Admit it, you hate us.

May 17th, 2012 · 72 comments

A few months ago, Christie in North Carolina joined a group on Meetup.com, but never found the time to attend any of the actual meetups. This, it seems, is a serious breach of Meetup netiquette. Recently, the group’s owner did Christie the favor of explaining why she was being kicked out of the group — for her own benefit, of course.

Soooo....*twittles [sic] thumbs* its been more than 3mths and you haven't joined us ONCE??? Admit it, you hate us, and I can imagine its gotta be pretty darn annoying to get so many notifications from a group that you DON'T want to participate in SO, ....let me to do you a favor... Ill remove you from this group and if you ever have a change of heart you can come back. :-) HOWEVER, keep in mind we are an active group and only active members are invited, so I'll have my eye on you! Tough love hurts but somebody's gotta do it or you'll never try something new! Welp until next time.... *tear

 

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · e-mail · North Carolina · painfully polite · smiley


72 responses so far ↓

  • #1   divaandwriter

    Aww! Did the awful lady ignore you and make you feel bad? Well, she probably wishes she had never met up with all of you in the first place because you are just too self-important and annoying. Phoey on her.

    May 17, 2012 at 8:44 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   H for Toy

    I didn’t hate you before, but I certainly do now!

    May 17, 2012 at 8:49 am   rating: 123  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   cecilia

    The image was removed by flickr so we cannot view the hilarity. Boo :(

    May 17, 2012 at 8:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Lil'

      If you scroll over the flickr message, the window pops up so you can still read the text from the note. It’s worth the extra effort, believe me.

      May 17, 2012 at 8:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Tim!

      And if you click through, it’s fine. Flickr has disabled deep links, at least for this image.

      May 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   chiieddy

    The text from the removed image is on the bottom of it still:

    Soooo….*twittles [sic] thumbs* its been more than 3mths and you haven’t joined us ONCE??? Admit it, you hate us, and I can imagine its gotta be pretty darn annoying to get so many notifications from a group that you DON’T want to participate in SO, ….let me to do you a favor… Ill remove you from this group and if you ever have a change of heart you can come back. :-) HOWEVER, keep in mind we are an active group and only active members are invited, so I’ll have my eye on you! Tough love hurts but somebody’s gotta do it or you’ll never try something new! Welp until next time…. *tear

    May 17, 2012 at 8:54 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Redheadwglasses

    Uh oh. I get meet-up invites/notices all the time, as I signed up with a euchre group. Unfortunately, I always have things already scheduled when a notification pops up.

    I didn’t realize that I was being so unfair and demanding of A FREAKIN’ AUTOMATED SYSTEM.

    May 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Melissa

      I first read that as “eunuch” group! Whew!

      May 17, 2012 at 1:59 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Lindsay

      I also have joined two book clubs groups on Meetup, and haven’t been yet… I hope the Toronto Meetup groups aren’t as demanding!

      (Although the one group has a policy that if you RSVP and don’t attend three times, you’re out of the group, which is fair. If you RSVP and don’t attend, you’re taking a place from people who may actually want to go.)

      May 17, 2012 at 2:10 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   The Elf

      The eunuch group is something else entirely. They meet on Wednesday. It’s hosted by Bob. Bob has bitch tits.

      May 18, 2012 at 6:37 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   crooked chick

    WELP is not a f-ing word! Can we end the use of it please – it is a blight on humanity!!!!

    May 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Fat Desdemona

      Well, it is a word, but it doesn’t fit into this context.

      May 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Lil'

      Welp, I would of stopped using it a long time ago if I had knowed it bothered you so much.

      May 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm   rating: 59  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Murpedo

      Cool. Can you stop using “would of” when you mean “would have”, too?

      May 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Daniel Xerxes

      Murpedo, I’m hoping that “would of” and “had knowed” were actually a poke at people like those who actually use the word “welp.” Please let it be true.

      May 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm   rating: 59  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Lil'

      @Daniel Xerxes – Finally a man who understands me.

      May 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   hellertrek

      f-ing is not a word, either!

      May 17, 2012 at 3:09 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Poltergeist

      Language evolves. Do you think every word in existence today has always been utilized in the same context/pronounced the same way/spelled the same way since the beginning of time? Welp, that’s not true, so get used to it crooked granny.

      May 17, 2012 at 11:17 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Chinchillazilla

      It’s the closest spelling of how I pronounce the word “well” in this sort of context, though. I don’t really say the p, but I cut the word off at the end and p is the closest thing to it. I think it’s legitimate.

      But it’s annoying as hell when people write it “whelp.”

      May 18, 2012 at 2:47 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Redheadwglasses

      World of Warcraft has “whelps.” FLying bat/birds that breathe fire on you.

      May 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   The Elf

      Hmmm….. makes sense within the context of the email too. Whelp, until next time. When I shall slay you with my Vorpal Sword Of Destruction (enchanted).

      May 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   Nahhh bang

      +300 Spell Power needed for this controversy…

      May 19, 2012 at 5:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   guinevere

      No, “welp” isn’t actually a word. It’s a cutesy pronunciation of the word “well.”

      “Welt” (raised mark on skin) is a word.

      “Whelp” (an impudent youth or the offspring of certain mammals) is a word.

      “Welp” is not a real word, but the internet makes all kinds of fake words real, especially in casual conversation – which is why the note is stupid, but not because the jerk uses the not-actually-a-word “welp.”

      May 21, 2012 at 6:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   Dyre

      I know this is old and probably no one cares, but “welp” has been around longer than the internet (I feel like I picked it up, at one point, out of Anne of Green Gables, but I can’t be sure–Maybe Little House on the Prairie?).

      Seems like it might have stemmed from “Well”+”Yup” as in “Well, yup. (That’s how that thing you’re talking about is, but I don’t really care/this conversation’s gone on too long.)”

      Also interesting is that when “welp” is said, it’s more like “Welp! I gotta get going,” but it always seems to be written with a comma after it. D:

      Aug 12, 2012 at 11:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   ALLY

    They do admit to being a group of “frenzies” on their Meetup page. I think the owner’s letter supports that claim. Don’t let them get you down, Christie. It sounds like you’re better off without Generation Y (Bother?)!!

    May 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Redheadwglasses

      It’s a good thing they said “frenzies” and not “friendsies.”

      May 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Lil'

    Wow…what a B.

    May 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Lucy

    better off being deleted. “twittles [sic] thumbs* “–is annoying and unneccessary. those people would of gotten on my nerves.

    May 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Redheadwglasses

      “would of” (instead of “would have”) gets on my nerves. But I’d still invite you over to play cards and have some beers!!

      May 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Amy

    Super harsh! Suck it meetup.

    May 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   kermit

    It is annoying and unpleasant to spend money, time etc. counting on the fact that people will show up and then they don’t.

    I’m not a member of Meetup. I assume that with each invitation notice there’s an RSVP button, so the person who’s organizing the shindig is aware of how many people are likely to show up. So there’s no need to get this nasty over something so trivial.

    May 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   HaydenT

    The thing about meetup is that it costs money (maybe $150?) to run every year. It can be very frustrating to have 200 ‘members’ of a meetup who never come to anything while only a few do and carry the whole group.

    It’s pretty endemic to have a crapload of people signed up who never show up for anything or participate. I have no problem with booting non-participating folks from a group.

    That note, however, is not the way to do it.

    May 17, 2012 at 1:28 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Bluecanary

      I agree. Also, I’m a member of a meetup group, and we occasionally have people who “join” the meetup site just so that they can have access to things like who is in the group, as well as our meetup page message board and yadda yadda. Because apparently some people are creepy stalkers with nothing better to do. Because of the nature of the group, someone who joins but does not attend 3 meetings in a row is bumped. However, the person who wrote that sarcastic silly note should be punched.

      May 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   zenbija bang

      Exactly. Organizing a meetup has shown me that there’s a huge gap in some people between their willingness to click “I’m interested in this meetup” and their actual willingness to show up to things. It’s just mind-boggling to me, especially when people are very active on the site, and RSVP for events that are more than a month away, but always come up with an excuse just before the event. But to some extent there’s nothing you can do about it, and if you expect all your members to be active all the time, you’ll be disappointed. So I wouldn’t fault the group organizer for removing people who clearly aren’t ever going to make time to show up; but being pissy and sarcastic about it doesn’t help anything.

      May 17, 2012 at 3:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Jen

      if the owner wants to delete the inactive members, that’s fine, but why the dramatics in the note?

      May 17, 2012 at 7:22 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Poltergeist

      It’s pretty obvious, Jen. The meetups must be so boring that the only way this individual can derive any pleasure from belonging to this group is through sassing and then booting inactive members. In this way, he/she can moonlight as God (an incredibly lazy God with nothing better to do.)

      May 17, 2012 at 11:31 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Jill

    I think she dodged a bullet there.

    May 17, 2012 at 2:23 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Kaylee

    I really think the note was meant to be in a “fun-loving, semi-sarcastic but in a good way” tone…Thus the happy face and fake crying at the end

    May 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Jen

      it’s obnoxious. wait, did you write this?

      May 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Amanda

    I wonder what would happen if we all joined the group and didn’t go to any functions. Would there be spontaneous combustion on the part of the administrator?

    May 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Uninspired Required Name

    That lady sounds like a nutcase. Better off without those psychos.

    May 17, 2012 at 3:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   sally

    A couple of years ago, we moved to a new area, and I joined a meetup.com group for stay-at-home moms with small kids.

    The organizer wanted to keep the group small but active, and I was totally down with that. I went to events all the time, rarely missed one. I saw these people at least once a week. Loved the group. Considered them my friends.

    Well, then I go and have my second child. He was sick when he was born (he’s fine now) and his doctors warned me not to have him around other kids too much for the first few months, until he was older and stronger. You know, so he wouldn’t get sick before his body was ready to handle it. And my meetup group actually cut me loose for not coming to events. The organizer knew why I hadn’t been coming around lately – I talked to her personally and explained it (again, I thought she was my friend). In fact, she was on the short list of people I called when my son went to the hospital. But she reiterated that she wanted to keep the group active and wanted room on the roster for someone who would come to events.

    I haven’t really seen any of that crew since this happened. I’m still kind of sore about it, obviously. Folks take their damn meetup groups way, way, way too seriously.

    Anyway. As soon as my kid was healthy enough, I went back to work. The people here are better.

    May 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   George P

      I guess having one more person in the group would have ruined it. The horror!

      May 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   meri

      That is a sad story and I hope you find truer friends.

      May 17, 2012 at 10:21 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   catethulhu

      That’s too bad. If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t have kicked you out of my group, had I had one anyways. And I would have baked you a cake. I’m glad your son is doing all right now. That’s the most important thing.
      Those people were petty and don’t deserve you.

      May 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   ziblue

    It’s so very smug.

    Why does one suspect the person writing it has been just dying to find an excuse to write that note? Either to this particular target, or to any other likely recipient?

    Also: twiddles, dammit.

    May 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   The Elf

      If this message was pre-composed, she really needs to work on her message writing skills. The capitals, the ellipses, “twittles”, “3mths”, and “welp” all point to having been dashed off in a fit of pique. Possibly drunken pique.

      May 18, 2012 at 6:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Greg House

    You’re better off without them-she sounds a little obsessive/psycho about this group thing…

    May 17, 2012 at 6:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   amelzor

    I wonder where I can join a thumb twittling meet up?

    May 17, 2012 at 6:25 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Pandy

    Didn’t know you could “twittle” your thumbs.

    May 17, 2012 at 7:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Zsa

      Come on over here Pandy and I’ll show you ALL SORTS of things I can twittle…

      May 17, 2012 at 10:49 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   The Elf

    The first clue to the group’s tone should have been in the name Generation Y (NOT)??!!

    May 18, 2012 at 6:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Inker

    Considering that w(h)elping is something that b*tches do, this note doesn’t surprise me at all.

    Reminds me of a series of emails I got once…I have a direct sales business and someone emailed me about joining the business, to which I didn’t reply immediately as I was in the hospital. So when I got back, I found a series of increasingly huffier messages about how I hadn’t replied immediately and if this was my idea of customer service yada yada yada…I simply replied and said I am sorry but was having a operation for cancer. Never got a reply, but I hope this woman really felt like sh*t after that…It’s way too easy to assume that people are not human and don’t have times when they can’t make meetings or reply to emails the same day they get them.

    May 18, 2012 at 6:37 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Ashley

    Anyone who uses the “word” “welp,” should be fired as a group administrator. Who came up with this crap?

    May 18, 2012 at 10:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   neeneigh

    This exact same thing happened to me. Fascist Meetup-ers!

    Also, it’s “twiddles”, idiot.

    May 18, 2012 at 11:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   yolanda

    Rude, simply rude way of saying it. I understand never making it to meetings. Sure, you want to go, but not “right now” because at this moment, which is when the meeting is planned, you simply are too tire. Too tired to socialize with complete strangers. Too tired to be the new guy in the room. You really want to socialize more, but it’s never at a time when you’re both rested and relaxed as well as have free time. So it never happens.

    May 18, 2012 at 11:21 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Lily

    If anyone wants to start a “twittling”-thumb meetup group, I’d definitely join. And come to meetings. Wouldn’t want to make anyone *tear!

    May 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Joe Blow

    When we first moved to a new city, we joined a Bulldog specific meetup group. The owners expected you to pay them per person attending for “hosting” meetups at free local dog parks that they simply announced using the automated system. Then, when you went, they were total jerks and barely even acknowledged that you were there.

    In summary, meetup.com people are weird.

    May 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Toom

    I’ve been reading PAN for…two? Three years? And this is the first entry that’s made me wish there wasn’t a policy of blocking writers’ names, because all I want to do now is send “Hey buddy, fuck yooooouuuuu!” over and over again until I die of old age.

    May 19, 2012 at 7:30 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Charlie

    I get a kick out of people who compress words in their tweet (ie mths for months) in order to conserve on characters, but then throw in superflous stuff like four o’s in “soooo,” three ???’s and so, so many …..’s.

    May 19, 2012 at 11:27 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Not Jen

    The sad thing is that the note-writer wants to start a career in marketing and promotions (yes, I looked up the Meetup group). Egads.

    May 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   The Elf

      It’s okay. Since she’s never been allowed to fail at anything (trophies for participation!) and she’s been told that she’s awesome at everything she does, surely her lack of customer service and communication skills won’t impede her career in marketing and promotions. They’ll *have* to hire her, or else Mommy will call the boss.

      May 21, 2012 at 6:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Another Jen

    So we know it’s not a Grammar Fans Meetup group. Good riddance!

    May 20, 2012 at 10:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Hannah

    Joining a meetup group =/= RSVPing to events.

    I’m a member of like 5 or 6 groups and have never attended an event. I haven’t gotten any meetups. Nobody gives a shit.

    Bizarre behavior.

    May 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Snoofy bang

    LOL – I joined a few of those meetup groups a while back when I was new to a city. I never ended up going to any of them, even though I kept meaning to, and RSVP’d as a maybe once or twice. Then I forgot about the site. Suddenly began to get all of these PAN emails which made me really glad I steered clear. Thanks for confirming my hunches, meetup groups.

    May 27, 2012 at 3:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Gybe

    I agree with many comments here. This email is a little harsh. But I organize a group on Meetup so I can kind of relate to it. There are so many after years of being a member, still yet to show up. But I’m hoping that someday they will?? What annoys me the most is the ones that RSVP every single time “NO”. Why did you join my group if you can’t come every fricking time?

    May 28, 2012 at 3:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Kathryn

      I’m a member of several Meetup groups, and some of them have a knack for scheduling things when I can’t attend, or further away than the description implied. I’ve dropped a few Meetups when it was clear they weren’t going to have anything I could attend, but others I stick around in for other reasons. There’s one where I participate on the message boards, and others have such cool events I keep hoping I will get to go sometime.

      Most of the organizers I know are most annoyed when people RSVP Yes to an event with a waiting list and then don’t show up, or forget to change an RSVP until right before the event so nobody on the waiting list can get there.

      Jul 14, 2012 at 8:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   RubyRuby

    I’m going to put serious money on this being a mothers group. I have only ever seen this particular flavor of passive-aggressiveness in groups of mothers of preschool children, but I’ve seen it every single time that I have interacted with this type of group.

    Jun 5, 2012 at 10:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Anonymous

    Meetup.com groups are a goldmine for passive-aggressive emails. I lost count of the number of hosts who out-right demanded that everyone rate the group after one meeting. Maybe because we didn’t want to be rude and tell the whole website that it was boring? One time I left a positive review, and the woman running the meetup changed the entire theme of the group to something annoying. Now, she still uses my positive review for every group she hosts.

    Sometimes these groups are a good way to meet cool people, but it’s totally random who will show up and who will be crazy. Also, the crazy ones will try to monopolize the conversation. Pray that the crazy one is not the host.

    Jun 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Carolinguia

    I thought the purpose of meetups was to have a standing back-up plan until you got your social life in order, like just after a move or a break up, for example? It is reasonable for me to prefer the freedom to organize my social calendar as I see fit, and to have the freedom to bail and reschedule if I get sick, have an emergency at work, or something way more awesome and fun comes up. Maybe it’s not for me, after all.

    Jun 25, 2012 at 11:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   jen

    I ws booted recently from one for not changing my profile picture.. I was like Really? Whatever. The whole group wasn’t my type of people anyway. Leaves ME open to find a better group.. that isn’t so petty to kick someone out over the fact they haven’t changed a freaking picture. lol

    Jun 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Jessie

    So you never showed up to our meetups, which means you must HATE US! And by us, I mean me! And by me, I mean the poor lady whose only problem was that WAHHHH Daddy never loved me! …. and other fine examples of humanity. :|

    Sep 23, 2012 at 12:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up