Entries from June 2012
Dear Notewriter: Clearly, you’re not a scholar of Indian religious traditions, so just FYI: “Karma” doesn’t translate from the Sanskrit as “sword-wielding mercenary” or “the guy Liam Neeson played in Taken.”
(Also, the Knight of Flowers is offended by your insinuations.)
Thanks to Hannah in Oakland for submitting!
related: The Orchid (and Daffodil, and Begonia) Thief
Tags: die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · karma's a bitch · Oakland · stealing
Two unisex bathrooms; two crops of overly-educated office drones; one shared problem.
(Re: “You can do it with one hand!” Clearly, Natalie knows her audience.)
related: It’s not rocket science.
extra credit: “My dad is a bachelor and this is how he keeps his toilet paper…” [imgur]
Tags: battle of the sexes · Facebook · toilet paper
By the end of the summer, could Carly be the new Kanye of passive-aggressive notes? She does have the Beliebers behind her…
related: A little bump and slide
extra credit: Best of the “Call Me Maybe” meme [buzzfeed]
Tags: most popular notes of 2012 · Oakland · parking
Based on the dots between the words (a technique picked up at Montessori School), Lauren in Vancouver estimates she was about six years old when she wrote this note (translation below):
Dad, I am angry because you throwed away your father’s day present. If I catch you doing it again, I will hit you hard. Signed, Lauren.
In her father’s defense, “The gift in question was a giant, brightly-coloured fish made out of paper and stuffed with newsprint,” Lauren says. “I remember finding the ‘present’ in the garbage and putting it back on my father’s desk, which is probably where the threat came in.”
And then, of course, there’s the troll dad approach…
related: An honest Father’s Day card
extra credit: Dads on Vacation [tumblr]
Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads · not-so-veiled threats
Rhiannon in Missouri opened the fridge at work to find this not-at-all-disturbing note from an anonymous office zombie.
(The perp’s response: “Well, if you say so!”)
related: Who moved my cheese?
Tags: cheese · most popular notes of 2012 · office fridge
“My friend and her roommate did not get along at all in college,” says Bryan in Chicago, “to the point where they were only communicating by notes for the last six months they lived together. This is the last note my friend left before officially moving out.”
related: When frenemies attack!
Tags: cleaning · mean girls · p.s. · roommates
Bill was walking down the street in Madison, Wisconin when he passed this note — complete with a rejoinder from the neighborhood joker — taped to the door of an apartment building. [frowny face emoticon!]
related: Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP
Tags: breakup · way harsh
This [plagiarized] note comes to us from a staff restroom at NASA’s Johnson Space Center. “This is just great,” says our submitter. “We can put a 7-degrees-of-freedom robotic arm in space that can build a space station, but we can’t get a ‘wall robot’ to work…or even send in a work order request to get it fixed.”
Neil DeGrasse Tyson, would you care to test out this motion sensor hand towel machine for yourself?
Aaaaand…there you have it.
related: It’s not rocket science.
extra credit: “Nice Work If You Can Get It” [This American Life]
Tags: bathroom · Houston · office · thanks (but not really)
Writes Jennifer in Denver: “At the restaurant where I work, my co-worker has had some issues with the cooks not reading his tickets correctly.” (Apparently, Scott’s not one for the “you catch more flies with honey” approach.)
related: How NOT to earn great restaurant tips
Tags: Denver · restaurant
Tom’s daughter, Meg, was upset that her mother made her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so she wrote this note to inform her mom of her “punishment.”
Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, six-year-old Elizabeth tried a similar approach. Her parents were so amused they’ve held on the note for decades since then.
When I have kids, I really hope I can manipulate them into this sort of thinking…
related: Buckets of my Tears
Tags: cheese · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012