Writes Lesley in Los Angeles: “My friend owns a store in Downtown L.A., and he constantly gets people (mostly tourists) coming in to ask him where they can find a public restroom. I guess he finally got fed up.”
related: The town recommends you hold it.
52 responses so far ↓
#1
maaxah
Starbucks is the bathroom to the world!
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:32 pm rating: 15
#2
chrys
Most Starbucks lock their restrooms in LA. If you get lucky though, there will be a line and the people coming out will hold the door.
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:37 pm rating: 5
#3
denise
ha ha ha!
do you by chance know where i can go pee?
i fear i may explode right now on thee!
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:40 pm rating: 57
#4
shwo!
Done: “I HAVE to PEE so WHERE’S the FUCKing LOO?”
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:40 pm rating: 25
#5
JK
To pee or not to pee, that is the question…
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:41 pm rating: 17
#6
WRPrintz
When bowels must strive some rock’s vast weight to throw,
The line at door, labors and the world move slow.
Not so when swift Barrista scours the bowl,
From Flies and critter corn, and skims along the goal.
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:43 pm rating: 75
#7
Molly Musaka
NYC’s the same way. Which is how I ended up contorting myself in the car to pee into a coffee cup and dump it out the window while riding shotgun through the Lincoln Tunnel. Don’t like the smell of pee, New York? Open the damn bathroom!
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:43 pm rating: 22
#8
joshua
The world is my urinal.
Jun 28, 2012 at 8:44 pm rating: 11
#9
chiieddy
Find a hotel. Walk in like you belong. Restrooms are in the conference area or near the bar.
Jun 28, 2012 at 9:45 pm rating: 41
#10
Lessa
Starbucks @ 9th and Santee has a clean, unlocked bathroom. Also, the International food court has a clean, attended bathroom for 50 cents.
Jun 28, 2012 at 9:53 pm rating: 2
#11
Blinkie
There’s a shady one near Pershing Square. Much less shady ones inside the library.
Jun 28, 2012 at 10:00 pm rating: 1
#12
paul
I wonder can I ask where is the loo?
Jun 28, 2012 at 11:18 pm rating: 3
#13
IP freely
My bathroom is where my pee hits the ground.
Jun 29, 2012 at 12:43 am rating: 4
#14
makfan
In San Francisco for gay pride, a friend and I went into 3 different places, prepared to buy something, so we could use the bathroom and they were all barricaded off. I understand the frustration with trashed bathrooms, but what are people supposed to do?
Jun 29, 2012 at 1:37 am rating: 9
#15
Elmo
Where can I find a restroom you asshole?
Jun 29, 2012 at 4:34 am rating: 12
#16
jUStPunkin
OK, now that I know where all the public restrooms are in LA and NYC, let’s address the douchy-ness of the note writer. Yea, I know, frustrated because everyone asks the same question. Still, the world will be a nicer place if you are nicer to people.
While in Chicago one day, I asked a young lady hostess at a restaurant (she was outside, they had outdoor seating) where I could find a public restroom, and she directed me to the back of the restaurant where I could use theirs.
Note-writer is a douche.
Jun 29, 2012 at 6:20 am rating: 30
#17
annoyed mama
at a memorial day parade in a small town several years back, my then 2-year-old needed a restroom. we had just bought about $50 worth of stuff from the corner store, but their bathroom was locked. i explained my little one’s urgent need to the worker, but was refused. so, i let her pee on the ground outside their front door.
Jun 29, 2012 at 6:34 am rating: 35
#18
The Elf
Would a partial sonnet be acceptable?
My need is as a fever, longing still
For that which longer nurseth the need;
Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,
The uncertain sick appetite to have pee’d.
Jun 29, 2012 at 8:10 am rating: 19
#19
pxmidnight
While shopping in a local super market I needed to urinate. When I asked at the service desk where the restroom was, I was told they had no public toilet, and I should go to the McDonald’s across the road. I explained to the smug little witch that that wouldn’t work for me – and gave her two choices, tell me where the bathroom is, or I’ll piss on the floor. Strange how a full bladder can make a normally polite middle-aged woman resort to threats!
Jun 29, 2012 at 9:53 am rating: 3
#20
Jamesy Pantz
i WANT to FIND a BATHroom FOR my PEE
boom
Jun 29, 2012 at 9:56 am rating: 2
#21
Lita
Hmm.
Alas! My bladder clamors with its need
The legs crossed tight as steel bar my advance
Yet still the call of nature I must heed
If I’m to keep my dignity – and pants!
So now, to your establishment I’ve come
The strain of waiting clear upon my brow
Can you please tell me where to find the loo?
You can’t? – well then, I piss on you, you cow!
Jun 29, 2012 at 11:44 am rating: 33
#22
csmithy
This must be why LA smells like pee.
Jun 29, 2012 at 2:24 pm rating: 5
#23
DaveGI
“In olden days when knights were bold
and toilets were not yet invented,
they dumped their loads along the roads
and walked away contented.”
Sounds like we may be heading back to those days!
Jun 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm rating: 15
#24
rtuko
fyi, the downtown LA bathroom issue has a lot to do (or all to do) with the sheer numbers of homeless in the area. You’re probably better off driving outside the area (downtown area is really not that big) to find a bathroom. I can’t imagine that any other major city doesn’t have the same issues re: locked bathrooms & homeless.
Jun 29, 2012 at 4:41 pm rating: 0
#25
Charlie
If the shopkeeper keeps getting asked this question over and over, it seems to me a good public relations tool would be to find one so he/she wouldl have the answer available. “There’s a McDonald’s around the corner. When you’re done, come back for our 20% off sale.”
Jun 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm rating: 14
#26
Naomi Maunu
I must inform you that your bathroom sucked,
In fact it was so bad I almost chucked,
And yet so desperate was I to poo,
I plugged my nose and loudly cried boohoo!
And then it was I realized the stall,
Had absolutely no paper at all!
I wept until I had no tears to shed,
The sound it still rings loud within my head,
So there I sat alone, depantsed, until,
The janitor dispensed a new refill.
Jun 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm rating: 11
#27
Penny
Do you have a public restroom?
Sir, may I use your restroom, please?
Do you know of a restroom I can use?
This sign would be clever if Shakespeare hadn’t intentionally chosen to write so much in iambic pentameter because it is the way most native English speakers already speak. As it is, it’s a good example of derpiness making Shakespeare seem a lot harder than it is.
Jun 30, 2012 at 2:10 pm rating: 3
#28
kat
Part 1
I work in a box office of a theatre in a very touristy neighborhood. the bathroom question is one of the most common questions I get asked by passersby. Our restrooms are not open to the public only ticket holders but all staff members who interact with the public are informed as to where the closest public restrooms are located. Its even on an employee handout along with other common questions ie: where is the nearest atm, partking, etc. I do not understand why this question gets people’s panties in a twist. Its good customer service to be helpful. People remember that kind of thing.
It is a bylaw in this city that businesses of a certain size must have a public washroom.
I have always found that in most cases explaining that you have to pee people seem willing to help and if the dont, they are jerks I just don’t shopthere.
Jun 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm rating: 8
#29
Merry HooHoo
Some roses are red
Most violets are blue
I do have to pee…
So where is the loo?
Jul 2, 2012 at 9:54 am rating: 3
#30
WALLS
Some enterprising person should lurk outside selling verses that would fit this request.
Jul 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm rating: 4
#31
MerriD
Wow, we’re so lucky in Australia – our government has even created a website to locate all the public loos across the country!
Jul 18, 2012 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
#32
JayAre
I took a bus tour of LA & Hollywood, with several stops for people to look around & stretch our legs. The driver was really good about pointing out where the prime public restrooms were (and which ones were a bit suspect). Some cities even have (official or unofficial) restroom guides or Visitor Restroom Programs, e.g. http://www.cityofsantacruz.com/index.aspx?page=462
Jul 25, 2012 at 10:45 am rating: 0
#33
ursula8
Being partner to someone who has chronic inflammatory bowel disease and frequently needs to use the restroom urgently with little warning, signs like this proper boil my piss. I can totally understand businesses not letting people use their restroom if they have a problem with it getting trashed, or needing to walk through stockroom to get to it, but being nice and pointing out the nearest public restroom costs nothing. Do most people really think that the desperate-looking person hopping from foot to foot and looking pained is purely looking for a chance to crap on their restroom floor?
Aug 10, 2012 at 10:20 am rating: 1
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