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This is not an all legs buffet.

July 11th, 2012 · 75 comments

“Apparently chicken legs can cause quite the hullabaloo in a small town,” notes our submitter in Iowa.

!!BUFFET NOTICE!! We do our best to provide all pieces of chicken on our buffet. We offer a chicken buffet, not a

related: Sushi buffet rules

FILED UNDER: Iowa · most popular notes of 2012 · restaurant · small town living · stealing

75 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Nita

    Evidently, they love legs….lol

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   spokenoise

      apparently they bred a six legged chicken, no one could catch it!

      Jul 12, 2012 at 5:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #2   Nita

    Evidently, they like legs…lol

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      There’s only two per chicken, just like Nita’s posts.

      They need to get with whoever makes John Madden’s six legged turkeys.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 7:29 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #3   Alison

    If only those legs would stop yelling and cursing and name-calling!

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Nocturnesthesia

      I’m glad I’m not the one who pictured a bunch of anthropomorphic chicken legs causing a full-blown riot.

      My grandmother was a minor buffet thief, but stopped when my cats went apeshit ripping her purse apart to get to the cheese biscuits and crab cakes inside. It was much funnier than it sounds.

      Jul 15, 2012 at 12:49 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #4   Molly Musaka

    Oh my. How hood do you have to be to steal some chicken legs from a buffet? I’m from Philly and I am, on occasion, pretty damn hood. However, come ON people!

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Penultimate

      How hood do you have to be to use a bread bag? You’re saving money by stealing all that chicken. The least you could do is loosen up those purse strings and spring for Ziploc, damn.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   nick17

      My ex’s dad would fill a bread bag with fried chicken from a local buffet, then take the kids out to the movies. A few minutes into the preview, the whole theater smelled like fried chicken. True story.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Noelegy

      How hood do you have to be to FIGHT over said legs?

      Jul 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   H for Toy

    Looks like somebody has been hoarding chicken legs, and then poking their greasy fingers at the notice.

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Lord Antares

      I also noticed how greasy it was. Ewww.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 9:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   pookie

      I was so much happier when I hadn’t noticed the greasy fingerprints. Thank you.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 9:18 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   H for Toy

      We aim to please, pookie!

      Jul 12, 2012 at 11:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   JK

    I don’t understand all the fighting about and stealing of legs. I’m more of a (chicken) breast fan, myself.

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   xMariex

      In my family, it works out… I eat with my parents and we just had chicken the other night. My mom and I usually have a thigh, wing, and leg each… and my dad is the one that will eat the breasts that us women-folk don’t like. ;) Though, when we were younger and my siblings still lived with us… yes, there was fighting for legs….

      In my house, it mostly just has to do with the fact that my brother and I (and somewhat, my mom) do not like white meat. My mom and I make an exception for wings… but we all think breast meat is too dry most of the time. (There are some exceptions and miracles of cooking…) My dad just loves it, though, which is odd because this is the man that can’t eat plain mashed potatoes or oatmeal without gagging.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 2:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   The Elf

      The drumstick is the best part of the chicken!

      Jul 12, 2012 at 7:30 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      As anyone who eats at KFC regularly knows; the best part of the chicken is the anus.

      Jul 13, 2012 at 11:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #7   Ermott

    But… I hate chicken legs.

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   xMariex

      you are about the only person i have heard of that does :P i like thighs and wings… but usually stick a leg on my plate, too, to offset the tiny size of the wing

      Jul 12, 2012 at 2:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Susan

      Me too! I only like chicken breast – it’s the only part with actual meat. All the other cuts consist mostly of fat and skin and gristle and bones *shudder*

      Jul 12, 2012 at 7:24 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   H for Toy

      I’m with you, Susan! Though I will concede that boneless, skinless chicken breast (which I prefer) does not make very good fried chicken.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 11:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   xMariex

      But Susan, the fat and skin are part of why I prefer dark meat! lol Yes, there is more skin on a breast, but with there being less fat it’s usually very dry to me. Turkey breast is about the only breast I like (duck if prepared properly… and rarely it is) and even then I’ll throw in a bit of dark meat in my bowl to add some moistness.

      Jul 13, 2012 at 1:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up


    I think they use the bread bag as a pocket liner…

    Jul 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   pookie

      Those are some deep pockets.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 9:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #9   Dewprisms

    Apparently this restaurant has never heard of buying certain parts of animals in bulk. Do they only buy entire cows and pigs as well?

    Jul 11, 2012 at 10:06 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   quat

      Dang, though. Them cow legs is hard to put in your pocket!

      Jul 11, 2012 at 10:37 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

  • #10   Sduck

    My grandmother used to steal all sorts of food – much to our embarrassment – when we took her to buffets. My dad finally laid down the law when she sent my little brother to ask for a to-go cup so she could sneak some soup into her purse.

    Jul 11, 2012 at 11:25 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   cracking up

      Awww. That is just too cute. I can just imagine my grandpa doin’ that — if he’d thought of it. Lose your farm in a depression (his was Dwight’s) when you have a family to feed, and you can see a buffet as a lifesaver.

      Jul 11, 2012 at 11:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Kay

      Well, crepes. My gramma is shaking on the pedestal where I usually keep her. She always took the rolls from a buffet… drove my dad nuts, yup… but she wrapped them in serviettes and stuffed them in her purse. How is it that she never thought of bringing along bread bags?!!! We even had discussions about crumbs in her purse. Sheesh. I am disillusioned.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 4:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Sirius¤ bang

      +5 leftpondian thumbs for using “serviettes” in a sentence.

      Jul 21, 2012 at 10:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   AH

    The moment when “legs” ceases to look like a word

    Jul 11, 2012 at 11:26 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #12   Steph

    It’s ridiculous how adults can act when told that something is out of stock.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 12:32 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #13   A

    Not a passive aggressive notice. I think it’s fair!

    Jul 12, 2012 at 12:53 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #14   xMariex

    A local chinese restaurant served crab legs but was still moderately priced. You wouldn’t believe the way people snapped them up and then hovered to wait for more… because obviously the buffet price was cheaper than going to some expensive seafood place for a plate of them. So instead of having a couple like intended, some people piled their plates…. and people circled like sharks… sheesh

    Jul 12, 2012 at 2:40 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Seanette

      I see that a lot at Chinese buffet places in my area, and it always seems to be the most ghetto-looking people (of whatever color) who have the highest stacks of crab legs.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 3:53 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Dewprisms

      All the buffets I’ve seen that have expensive stuff like that charge you a higher buffet rate if you eat them, but they’re clearly marked.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 11:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   xMariex

      Not at this one, dewp. Probably because they also had a moderate selection of sushi – nothing fancy or extravagant. And they also had steamed crawfish. It was just about $10 a person if you ate off the buffet because I figure they assumed most people only got a moderate amount of the more expensive items… and haven’t been there in a year or so… so hopefully those hicks didn’t cause the owners to jack up the price to make up for those who can’t handle sharing any better than a toddler.

      Jul 13, 2012 at 1:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #15   Kore

    The grease stains…shudder

    Jul 12, 2012 at 8:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   Jiminez

    Anyone want to take a stab at the racial demographics of this restaurant?

    Jul 12, 2012 at 8:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   no


      Jul 12, 2012 at 9:22 am   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   The Elf

      Not remotely. Buffet antics knows only cheapness, not race. I can guess what you were driving at with your comment, Jiminez. Consider the racial demographics of small town *Iowa* before you go there, though, and reconsider your stereotypes.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 9:42 am   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Leaping Lizard

      No thanks, Jiminez, but I’ll take a stab at your level of prejudice…

      Jul 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   DaveGI

      At most of the buffets I’ve been to it’s mostly white trash looking people doing stuff like this. I’m sure if I went to the ones in the more downtown areas, there’d be more African Americans behaving like this. But that’s because there’d be more African Americans there in general.

      Bad behavior is colorblind.

      Jul 12, 2012 at 3:33 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   xMariex

      Seriously. My own comments about bad behaviour at a buffet were from seeing a bunch of ill-mannered rednecks that don’t seem to know how to behave in a slightly nicer restaurant. THEY were all white.

      Jul 13, 2012 at 1:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   Balabusta in Blue Jeans

      Given that Iowa is 95% white, I think the odds are pretty good that so are the chicken-leg enthusiasts.

      Jul 14, 2012 at 8:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   Redheadwglasses

      Jiminez, I guarantee you, they are white.

      It’s Iowa. I’m from there.

      They’re white.

      Jul 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #17   Dane Zeller

    Things get quite competitive on the Red Oak north side!

    Jul 12, 2012 at 8:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   Kristin

    I’m going to have “Iowa Stubborn” from The Music Man in my head all day because of this.

    So what the heck, you’re welcome –
    Join us at the picnic
    You can have your fill of all the food you bring yourself
    You really ought to give Iowa a try

    Jul 12, 2012 at 9:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #19   Gregory House

    I guess that the song ‘Legs’ by ZZ Top would NOT be a popular song at this restaurant.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 11:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #20   mutzali

    We used to have 2 or 3 Asian Seafood Buffets with lunch for $8. They’ve been driven out of business by the folks who go in with a purse full of ziploc bags. The first 3 plates of food go right into the bags. THEN they get a plate of food to eat for lunch today.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Dr.Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      I don’t really understand people who steal from buffets. It’s hot food; that shit’s going to be disgusting by the next morning, so why take like three meals worth of food away?

      Jul 13, 2012 at 11:29 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   The Elf

      To some, free food is the best food even if it tastes bad.

      Jul 16, 2012 at 7:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Gregory House

      That is so very true. If there was a pile of shit that had a sign in front that said ‘free’ -you know there’d be a line.

      Jul 16, 2012 at 11:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   Noelegy


      Jul 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #21   C. N. Nevets

    Is that a chicken leg in your pocket or… ?

    Jul 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #22   Cavefish

    The last time I went to the grocery store, chicken legs were the least expensive pieces to buy… I can’t help but wonder why they don’t just buy more legs.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 4:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #23   jdaniel

    Some entrepreneur should open an “ALL LEGS” buffet across the street.

    Jul 12, 2012 at 11:17 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   kermit

      I think that calling it “All Legs Buffet” might give people the impression that it’s a nudie bar.

      I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am not to keen on eating at a place milling about with naked people.

      Jul 15, 2012 at 7:49 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   The Elf

      I think that would just prompt another debate about which is the best part: the leg or the breast?

      Jul 16, 2012 at 7:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #24   IamFuckingDelish

    Really people…

    You know those legs are Fucking Delicious!

    Jul 13, 2012 at 12:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #25   havingfitz

    I swear, one of the nicest things about growing up was that I could finally get a damn chicken breast instead of the legs everyone always tossed my way.

    Jul 13, 2012 at 8:51 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #26   tack

    5 guesses as to the predominant race in this town…

    Jul 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Alex

      Small town in Iowa…I’m going to guess “white.”

      Jul 14, 2012 at 7:05 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   Balabusta in Blue Jeans

      It’s IOWA. There aren’t five races IN Iowa.

      Jul 14, 2012 at 8:14 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #27   Sabine

    All caps = really serious. I wish I was a fly on the wall in the restaurant office when they were preparing the sign. Imagine the gems that were edited out. “THAT MEANS YOU, WOMAN WITH SOCKS AND HOUSE SLIPPERS” or “DON’T MAKE US CALL THE POLICE AGAIN”. I can picture the manager flying to the computer to prepare the sign after loading the buffet yet again and being verbally attacked. So angry, he completely bypassed the mandatory hand washing station and went right to the keyboard, then printer, grabbed the scotch tape and had to use extra because it wouldn’t stick to the greasy paper.

    Jul 14, 2012 at 9:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #28   Patti

    Dafuq I just read? o_O

    Jul 14, 2012 at 10:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #29   grik

    This is stupid. Have they ever looked at the price of chicken legs? Way cheaper then breasts or thighs and though their may be only two legs per chicken, they sell them in giant packs of just legs.

    Jul 16, 2012 at 11:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   Redheadwglasses

    As a native Iowan, I am pleased (but shocked) at the lack of Iowa-bashing in the comments. You’ve all let me down. ; )

    Jul 16, 2012 at 12:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   DaveGI

      It’s because we’ve all seen bad behavior at buffets in our own states. Not that all customers at buffets are low-class, but they do seem to attract more of them than other restaurants.

      Jul 16, 2012 at 2:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #30.2   The Elf

      Well, if you insist. I guess the reason people wanted all those chicken legs was because they were so damn sick of corn.

      Yeah, that was lame. I’m sorry, Redhead. I’ve got nuthin’. I mean, it isn’t *Texas*.

      Jul 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #30.3   Balabusta in Blue Jeans

      There’s just something about an all-you-can-eat situation that bypasses manners, logic, the awareness that you have a fridge full of food at home…

      Jul 16, 2012 at 10:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #31   moosh

    where is this place? i gotta check it out.

    Jul 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   James N

    Who has time to read all that? oops i just did ..

    Jul 17, 2012 at 11:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #33   etta

    My mil is in her late 80`s and does her grocery shopping at the buffets.She has gone as far taking freezer bags with her.I don`t know why but for some reason the manager lets her do it.She even asked him if he had an extra bag once.

    Jul 28, 2012 at 4:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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