Dude, it’s like, what does “open” even mean?

July 9th, 2012 · 52 comments

An anonymous submitter discovered this lengthy explanation on the door of a head shop in Waldorf, Maryland.

We open most days about 9am or 10am. Occasionally as early as 8am, but on days like Sunday, as late as 11am.  We close about 9:30pm or 10pm, but sometimes as early as 7pm on Sundays, give or take an hour. Sometimes we close as late as 11pm or 11:30pm-like Saturdays.  Some days or afternoons we aren't hear at all, but lately we have been here just about all the time---except when we are someplace else, but we should be here too! We suggest you try the door, and if it is open, then so are we.

Not surprisingly, it appears the head shop’s owners take a fairly relaxed attitude toward keeping their store open, and instead put heavy emphasis on maintaining a flexible work-life balance.

related: Before you ask…

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · drugs · Maryland · opening/closing

52 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Wayne

    It’s like the guy who wrote this sign was stoned when he did or something…..

    Jul 9, 2012 at 1:39 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #2   MG

    I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a very similar text on a shop window in Exmouth, UK.

    Jul 9, 2012 at 1:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Kirsty

      And in Dundee

      Jul 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #3   Trixie

    Not new, not original.

    Jul 9, 2012 at 2:09 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

  • #4   Limeliberator bang

    oh that’s so annoying! there’s a way to find out if they’re open without even getting out of the car: Throw a brick through their window. If the alarm goes on, they’re closed. If someone runs out yelling at you, they’re open.

    Jul 9, 2012 at 2:09 pm   rating: 106  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Irony

      So I see you come to this site to find inspiration for your own passive aggressive notes, since that was the most PA comment I’ve seen in a long time.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 1:41 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   H for Toy

      I hate to have to explain this, but that’s what makes it funny.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 8:42 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Melba Toast

      Or you could call.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #5   JK

    I’ll probably regret asking this question, but what is a head shop?

    Jul 9, 2012 at 2:10 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Polly

      In the U.S., a “head shop” is the name for a store which sells drug paraphernalia, like bongs, rolling papers and such.

      Jul 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Miles

      They sell pot and pot accessories.

      Jul 9, 2012 at 2:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   kermit

      Somewhere out there must be a head shoppe that sells only head-related items like hats, hair extensions, curling irons, etc. And the “e” in head shoppe allows them to charge double what other stores could.

      Jul 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Kwyjor

      Well, if a grocery store is where you go to get groceries, then… never mind.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 9:38 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   Balabusta in Blue Jeans

      Drug-related stuff, as people have said, (blacklight posters and High Times magazine and that sort of thing as well as actual paraphanalia) but also often general countercultural stuff. Hippie clothes from India, and incense, and…it’s a sort of specific kind of a little business. They all smell strongly of patchouli.

      Jul 14, 2012 at 8:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   Noelegy

      “They sell pot and pot accessories.”

      I heard that in Hank Hill’s voice. I hope that’s what you intended by your phraseology. :)

      Jul 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   Polly

    Too perfect by half.

    I’d be all, “Yo, groovy” if that were scrawled on a big piece of paper with a magic marker or crayon or something. As is, though, I’m feeling, “Ha, ha, the MAN is just another CAPITALIST pretending to be all laid back and hippy-like.”

    Jul 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   kermit

      spoiler alert: most successful professional hippies were/are capitalists “pretending to be all laid-back”

      Jul 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #7   blue-eyed floozy

    @MG I live close to Exmouth! I’ll have to seek this shop window out…

    Jul 9, 2012 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   Bluecanary

    That’s an old cliche sign. Every other mom and pop down here in NC has it hanging on the door or over the register.

    Jul 9, 2012 at 5:05 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #9   zenvelo

    I’ve seen this in Sedona, Arizona and Mendocino, and in Calistoga CA. All kinds of tourist areas that are relying on a hippie background but aren’t hippies anymore.

    Jul 9, 2012 at 8:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   it's naptime

      It’s like Sedona, Arizona crapped in here.

      Jul 9, 2012 at 10:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Lenny!

      Sedona: The Hippie Capital of Arizona. Barely nudges out Tempe, or more specifically, Mill Ave in Tempe.

      Jul 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   Seanette

    Sorry to join the “this isn’t new” parade, but I’m certain I saw this 20 years or more ago.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 12:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #11   MG

    @ blue-eyed floozy: Lakes on Exeter Road.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 2:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   Sophie

    This has even been translateded into Norwegian and Swedish (and probably every other language in the world).

    Jul 10, 2012 at 6:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #13   The Elf

    Cliche or not, the owner might find it’s a little hard to make a profit when the customers don’t know when you might be open!

    Jul 10, 2012 at 6:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #14   MDGirl

    I’ve subscribed forever to this site. Glad to finally see Waldorf made it. Funny, with all the hilarious posts I’ve read, I had to comment because anyone from MD knows, Waldorf is so a “not happening” place. This post just shows it. LOL

    Jul 10, 2012 at 7:53 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      Ah, Waldorf. One of the more redneck parts of the DC suburbs. It’s main claim to fame is that it is where Dr. Mudd aided John Wilkes Boothe (not knowing that he had just assassinated Pres. Lincoln).

      Jul 10, 2012 at 10:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   bliffit

      If you took a poll I bet more people would relate Waldorf to Good Charlotte than Dr. Mudd. Though the data might reveal that both of them are less popular than Congress.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   The Elf

      Lol! Okay, that shows how out of touch I am with pop culture. I immediately thought of the 19th century, not the 21st.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 7:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #15   James

    @Miles They don’t actually sell pot there… they might sell that legal weed stuff but not actual marijuana. But y0u’re right, they do sell pot accessories.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 8:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      They *say* they don’t actually sell pot there. But they know a guy…..

      Jul 10, 2012 at 8:50 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #16   Jami

    Like others have said, old sign is old. I’ve seen them for sale in many a tourist trap.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 8:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #17   Dane Zeller

    Cliche. I’ve seen it at the state of Kansas department of motor vehicles where I go to wait a day or two to register my new car.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 8:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   H for Toy

      That’s because the Kansas DMV only wants to pay for computer hardware maintenance M-F, 9-5, and they don’t want to keep backup parts on site. On more than one occasion, at least half the system has gone down and had to wait either over the weekend, or until a part came in, to get fixed. And they still don’t want to pay the extra. Lucky you!

      Jul 10, 2012 at 9:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #18   Me>Hipster

    I totally saw this sign before anybody else here did. I was the first to see this sign.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 9:13 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #19   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Arrogant shit like this is why people shop on the internet now. Yes, that includes bong-related paraphenalia.

    You may have someplace to be instead of operating your business to a schedule, but know what else you’ve got? Competitors.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 10:25 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #20   really really?

    This sign is DECADES old. Lame.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 11:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #21   Wait a minute...

    I don’t think anyone has mentioned this, but I don’t think this is a new sign.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Redheadwglasses

      That’s what I (we) get for not reading other responses prior to posting.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #22   GhostWriter bang

    Sure, you’ve seen this before. Usually on a wood plaque or metal sign, hung up over the store’s cash register.

    But, when have you seen a store that actually walks the talk? These dudes lovingly hand-lettered the message onto their front door.

    I can imagine Bingo walking back into the store, sunburnt, tired, but wearing a silly grin; “Dude it is DONE!” right after placing the last period. “Did you remember to use the original “Hours” letters??, Hawkman asks, excitely. “Oh Yah, Bra!,” replies Bingo, “It makes all the difference!”

    Jul 10, 2012 at 12:51 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #23   oi

    Hey! You know, it’s been done before…

    um that bubble has been burst since who knows when. So :roll:

    Jul 10, 2012 at 5:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #24   Janet

    Fails on two counts: 1. a repeat that has been around for yonks and 2. not really passive agressive, just very laid-back passive.

    Jul 10, 2012 at 6:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   H for Toy

      Comment fails on two counts: 1. Oh yeah? Nobody’s mentioned that yet. 2. WTF? tab.

      Jul 10, 2012 at 7:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   DrChalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      I haven’t heard the term “yonks” in donkeys’ years!

      Jul 11, 2012 at 7:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.3   Janet

      Thanks for setting me straight, Toy. After the WTF tab, I looked at the community tab as well.

      Jul 15, 2012 at 12:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #25   JolyG

    Regardless if old or new it was funny to me and I personally have never seen anything like that before. I should of expected to see some passive aggressive comments on a passive aggressive sign….geez not that big of a deal lol keep it up though I’m enjoying old and new comments that are pretty much saying the exact same thing :-D

    Jul 11, 2012 at 11:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #26   medusa bang

    I’m thinking that the submitter isn’t quite so “anonymous” considering how nicely her reflection is framed in the shot.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 5:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #27   Sylphie

    My mother, a hairstylist, works in a shop which has a sign like this. However, since it’s just a joke, they keep the sign in the back, where customers won’t be confused or annoyed by it. This shop obviously didn’t get that memo.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #28   Tesselara

    This thing reads like those logic puzzles on the LSAT. I feel like the last sentence should be, “Using the information above, what times are we always open?”

    Jul 17, 2012 at 7:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #29   Mills

    Geez, people, lighten up already. Who cares if this has been seen before, from Alaska to Timbuktu. It is still funny.

    Jul 26, 2012 at 10:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   Heddy

    Ha! I have a friend who owns a pagan shop and her hours are kind of like that. She needs to put something like this on her door. :D

    Aug 3, 2012 at 2:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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