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To spray or not spray?

June 3rd, 2012 · 73 comments

At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”

And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.

If you "poo" in the "loo"....Please don't spray perfume, because it still smells "ewww". (There is nothing worse than perfumed poo. The "poo" smell is still there, but not we have another assault on our poor nose.) We 'poo' too.... It's OK.... Really.....

related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?

FILED UNDER: Dallas/Fort Worth · ellipses-crazed · message to all intended for one · odor · shit

73 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Lauri

    I’m team “courtesy flush”. As soon as you smell the first stink, start flushing as needed to keep up. It doesn’t always work, but at least you tried.

    Jun 3, 2012 at 10:52 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   golden lining

      Plus, the courtesy flush gives the bladder-shy a pee prompt.

      Jun 3, 2012 at 11:14 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   beanz

      Agreed! EXCEPT… The worst is the backsplash from the courtesy flush that tends to occur with public grade toilets. I hate thinking of my ass having been splashed with fecal water, even if it gets wiped off.

      Jun 12, 2012 at 11:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #2   SeeYouInTea

    I hate nasty smells with a bit o’ fragrance on top. It’s disgusting. No one expects a bathroom to smell like roses.

    Jun 3, 2012 at 10:59 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

  • #3   Plora

    I’m allergic to a lot of body sprays and perfumes, so when women do this (especially in front of me) I break out into hives. Team notewriter for me, definitely!

    Jun 3, 2012 at 11:10 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   AshesVonDust

      Agreed! Though, I also have asthma, so the addition of perfume/scented products affects my ability to breathe.

      Team Scent-Free Workplaces for LIFE!
      (Seriously, don’t get me started on the chemicals in perfume and what it does to the human body… DON’T)

      Jun 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Ratastic

      YES. Almost all perfumes give me migraines. I’d rather smell even the most awful poo stank for the five minutes I’m in the bathroom than spend the rest of the day with a wicked headache.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 4:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   shwo! bang

    Why do you think they call it eau de toilette?

    Jun 3, 2012 at 11:16 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Jessica

      Because “toilette” in French doesn’t refer to something you pee and poop into?

      That being said, you just reminded me of a favorite movie of mine “Idiocracy” (your comment, not you, yourself). In the movie, if you haven’t seen it, they think drinking water is weird. When the protagonist tries to tell them otherwise, the response is, “Water? Like, from the toilet?” Eau de toilette, indeed!

      Jun 4, 2012 at 1:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Lil'

      Relax, Jessica. It was a joke.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 7:43 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Gwan

      Jokes aside, you do pee into “toilettes” in France. The meaning of one’s “toilette” (grooming oneself) is older, but “toilettes” came to be used for toilets as a euphemism (the same way you say “bathroom” for a room with toilets but no bath in it). We can see this origin (the same process happened in English) not only with ‘eau de toilette’ but also English words such as ‘toiletries’ or ‘toilet bag’.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 9:10 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Jessica

      Relax, Lil’, I was aware of that fact.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 6:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Jessica

      @Gwan, and why do toiletries exist? Is it for personal grooming, thereby sticking to the original meaning of the word “toilette”?

      I’ve never heard of the phrase “toilet bag”, but then again, I’ve never been to France.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 6:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   H for Toy

      Toilet bag sounds like an insult.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 7:31 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   Lil'

      Sorry, Jess. My bad. I guess it was the over the top bitchiness that threw me…”your comment, not you, yourself.” Carry on.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 12:06 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #4.8   Jessica

      Please point out the “over the top bitchiness”, Lil’.

      Jun 6, 2012 at 1:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.9   Poltergeist

      Hi, I’m a professional mediator. How about I call both of you bitches and we call it a day.

      Jun 6, 2012 at 1:50 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.10   Jessica

      @Poltergeist, because I don’t think Lil’ is actually a bitch/bitchy, and I want to know how I upset her to the point where she referred to me as such?

      Inquiring minds want to know, as it were.

      Jun 6, 2012 at 3:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.11   Stuffin'

      I’m with H for Toy on this one. Example: Hey Jessica, don’t be such a toilet bag!

      Jun 8, 2012 at 11:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.12   Jessica

      Another person calling me yet another name, but no one will answer why.

      Interesting. I guess it’s easier to mock and call people names than it is to explain to said person how they’re coming across incorrectly so that said person can modify their behavior in the future.

      Jun 9, 2012 at 3:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.13   dimahaiel

      Hey Jessica, I suspect they were reading this:
      “That being said, you just reminded me of a favorite movie of mine “Idiocracy” (your comment, not you, yourself).”
      and thinking that you’d called shwo!’s comment idiotic.

      I read it as that the comment reminded you of the movie “Idiocracy”, but I can see how it could have been misconstrued.

      Jun 15, 2012 at 1:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #5   Rei

    This is why they need to just put air freshener in the bathrooms at workplaces. Perfume and body spray are not made to cover up that kind of reek.

    Jun 3, 2012 at 11:17 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Uly

      How about a simple fan system?

      Jun 4, 2012 at 7:27 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Jami

      Doesn’t work. What they need is those sprays with the odor neutralizers. Those work.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 9:06 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Redheadwglasses

      The fan systems DO work when the air pressure is set properly. Which is usually is not.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 12:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   GhostWriter bang

      What they need is a spraycan of VaPOOrizer.

      Jun 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   AshesVonDust

      Actually, Jami, they work by temporarily(?) deadening your scent receptors, not actually removing scent particles from the air. No thanks! :)

      Jun 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #6   Chris

    I hate air fresheners in bathrooms. All it does it make it smell like someone crapped in a flower shop.

    Jun 3, 2012 at 11:40 pm   rating: 75  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Noelegy

      Which reminds me of my dad’s favorite joke, the one about the Avon lady who got on the elevator and farted. She reached into her sample bag and sprayed pine-scented air freshener around. A drunk guy got on afterward and started sniffing. “What’s that smell?” he asked.

      “Oh, do you like it?” she replied.

      “Smells like someone shit a Christmas tree!” he said.

      I’m Team Note Writer all the way. Thankfully, my department got moved to a different floor, where we don’t have to share the bathrooms with anyone else (their badges won’t admit them to this floor, so they can’t come upstairs and nasty up our bathroom), but when we were on the lower floor, there was someone who would spray a LOT of stinky perfume around in the bathroom. I’m not sensitive to perfumes and colognes unless they’re VERY strong, and whatever this stuff was, it was strong. You could taste it. Ugh.

      Jun 7, 2012 at 1:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #7   meri

    what ever happened to a good old book of matches? It’s better than flowers.

    Jun 3, 2012 at 11:59 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Beatus Mongous

      Agreed. We use it at my work.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   deprogrammed

    What ever happened to exhaust fans? Every bathroom needs one, or two, or three, depending on how many stalls there are. And damn energy conservation, save my sinuses and keep those bitches running on high 24-7.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 12:03 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Zorin

      Most commercial building restrooms have passive exhaust ducts.

      It works like this: Over each stall there’s a vent that leads to a pipe that goes to the roof. There is no fan. Instead, one or several regular HVAC ducts are run to the restroom. These ducts create positive pressure, since there’s no return duct, and that forces the air out of the aforementioned exhaust vents.

      The result is: The restroom always gets fresh air and you don’t have to maintain additional exhaust fans.

      The only downside is, if all the exhaust ducts get clogged for whatever reason, smelly poo air will now exit the restroom into the building. Oops!

      Jun 4, 2012 at 12:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Clumber

      And you have just described our building, except that the intake fan for the HVAC that vents into our server room is located about 6 inches in front of the exhaust for the restrooms. It is pure hell to have to open the server room door at the end of the week… Sometimes we honestly use the “coroner’s trick” of a dab of Mentholatum on the upper lip before entering.

      Jun 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #9   Lenny!

    The saddest part of this note is the attempt at a poetic flow in the beginning, then, realizing they’re writing about poo, decided to give up the trade and return to their day job as Dilbert.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 1:31 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      Yes! PAN in poetry or prose, but not both.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 8:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #10   xMariex

    I hate public restrooms and I tend to get grossed out really easily, so while I hate strong perfume I very much would rather there be air freshener in public restrooms. Even in the women’s restroom there seem to be plenty of jerks who make messes and don’t bother to flush… An air freshener at least makes it somewhat bearable to keep me from gagging while in there… or else I force myself to hold it, which is unhealthy…

    Jun 4, 2012 at 1:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   The Elf

      You’d rather smell poo + Tropical Breeze than just plain poo?

      Put me on team flush the damn toilet, don’t leave a nasty mess, do a courtesy flush if it is that bad, run a fan if there is one, but please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t spray Fake Vanilla air freshner and think that it actually freshens the air.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 8:40 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #11   Cyberjar88

    This is why I always open the window when I use the toilet at home.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 2:23 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #12   Junebug

    But I am not spraying! I poo roses and potpourri!

    Jun 4, 2012 at 7:13 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

  • #13   Lil'

    An old lady passed on some words of wisdom to me. She said as she exited a stinky restroom, “I don’t know why people don’t realize if they spray a little Lysol into the toilet bowl the smell wouldn’t linger so long.” Gotta say, she was right…except Glade Neutralizer works better. There’s my PSA of the Day.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 8:16 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #14   Jami

    Team Sprayer. At least they’re trying to do something about the smell. Just flushing and using a fan does NOT help and matches are a fire safety issue. If others don’t like it, then start investing in some of the Glade Neutralizer like Lil’ suggested. It will also neutralize the smell of the perfume.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 9:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      The odor neutralizers are a different beast than the fake scent air freshners. They’re not nearly so bad.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 10:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #15   Dane Zeller

    The last time I checked, odor was not on the electromagnetic spectrum. That means the smell of sh*t is made of particles, not waves. Freshen that loo up with anything you want to spray, but the sh*t bits are still going up your nose and into your lungs.

    Sh*t happens, so to speak.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 9:15 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Noelegy

      Ah yes, the fecal mist phenomenon.

      Jun 7, 2012 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   discopitbull

    Sprays are just gross; cloying fake-flower scented poo? How is that better than just the poo alone? A courtesy flush immediately post deuce coupled with sufficient air-exchange exhaust systems should do the job. I’m all about water conservation at home, but at work it’s just rude to leave floaters while you take the next five minutes to wipe.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 9:21 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #17   qua

    You mean it actually Smells in the Ladies Room … I know of several whom think there Sh*t don’t stink .. so to speak

    Jun 4, 2012 at 9:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #18   Moment

    My roommate last year had pineapple-scented bathroom spray. There’s no better way to make someone hate pineapple than repeatedly combining that smell with the smell of poop.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 10:52 am   rating: 61  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   kathryn

      I just love this comment and am disappointed that I can only click for one ‘thumbs up’!

      Jun 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   junebug

      I’ve read that if you have a dog who enjoys eating its own poo you should feed the dog pineapple. Some how it makes the taste of the poo unacceptable to the dog. So even dogs who eat their own feces find the combination of poop and pineapple disgusting.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 9:57 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #19   Samir Talwar

    I love that this is also a candidate for The Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 12:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Katie

      I would also like to point out that unless the note writer is in Europe, then the punctuation should go on the INSIDE of those unnecessary quotes. Funny notes are ruined by poor grammar. I’m going to start a letter writing campaign.

      Jun 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   The Elf

      I love that you are grammar checking the unnecessary quotes.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 6:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   Trix

      Actually, in UK English, which I presume is what is meant by English spoken in “Europe”, the punctuation there, ignoring the old quote-marks-for-emphasis-problem, is ok.

      If the phrase is punctuated by the original speaker or writer, or it is a complete sentence, it gets punctuated within the quote marks. If the sentence only contains elements from the original speaker/writer, then the punctuation goes on the outside.

      Jun 17, 2012 at 12:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #20   QBALL

    what’s sad is the I can recognize the scent of “white diamonds” instantly and when it wafts into the men’s room, I know a megapoo has been delivered, either that or I’m in the wrong loo

    Jun 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #21   Brian H

    I like this note. It’s so right. Too many people act like that smelling poop in the restroom is so bad. That’s what the restroom is for. Just grow up and relax about it.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #22   kermit

    The thing is that for all we know the pooper may have been spraying Demeter’s “Dirt” or “Cannabis Flower” perfume in there instead of flowery pot pourri.

    Yes, Internet you can buy perfume that smells like dirt and weed. www_demeterfragrance_com/58083_1_2_1/All-Classic-Scents_html. Although I don’t understand why anybody would buy the Bourbon smell. If you want to reek of booze, all you have to do is drink the real thing.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 7:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   it's naptime

      Do they have Wheat Field? I love the smell of wheat fields. Unless it’s downwind of the feed lot.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   GhostWriter bang

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure somebody is using Cannabis Flower in our restroom.

      Jun 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #23   Leonna

    I’d rather smell floral poo than regular poo. My friend had a huge fight with her husband about this because she couldn’t stand the scent of his crap and he thought floral poo smelled worse. Floral poo at least has hints of flowers – or musk – or sweetness or whatever. Not just poo.

    Jun 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Brian H

      A “huge fight” over the smell of poop in a bathroom. That’s just silly. I know it’s not the best smell in the world but it’s far from the worst I can assure you.

      If you ever smelled a body that has been decomposing for 48hrs after the person OD’d, you’d think poop smelled liked roses.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 2:50 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   BeefJerky

      “If you ever smelled a body that has been decomposing for 48hrs after the person OD’d, you’d think poop smelled liked roses.”
      So true!

      I’m on team don’t spray. Courtesy flushes can be helpful, as well as a good ventilation system. However, scented sprays really don’t help, and in fact tend to compound the problem.

      As for the people that don’t seem to be able to grasp the concept that a bathroom will have undesirable smells, get the hell over it! Seriously, it’s a bathroom, not a bedroom.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 6:03 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #23.3   Leonna

      Unless, of course, you live in a small studio apartment and your bathroom doesn’t have a window and is right next to the bed. In which case, yes, the smell IS in my bedroom.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.4   Leonna

      Also, re: the fight. You have never smelled this man’s poo. It would clear out the room after he farted, and clear out the house after a giant dump.

      Also, believe it or not, I have smelled many many dead bodies in my day and I would STILL take floral poo over regular poo.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #24   Justine

    Team Poo here. Poo smell is often pretty natural, though bad, yes. But get over it, you poo too. Even if you just had the worst smelling pile of shite ever, don’t spray. Open the windows or use matches. Or get odor neutralizers.
    One comment mentioning Fake Vanilla scent made me shudder. It’s the sweetness combining with the poopy that makes it just… goddamn gross.

    Jun 5, 2012 at 11:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #25   Redheadwglasses

    My boss stinks up the bathroom near our area then oversprays air freshener so bad, I can smell the air freshener at my desk and it is overpowering.

    No need for air fresheners. Poop stinks. We know it. Why pretend it doesn’t? Adding another offensive odor on top doesn’t help.

    Jun 5, 2012 at 12:10 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #26   common knowledge

    The simple solution to this would be known as the Courtesy Flush! I am so amazed at the number of coworkers who don’t do this. You drop one, you flush, it’s that easy. You may flush four times before you leave the restroom, but you won’t leave it polluted! Come on people!!

    Jun 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   creme brulee

      I don’t understand the courtesy flush. Once the offending item is underwater, isn’t the odor pretty much contained? How does flushing it help?

      Jun 5, 2012 at 3:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   The Elf

      Ah, how to say this….. It’s a matter of floaters vs. sinkers.

      Jun 5, 2012 at 6:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #27   trinityjade

    This starts off like the Dr. Seuss poem from hell.

    Jun 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #28   Powerfuldot

    I just gotta add that “spray” doesn’t have to mean Tropical Breeze or Shitty Flowers in a Field of Shit. Plain old Lysol is okay, but I really like ones that are usually labelled “cotton” or “fresh linen.” They usually smell like soap or clean laundry. There’s a pine-scented spray in our bathroom at home that covers the poop smell completely with a nice smell that isn’t food.

    Jun 8, 2012 at 7:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   The Elf

      Having your bathroom smelling like someone crapped in the forest or on a pile of clean laundry isn’t much improvement.

      Jun 8, 2012 at 7:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #29   Vulpis

    There’s also the problem that there are altogether too many ‘air fresheners’ that smell nauseating in large doses on their own *before* you add Eau du Poop into the mix. :-/ Not too keen on the note itself, but pro-OP’s sentiments that cause the note to be written.

    Jun 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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