Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.
(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)
related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…
Well, it’s not a horse’s head in your bed…
April 25th, 2012 · 43 comments
FILED UNDER: college life · laundry · Ohio · stealing · warning
43 responses so far ↓
#1
joshua
Wow, that’s a bit beyond passive aggressive and well on the way to criminal threat.
Apr 25, 2012 at 7:09 pm rating: 66
#2
Kara
Now what kind of crazy are we going for here?
I’m going to show you my dead goldfish? Or, I boiled my goldfish and then showed him to you?
Coz I often find a death threat just doesn’t work unless you’ve done some bunny (or fish) boiling.
Apr 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm rating: 33
#3
Minaude
Free DEAD goldfish? Wow! How did you guess I was on a protein diet?
Apr 25, 2012 at 7:11 pm rating: 15
#4
Jitty
D: Oh, no, Goldie!!! T__T
Apr 25, 2012 at 7:44 pm rating: 13
#5
thrall
I am going to die the death of an alcoholic?
Apr 25, 2012 at 8:03 pm rating: 4
#6
me
PETA needs to be all over that one. O_o creepy
Apr 25, 2012 at 8:18 pm rating: 10
#7
Me
This looks like postmodern art
Apr 25, 2012 at 8:29 pm rating: 15
#8
Paige
How the hell can she turn people into a goldfish?
Apr 25, 2012 at 8:53 pm rating: 82
#9
Steph
What a freak.
Apr 25, 2012 at 10:46 pm rating: 4
#10
coute
I sure hope that goldfish was dead before she put it in there.
Apr 25, 2012 at 11:43 pm rating: 46
#11
SeeYouInTea
I think this is so over-the-top, batshit crazy, but it is hilarious as hell!
Apr 26, 2012 at 12:38 am rating: 10
#12
Poltergeist
Oh no, she’s going to overfeed me and/or “forget” to clean up my floating excrement!
Apr 26, 2012 at 1:52 am rating: 19
#13
Penultimate
You’ll be sleeping with the fishes.
Apr 26, 2012 at 2:51 am rating: 20
#14
Grant
Also found in the laundry room after someone took the advertising blurb literally. “If it’s safe in water, it’s safe in Lux!”
Apr 26, 2012 at 4:02 am rating: 6
#15
The White Clouds of Opium
That’s when another girl on the floor reported her goldfish missing…
Apr 26, 2012 at 4:27 am rating: 21
#16
The Elf
That’s an offer you can’t refuse.
Apr 26, 2012 at 6:55 am rating: 2
#17
H for Toy
Goldie’s last day,
Goldie’s last day,
If a picture’s worth a thousand words,
There’s nothing left to say.
Wish you could’ve been there for Goldie’s last day…
Apr 26, 2012 at 7:37 am rating: 1
#18
redheadwglasses
So… she killed her own fish? (Or more likely, found her fish dead and decided to get some use out of it?)
Apr 26, 2012 at 8:34 am rating: 5
#19
yolanda
The only way that could possibly be okay is if the goldfish died of natural causes and provided an opportunity to be extremely silly between friends.
Apr 26, 2012 at 10:33 am rating: 26
#20
deprogrammed
I think it means the thief can meet with the same fate, which can probably be considered a criminal threat. Although if I discovered someone had stolen my clothes my first impulse might involve growing fangs and breathing fire.
Apr 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm rating: 5
#21
21skulls
This is actually quite unsettling. This is something my sociopathic ex coworker would probably do.
Apr 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm rating: 14
#22
Lou Lou
Uhm… shouldn’t the note say, “This is what WILL happen to you if you CONTINUE to take people’s clothes?”… because I am assuming the act was already done once… and that person is likely not dead. Am I over thinking this?
Apr 26, 2012 at 6:11 pm rating: 2
#23
Loser
I think what she’s trying to say is that if you mess with her laundry, she will put a dead fish in your laundry soap/liquid fabric softener, so that all your clothes will smell like fish. Note that the dead fish is in one of those little measuring cups that comes with laundry soap, and the liquid it’s floating in actually appears to be laundry soap.
It still comes across very creepy, though, and the meaning isn’t readily apparent.
Apr 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm rating: 3
#24
Joe Blow
No one cares about dead fish.
Apr 26, 2012 at 7:21 pm rating: 3
#25
Somebody
At first I thought it was just a dead fish in a bowl, probably one they found and used as a joke. Now it looks like they drowned it in the detergent (?) – if it’s the latter, it’s definitely sociopathic and kind of pathetic.
Apr 26, 2012 at 10:53 pm rating: 16
#26
Jon
A really thoughtful thief wouldn’t be impressed.
Apr 27, 2012 at 10:36 am rating: 0
#27
Diane
Who leaves their clothes unattended in a dorm’s laundry room in the first place?
Apr 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm rating: 4
#28
Anne
@Diane I’m guessing you never lived in the dorms, or went to a college full of idiots.
Speaking of passive-aggressive dorm behavior.. when my friend found that someone had dumped her clothes to wash their own, she poured a full bottle of bleach into their machine.
Apr 30, 2012 at 2:08 pm rating: 2
#29
notolaf
Re: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…
That’s what you get for wearing a thong, idiot.
May 3, 2012 at 1:46 am rating: 0
#30
alanc230
Maybe it was also an invitation to a goldfish-swallowing contest.
May 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm rating: 0
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