Welcome to the Jersey Shore

July 2nd, 2012 · 44 comments

Molly said this ice cream shop on the Jersey Shore was filled with signs of the “You’re in New Jersey, bitch” variety, but this one was perhaps the most obnoxious of them all.

“As it turns out,” Molly says, “my imagination didn’t quite capture the essence of the Mocha Chocolate Crunch that I ordered. If I’d had a sample, I would have realized the nuttiness was just too much for my delicate palate.”

We do not offer sampling. However, if you do need to try something, we suggest you try imagining what that particular flavor would taste like.

related: It’s not food, it’s ice cream!

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · ice cream · New Jersey · tourists


44 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Andy

    My imagination is fucking delicious.

    Jul 2, 2012 at 7:45 pm   rating: 69  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Kissy

    /try/ to imagine how my ass would taste.

    Jul 2, 2012 at 8:07 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      Somewhat nutty?

      Jul 3, 2012 at 7:34 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   infanttyrone

    Imagine I got your sample right here…

    Jul 2, 2012 at 8:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Polly

    I’d order some big honkin’ concoction, tell ‘em I had to go to the loo and would be right back, and then return and suggest they “try imagining” what my money would look like if I bothered to pay them. Then I’d tell ‘em their sign was rude and leave.

    Jul 2, 2012 at 8:16 pm   rating: 75  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Belinda

      You’re assuming they have a loo, which is unlikely, given the general obnoxiousness. . .
      Good thinking nonetheless!

      Jul 3, 2012 at 11:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Puzzle bang

    Do you think they could try not to sound so nasty to people who give them business?

    Jul 2, 2012 at 8:17 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Omnivore

      Exactly. I’d walk out if I saw this in an ice cream shop. Bet they lose more money due to their rudeness than they ever would by offering teaspoon-sized samples. But that might be my Midwestern manners showing.

      Jul 2, 2012 at 10:27 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   The Elf

      I think it is, Omnivore. This is the Jersey Shore (geographical location). If it bears even the slightest resemblance to Jersey Shore (tv “show”), then rudeness would just be par for the course.

      Jul 3, 2012 at 7:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Poltergeist

    Oh, you thought I meant the ice cream? I was talking about sampling your co-worker.

    Jul 2, 2012 at 8:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Dewprisms

    How damn hard is it to say “Sorry, we don’t offer samples!” Christ.

    Jul 2, 2012 at 8:30 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   shwo! bang

    No sampling? Since when does an ice cream shop care what the RIAA thinks?

    Jul 2, 2012 at 9:18 pm   rating: 72  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   H for Toy

      Error: already voted

      Jul 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   aliceblue

    You see this? Well just try to imagine that I’m holding up the rest of my fingers too.

    Jul 2, 2012 at 11:24 pm   rating: 73  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   AuntyBron

    I imagne I’d leave those pretensious twats and go to the nearest Coldstone Creamery which a) gladly gives out samples, b) mixes up whatever custommade ice cream flavor I can think up and c) is fucking awesome.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 12:21 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Chug

    I would likely see the sign, ask to see the manager, then inform them that they ought to try imagining my money going into their till, because that’s all they were going to get from me. A bad attitude deserves nothing.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 2:27 am   rating: 51  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Steeevyo

    Larry David to woman in the ice cream shop:
    “You are abusing your sampling privileges!”

    I hate people who sample so good for the store.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 5:41 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      I think one sample, even two, is fine so long as you follow it up with a purchase. What annoys me is when you have the whole fam damily in front of you in line and each person must try every single flavor. Or if you have a Dane Zeller situation below, where they sample but never purchase.

      I can understand not offering samples, especially if that scenario plays out a little too often. But why not just have a sign that says “no samples”.

      Jul 3, 2012 at 7:40 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Dane Zeller

    I don’t understand why anyone pays for ice cream anymore. I just sample until they stop me, and then I leave. No imagination needed in most stores.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 7:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Nope

    This just adds more proof that people in NJ are assholes.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 7:53 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Susan Convery

      I think that’s a gross generalization “Nope.” I’m from NJ and I, too, am very offended by this ice cream shop’s sign, and I’m not an a–hole. And, frankly, I would venture to say that the majority of people I know are not a–holes. Based on your comment above, I would say with great certainty that you ARE an asshole.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 12:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Nocturnesthesia

      I don’t think you understand generalizations. It takes too long to say “from my experience, the vast majority of people from around the NJ area have given off the impression of being rather disagreeable individuals.”

      Either way, you’re not doing much to disprove the “NJ are rude dumb cunts” stereotype.

      Jul 15, 2012 at 1:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   abc

    All code for ‘I’m from New Jersey, so I’m going to act like the biggest cunt on the planet. Whaddami saying- I AM the biggest cunt on the planet!!!’

    Jul 3, 2012 at 7:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Hyphen

    If you’re going to make a sign like that, why wouldn’t you resist the need for hyphenation and just put the whole word on one line?

    Jul 3, 2012 at 7:58 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Valerian

    If I’m gonna imagine how it tastes, why should I pay for it?

    Jul 3, 2012 at 8:45 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Alex

    These are exactly the kinds of signs that inspire me to turn around and leave a place. The idea of not offering samples is fine, but addressing customers rudely is not.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 10:19 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   spoko

    Rockwell Extra Bold. Excellent taste in fonts, at least.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 10:30 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   MysteryGuest

      Eh, minus 75 points for the use of fake italics.

      Jul 6, 2012 at 6:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   yolanda

    How about if I just TRY another ice cream shop? Sheesh. What’s the big deal offering samples anyway? Hell, charge 10c per if you’re too cheap to give away the plastic spoons.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 1:54 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Cyborg

    This sign sparked a 10 minute conversation between me and the boyfriend complaining about how they hyphenated ‘particular’ and how any program they used to make that; Word, Illustrator, Photoshop, whatever-the-hell-Macs-use would have had an option that allowed them to type from a center point preventing the need to split the word in half so why did it happen?

    Jul 3, 2012 at 1:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   MysteryGuest

      Macs use Word, Illustrator, Photoshop…

      Jul 6, 2012 at 6:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Sduck

    I’ve been in shops where kids regularly come in without any money, loiter, and just eat as many free samples as they can get away with. And I’ve seen plenty of customers tie up the server’s attention and hold up the whole line while they take their sweet time sampling and contemplating half a dozen flavors. So I can understand why a busy shop might not want to give out free samples. But why be nasty about it?

    Jul 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    I imagine it would taste awful, so I walk out and take business elsewhere. Possibly to an establishment that is willing to try to convince me to give them my hard-earned money.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 3:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Sir Puke

    I lived on the Jersey Shore for 2 years and most shopkeepers were polite. Part of what gives the Jersey Shore its reputation is the B.E.N.N.I.E.S.: Moneyed folks (and their children) from NYC that have bought/leased most of the ocean front real estate and demand that everyone kiss their ass.
    Aside from that, it was very boring and I moved away.

    Jul 3, 2012 at 6:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   J.A.B.

    Ugh, I really wish my boss would let us post that sign at the ice cream parlor where I work. Very few things are as annoying as when a customer who has had ample time to look at the menu comes up to the window with a huge line behind them and says “What’s X? What’s Y? Can I try a spoonful of each? I’ll have a small vanilla.” Really, it’s not like the flavor names are ambiguous. If it says strawberry, it’s strawberry. Even if it says “death by chocolate,” you can assume that it’s got (surprise, surprise) chocolate…lots and lots of chocolate. Give me a break.

    Jul 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   whatever

    i don’t get this whole sampling business. i live in central europe, and i’ve never seen sampling offered, or asked for.

    Jul 5, 2012 at 7:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Ratastic

      Free samples, along with guns and sandwiches made entirely of fried chicken, are what makes Amurrika great.

      Jul 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   bloop

    Good on the shopkeepers – you all sound the whiny, entitled customers that makes signs like this necessary.

    Jul 6, 2012 at 4:22 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   alanc230

    Sir Puke is right. I lived at the shore for years, and the level of entitlement some people feel is disgusting. I’m sure the proprietors of this shop were just fed up to the teeth with freeloaders.

    Jul 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Robyn

    I live in England and have never seen anyone ask for samples. If I’m worried about paying for something I don’t like I do sometimes ask them to describe it or just get a small bowl. But for the sake of whatever the ice cream cost, just deal with it if you don’t like it.

    Jul 8, 2012 at 2:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   RubySun bang

    I like this. As Robyn stated, this sampling business is not so big outside the US it seems. In fact, I would find it pretty infuriating waiting in a line for people to sample stuff. Where I come from (the land of the flight of the conchords) you pay for a small amount of something and ‘sample’ it. If you don’t like it, don’t get it next time. Easy. Larry David was right about this.

    Jul 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Becca

      Not true, it’s huge in Australia, most icecream stores offer 30 or more flavours and they arent strawberry chocolate and vanilla. No more than 2-3 samples is fine but to make such a rude sign I hope they went broke

      Jul 23, 2012 at 3:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   StreetLounge

    That’s so true, you don’t open the food at the supermarket, right? :) People just try being smart and eat for free, nope!

    Jul 17, 2012 at 2:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Mawwd

    I’m sure this sign was only put up due to rude customers. Ones that sample a bunch of flavors then leave when they’re not allowed any more (since they essentially took so many samples they got a free scoop). Ones that stand there and take forever sampling and deciding and blocking anyone else from ordering. Yep. I don’t see why anyone’s entitled to a sample. I also don’t see what’s to get your panties in a twist about this sign. Maybe if less of everyone were asshole customers, there’d be less need for signs like this. Totally on the shopkeep side. Just like someone else said, you don’t get to eat samples of food at the supermarket for free, do you?

    And seriously, “delicate palate”? Get over yourself…

    Jul 24, 2012 at 4:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     

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