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Really? You couldn’t just stick with carnations?

May 30th, 2012 · 42 comments

“Apparently my dear Dad was the glue that held our family together, because it has totally disintegrated after his passing in 1999,” writes our submitter in Massachusetts.

After years of putting up with “greedy demands, backstabbing, and sheer fuckery amongst the moochers in the clan,” our submitter recently visited her father’s grave to discover this unsigned note perched on top. (Underneath it, she presumes, her Dad was rolling over.)

Really? You couldn't just stick with carnations?

related: For sale, cemetery plot, never used.

FILED UNDER: family · signed with love · that's disrespectful

42 responses so far ↓

  • #1   The Elf

    …. Did they expect the deceased Granpa to take the note?

    Might be more than just family strife going on here!

    May 30, 2012 at 7:02 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   H for Toy

      It’s the ultimate in PA notes.

      “Dear Grandpa, I know you can’t read this, but chances are, the next person to visit the grave will. I’ll use your grave to passive-aggressively leave a note for them. Love Always!”

      May 30, 2012 at 7:58 am   rating: 156  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Jami

      Or they might be venting the only way they know how and expected the note to be taken away by a groundskeeper long before anyone else got there.

      May 30, 2012 at 9:31 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   H for Toy

      Jami, don’t be a fun-sucker.

      May 30, 2012 at 10:32 am   rating: 70  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   Kaylee

      I read that as sun-f****er

      May 30, 2012 at 12:14 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   H for Toy

      That could be painful!

      May 30, 2012 at 2:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   H for Toy

      or… the hottest sex anyone’s ever had.

      May 30, 2012 at 2:45 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

  • #2   Laura

    “unsigned note”? Pretty sure it says “Love, [name illegible]” at the bottom there.

    May 30, 2012 at 7:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Robin

      It says “Love Always”.

      May 30, 2012 at 7:50 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   kathryn

      I think it is unsigned – ‘I think it says love, Always’. Unsigned is better – then the clan can have many more years debating which a$$hole left the note. They can take sides and blame whole factions for ‘knowing’ who wrote it and those they feel actually did write it. Forget the 2nd generation (the submitter says ‘dad’ died and the writer calls him ‘Granpa’) this could stretch on into the 3rd and 4th generations- to people who didn’t even know the decedent personally – living on through family lore regarding the anonymous note on Dad’s grave. All due to the sh*t-stirring of one passive-agressive note. It’s a beautiful thing.

      May 30, 2012 at 7:58 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   The Elf

      The note-writer’s name is Always.

      Hey, it’s better than Bear Blu or Pilot Inspektor.

      May 30, 2012 at 9:53 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Lil'

      But not as good as Jermajesty.

      May 30, 2012 at 10:25 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   aaa bang

      This would be quite a glorious act of passive aggressive shit-stirring if Cool Kid McNoteWriter there remembered to disguise their handwriting. If they didn’t and somebody else figured out who wrote the note, then this magnificent fuckery just morphs into a spectacularly hilarious fail.

      May 30, 2012 at 10:53 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Zsa

      There is no “s” at the end. I’m going with Ailicay.

      May 30, 2012 at 10:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   The Elf

      Psssht. Like Ailicay is a real name!

      May 30, 2012 at 11:08 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   Laura

      Ohhh. Hahaha, I’m an idiot. It’s so obvious after the second viewing.

      May 30, 2012 at 11:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   FeRD bang

      @2.7: Oh, and your birth certificate says, “The Elf”? ;-)

      May 30, 2012 at 11:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   FeRD bang

      I don’t think it’s obvious at all, and people who don’t know how to use printed stationery PISS ME OFF!

      Grandpa would never have stood for this, when he was still with us!

      May 30, 2012 at 12:01 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   The Elf


      No, it says “Elf”. The “The” is to set me apart from all the other Elfs.

      May 30, 2012 at 12:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.12   H for Toy

      I always thought Elf was your married name.

      May 30, 2012 at 4:13 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.13   Donna Martin Graduates!

      Definitely female handwriting.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #3   Adriana

    Hey, this sounds like my family, except my “granpa” is still alive to witness all this crap.

    May 30, 2012 at 10:17 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #4   Gill

    What the ever loving fuck? I mean, even with the grudge of the century going on, how can someone stoop *that* low?

    May 30, 2012 at 10:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   The Elf

      You ask that with the Westboro Baptist Church still in existence? They have revealed to me one important fact of human existence: there is no limit to how low one can stoop.

      May 30, 2012 at 11:07 am   rating: 57  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Gill

      You make a good point. Let’s hope someone doesn’t come along and try to stoop lower.

      May 31, 2012 at 1:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   Zsa

    I’m feeling the self-loathing in the note- “thankful you’re not here to see this.”
    “This” being me leaving a PA note that is *just* vague enough to stir up trouble so that I can steal all the money out of the trust while the rest of the family is fighting.

    May 30, 2012 at 10:55 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #6   kermit

    Oh my. I don’t feel right about laughing at something like this. There are certain lines that you just don’t cross, and leaving PA notes on a grave is a huge red line not to be crossed.

    May 30, 2012 at 2:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #7   Shanna

    It could be worse. I need to rummage through my moms stuff to find the super passive if not aggressive note a few of my aunts and one uncle signed. It was saying how after my grandfather died we were all being compared as apple to oranges. What does that mean?

    May 30, 2012 at 7:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   aliceblue

      They are fruits? Math class traumatized them as children and they are still working through it?

      May 30, 2012 at 10:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #8   Bluecanary

    I don’t know…unless the submitter knows something about the context of the note that we don’t, I don’t find it very passive aggressive. In fact, it seems rather heartfelt. And people do leave notes on graves quite frequently. You’d be surprised the things people leave.

    May 30, 2012 at 8:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Poltergeist

      If you believe in communicating with the dead, why not simply talk to Grandpa when you visit his grave? Your conversation would most likely stay between just the two of you unless you perform a seance at the next family reunion or he comes to crazy Aunt Frieda in a dream. There is no reason to leave such a note when you know other living family members will see it…that is unless you were looking to start anonymous trouble (a form of PA), in which case this individual succeeded!

      May 31, 2012 at 2:30 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Bluecanary

      I have no idea why people leave notes on graves. What I’m saying is, this is not an isolated incident, it happens all the time, and I can’t believe that it is always done with the intent that some other family member find it and be offended. If anything, the submitter chose to read the note, which was really probably not her business, and be offended by it. I’d imagine that this family, like many others, has turned into raving assholes with the death of the patriarch, and there is probably more to it than we are being told. In any case, I don’t find it passive aggressive, just sad.

      May 31, 2012 at 9:33 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Poltergeist

      Leaving notes on graves may not be a rare occurrence, but most, I assume, usually consist of descriptions of joyful life events and/or saying that they miss and love the departed, which shouldn’t stir up trouble with anybody who is alive. This was obviously a jab at the other family members. I find it hard to believe that this individual thought only Grandpa would look at this. I’m not taking sides or defending anybody, just making an observation.

      May 31, 2012 at 11:33 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   Bluecanary

      And I don’t know for sure that it wasn’t, so I can’t say for sure either. Though I agree with the poster above who says that there seems to be a tone of self loathing to the note. So maybe it was someones confessional, for their behavior as well as the rest of the family, which the submitter just assumed was about them. Maybe because they feel guilty too? Death makes families into assholes, and in my experience it’s never just the one good person against all the evil people…it’s everyone acting a fool. My point I guess is that maybe the family should work together not to let death and the attendant bs drive them apart, instead of carrying the passive aggressiveness forward by putting it on the internet for the world to see. Unless the submitter knows 100% the actual intent.

      Jun 1, 2012 at 10:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #9   aliceblue

    Now surely I’m not the only one who’d be tempted to find some of gramp’s old stationary and write a reply back?

    May 30, 2012 at 10:41 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Lil'

      Dear Always,

      Do you see the irony in wishing me a peaceful after-life and telling me bad news in the same note? You are making it kind of hard to relax. Give me a break, huh? Go write Uncle Harvey three rows over. He’d love to hear from you…and if you happen to have a cool drink on hand, leave it for him. That SOB needs it.


      May 31, 2012 at 11:54 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   DaveGI


      BTW, now that I’m dead I can see you when you touch yourself!


      Jun 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   Lenny!

      DaveGI: I’m thinking that type of reply from dear ol’ Grandpa might be more disturbing than him responding from the afterlife to tell his ungrateful grandchild to quit bugging him; There was a reason he didn’t fight going into the light.

      Jun 2, 2012 at 12:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #10   Delish

    What the note should say is “Grandpa you are fucking delicious!”

    Jun 1, 2012 at 1:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   Brady Partridge

    “hope you have been…”???




    Reeling and arocking?


    Jun 1, 2012 at 8:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   kookoos

      reborn and living

      Jun 2, 2012 at 1:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #12   Vulpis

    Hmm. On the one hand, ‘talking’ to Grandpa at the grave might have been better than leaving a note–but frankly, I feel sorry for the note-writer. Considering the ‘Grandpa’ to the posters’ ‘dad’ (not to mention the poster’s comments on the whole thing), I’m betting this is one of the kids in the family upset with how the ‘adults’ are behaving, and expressing it the only way they can think of without making things worse for themselves. :-/

    Jun 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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