…where Santa brings you bunny stationery and a shotgun in the same stocking!
related: The right to bear fruit
…where Santa brings you bunny stationery and a shotgun in the same stocking!
related: The right to bear fruit
FILED UNDER: Dallas/Fort Worth · have a nice day · neighbors · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · Texas
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63 responses so far ↓
#1
PJ
I can’t stop laughing, just to stinkin’ funny!
(I’m a bunny mum)
Apr 10, 2012 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#2
JK
If you’d asked me what a Benelli Supernova was, I’d have guessed either the Italian version of a Volvo or a drink the girls had on Sex and the City.
Apr 10, 2012 at 10:10 pm rating: 90
#3
UnclGhost
Oh jesus. I would move away first thing in the morning.
Apr 10, 2012 at 10:12 pm rating: 90
#4
thrall
At least now the thieves know what to take when they break into the apartment! Saves them a bunch of time.
Apr 10, 2012 at 10:20 pm rating: 90
#5
Nancy Jean
Can that really be considered “passive” aggressive? A threat to shoot sounds pretty plain old aggressive to me!!
Apr 10, 2012 at 11:27 pm rating: 90
#6
The Gray Adder
Is it a pump-action shotgun? That would be the defensive weapon of choice for me. The sound of one of those being charged would make any sane person wet his or her pants. I’d never have to actually fire it.
Apr 11, 2012 at 7:39 am rating: 90
#7
joshua
Yes, it’s a pump-action. At least it seems likely he/she has the “field” version rather then the “tactical” version which is more intended for
police forces.
Apr 11, 2012 at 8:15 am rating: 90
#8
Dane Zeller
I used to have a Benelli Supernova. It had six cylinders and a 5-speed manual transmission. It was designed by the great Columbo Benelli of Venice. Not many sold, especially to anyone living in Texas.
It would not fit in an apartment, however.
Apr 11, 2012 at 9:05 am rating: 90
#9
texan
actually, Benelli Supernova is code for “massive vibrator” here. We’re comfortable with guns but we can be a little repressed sexually. “Jiggle my handle,” indeed.
Apr 11, 2012 at 9:24 am rating: 90
#10
ANja
I’ve lived in Texas all my life and never heard of a Benelli supernova, and I have a passport and a highschool diploma and I’m not scary. Getting tired of the stereotyping by people who have never even been here.
Apr 11, 2012 at 10:19 am rating: 90
#11
mutzali
As General Sheridan said, “If I owned Hell and Texas, I’d rent out Texas and live in Hell.”
Apr 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm rating: 90
#12
Brian H
A Benneli Supernova is a very good shotgun, one of the best you can buy. Not cheap either.
As far as stereotyping Texans, it’s rather intellectually lazy to slap on the “texans are all stupid hicks” label. My dad is from Texas and was an electrical engineer and worked on nuclear bombs. He was also raised on a ranch so he knew how to shoot, ride, hunt, and care for farm animals which he also taught me. He’s a smart guy who is also a man.
Small brains like !Ferd can’t make distinctions because it hurts their brains to do anything other than paint in broad strokes.
Apr 12, 2012 at 1:46 am rating: 90
#13
Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
I’d jiggle the handle more. Benelli make good shotguns apparently, and I’d like to see one. It’s very kind of the note-writer to offer to show it to people.
Apr 12, 2012 at 5:04 am rating: 90
#14
The Elf
That bunny stationary gets me more than the threat. It’s the kind of stationary that you’d use to methodically list the people you need to kill when you finally go on your revenge rampage.
Apr 12, 2012 at 7:23 am rating: 90
#15
Wench
Am I the only one who thought this was written like the intro to a really bad porn movie? (for some reason I’m hearing this in the voice of Marvin Gaye) “hey baby, jiggle my handle one more time and I’ll shoot my Benelli Supernova at you”….
Apr 12, 2012 at 8:30 am rating: 90
#16
JC
That is freakin hilarious ROFLMAO
Apr 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm rating: 90
#17
clumber
I have yet to set foot in Texas, lived all but 4 (poorly-planned) years in the coffee and hippie PNW, and am a born and bred bleeding heart liberal commie pinko and not only do i know about the Supernova, but i have one stored next to the bedroom door on a cool upright rack device – at the ready should any fool rattle my doorknobs… just asking to see it. Hopefully they’d also like to see my awesome historical surplus military rifles (IBM M1 Carbine – I WIN!) and my bird-hunting awesome Citori. I love showing those off – they are very cool. The Stoegar Condor is a good bird gun too, just not as smooth. Nor as expensive.
Now, for scarin’ the bunnies, as others have said nothing beats that Benelli pump- kaCHUNK! However, I’ll put my Citori up against anything for bird hunting.
For my beloved’s Xmas present, I got her a lever-action rifle like in the old movies. You probably don’t even need to rattle her anythings — she’d love to show it off!
I hold both an ACLU and an NRA card in my wallet. When bored i stage fights between them.
Apr 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm rating: 90
#18
cool
FIRE AWAY
May 16, 2012 at 9:22 am rating: 90
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