All About My Dad | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

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My Dad weighs 15 pounds, does not have a job, and likes to wear shirts.

June 26th, 2012 · 87 comments

Jill’s seven-year-old son “made” this for his Dad at school. “We’d like to think the near-complete lack of effort reflects a lack of enthusiasm for school assignments and is not a sign of a profound rift in his relationship with his father,” she says.

“And for the record, my husband is not 20 years old, weights more than 15 pounds and is taller than 2’1″. And he has a job, as a writer. (Which, to be fair, can sure look a lot like “unemployed” sometimes.)

P.S. The bit at the bottom says: “He is special to me but I don’t have a reason.”

related: “Drunk Mommy”

FILED UNDER: Canada · Father-son notes · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · schools & teachers

87 responses so far ↓

#1 kermit

I honestly can’t blame the kid for not taking this assignment seriously. Why is the teacher so darn nosy that she needs to know these things, anyway? Is she angling to come onto the kid’s dad?

Good for you kid, don’t fall for their scheming. If she really wants to know this stuff, she can spy on his Facebook profile.

Jun 26, 2012 at 2:39 pm rating: 90

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- #1.1 natalie
  
  Yeah! Like us normal people do.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 3:30 pm rating: 90
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#2 Forever Pondering

That’s some horrible handwriting you’ve got there, kid. Especially for 7(?) years old.
Based on your answers, everything suddenly makes sense.

Jun 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm rating: 90

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#3 R.B.

Jill gave her kid a stupid name, and the kid is pissed his Dad doesn’t have a job. Trust me, I’m an unemployed Dad.

Jun 26, 2012 at 2:42 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 cargirl
  
  Maybe Jill gave her kid an Irish name.
  
  Dumbass.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 2:52 pm rating: 91
- #3.2 Melissa
  
  We need to bring back “gigglebrax” because no one knows what it is.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 2:59 pm rating: 90
- #3.3 redheadwglasses
  
  Ciaran. Pronounced “ker-ahn.” I’ve known two. One was a guy whose parents (doctor and nurse) were born, raised, and educated in Ireland.
  
  Yeah, they’re just stoopid. Can you hear my eyes roll?
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 4:40 pm rating: 90
- #3.4 really?
  
  this is what you do with your spare time? check out passive aggressive notes and then get ishy at people you don’t know for insulting names they aren’t familiar with? sure do have a good time, don’t we?
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 12:38 am rating: 90
- #3.5 really really?
  
  And this is what YOU do, really? pot meet kettle.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 11:15 am rating: 90
- #3.6 Poltergeist
  
  Lots of angry Irish people. Sorry, but I don’t care for odd spellings for names. If it’s traditional to spell a name that way…well, it’s a silly tradition. Ciaran is no better than Kaitlynn.
  
  Come at me, bro.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 10:42 pm rating: 90
- #3.7 Jessi
  
  @Poltergeist, if it’s the traditional spelling of a name, then how is it the odd spelling? For instance, how do you, since you seem to be the authority on the subject, think the name “Siobahn” ought to be spelled?
  
  Also, before you go after the spelling of my nickname, I’m aware that it’s odd and non-traditional.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 6:12 am rating: 90
- #3.8 The Elf
  
  They’re not angry. Just drunk.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 6:51 am rating: 90
- #3.9 Poltergeist
  
  I’m a firm supporter of logical spellings of all words and names. Siobahn is a strange spelling regardless of whether it’s the norm or not. I don’t even care for the spelling of Sean, or that extra little “e” people feel the need to add to Michael. Obviously my opinion is not going to change anything, but I still believe in it. I guess I’m just that much of a jackass.
  
  Viva la English Language Revolucion!
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm rating: 90
- #3.10 beezy
  
  Next time I decide to name a kid after a relative who has a traditional name, I’ll check with you to make sure it’s a logical spelling.
  
  Logically “Michael” should be “Mikeull.” The ‘e’ isn’t the half of it.
  
  Jun 29, 2012 at 12:20 am rating: 90
- #3.11 Poltergeist
  
  I’d highly encourage you to check with me. I’m pretty busy lately, however, so you’ll have to schedule an appointment. There’s a $20 fee, and you have to get on your knees and grovel.
  
  A lady came in asking how she should spell Susan. I informed her that she could spell it Cooxin since C can make a “sssss” sound, and X can make a “zzzz” sound, according to our wonderfully logical language. I predict this spelling will be the norm within the next century.
  
  Jun 30, 2012 at 3:30 pm rating: 90
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#4 Jess

“Who is your daddy, and what does he do?”

Jun 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm rating: 90

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#5 Chris

Ciaran’s not a stupid name, it’s an Irish name. Pronounced ‘Kee-ran’. It’s also very common.

Jun 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm rating: 90

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- #5.1 dot
  
  Sadly, given what I’ve seen working with kids, it’s more likely than not Ciaran’s family is not Irish. Parent’s probably don’t even know it’s Irish. They just choose names that sound “unique”.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
- #5.2 sambycat
  
  in ireland
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm rating: 90
- #5.3 ArgyleEnigma
  
  Parents who choose a name just because they like it! The nerve!
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 6:23 pm rating: 90
- #5.4 The Elf
  
  Yeah, and then twenty years later, Ciaran is on the phone with some customer service representative saying C as in Cat, I as in Igloo, A as in Apple…. No, A. Like Apple. R as in Romeo, A as in Apple, and N as in November. C-I-A-R-A-N. No, C. It begins with a C.
  
  At some point, the parents will be mentally cursed.
  
  Trust me, I know. All too well.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 7:28 pm rating: 90
- #5.5 Kendrick McDouche
  
  “…and no, it’s not ‘Karen’…”
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 11:09 pm rating: 90
- #5.6 AuntyBron
  
  I agree. I mean, seriously, who names their kid “The Elf”?
  
  Unless you have pointy ears and want to be a dentist.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 12:05 am rating: 90
- #5.7 The Elf
  
  My brother’s name is Hermie.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 8:38 am rating: 90
- #5.8 Goldie
  
  The Elf, I hear ya! That’s what our last name is like. I have already told the kids to practice spelling it ten times in a row, with an occasional “No it’s G as in George, not D as in David” or “you missed one O in the middle, let’s start over” thrown in. I, on the other hand, just got their dad’s permission to change it back to my (much easier) maiden name. So long, suckers!
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 9:48 am rating: 90
- #5.9 Kieran's Mom
  
  Our youngest is Kieran, the English spelling of Ciaran. His name goes great with his very Irish last name. Many of his teachers don’t even try and pronounce his name at first.
  
  Our name for a girl was Siobhan.
  
  Jul 1, 2012 at 12:12 pm rating: 90
- #5.10 Dyre
  
  I’m all for “unique” names and even “interesting” spellings of names, but I have a strong belief that the names should be (correctly) readable for 80% of the demographic of the area I live in.
  
  “Ciaran” would not fit my requirements as a “Karen” substitute because I’m pretty sure most people (not Irish) would read it “See-are/err-an”. Though, I suppose if I wanted the English phonetic reading to be the name, I’d go for it.
  
  PS: “Dyre” cuts it close to acceptable. There’s a surprising amount of people that read it “Die-ray” instead of “Die-er”. At least I’m not too troubled by the misreading.
  
  Aug 12, 2012 at 8:30 am rating: 90
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#6 Melissa

On the serious tip, this should not have been an in-class assignment, right?

Jun 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm rating: 90

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#7 Elizabeth

As a first grade teacher, I am a little surprised the teacher here sent that home! S/he should have helped the little guy out with some ideas instead of letting an effectively blank sheet go home. @Melissa, usually I do this kind of thing during a family unit or an all about me/my family booklet.

Jun 26, 2012 at 3:24 pm rating: 90

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- #7.1 The Elf
  
  Perhaps she had her hands full with the other 30 kids. One’s crying, one wandered off, one just hit another kid, one needs to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW, one just ate glue, and three require aides of their own for special needs, but the school/parents can’t afford to have them always on staff and they’re not there at that time, and they’re all a little amped because it isn’t P.E. day so no one had a chance to run off a little energy.
  
  You couldn’t pay me enough to be a teacher. My hat is off to the lot of you.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 7:34 pm rating: 90
- #7.2 BrookeDiz
  
  I love you, Elf.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 12:04 am rating: 90
- #7.3 Poltergeist
  
  “If you don’t know, ask your dad” is simple enough directions. Frankly, the teacher shouldn’t even have to say it as most 7 year olds are smart enough to know what to do in such a predicament. Some kids just like to half-ass their homework. Nothing new, and not the teacher’s fault.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
- #7.4 Dyre
  
  Also a teacher (though in art), I feel like this assignment should be class and homework. Young kids don’t always know their parents’/guardians’ hobbies and the like, so they need to be able to go home and ask them.
  
  Aug 12, 2012 at 8:25 am rating: 90
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#8 shwo!

Based on that drawing, if dad is 2 ft 1 in tall, then little Ciaran is only about 16 inches tall. No wonder the handwriting is so bad — he probably has to stand on the paper and hold the pencil in both hands.

Jun 26, 2012 at 3:29 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 Eat The Beat
  
  I read it as 20’1″. If that’s the case, maybe Ciaran is 10 foot tall and his writing is so poor because for him, pen and paper is akin to using a pin to draw on a postage stamp.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 4:08 pm rating: 90
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#9 Ace of Space

I remember getting assignments like this, and I remember the irate notes that my mother would send back to the teacher. Somehow, my mother thought this (and the assignment where we had to list what we ate that day) was the school’s way to find out if there was a father in the home and if we were well fed. There wasn’t and we weren’t.

Jun 26, 2012 at 3:47 pm rating: 90

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- #9.1 kermit
  
  Ace, that is part of the reason. I assume kids that have an unpleasant family life aren’t forward about it in casual conversation.
  
  Despite this, I still think that these personal questionnaires are a lazy way of teaching, and a lazy way of finding out any potential problems with home life.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 3:55 pm rating: 90
- #9.2 DaveGI
  
  I think you’re reading too much into this. A work sheet like this is a typical Father’s Day assignment they give to kids in first grade or whatever. I’m sure there was a “Mom” worksheet in May the week before Mother’s Day.
  
  It’s a way to get the kids to write without having to make up something – though they’re free to if they want – and it can be sent home to the parents as a keepsake.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 4:12 pm rating: 90
- #9.3 mel
  
  I wonder if the “mom” worksheet asked for weight.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 4:17 pm rating: 90
- #9.4 redheadwglasses
  
  Kermit: ‘a lazy way of finding out any potential problems with home life.”
  
  And what would you suggest? A home visit?
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 4:45 pm rating: 90
- #9.5 kermit
  
  @9.4 Red – How about talking to the kid like a human being instead of treating him/her like a psych experiment? Or watching them more closely to see if there’s anything amiss? As Ace said above, kids generally aren’t stupid and catch onto these little schemes.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm rating: 90
- #9.6 Jami
  
  We had to do things like this before every Mothers or Fathers day. Geez, calm down. It was either this or have us make various crafts. Like the year we covered Mrs. Butterworth bottles in masking tape then had to paint them to look like our moms.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 6:15 pm rating: 90
- #9.7 squib
  
  Mrs. Butterworth moms. I am going to be laughing about that all day. Sorry I don’t have something witty to say about it, just had to tell you I think you made my day.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 8:39 am rating: 90
- #9.8 Ace of Space
  
  To clarify, I personally knew that this was a Father’s Day activity. I thought it was fun, just like the similar Mother’s Day activity we would have completed a month earlier. I remember she didn’t have a problem with the handmade Mother’s Day cards we brought home.
  
  You have to understand, like Alice’s comment below, my mom was insanely paranoid. She did think the government (or someone) was spying on her.
  
  I personally love the “what did you eat today” assignments that we got as a part of the nutrition lessons in health class. We always ate better that week
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 9:23 am rating: 90
- #9.9 kermit
  
  @9.8 – No offence to you or your mom, Ace but the reality is that teachers now are hyper-vigilant when it comes any signs of suspected neglect/abuse. There’s enough nutty news stories about schools banning playground rough-housing and Hallowe’en and whatnot. As hilarious as the “drunk mommy” -type letters are, there’s probably a vigilant teacher out there questioning a kid’s mom about alcoholism.
  
  And for what it’s worth, my school never made me do these types of things for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. We made crafts and/or cards to show appreciation.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 9:38 am rating: 90
- #9.10 Goldie
  
  An assignment like that + a kid with wild imagination = recipe for disaster. I’m saying this as a parent whose younger kid once, at 7yo, all of a sudden (for no good reason) told his teacher: “I don’t want to go home, my big brother will beat me up AGAIN”. I got a call at work five minutes later, followed by a week of investigation and several talks with school guidance counselor… fun!
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 10:04 am rating: 90
- #9.11 Lil'
  
  Jami, how the heck did you guys get enough Mrs. Butterworth bottles to do a craft like that with a whole class?? Cute, no doubt, but I must know.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 10:10 am rating: 90
- #9.12 The Elf
  
  They bought them all in and chugged them. Took care of snack time and craft time all at once! That’s why the whole class has the diabeetus.
  
  I’m more disturbed that it was all Mrs. Buttersworth and not a single Aunt Jemima. Must have been in those pre-desegregation days.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 11:33 am rating: 90
- #9.13 Jami
  
  Well, keep in mind this was the 1980s when Mrs. Butterworth was not only THE syrup but also came in glass bottles. All the teachers had to do was send a letter home and everyone either used enough syrup to get them or their other family members or friends of the family who used syrup gave them their bottles.
  
  Then of course, after making sure there was no sticky syrup still inside we had to cover the bottles in masking tape – making sure the facial features could still be seen. Then cover them with a base paint that made it all kind of smooth. Then another paint in the skin colors of our moms. Followed by painting out her hair and clothing.
  
  Then I guess the teachers put some sort of water proofing shellac on them because these were meant to use as flower vases. So moms everywhere could put a small amount of flowers into the heads of their glass representatives.
  
  We did this in kindergarten. By first grade we were using balloons and oatmeal containers as forms for papier-mâché heads. Quaker Oats, obviously, cut down to half the size. The balloons were the heads, the QO containers the necks.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 12:56 am rating: 90
- #9.14 Lil'
  
  Kermit, you said in the Father’s Day thread that teachers use crafts as a way to keep the class busy and avoid teaching. Now questionnaires are a lazy way of teaching. What is acceptable in your book? Kids need variety. Kids need learning to be fun. Crafts, questionnaires, demonstrations, are all just as valuable as text book learning.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 9:49 am rating: 90
- #9.15 kermit
  
  @9.14 – Lil, I have no intention of starting a sh!tstorm in the comments over teachers and what they do. In my opinion – note opinion part – using a significant portion of class time to do crafts like this and/or fill out questionnaires under the guise of “creativity” is lazy teaching, and accomplishes nothing more than keeping the students busy. (Kids like the one in note) recognize this and that’s why they do a half-assed job of it.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm rating: 90
- #9.16 Lil'
  
  Kermit, “creativity” is all part of the curriculum when you are dealing with small children. Activities like this tie into the whole package. If you don’t like it, don’t send your kids to public school. Home school them so you get it right. Or better yet, join the school board and work to put an end to lazy teaching. Maybe this kid did a half-assed job not because he saw it as busy work, but simply because this particular assignment didn’t appeal to this particular kid. That happens. Math didn’t appeal to me, but hey, it was part of the big curriculum picture.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 3:13 pm rating: 90
- #9.17 beezy
  
  I’d love to hear what kermit thinks are appropriate learning activities for seven year olds, considering doing creative activities and interviewing their parents isn’t it.
  
  Jun 29, 2012 at 12:30 am rating: 90
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#10 WRPrintz

How many of you have actually taught? How many of you have taught in a public school? How many of you have taught in an under funded public school where you were trying to do your best with what you had, while dealing with home issues from your students, a group of hostile or indifferent parents, inept administrators?

Laugh at the answers….that’s fine….but walk a mile or two in the teacher’s shoes before you bash her for using a tool at hand that DID NOT HARM the child.

So many candidates for Elementary school teachers, I am sure a few of you will step right up.

Jun 26, 2012 at 4:18 pm rating: 90

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- #10.1 aliceblue
  
  Amen. My mother taught H.S. but I quickly figured out the money I’d make teaching kids would never pay for the alcohol I’d consume if I became a teacher (to say nothing of court costs for smack some smart ass across the classroom).
  @Kermit – this is the kid’s teacher, not the school shrink. This is an assignment to try and get kids to write, not an “experiment” or ‘”scheme.” Oh, and black helicopters aren’t hovering over your house either.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 1:30 am rating: 90
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#11 DaveGI

First thing I thought of when I saw that dad wears shirts – but apparently no pants – was “is this kid’s dad Donald Duck?”

The height of 2 feet would fit if Donald was the aproximate size of non-anthropomporthic ducks.

Jun 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm rating: 90

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- #11.1 kermit
  
  If he’s a freelance writer working from home, it’s likely that he doesn’t wear pants. Whenever I work from home, I certainly don’t unless it’s cold or something.
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 7:22 pm rating: 90
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#12 redheadwglasses

I think it’s sad, really. The kid doesn’t know his dad’s favorite food? Doesn’t have a reason why his dad is special to him? My boyfriend’s five-year-old could answer those questions. Does this dad not spend time with his kid?

Jun 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm rating: 90

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- #12.1 kermit
  
  Maybe the kid’s parents are antidisestablishmentarians and taught him not to answer personal questions. My parents certainly did, and I’m pretty sure my mom would hit the ceiling if I brought home this kind of form.
  
  And I personally can attest that caginess can sometimes have hilarious results. The career aptitude test they made me take suggested that I was best suited to be a funeral home director. (I am not anywhere near the funeral home business.)
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 7:28 pm rating: 90
- #12.2 Kirsty
  
  Maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to think about it, or write it down.
  I’m sure we all handed in school assignments where we put in the absolute minimum of effort.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 10:24 am rating: 90
- #12.3 Gwan
  
  That’s not what anti-etc. means
  
  Jun 29, 2012 at 8:19 am rating: 90
- #12.4 Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  Antidisestablishmentarianism is a political belief that holds that the Church of England should remain part of the state; it opposes disestablishmentarianism (the belief that the Church of England should be disestablished). You mean they’re anti-establishment.
  
  Jul 1, 2012 at 12:54 pm rating: 90
- #12.5 kermit
  
  No, Dr. Chalk I did mean that the kid’s parents think that the Church of England should remain part of the state. Church rulers were/are not generally this nosy and just favoured the power of the church over everything.
  
  Sheesh making me explain my feigned outrage over the nosiness of this note really really ruins the joke I was trying to make.
  
  Calm the hell down and have a beer and/or a kitten.
  
  Jul 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm rating: 90
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#13 monstergarl

—–

Jun 26, 2012 at 5:33 pm rating: 90

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- #13.1 kermit
  
  -|-
  
  Jun 26, 2012 at 7:28 pm rating: 90
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#14 zenvelo

That kid makes the best question mark ever!

Jun 26, 2012 at 7:34 pm rating: 90

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#15 michelleigh

This is fantastic. I teach fourth graders and anytime I get something turned in like this I take a picture of it and send it to my friends. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humor. I get that Dad doesn’t wear pants at home…and that’s funny. I wouldn’t read anything into it and I would definitely send it home. Most of the parents I have get a kick out of this…like the time I had a kid write a simile that his mom was as lazy as a pig. That stuff is funny. They’re kids.

Jun 26, 2012 at 9:47 pm rating: 90

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#16 Heather

My only concern about stuff like this is what it does to the kids that don’t have mothers/fathers. I know firsthand what it is like to be making a Father’s Day art project for a non-existent father, but at least I could always give that kind of thing to Grandpa. Sending home a form that asks questions about Dad specifically isn’t fair to the kids that don’t have one in their life. And vice versa for Mom.

Jun 26, 2012 at 10:23 pm rating: 90

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- #16.1 Kirsty
  
  It would be OK if the teacher knew all the children’s situations (which I assume they do) and knew that all the kids did have a dad they had contact with.
  
  Otherwise, I agree.
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 10:23 am rating: 90
- #16.2 L
  
  I gave a lot of Father’s Day stuff to my mother ’cause it wasn’t an option not to. And I was vocal about the fact that I didn’t have one. (He was a jerk.) The one that annoyed me was when they said, “Give it to your grandfather” and I was “Nope, don’t got one of those either.” Then it went to, “Older male neighbour.” Now you’re just getting desperate.
  
  I don’t teach but I do Storytime and I don’t do Mom/Dad storytimes.
  
  Jun 30, 2012 at 7:27 pm rating: 90
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#17 Adriana

Every time Mother’s Day or her birthday rolls around, I go through the same agonizing discussion with my boyfriend regarding his mother. Me: “What does she like?” Him: “I don’t know.” Me: “Does she have any hobbies?” Him: “I’m not sure.” Me: “Ugh.” Him: “Do I have to get her anything?” In short, I can’t blame a 7-year-old kid for not knowing anything about one of his parents, as apparently many adults don’t know, either.

Jun 27, 2012 at 12:26 am rating: 90

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#18 CODA

Before he erased it, that last line said “He is only a little special to me”! I bet that Dad felt pretty heart-warmed…

Jun 27, 2012 at 4:29 am rating: 90

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- #18.1 lana
  
  Yeah – if I was this kid’s father I’d be trying to figure out why my 7 year-old thinks I’m kind of an ass.
  
  Jun 27, 2012 at 10:05 am rating: 90
- #18.2 meri
  
  all he could see was ass, since Dad didn’t wear pants
  
  Jun 28, 2012 at 12:03 am rating: 90
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#19 H for Toy

At least Dad and Ciaran are both smiling in the picture. That has to count for something!

Jun 27, 2012 at 7:43 am rating: 90

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- #19.1 Etoile
  
  The picture is actually what worries me most. If the dad is 2’1, how short does Ciaran have to be to still be significantly shorter?
  
  Jul 10, 2012 at 11:24 pm rating: 90
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#20 Dane Zeller

This note needs to be reprinted with “Invitation to Spiteful Wife” at the top.

Jun 27, 2012 at 8:11 am rating: 90

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#21 Listig

Finally, someone else who likes watching hokey on tv!

Jun 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm rating: 90

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#22 Kirsty

Actually, I like that last sentence “He is special to me but I don’t have a reason.” That’s how it shold be with parents and children – they love each other just because they do.

Jun 28, 2012 at 10:27 am rating: 90

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#23 Dee

If that’s an excuse, then I’m Pastafarian and I fear allowing my children to fill out sheets like this will anger The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Also, this deity frowns upon the distribution of baked goods to greedy classmates, so I’m totally getting out of years of snacks for class parties!

Jun 28, 2012 at 10:13 pm rating: 90

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#24 Amanda Katte

Reminds me of when I had to read “Roll of Thunder , Hear my cry” and fill out a report on it. “Main character- some girl. Takes place in- doesn’t say. It’s about- some girl.” It was years later that I actually read it and discovered it was awesome.

Jun 29, 2012 at 10:14 am rating: 90

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#25 Greg

For gods’s sake, please take this down. It’s a tiny bit funny, but is so tragic! Geez.

Jun 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm rating: 90

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#26 Jason

Read this again and assume that the dad has been cremated.

Jul 1, 2012 at 10:19 am rating: 90

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- #26.1 Vulpis
  
  Wouldn’t explain the shirts..
  
  But in general…yeah, this sort of assignment is the kind that would likely generate *lots* of calls to the head-office about the nosiness and intrusiveness of the questions…
  
  Jul 1, 2012 at 11:48 am rating: 90
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#27 Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

The bit at the bottom doesn’t say “He is special to me but I don’t have a reason”; it quite clearly says “He is only a little special to me but I don’t have a reason.”

Jul 1, 2012 at 12:45 pm rating: 90

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#28 lauren

God this was funny! Just about every part made me laugh. The snark in the comments had the opposite effect. Chill the eff out people, you are not nearly as funny or interesting as you think you are.

Jul 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm rating: 90

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#29 Dea

Basically, I look at this assignment and I think “Man, I remember having to do dumb stuff like this. It was the WORST. Boring and about something I hated!”

Believe it or not all kids do not love their parents. Some parents are assholes and aren’t worth knowing. They don’t even have to be abusive! They can just be an asshole in general. I’ve never understood that whole “love” thing. There’s absolutely no reason for me to love my parents unconditionally. And frankly, I don’t. I can see where this kid is coming from. Could not care less about what he likes or not, as long as he leaves me alone. It doesn’t make the kid a bad kid, or the parent a bad parent, they’re just incompatible. That happens, get over it, not everything’s perfect. The best thing that happens to these parents’ and kids’ lives is when the kid moves out. I see myself staring back from this note…

Aug 10, 2012 at 11:49 pm rating: 90

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