The Silent Treatment

← Oh, and about that “cheese” in your Vegemite & Cheese sandwich… A one-two brunch →

June 8th, 2012 · 68 comments

Tom’s daughter, Meg, was upset that her mother made her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so she wrote this note to inform her mom of her “punishment.”

Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, six-year-old Elizabeth tried a similar approach. Her parents were so amused they’ve held on the note for decades since then.

When I have kids, I really hope I can manipulate them into this sort of thinking…

related: Buckets of my Tears

FILED UNDER: cheese · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012

68 responses so far ↓

#1 zenvelo

Won’t talk? I like a kid that won’t report you to Child Protective Services….

Jun 8, 2012 at 3:12 pm rating: 90

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#2 Polly

The times they do change. These days that kid would write a note saying she was covering her mouth with tape AND posting the “evidence” on YouTube.

Jun 8, 2012 at 3:55 pm rating: 90

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#3 Mrs.Beasley

But the exclamation point has a heart, so I guess there’s still hope for reconciliation.

Jun 8, 2012 at 4:24 pm rating: 90

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#4 April

That is one really well drawn heart. Wish I could draw hearts that well.

Jun 8, 2012 at 5:01 pm rating: 90

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#5 deprogrammed

Anybody tell her to tape her eyes to prevent the crying fit? Can I provide the tape?

Jun 8, 2012 at 6:48 pm rating: 90

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#6 Poltergeist

Dear Meg,

Oh…In that case, you will be receiving a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner every day until you move out of my house.

Love,
Mom

Jun 8, 2012 at 7:00 pm rating: 90

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- #6.1 t-rex
  
  Kids like grilled cheese, make it cold cheese, that will be more convincing.
  
  Sep 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm rating: 90
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#7 Poltergeist

Dear Elizabeth,

We are very pleased with ourselves. We really are.

Love,
Mom & Dad

Jun 8, 2012 at 7:13 pm rating: 90

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#8 havingfitz

I dunno. I’m almost 40 and I still think American cheese is the most disgusting stuff in the world: even the smell of it makes me gag. Anyone who served me a grilled cheese sandwich would probably get it thrown at their head.

Jun 8, 2012 at 7:56 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 Seanette
  
  You can use other forms of cheese in a grilled cheese, you know. I personally favor mozzarella, my mother likes sharp cheddar.
  
  Jun 8, 2012 at 11:43 pm rating: 90
- #8.2 AuntyBron
  
  I love Grilled cheese sammiches made with tomato-basil cheddar. Delish!
  
  Tomato-basil cheddar also makes kick-ass Mac and cheese.
  
  Jun 8, 2012 at 11:55 pm rating: 90
- #8.3 aliceblue
  
  Are those squares really cheese (I refused to eat them from about age 9 and have not seen them in 30+ years) or “cheese food?”
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 1:25 am rating: 90
- #8.4 WMDKitty
  
  They’re… whatever the hell “cheese food” is. It’s the dairy version of mystery meat…
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 4:07 am rating: 90
- #8.5 The Elf
  
  Havarti, especially dill. That stuff is amazing in a grilled cheese sandwich.
  
  American cheese, including the oft-maligned Velveeta, is a “processed cheese”. That means it is real cheese (cheddar) with extra whey blended in. That’s why it melts so easily and smoothly, and why it is so good in grilled cheese sandwiches. This processing actually makes it slightly better for you in that it is lower in fat. But it’s slightly worse because of preservatives and artificial colors. Pick your poison.
  
  I love cheese, even the stinky cheeses like Limburger. That I don’t recommend in a grilled cheese! But it is amazing spread on pumpernickle with slices red onions. Serve with dark beer. And don’t kiss anyone for at least 24 hours.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 7:31 am rating: 90
- #8.6 stickfigure
  
  Only an american could ruin the simple beauty of cheddar cheese by trying to flavour it with tomato and basil, or anything else for that matter.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm rating: 90
- #8.7 Poltergeist
  
  Only a non-American would give a fuck.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 10:37 pm rating: 90
- #8.8 stickfigure
  
  Are you implying that Americans have no standards? I’ll go along with that.
  
  Jun 13, 2012 at 3:16 am rating: 90
- #8.9 Poltergeist
  
  HOLY SHIT this tomato-basil cheddar is fucking delicious! It tastes like freedom! Bald eagles and fat people everywhere!
  
  Jun 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm rating: 90
- #8.10 Nunavut Guy
  
  Just add bacon…….warm cat turds taste god with bacon…….even cold ones.
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 7:07 pm rating: 90
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#9 Cris

Having a child not talking or with their mouth shut sounds more like a blessing than a punishment to me…

Jun 8, 2012 at 9:22 pm rating: 90

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- #9.1 heido
  
  Amen!
  
  Jun 11, 2012 at 12:42 pm rating: 90
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#10 Jami

What kind of kid doesn’t like grilled cheese?

Jun 8, 2012 at 9:36 pm rating: 90

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- #10.1 Mrs.Beasley
  
  Maybe it was Velveeta.
  
  Jun 8, 2012 at 10:51 pm rating: 90
- #10.2 aliceblue
  
  Same kind of kid who hated PB & J and bologna. My poor mom got lucky with kid #2 who ate anything but me – picky, p icky.
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 1:32 am rating: 90
- #10.3 Poltergeist
  
  I’m sorry alice, but any child who does not enjoy a PB&J sammich (exluding those with peanut allergies) is defective and needs to be reprogrammed.
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 6:01 am rating: 90
- #10.4 H for Toy
  
  You misunderstand, Poltergeist. She disliked PB&J with bologna. I can’t say that I blame her… pickles, sure. Bologna? not so much.
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 10:10 pm rating: 90
- #10.5 Dan
  
  Sorry Poltergeist, but PB&J sounds like a thoroughly disgusting combination. But then, I’m from Australia and I suspect that both ingredients are a little different this side of the pond. Had some American exchange students try it with the local product and the declared it gross.
  
  Jun 11, 2012 at 4:48 am rating: 90
- #10.6 kermit
  
  It sounds disgusting because it is disgusting, Dan. Real peanut butter (i.e. not the hydrogenated kind you can get in most grocery stores) and jam don’t go together at all. The sweetness of the jam combined with the sticky richness of the puréed nuts makes you want to gag. The only way to make it even remotely comestible is to add liquor to cut down on the overwhelming fat/rich taste.
  
  Jun 11, 2012 at 6:52 am rating: 90
- #10.7 Poltergeist
  
  You’re a terrible person and should be ashamed of yourself. If you were my child, I’d slip some pot into your lunchbox and send you off to school in style.
  
  Jun 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm rating: 90
- #10.8 Margie
  
  I love PB&J, and my parents never bought/buy the “hydrogenated kind you can get in most grocery stores”. Natural peanut butter really isn’t all that hard to come by. It sounds like you just don’t like it in general, kermit, which is fine, but don’t say that it’s definitely bad, and give some BS explanation for it, as if anyone who thinks it’s good is wrong. Opinions, my friend, they are called opinions, and they tend to vary from person to person. Although in this case, I share Poltergeist’s opinion. You should be ashamed of yourself.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 3:04 am rating: 90
- #10.9 WMDKitty
  
  A kid with sensory processing issues, i.e. ME.
  
  I’ve learned to tolerate cheese on a few foods, like pizza, where it’s kinda holding the food together. And there are a few cheeses I really like, asiago and parmesan. Feta isn’t too bad, either, in moderate quantities.
  
  Other than that, cheese just offends my senses. And my stomach.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 4:13 am rating: 90
- #10.10 kermit
  
  Margie, consider asking your parents to buy you a sense of humor.
  
  Natural peanut butter – i.e. the kind you can make in a food processor – separates into two layers (the crushed nut part and the oil part). Add jam to this concoction and most people will gag when they try to eat it. Just like they would gag if they tried to eat one stick of plain butter. (Worthy exception, Iowa fried butter sticks, but as we all have come to know, Iowans are nuts)
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 5:41 am rating: 90
- #10.11 H for Toy
  
  Kermit, remember, people eat peanut butter and mayonnaise. Nothing is out of the realm of possibility.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 6:49 am rating: 90
- #10.12 The Elf
  
  Speak for yourself, Kermit! Natural peanut butter on whole wheat bread with jam is prime comfort food. It’s second only to a grilled cheese sandwich (any kind of cheese, really, but I am a sucker for good old Velveeta) and tomato soup.
  
  Just stir the peanut butter and stick it in the fridge. The oil and nut parts stay together. That makes it less “sticky” feeling. It’s way better than the super sugary peanut butters! Those taste more like a dessert to me, not like a sandwich filling.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 7:20 am rating: 90
- #10.13 valleycat1
  
  My whole family eats PB with mayo – it’s a southern thang. At least now I use decent bread instead of the soft spongy white stuff we grew up on.
  
  I also had in-laws who made their PB sandwiches with mustard and bologna, which is where I draw the line!
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 9:26 am rating: 90
- #10.14 H for Toy
  
  Oh… valleycat… and I thought I was joking at 10.4 about peanut butter and bologna…
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 10:11 am rating: 90
- #10.15 Noelegy
  
  I’m Southern, and the concept of peanut butter with mayonnaise makes me want to go all Mr. Creosote.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 11:26 am rating: 90
- #10.16 Poltergeist
  
  Margie and The Elf know what’s up. I personally like to toast my bread before spreading PB&J on it. Crispy outside with a warm and gooey center. Mmmm! And while I always buy natural peanut butter, a little bit of JIF and Welch’s grape jelly never killed anybody.
  
  Kermit – Invest in a spoon and mix it. If you buy any natural peanut butter from the store, it’ll say right on the jar “Oil separation occurs naturally. Stir and refrigerate.”
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 11:03 pm rating: 90
- #10.17 Gladystopia
  
  My mom, back during my childhood days when I was (if this is, in fact, possible) an even pickier eater than I am now, decided that since I loved PB&J, if we were out of either component I might be persuaded that the following were acceptable compromises (after all, SHE liked them…):
  
  1. Out of peanut butter? I’d SURELY accept cream cheese with my grape jelly instead…
  
  2. Out of acceptable jelly (grape or strawberry)? Well, what’s more delicious in a peanut butter sammy than…slices of pimento-stuffed green olives?
  
  Try either of these on any five-year-old of your acquaintance. When you’ve cleaned up the resulting mess (because the best way to make a kid happy about some new, disgusting food combo is to tell her she won’t be leaving the table til she eats it, thus causing her to make it 7/8 of the way through the offending item before barfing up every meal she’d eaten since first tasting solid food)….anyway, when that’s taken care of, let me know how that experiment turns out. I mean, they tell me kids these days are more open-minded….
  
  Jun 16, 2012 at 5:33 am rating: 90
- #10.18 oi
  
  Peanut butter is disgusting. can’t stand it in any form or shape. Now are you telling me that you put it with jelly????!!! Both are sweet! Thought of that makes me sick. Then again sweets are not my thing. Except donuts. Now donuts are the food of god and heralds of heaven’s existence!
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 12:57 am rating: 90
- #10.19 Dana
  
  No, no. Brownies are. Especially warm and gooey right out of the oven.
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 2:34 am rating: 90
- #10.20 The Elf
  
  You know what’s good? Peanut butter filled creme donuts. Only one bakery I know does them, but they are to die (or possibly kill) for.
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 6:10 am rating: 90
- #10.21 Vulpis
  
  @oi If your peanut butter is sweet, I think you reeeally need to check what brand you’re getting, and/or make sure you’re not getting one of those ‘snack’ or dessert-type ones meant to be eaten alone,l or worse getting yourself confused with nutella. Decent peanut-butter is *salty* and nutty, not sweet–which is kinda the whole point of combining it with jelly, to get that salty and sweet combo.
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 11:18 am rating: 90
- #10.22 Poltergeist
  
  My mouth is watering at the thought of those donuts, The Elf. I’m going to hunt down a place that will make me one, or twenty, plus munchkin versions. I can be very persuasive.
  
  Jun 18, 2012 at 3:12 am rating: 90
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#11 L

I hate cheese. Especially cheddar. The smell of cooking cheddar cheese makes me gag – no exaggerating. I really hate almost all cheese.

Plus I’m lactose intolerant so I’m really not supposed to eat it anyways.

Jun 9, 2012 at 1:00 am rating: 90

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#12 shell

We are ALL lactose intolerate after we are weaned, really…

Jun 9, 2012 at 2:27 am rating: 90

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- #12.1 Jessica
  
  Please cite your sources.
  
  Jun 9, 2012 at 5:19 am rating: 90
- #12.2 ash
  
  “We are ALL lactose [intolerant] after we are weaned, really…”
  
  Incorrect.
  
  For most mammals this is the case, but for certain human populations this is not the case.
  
  The ability to drink milk is a “genetic mutation” that occurred around 7,500 years ago in certain European regions. Therefore meaning that some adults continue to produce lactase well into adulthood (though the activity levels are decreased.)
  
  Sources:
  iGenetics: A Molecular Approach by Peter J. Russell
  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3191413/?tool=pmcentrez
  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22643754
  
  Jun 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm rating: 90
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#13 Dan

@ L, #11

It is called Turophobia. We are just better than the rest.

Jun 9, 2012 at 3:38 am rating: 90

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#14 Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

The worst part is Meg is 27. She really really dislikes cheese.

Jun 9, 2012 at 5:30 am rating: 90

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#15 Brian H

I drove my mom nuts. On the rare occasions we went to McDonalds or Wendy’s I would insist on getting my hamburger with nothing on it. Meat, bun that’s it.

Jun 9, 2012 at 6:18 am rating: 90

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- #15.1 Poltergeist
  
  Having to say “One plain hamburger” to the cashier at McDonald’s drove your mother nuts? What happened when you put up a fight over eating your veggies? Was she prescribed a heavy dosage of lithium?
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 6:29 am rating: 90
- #15.2 Lil'
  
  I went to Mickey D’s recently and they gave me a plain burger by mistake. I was in a hurry and already on the road before I realized it, so I just ate it anyway. I realized after eating it that it’s the ketchup, pickles and onions that mask the chemical taste. Still love those fries though.
  
  Jun 11, 2012 at 9:06 am rating: 90
- #15.3 heido
  
  My son, too…plain Jane..no butter on toast, no gravy, no PBJ, His lunches were a yogurt, crackers, broccoli ‘trees”…that’s all he would eat…and chicken and pizza..he’s 19 now, and still won’t try gravy, mashed potatoes, potato salad, or jelly..the List goes on…but he hates junk food too …go figure…?….
  
  Jun 11, 2012 at 12:49 pm rating: 90
- #15.4 WMDKitty
  
  @heido — does your son have sensory issues in regards to other things?
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 4:15 am rating: 90
- #15.5 Noelegy
  
  My youngest stepson is just about the pickiest eater I ever met. No veggies. No ethnic food. Nothing that’s even been in the same room as a mushroom. He moved in with me at age 12, and his dad promptly informed him that if he was going to turn his nose up at what was fixed for dinner, he was old enough to make his own meals. So for the years he lived with me, he ate tacos, burritos, Totino’s Party Pizzas, and that was pretty much it.
  
  The punchline? He went to culinary school. My hubby and I teased him and told him that he could have his own cooking show, like “Good Eats,” but instead call it “Stupid Eats.”
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 11:29 am rating: 90
- #15.6 Vulpis
  
  …no ethnic food, yet he ate tacos, burritos and pizza? Last I knew those were ‘Mexican’ (or Tex-Mex at least) and Italian (or Greek for the *good* ‘za!) ethnic foods.
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 11:22 am rating: 90
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#16 Jo

Elizabeth has pretty good handwriting and spelling for a 6 year old. I smell a fake, unless an older child wrote it out for her.

Jun 9, 2012 at 11:58 am rating: 90

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- #16.1 ABlogOfTheirOwn
  
  No, you just smell a smart and dexterous 6-year-old. Given the kids in my own extended family, I don’t find this hard to believe at all.
  
  Jun 9, 2012 at 5:06 pm rating: 90
- #16.2 Poltergeist
  
  I love how every time a note written by a child pops up, somebody has to accuse it of being a fake.
  
  Jun 9, 2012 at 6:44 pm rating: 90
- #16.3 kermit
  
  To be fair, good penmanship is hardly emphasized anymore. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if these were written by a young adult.
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 3:18 am rating: 90
- #16.4 plainbeliedsneetch
  
  It does mention her parents saved this for decades. So maybe Elizabeth got through elementary school before typing became the norm.
  
  Jun 10, 2012 at 9:15 pm rating: 90
- #16.5 Margie
  
  I was reading when I was 3 and writing (this well, anyway) when I was 5. I was no prodigy, but some kids just start reading and writing earlier. I don’t think it’s that uncommon, is it?
  
  Hm. Maybe I was a prodigy, after all
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 3:12 am rating: 90
- #16.6 Noelegy
  
  The story told about me is that I began reading, apparently spontaneously, around age 3. I came downstairs, sat at the table, and began reading aloud from the cereal box. I don’t recall this, but I was able to read and write before kindergarten, was reading at a 5th grade level in 1st grade, and at a high school level in 5th grade. So I personally find Elizabeth’s note believable.
  
  My late grandmother saved everything I drew and wrote over at her house. I have in my possesssion a recipe for “strawbery pie” [sic] that, according to her note on the piece of paper, I wrote at age 4.
  
  Jun 12, 2012 at 11:33 am rating: 90
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#17 k8

Elizabeth had five older siblings. She really wrote and talked like that when she was wee.

Jun 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm rating: 90

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#18 cr

awww, our little girl is an emotional mess- better show the internet!

Jun 15, 2012 at 1:08 pm rating: 90

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- #18.1 The Elf
  
  Damn skippy.
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 6:12 am rating: 90
- #18.2 Vulpis
  
  Or Jif, as the case may be…
  
  Jun 17, 2012 at 11:24 am rating: 90
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