012 at 10:18 am rating: 9
#25
lolopop
Sounds like some hooker needs to get in line and start unplugging the motherfuckin’ toaster when she’s done with it. She’s lucky he used his words rather than his pimp hand.
PS: Are insults not terms of endearment? I guess that means I should talk to my boyfriend about the whole ‘shut your whore mouth’ thing….
Apr 5, 2012 at 11:04 am rating: 29
#26
deprogrammed
His next lunch would be a jam sandwich – two pieces of bread jammed together.
Apr 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm rating: 5
#27
Bookmark
Hopefully this is a joke, because it’s too scary otherwise. My husband would never say something like that to me, even in jest, and we’re both pretty damn immature at times.
Apr 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm rating: 13
#28
Steve
Taken out of context, who knows what this note means? Nobody. So STFU.
Apr 5, 2012 at 9:17 pm rating: 5
#29
jaylemeux
Not gonna end well, even though he’s totally right.
Apr 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm rating: 0
#30
Dr.BullShit
I call Bullshit, the note has 3 different hand writings on there.
Apr 6, 2012 at 1:37 am rating: 0
#31
Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
The three different handwritings on this note indicate that the scenario is more complicated than that suggested. I would like to propose an alternative scenario:
Husband leaves note thanking wife for his lunch. Wife replies in typical lovey-dovey style. Friend of either husband or wife (or both) visits, sees note in kitchen, writes humourous reply.
We’ll never know, but I think this sounds plausible.
Apr 6, 2012 at 5:26 am rating: 7
#32
redheadwglasses
My friend had a sneezing fit one morning and her husband snarled, “knock it the fuck off!”
It’s funny if you KNOW them and if you know that he did it to be funny. (And she did say it cracked her up, because he doesn’t normally talk like that.)
Apr 6, 2012 at 11:27 am rating: 8
#33
Really?
Wow people like to overreact. I jokingly call my boyfriend an asshole all the time, he doesn’t go running off to Social Services. Everyone calm the fuck down!
Apr 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm rating: 13
#34
lauren
People need to chillax. This is obviously a joke – the “I hate you” and “motherfucker” are ironic and funny in these circumstances purely because they’re 180 degrees different from the previous exchange and totally over the top.
Apr 8, 2012 at 2:11 am rating: 10
#35
Kate
I told my fiance to fuck off and get out of my car once. In my defence, he implied that my favourite footballer is not as good as I believe he is.
Apr 10, 2012 at 1:24 am rating: 7
#36
babycheezit
I’m totally not surprised by the victimization defense a few people have chosen to take. Stop watching so much Lifetime and get a sense of humor. It’s called banter.
Apr 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm rating: 7
#37
Abusive Wife
My husband and I occasionally go on scenic hikes through the wilderness, where inevitably one of us will comment that it would be a great place to murder the other and hide the body.
Apr 11, 2012 at 3:03 pm rating: 15
#38
Katie
Uh yeah, my husband eats the last granola bar and doesn’t tell em so I can get more? “You fucking bastard!” I get into a video game beta test and he doesn’t? “You bitch, give me your password!” It’s fine, it works for us, and it would probably make other people uncomfortable as hell which is why we don’t do it in public. But nobody’s gonna shame me into not doing it at home, unless HE takes offense. Sucks to be everyone else!
Apr 13, 2012 at 8:04 am rating: 3
#39
Gravity's Rambo
I miss your fall? I miss your faee?
I don’t get it.
Apr 14, 2012 at 7:54 am rating: 0
#40
Lacerbeam
Wow, most of these comments made me massively roll my eyes. I can’t imagine how miserable it must be to be so severely lacking in the “sense of humor” department.
Apr 24, 2012 at 3:05 pm rating: 8
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