Busted by Sir Richard Carlisle

May 1st, 2012 · 51 comments

Matt and his girlfriend were taking a stroll through her parents’ neighborhood (of mostly-legal manor homes?) when they came across this pile of aging newspapers.

“We thought it was good of the employer to be willing to give the delivery boy a chance to explain himself,” Matt says. “However, the sign remains.”

I AM PAYING YOU TO DELIVER MY PAPERS NOT DUMP THEM IN AN ILLEGAL MANOR. GET IT RIGHT, DO YOUR JOB, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE THAT LIVE HERE. PLEASE PICK UP THESE PAPER AND BRING THEM WITH THE SIGN TO MY OFFICE AND WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT. YES I DO KNOW WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE SOMEONE SAW YOU. YOUR BOSS, RICHARD

I AM PAYING YOU TO DELIVER MY PAPERS NOT DUMP THEM IN AN ILLEGAL MANOR. GET IT RIGHT, DO YOUR JOB, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE THAT LIVE HERE. PLEASE PICK UP THESE PAPER AND BRING THEM WITH THE SIGN TO MY OFFICE AND WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT. YES I DO KNOW WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE SOMEONE SAW YOU. YOUR BOSS, RICHARD

related: What’s black, white, and totally over?

extra credit: Arrested Downton

FILED UNDER: I know who you are · newspaper · now that's management · Oregon


51 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Neeners

    Sir Richard that was quite a rant for a guy who can’t tell the difference between a manor and a manner.

    Can I have your dog? He’s cute.
    Oh yeah and I’m too busy littering with your new papers to carry your eyesore sign in with me.

    May 1, 2012 at 5:05 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Hetaliafan bang

      I see this comment and all I can see is a paperboy roaming the streets inside of a huge mansion ala Howls Moving Castle.

      Yeah, I can see why he wouldn’t care enough to deliver the papers correctly if he has one of those!

      May 2, 2012 at 1:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   FeRD bang

      @Neeners:
      I’m not sure it’s really fair to call out the sign as an eyesore, here. It’s easily the least upsetting thing about that landfill tableau.

      May 8, 2012 at 1:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Henry

    Salem Oregon?

    May 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Diana

    Hmmmmm…..Richard…..Dick……yeah, that’s apropos.

    May 1, 2012 at 5:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   jaylemeux

    I quit.

    May 1, 2012 at 5:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   kermit

    Dear Rich,

    As you have correctly stated, I only get paid to deliver your newspaper, not your lawn signs, too. And may I remind you that your subscription says “home delivery” not “delivery to your office door’.

    Toodles!

    May 1, 2012 at 6:28 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   catethulhu

      Unless note writer is crazy, which I thought at first too, I think we have this wrong. I think the kid is dumping the paper on someone’s property instead of literally delivering them to their proper homes. I think this is his actual boss, trying to publicly shame him. Why he didn’t just call, I don’t know. I guess he was just that pissed. If I have this right, then screw that kid. The wording “have some respect for the people who live here” gave it away to me. It implies that he was dumping instead of delivering. I think the guy got fired.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:29 am   rating: 62  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   mes

      Also the whole “bring the papers to my office and we’ll talk about it” sounds a lot more like his actual boss as opposed to a delivery customer, who would say something more like, “I’m going to call your boss and have you fired!”

      May 2, 2012 at 11:00 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Soundgardenklok

      Yes, but then if Richard is in fact the employer, wouldn’t he already know who his deliverer is? The sign says he knows who the culprit is because the neighbors saw the person.

      May 2, 2012 at 1:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   DaveGI

      But just because a particular person delivers papers on this street doesn’t mean someone else couldn’t have dumped papers there. The deliverer could always say someone else did it.

      Richard is merely pointing out to the deliverer that he also has eye witnesses that saw him dump the papers.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Jess

    Love that he presumes the delivery kid knows where his office is. Because let’s be honest, we all are that level of interested in Richard’s life.

    May 1, 2012 at 6:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Chinchillazilla

      I know where MY boss’s office is.

      May 2, 2012 at 3:09 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Jenn

    I want to see this illegal manor. It’s probably the home of a mob boss or something. I bet the kid is using the papers as an excuse to get close and bust up a drug ring! Let him/her be!

    May 1, 2012 at 7:05 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Stuffin'

      Sounds like the name of a brothel to me.

      May 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   LB

    Jess,
    I would have to assume the kid knows where his bosses office is, no matter how poor of an employee this kid is

    May 1, 2012 at 7:40 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   makya

    uh, you guys realize the person he busted is the paper delivery person, right? they get fired for this all the time for dumping the freebie wednesday paper instead of delivering it because they think no one will notice.

    May 1, 2012 at 8:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   kermit

      Except the note doesn’t complain about not receiving the paper.

      From the picture, all his newspapers protected in plastic bags and in perfect condition for him to read if he’d only bother go to the end of his driveway and pick them up.

      Richard is complaining that his newspapers wound up in an undesirable place. Evidently the paper delivery person is supposed to knock on his door and hand him his paper and mail on a silver platter. I bet that kind of stellar delivery service would really get more people to subscribe to the newspaper.

      May 1, 2012 at 9:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Panoz7

      @kermit: I believe the sign is from the paper delivery boy’s boss (the person at the newspaper who pays him to deliver the papers), not from the home owner.

      May 1, 2012 at 9:42 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   deprogrammed

      Agree with Panoz7-this note is from the delivery supervisor, not the resident (unless they are one and the same – which does not bode well for this guy’s future).

      May 1, 2012 at 9:51 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   kermit

      If it was from the delivery supervisor implicitly accusing the person of not doing their job properly, shouldn’t there be more papers in the pile? That doesn’t look to me like an entire paper route at all, so that’s why I assumed it was a subscriber complaining.

      May 1, 2012 at 10:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   M L

      I assumed the boss wrote the note because the delivery kid was dumping this one person’s newspaper somewhere undesirable and Richard got a complaint. And yeah, the client probably does want the kid to hand it to him, or at least put it on his porch, which is standard… at least it was when I had a paper route rumble grumble rassafrassin getoffmylawn

      May 1, 2012 at 11:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   caffeine

    Definitely have to agree it’s from the delivery supervisor. A resident would more likely complain to the newspaper (or whoever he is buying his newspapers from) and not invite an unknown delivery person to his office. Team note writer (reluctantly, because of the spelling errors and also because he must know who delivers to this area and could have approached them about it in a less PA fashion). As to the number of newspapers in the pile, the photo was taken to highlight the sign, which had to be stuck in the dirt – there could be any number of papers just out of shot on the cemented area.

    May 1, 2012 at 11:00 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   bookworm

    Dear Richard,

    You’re not my boss.

    Enjoy your nice long walk to your soggy papers.

    May 1, 2012 at 11:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   bookworm

    If the sign was from the delivery boy’s boss, don’t you think that he would know who has what route, and therefore, who said delivery boy is?

    May 1, 2012 at 11:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Paige

    Looking at the first picture, I don’t think they’ve aged to the point of being one “paper” yet.

    Also, if a manor has been built illegally, the tenants are lucky to get a paper at all, even if they do belong to Sir.

    May 2, 2012 at 12:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Unhinged

    Its obviously from his boss! It’s signed from his boss! He is paid by his boss. Why don’t people read these things properly?
    Team note(sign)-writer – littering is unforgivable!

    May 2, 2012 at 12:49 am   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   kermit

      I took the “boss” signature in the loose sense that regular citizens say they’re the boss of government workers and civil servants.

      Besides, if littering is unforgivable, then the person should have subscribed to the electronic version of the paper. They’re all wrapped in plastic bags and are therefore perfectly readable.

      Unless you’re nuts about the crossword puzzle, why do you need a hard copy of the newspaper anyway? Demonstrate a hoarding habit?

      May 2, 2012 at 1:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   The White Clouds of Opium bang

      I took “boss” as a reference to the infamous “Dear Boss” letter. But I’m pretty morbid, so there’s that to consider.

      May 2, 2012 at 6:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   bookworm

      Then how come his “boss” doesn’t know his name? You’d think that somebody signing your paychecks would know what houses they assigned you to.

      Richard is the man the papers are being delivered to. He has mistaken being a customer with being a boss.

      May 3, 2012 at 1:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Poltergeist

      No, Richard is clearly the actual boss of this paper person. He assumes this individual already knows where his office is, which wouldn’t make any sense if this was merely one of the customers.

      May 3, 2012 at 2:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Unhinged

    *It’s! Sorry :)

    May 2, 2012 at 12:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Jack-O-Lantern bang

    It kinda looks like all the newspapers were dumped where the sidewalk ends (by Shel Silverstein), not in front of anyone’s property. If you look closely, some of those papers aren’t in protective bags, they’re just strewn about and aged, and that’s only from what we can see from that photo, as someone’s pointed out. Looks like whenever the delivery boy gets tired or bored, he or she just dumps the rest of the papers there, and his or her boss found out about it.

    May 2, 2012 at 5:57 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   The White Clouds of Opium bang

    The upshot is that it’s 2012 and no one called to complain.

    May 2, 2012 at 6:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   bob loblaw

    The dog has a guilty look on his face. I think he moved all the papers there.

    May 2, 2012 at 7:21 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Jessica P.

    EVEN IF the note is from the delivery supervisor that doesn’t change the fact that it’s completely dickish.

    And who is to say that a neighborhood dog or raccoon hasn’t been dragging them off porches? Once the paper is in front of the house it’s not the responsibility of the delivery person to make sure they stay there.

    May 2, 2012 at 7:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Jami

      Unless they’re making a nest, I don’t think an animal would drag them all to the same spot.

      May 2, 2012 at 11:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   DaveGI

      Except that when the delivery supervisor came to check on the situation – presumably after a complaint – he checked with the neighbors and they said that they saw the delivery boy/girl dumping the papers their.

      That’s why he’s pointing this out to the deliverer – so they can’t claim someone else or some animals did it.

      May 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Lil'

    I think these are the extra papers after he completes his route. Instead of taking them back to the office, he dumps them. If he were not delivering to the people on his route, the office would have gotten more complaints than just the one from the neighbor who saw him dump them. My sister-in-law has a paper route and her spare room is filled halfway to the ceiling with extras. I have no idea what she plans to do with them. She also has a few cats, so I’m guessing at this rate, she be on an episode of Hoarders within the next 5-10 years.

    May 2, 2012 at 7:53 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   sleeps

      She could make some extra cash by selling the coupons from the Sunday edition.

      May 2, 2012 at 9:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   My name is Princess!

    I think the boss would have better luck constructing a Bull’s Eye sign with a hole in the middle near his desired delivery area. Men like to have somewhere to aim.

    May 2, 2012 at 2:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   saam

    I always thought papers were delivered by shifty-looking men driving plymouth dusters.

    May 3, 2012 at 1:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   yolanda

    When I was a young girl, around 13 or 14, I took on a paper route. This was not a subscriber route, however, I delivered spam by the armload. Flyers, coupons, and other lousy excuses for deforestation arrived by the bundle. I had a 2mile route (each way) with houses very far apart so lots of bicycling, and the papers were heavy. It wasn’t long before I realized I could skip over half the route by stuffing armloads of the things into sewer drains, the school trash bin, etc. I don’t guess a lot of people complained about the reduction in trash but the school janitor got fed up with the papers in his bin and the neighbours of the storm drain really got ticked. That was the end of my job. I would not have taken those papers to the office either!

    May 3, 2012 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Harmy G

    Check out the number on the other side of the sign…

    Clear Signal
    Dish Network
    503-990-7706

    May 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Kathryn

    When I lived in a small college town, there was an ongoing drama about a weekly advertising spam newspaper. Sometimes the stories in the real news newspaper complained because the company’s deliverypeople kept delivering it to people who had opted out, and sometimes the stories featured heaps of rotting newspapers in storm drains and creeks. So I think a similar scenario is more plausible than a subscriber complaining that the papers were delivered two far from the porch.

    May 4, 2012 at 12:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      I used to deliver a free paper as a kid. Everyone who has ever worked delivering a free paper has at some point just dumped a load of them. I held out longer than most, but eventually when you realise you’re delivering something no one wants and no one will miss, it’s really hard to motivate yourself to actually bother. I’m pretty sure you’re right and that’s what’s happened here.

      May 4, 2012 at 4:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    My theory; the note wasn’t written by Richard The Boss. It was written in the hope that the culprit would accidentally reveal themselves.

    Who even gets a paper delivered these days? It’s all on the internet for free.

    May 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Mrs.Beasley

    Seriously, I don’t blame RICH ARD for being upset. Here he’s paying for a newspaper subscription to his home and the damned kid is delivering it to IIIEGAI MANOR!

    May 4, 2012 at 11:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   ex-paper girl

    I don’t think these are from the paper person’s actual “boss” or “supervisor”, and I don’t think the paper person is a kid on a bike. This sign is actually wasted on its intended target because when you deliver a paper at 3 or 4 in the morning, you are driving by so fast and flipping papers out of your window that you’re not reading signs. 10 to 1 the paper person doesn’t even know it’s for them. Also, if it was his actual boss, he wouldn’t leave a sign and let this go for so long. He would drive the paper person over there after his shift and make him clean it up. This is a tongue and cheek indication on the part of Richard that “I’m your boss cause I buy the paper that it’s your job to deliver.” If Richard doesn’t call in and complain and request that the paper be delivered in a different manner, than nothing is going to change. I had a customer who wanted her paper delivered on the porch, and if it was even off on one of the steps, I never heard the end of it. So, sorry Richard, your sign is doing no one except us here on the internet any good.

    May 5, 2012 at 4:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   caffeine

      There are at least 15 newspapers in this photo, with the possibility of more out of shot. No one is going to wait over two weeks of missing their newspaper delivery before complaining about it to whoever they are buying it from. If they finally discover the newspapers, whether they’ve been dumped, left at the end of the driveway or a few inches off the porch, they are not going to simply leave a sign like this hoping for resolution. As you said yourself, ex-paper girl, you never heard the end of it from that customer and I bet that wasn’t via obscure signs they stuck by a pile of papers they didn’t bother picking up for weeks on end just to prove their point. This is simply an example of the boss (yes, the real boss) trying to be clever and shame the delivery person (“See? You thought you could just dump these papers and still get paid but I’m on to you”). Quite possibly the boss is too lazy busy to go and retrieve the sign or pick up the rotting papers and hopes people will think he is the good guy because he told the guilty party to clean it up.

      May 5, 2012 at 6:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Bearfoot

    Well, it’s official.

    Richard is a dick.

    (see what I did there?)

    Jul 19, 2014 at 8:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up