The Go to Hell™ Bouquet

June 13th, 2012 · 19 comments

“My friend and her roommate did not get along at all in college,” says Bryan in Chicago, “to the point where they were only communicating by notes for the last six months they lived together. This is the last note my friend left before officially moving out.”

I cleaned most of the apartment so please keep it tidy while you move out  - Kelsey.  P.S. go to hell

related: When frenemies attack!

FILED UNDER: cleaning · mean girls · p.s. · roommates


19 responses so far ↓

  • #1   The Elf

    It’s the “please” plus the “go to hell” that brings a special tear to my eye.

    Jun 13, 2012 at 7:13 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   bliffit

    The lovely spring blooms, deckle edge paper, neat penmenship and masking tape placed just so… It must be an outtake from a photo shoot for Martha Stewart Poisoned Pens.

    Jun 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   H for Toy

      I thought it was written on a piece of Charmin.

      Jun 13, 2012 at 9:41 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   jadefirefly

      It’s a paper towel.

      Jun 13, 2012 at 10:58 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   ridethefader

      Looks like a piece of TP to me. That’s the part that amused me the most. I will have to try that one sometime.

      Jun 14, 2012 at 6:18 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   The Elf

      Either way, it is artfully torn. Very Martha Stewart indeed!

      Jun 14, 2012 at 11:15 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   John

    and take these flowers

    Jun 13, 2012 at 8:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Katie

    Well Kelsey, I don’t know who you are, but I would love to be friends. I love the added flowers, polite note, and the part about you being clean.. I think we would get along great!

    Jun 13, 2012 at 9:02 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Poltergeist

    Oh Kelsey you bitch, you sure do crack me up hahah-…wait, no baby’s breath?! HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL!!!

    Jun 13, 2012 at 10:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Lil'

    I imagine the roommate would leave the place visibly clean, but stuff raw shrimp into the curtain rods and pour juice from tuna flavored catfood into the carpet along the baseboards throughout the apartment. She’d crank up the heat to 90 and leave a note that says “This IS hell!” Not speaking from personal experience…

    Jun 14, 2012 at 7:39 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   IamFuckingDelish

      Lil’, have you had to do this before? Did a PAN accompany said shenighans?

      Jun 14, 2012 at 8:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Jessica P.

    Wow, your friend is a child. If this is how she behaves no wonder her roommate couldn’t stand her.

    Jun 14, 2012 at 8:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      My friend and her roommate did not get along at all *in college*

      That says it all, really. First time on your own is always accompanied by some growing pains.

      Jun 14, 2012 at 11:18 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   wright1

      Keep in mind we have no example of the unnamed roomie to judge Kelsey by; for all we know the former was worse. Though I admit that communicating solely via PA notes for at least six months doesn’t reflect well on either.

      The warm colors of the bouquet certainly complement the P.S. nicely.

      Jun 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Kyle

      Sometimes notes are necessary though…it’s the only way to maintain some semblance of conversation without seeing someone in person and having the urge to strangle them.

      Jun 16, 2012 at 12:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   MOG

    1 800 Flowers – the Poison Pen collection and just in time for so many occasions, get one now!

    Jun 15, 2012 at 12:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   malibu_linda

    The colors of the flowers look like flames.

    Jun 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Vera

    This is indeed written on toilet paper — Cottonelle to be exact. I recognize that ripple pattern. Makes the note even better, IMHO

    Jun 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Kelsey

    Strangely enough, I’ve been having problems with my roommate too, and now we communicate with notes. While I was moving, I cleaned out the house and asked her to keep it tidy. I wish I wrote “Go to hell”. Oh, and my name is Kelsey too. WEIRD.

    Jul 29, 2012 at 4:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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