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Lactose Intolerance

May 25th, 2012 · 51 comments

Writes Steph in Toronto: “Most of the notices posted in the elevator of my condo building are pretty standard (fire alarm drills, etc.) but this one’s special. It just raises so many questions: Was the milk expired? Were they throwing it at someone? How much milk are we talking about that it’s a ‘matter of public safety’? I need to know!”

We have received reports of a resident throwing MILK off their balcony on the southeast side of the building. This is disgusting, unsanitary, and extremely messy for the residents below you. Do not ever throw or drop anything off your balcony – this is a matter of public safety as well as cleanliness, and legal charges will be pursued against any resident caught doing this at any time. We expect all residents to treat this building with courtesy and respect. Remember – this is your home too.

related: Urine in bottles thrown out windows is disgusting

FILED UNDER: milk · that's unsanitary · Toronto · WTF?

51 responses so far ↓

  • #1   AMoparGirl

    Spoiled milk is rank, wth would you do that? If it lays on the ground in warm weather, it will stink the place up!

    May 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #2   Daniel

    I would hardly consider this note passive aggressive.

    May 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   FeRD bang

      Another thing you’d hardly consider, it seems: Reading the subhead right up there at the top of every single page on this site, where it promises:

      funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people

      May 25, 2012 at 4:29 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Ma'am

      Chill, FeRD. It’s not that serious.

      May 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   PAC

      Props to FeRD for bringing the passive-aggressive!

      May 25, 2012 at 9:13 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Poltergeist

      Even if not all notes on here are passive aggressive, they’re usually at least aggressive, unreasonable, unnecessary, douchey, silly, and/or overly dramatic. This one is pretty straightforward and warranted. It even has proper spelling and grammar.

      May 26, 2012 at 12:57 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #3   shwo! bang

    It’s a typo. They were actually throwing MLK off the balcony. Still extremely messy for the residents below.

    May 25, 2012 at 4:32 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Gladystopia

      No no no–you’re thinking of Michael Jackson’s baby throwing Suge Knight off the balcony because Knight told Biggie to kill Elvis.

      May 26, 2012 at 12:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Doodle Bean

      NO! It was the Kraken throwing a unicorn off the balcony because the unicorn was having an affair with the Loch Ness Monster… plus Bigfoot was urging her on!

      May 27, 2012 at 9:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #4   FeRD bang

    I wouldn’t be surprised if this is someone eating breakfast cereal in the morning on their balcony, and then when they’re done, just flinging whatever milk’s left in the bowl over the railing. Which isn’t that much different from just flinging a cigarette butt, and we know legions of people do that.

    So, yeah, of course it’s shitty. And, yeah, of course people do it.
    Remember: We suck.

    May 25, 2012 at 4:33 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #5   The Elf

    Are you sure it’s milk?

    May 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   shwo! bang

      Unless Peter North lives on the next floor.

      May 25, 2012 at 4:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   redheadwglasses

      Wow, then that guy is prolific!

      May 30, 2012 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #6   Mrs. Pickles

    My husband and I lived in a ground floor flat with another flat ideally juxtaposed with ALL of their windows and their balcony hanging over our miniscule patio (and bedroom, kitchen, bathroom windows 2/3 of which we were like to be naked in at certain points, but never mind). The two male students who lived there tossed their cigarette butts, burned toast, egg shells and unwanted plants out the window and into our world. We collected it all in a bucket and one fine day, climbed a ladder and dumped it all onto their balcony.

    Oddly, they never said hello when we’d see them about.

    May 25, 2012 at 4:41 pm   rating: 83  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Ma'am

      After spending last weekend at a music festival, I’m no longer shocked at what people will just toss on the ground. Win for the Pickles family ;)

      May 25, 2012 at 4:46 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Greg House

      I love this! You and Mr. Pickles can hang out with me anytime! :)

      May 25, 2012 at 6:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Poltergeist

      You’re cool Mrs. Pickles. Does your first name happen to be Didi, and is your husband’s name Stu?

      May 26, 2012 at 12:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #7   Monica

    Sorry to be all logical, but I think the “safety hazard” refers to the “do not ever throw or drop anything” part.

    Unless the milk was being dumped onto a linoleum surface.

    And three cheers for the Pickleses for their innovative solution to douchebag neighbors.

    May 25, 2012 at 5:02 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #8   me

    the jerk that lived above me at my old apt building puked off his balcony…my flowers were disgusting to clean up… jerk off. glad i moved away from there.

    May 25, 2012 at 6:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   me too

      once lived in an apartment complex overrun with college kids … this happened to my porch on several occasions. one time the offender actually came down and cleaned up!

      May 25, 2012 at 9:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Doodle Bean

      Hallelujah! That was a miracle!!

      May 27, 2012 at 9:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #9   Alex

    I get that it’s not passive aggressive, but it’s really not that unusual either. Perfectly calm response to a not particularly unusual problem for people living in apartments.

    May 25, 2012 at 6:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   jadefirefly

      But it -should- be unusual! Why would someone think it’s okay to throw -milk- off a balcony?!

      May 25, 2012 at 7:50 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Jami

      Why would anyone think it’s okay to throw ANYTHING off their balcony.

      Okay, I’m guilty of throwing water off mine. However 1: I live in a house and no one lives below me. 2: I always make sure it goes into the lawn.

      May 25, 2012 at 9:21 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   The Elf

      Me too, Jami. Like you, I live in a house and no one lives below me. So any mess I make is mine to clean up and affects no one else. That makes all the difference in the world.

      May 29, 2012 at 10:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #10   SMC

    What is it about Toronto – when I lived there, I was hit by garbage someone threw off the sixth or seventh floor (specifically, I got hit with an empty Breyer’s Frozen Dessert tub), called security, and pointed to the balcony that the garbage was thrown off of.

    The next day, there was a similar notice to the one posted here, but it mentioned dirty diapers specifically. :S

    May 25, 2012 at 7:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Pourquoi pas?

      Probably the French influence.

      May 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Connaissez-vous le Canada?

      …in Toronto?

      May 26, 2012 at 3:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   meeper

      It’s Toronto. No explanation needed.

      May 29, 2012 at 10:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   Gladystopia

    I once chucked a pot of overly-peppery chicken soup out a sixth-floor window into a deserted alley below. But it was raining at the time, so it wasn’t like the soup was gonna stay there for long. And I LOOKED first, to make sure no one was around…

    Also, I was 21 and a major asshole.

    May 26, 2012 at 12:07 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Doodle Bean

      I’m glad you added that last sentence!!

      May 27, 2012 at 9:03 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #12   CharlesMichaelWilliam

    When you have been so carefull you are a rare Diamond.
    I think they throw the milk in a bottle or in a Pack down the balcony otherwise the writer could have written to pour or to tip the milk. Even if you got a plastic bottle with a Little milk in it against your head

    May 26, 2012 at 12:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   CharlesMichaelWilliam

      accidentily i Post and wasnt ready
      against your Head youre Knocket Out. And the smell is terrible. I pour accidentily milk in my Car. I had to replace the carpet.

      May 26, 2012 at 12:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Tatterdemalion

      I agree that there’s some possibility the offender had just dropped a dangerous flying milk container off the balcony. If the milk had gone bad and someone was feeling lazy and sociopathic, I could see them doing that. Makes sense to me. :-)

      Now, I hope you don’t mind my asking… I’m incredibly curious what language you grew up speaking!

      It’s an academic curiosity on my part, as a sometime English teacher; something about your word choices/usage patterns reminds me a little of various other languages but I can’t quite figure it out.

      May 26, 2012 at 4:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Noelegy

      This is making me think of the time my sister-in-law went to the grocery store and had put the bags in the trunk of the car (this is pre-SUV days). A frozen chicken rolled out of the bags.

      In the summer.

      I’ll leave it to you to guess how they discovered that the chicken had been left behind.

      May 29, 2012 at 12:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #13   CharlesMichaelWilliam

    I’m from Germany.

    May 26, 2012 at 7:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Doodle Bean

      Charles, your translation program is bad. What it produces is garbled.

      Please keep using it because it makes me laugh.

      Thank you!

      May 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Tatterdemalion

      Oh, interesting. I thought I recognized a German capitalization pattern but couldn’t tell for certain. Thanks!

      May 28, 2012 at 5:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   Snoofy bang

    Reminds me of the time someone tossed a full cup of beer down several rows at a concert, which landed on my head and soaked me.

    At least, I hope it was beer.

    May 27, 2012 at 3:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   infanttyrone

      Come, come !
      Of course it was beer….

      May 27, 2012 at 1:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Eileen

      Depends on the concert, I think.

      May 27, 2012 at 2:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #15   someone

    I don’t think this note raises any of those questions. It’s a pretty appropriate response to someone throwing milk off of their balcony.

    May 28, 2012 at 12:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   CharlesMichaelWilliam

    @Doodle Bean

    I dont think my english is that bad. I’m using no translation program.
    Am i a Little Bit excused for my Mistakes when i say it was early in the Morning (7:20 am) and i Write the Post on my iPhone while Wartung for the Butcher to open:.)

    May 28, 2012 at 5:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Noelegy

      @CharlesMichaelWilliam: your English is not bad, but “Wartung” made me smile. :)

      May 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Really?

      Your English is fine, it’s actually better than some native English speakers!

      May 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #17   Juniper

    It isn’t milk. Milky.. sure. But not milk.

    May 28, 2012 at 6:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #18   CharlesMichaelWilliam

    My iPhone often suggest me german words while writing a post and like you see i wasn’t carefull enough to eleminate all mistakes :.)

    May 29, 2012 at 4:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #19   CharlesMichaelWilliam

    I heard a Story in the Radio that bottles were thrown Out of a window and when policemen arrived they find a weeds Garden in the Appartment.

    May 30, 2012 at 5:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   Joshua

    An elderly man lives above me and constantly throws food out the window. And I’m talking large pizzas with only one slice eaten, whole turkey club sandwiches, etc. Once I was sitting by my window reading and and entire microwave-bag’s worth of popcorn came raining through my window. Milk would be worse, but not by much!

    May 31, 2012 at 3:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Poltergeist

      I usually respect my elders, but I think that man has spent enough time on Earth. You should be a good neighbor and nudge him along, i.e. nudge him out his window.

      May 31, 2012 at 5:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #21   CharlesMichaelWilliam

    Perhaps you can smash the food with a Tennis racket right back.

    May 31, 2012 at 2:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up