Comments on: Well, someone’s feeling a little Shortz-tempered.

By: Ed

Ed — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 23:33:21 +0000

I work at a public library and this is a real problem. Red faced old men get even redder faces when they open the paper and someone else has done the crossword puzzle.

By: Jami

Jami — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 18:17:22 +0000

We already have enough of that with computer users. Thank you very much.

By: Wrench

Wrench — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:12:06 +0000

Jesus, who knew “I have another call, do you mind if I answer?” sparked such pearl-clenching offense.

I don’t remember having cell phones without call waiting standard. While, yes, I have had friends who take advantage of it by just leaving myself or another person on hold till Conversation #2 is done (however long that takes) my overwhelming experience is that most people just click over to the other call, find out who it is and what the call is about, and if it’s not an emergency go back to Conversation #1.

Honestly I’ve just never bothered to get my panties in enough of a twist to consider it rude, especially now that I have kids. It’s no different than if you’re chatting with a friend at a party. I’m not going to get all in a tizzy if someone else sidles up, tells my friend one or two sentences, then goes back into the mix. My friend is rude only if he doesn’t excuse himself before leaving me to babble at myself like a jackass. And if the Interrupter is telling my friend about a legitimate emergency then I’m a jackass by being offended that I didn’t get to the killer punchline (“Then he said, ‘Lady, that’s not my hand!’”) first.

By: The Elf

The Elf — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:03:17 +0000

I don’t like call-waiting either, but sometimes people have it for good reason. For instance, I never object if my doctor friend puts me on hold to check the other call. More often than not, he comes back and tells me that it is a patient and he’ll call me back afterwards. Same with my friend who runs a business out of his home – if he has a work call, that takes priority. Another friend got call waiting because his elderly mother is in assisted living and if it’s her or her facility, he needs to take it right away. I get it. To those people, my phone call is (appropriately) not a high priority.

But random friend whose other call is most likely just another friend? Ugh. I hate it.

By: Merri

Merri — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 23:22:27 +0000

I think there’s such a thing as call waiting etiquette; it’s ridiculous to dismiss it entirely as rude. You can see the number that’s calling so if it’s something that might be crucial like a call from your child, you tell Caller 1 that you need to take the call. You tell Caller 2 that you have another call and give them a chance to briefly state their business. If it’s an emergency, you go back to Caller 1 and tell them you have an emergency and you’ll call them later. If it’s not, you tell Caller 2 you’ll get back to them and return to Caller 1.

By: Lil'

Lil' — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 20:42:58 +0000

Kermit, I think what’s most arrogant is the fact that you must feel you are the center of your “friend’s” universe until you are satisfied that the conversation is over. You appear to need validation that you are important. You feel slighted by the fact that something else just might be a bigger priority in your friend’s life. “How dare you put ME on hold? So what if it’s your kid’s school, or your spouse, or the hospital! Call them back!” Putting someone on hold for a moment isn’t a breach of proper phone etiquette. The problem is your apparent view that putting someone on hold PERIOD is rude. Your “Sorry, but potentially someone more exciting than you is calling me at the moment, so I’ll put you on hold to check it out” makes that clear. You can’t be everyone’s Number 1, Kermit. If you are on hold too long, then yes, hang up. But it’s clear that any amount of hold time for you is too long.

By: Serenity

Serenity — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 20:12:37 +0000

Well, I am sorry you have friends and relatives with such poor manners. I, however, can assure you that I have never been put on hold for more than a few seconds, and have never done that to anyone, either. I have never been put on hold for 10 minutes, or even close to it. If someone did that to me, or I did that to someone, I would expect them to hang up, and I would do the same. And while the person calling you codependent may be a bit over the top, so is calling people who use call waiting in the normal way most of us do “arrogant”.

By: RubySun

RubySun — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 19:29:10 +0000

I think this is inevitably going to turn into a crossword-lovers-waiting-outside-for-the-library-doors-to-open, scuffling, elbowing free-for-all.

We need more of this in libraries. Shake things up a bit.

By: kermit

kermit — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 19:23:29 +0000

Calling someone who expects basic phone courtesy co-dependent either shows that the person doesn’t know what “co-dependent” means or that they’re not listening. It does say something about their personality, and not in a good way.

People who make a habit of putting other people on hold (and aren’t gabby teenagers) rarely put someone on hold “for a few seconds”.

To them, sure it’s a few seconds. In real time, it’s more like 10+ minutes.

My mother does this all the time when I visit (in person) and puts the poor soul on the phone on hold. Because clearly it’s vital that she tell me right at that instant about some mundane errand crossing her mind rather than finish the conversation with the person on the phone.

And this is the part where I hang up on this conversation.

By: Serenity

Serenity — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 18:51:20 +0000

No, we’re listening, we just don’t agree. None of us ( and most people in general ) , mind being put on hold for a few seconds while someone picks up the other line to see who is calling, and why. And we think being unreasonably uptight about it, as you seem to be, is extreme and unwarranted. It does say something about your personality, and not in a good way.

By: kermit

kermit — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 18:36:44 +0000

I’m putting you on hold now because you’re clearly not listening.

This isn’t about co-dependency. It’s about arrogance. It’s okay for you to put someone on hold but not okay for the other person to hang up on you?

Evidently, you think it’s a huge inconvenience for you to hit “redial” and call them back. But it’s definitely not an inconvenience for them to be kept on hold wondering.

It’s a matter of consistency. You don’t get to complain for having to call people back if you put them on hold. If you get to put people on hold, you also get to be put on hold yourself. It’s not a one-way street.

By: Lil'

Lil' — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 12:13:30 +0000

If I’m talking on the phone and I get another call, I will put Caller 1 on hold while I answer the other line to make sure it’s not an emergency. If it’s not, I’ll call Caller 2 back when I’m done with Caller 1. I am a good friend, but I have a life outside of Caller 1. I was on a call years ago when Caller 2 called to inform me that my mother was in an accident and was rushed to the hospital. Good-bye Caller 1. Things happen. If my “friends” are so arrogant to think I should absorb myself in them and disregard everyone else in my life and every possibility that my family may need me before we hang up, then don’t call. I’m not that co-dependent, and I can’t satisfy others who are that co-dependent.

By: Pit Pat

Pit Pat — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 01:09:53 +0000

Mmmmm – stuffed puzzle. You’re making me hungry.

By: Vulpis

Vulpis — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 00:18:35 +0000

Might want to check the ‘Fair Use’ rules, there.