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“We don’t want to have an academic in our apartment community.”

June 27th, 2012 · 47 comments

Everyone’s favorite landlord, Thanx Garry, is back! This time, he’s here to reassure his residents that he’s determined to keep them safe from the epidemic of bug-eyed book-learnin’ types currently ravaging the globe.

"We don't want to have an academic in our apartment community."

P.S. I’m so happy this picture exists:

related: Really, Garry, you had me at “plese.”

FILED UNDER: landlords and property managers · malapropisms · most popular notes of 2012 · Seattle · spelling and grammar police

47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sir Puke

    Wait, I do want to contract them!

    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #2   werdbooty



    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:20 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      Hell yes, academics can be interesting conversationalists and great lovers. Maybe if I read the pamphlet and reverse the instructions, I too can have an academic epidemic.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 7:05 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Oh Rocky!

      Talking of great lovers, yes, I’d like an academic epidemic – to upgrade my satanic mechanic. Thanks.

      Jul 13, 2012 at 5:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #3   Eric

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, epidemic

    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:20 pm   rating: 54  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   TaraMonster

      I’ll just go ahead and admit I decided to scroll the comments bc I didn’t know wtf he meant by academic. Lol.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 9:41 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   kathryn

      I live in Boston and bedbugs *are* an academic problem with the massive influx of students every year and their scrounging of old furniture left on the curb. If it’s on the curb, someone is probably getting rid of it because it has bedbugs. And so it goes.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 9:49 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Ruth

      Kathryn, that’s what I thought the note meant, too. I didn’t get the mistake until the second “academic”! I thought it was going to be the landlord blaming academics for bringing bedbugs from campus or something.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #4   Kathy

    There’s actually five mistakes in the note. Clearly, academics in the apartment community will not be a problem.

    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:25 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   webster

      not counting mistakes in judgment, I see six. But maybe you were counting both instances of “academic” as one.

      Jun 27, 2012 at 10:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Clive

      “There are actually five mistakes in the note”? ;-)

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:55 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   jUStPunkin

      @Clive: thanks – you beat me to it :D

      Jun 28, 2012 at 7:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Redheadwglasses

      “Actually, there are five mistakes in the note.”

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Dustin

      I see seven. There are a couple of missing commas.

      Jul 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #5   Kythereia

    I can see why he doesn’t want an academic in the apartments. With spelling/grammar like that, his notes are bound to get corrected or made fun of. Or both. And now I’m envisioning bedbugs in graduate regalia. With monocles.

    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:30 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   deprogrammed

      And it bears a distinct resemblance to my college dean.

      Not to mention his blood-sucking attitude.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   Poltergeist

    “I’m a complete fucking idiot, but I’m raising your rent anyway!”

    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:51 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #7   Rose

    I counted nine …

    **** SPOILER ****

    beware – be aware THAT
    academic – epidemic
    Theirs – There’s
    any one – anyone
    any where – anywhere
    and read – to read
    bed bugs – bedbugs (for consistent usage)
    in the future please – in the future, please
    academic – epidemic

    … but at least he spelled “please” right.

    Jun 27, 2012 at 10:55 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Dala

      I actually counted the omission of ‘that’ as seperate from ‘beware’, but I was willing to overlook the ‘and read’.

      One thing I can say for him, he didn’t spell ‘a lot’ as ‘alot’.

      If I lived in this building, I would whip out my red pen so fast, his head would spin.

      Jun 27, 2012 at 11:08 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Mrs.Beasley

      Get that red pen fired up – start with “seperate.”

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:47 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Mrs. Beasley2

      Remember, there is always “a rat” in “separate.”

      Jun 29, 2012 at 12:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #8   aliceblue

    And remember, no drawing bedbug dics on the elevataor!

    Jun 27, 2012 at 11:07 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #9   ck

    Damn autocorrect!

    Jun 27, 2012 at 11:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #10   Deven

    I didn’t realize it was actually possible for anyone to be such a complete moron and live, never mind work. Thanks for educating me. I think this now makes me an academic!

    Jun 27, 2012 at 11:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #11   shwo! bang

    And this, my friends, is why the Microsoft Word spelling checker is not enough to save you from yourselves. Which is also why I have lucrative career as a freelance editor!

    Jun 27, 2012 at 11:35 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   aynur

      a lucrative career*


      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:08 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   shwo! bang

      (sadly burns He-Man Grammarians Club card)

      Jun 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #12   Dane Zeller

    You academics are soooo smart! You all missed his misspelling of his first name, “Garry.”

    Jun 28, 2012 at 7:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   kermit

      Dane, maybe he spells it with two ‘r’s on purpose, to let people know he’s ornery and rreally angrry

      Jun 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Andy

      I’ve met plenty of people named ‘Garry’.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 7:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #13   Isabelle

    You know what? If I had a landlord who was honest and proactive about treating bedbugs – which are incredibly difficult and expensive to eradicate – I wouldn’t care how he spelled or if his prose were a little awkward. I often work with tenants (not mine!) who are dealing with bedbugs and the usual path is for the landlord to blame the tenant (“you are dirty, that’s why you have bugs!”) or deny it until the whole building is full of them and then refuse to pay for treatment. It’s a funny note, but Gary sounds like a pretty reasonable guy for a landlord.

    Jun 28, 2012 at 8:18 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   weaselby

      Absolutely. It’s fun to make fun of people’s notes, but this guy does seem like a genuinely good landlord.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 9:35 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   rebecca

      Exactly. He is trying to do his job in a constructive manner. And these comments are petty and small. Just how badly do you need to feel smarter than the landlord?

      Feel free to pick apart this comment! There couldn’t possibly anything better to do today….

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Will

      Illiteracy is a good thing, then?

      Jun 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Poltergeist

      If you’re going to get proactive, at least learn the correct terminology.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   kermit

      Isabelle, while I would otherwise agree with you, landlords who spend their money and time on bedbug pamphlets instead of spending their money on eradicating the bedbugs are the problem.

      When quite hard up, I lived in a furnished boarding house and soon enough bed bugs started to come out. (I had no idea what they were before this and I assumed that I was getting bitten by mosquitoes). The landlord refused to get rid of the mattresses (where the bed bugs were) and just had a guy come and occasionally spray the place. Evidently it was more cost effective to just look like he was doing something, instead of buying new mattresses, not the used ones from the junk shop he was buying. Needless to say, this drove me bananas enough to chuck out the mattresses and sleep on the floor.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   tangelo

      The academic-epidemic mistake made me laugh, but I don’t think it harms his credibility. Spelling and grammar just seem to escape some people, and a few mistakes don’t really reflect on his competency as a landlord.

      He’s not writing a research paper or putting out an advertisement for his complex; if his tenants have the time to nitpick his spelling in a memo, they have the time to read the damn pamphlet and join him in his preemptive strike against the academic.

      Jun 30, 2012 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   Ace of Space

    I hate having a contract with bedbugs, they always wiggle out of them.

    Jun 28, 2012 at 9:18 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      It really bites to have to deal with them.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 10:51 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   DaveGI

      And they always come back to bite you in the a$$.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:07 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   deprogrammed

      Not to mention the contract is written in your blood.

      Jun 28, 2012 at 12:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #15   Nope

    Damn academic bedbugs, dey Tuk R Jarbs!

    Jun 28, 2012 at 12:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #16   yolanda

    I didn’t clue in till I read “apartments” and wondered what that had to do with the academic department in which bedbugs had been propagating. After all, if the profs snooze enough to be available for bedbug predation you could have an issue. Theatres are having bedbug problems because people sit still long enough to get bitten there. Why not the faculty department? That would be an academic bedbug problem, right?

    Jun 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #17   Neeners

    I prefer to keep my bedbugs ignorant, they are easier to control and cheaper to raise. I can’t even afford to put my kids through college on my salary let alone my bedbugs. They will just have to apply for a Pell grant, student loans and work in the summer if they want to be academics that bad like I did. I’m sorry guys… I can’t go in on books either, your on your own.

    Jun 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #18   CLB

    Let us hope the apartment community is not afflicted by a bed bug academic; because clearly there is a stupid epidemic happening there now, and I think Garry might be the carrier, he is most certainly a host! BTW, LOVE the pic!

    Jun 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #19   wiseass

    I thought the first ‘academic’ reference actually stood for ‘endemic’…

    Jul 2, 2012 at 11:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #20   Tah

    I have a misunderstanding how to get a contract with bedbugs; I admit it. I didn’t even know one could do such a thing.
    Also, I do agree that Smarty-pants is a global problem.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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