The companion sport to Olympic race walking?

August 7th, 2012 · 31 comments

Because dribbling isn’t such a useful skill outside of basketball…

The Olympics have started and we get to witness inspirational athletic accomplishments each day. Against this back drop, surely we as a team of professionals on the 14th floor can CONSISTENTLY HIT THE URINAL! It is not that hard folks. If for some reason you struggle (and clearly at least one us struggles every day), just sit down. This is disgusting and it is within our ability to keep the place clean.

Somehow I don’t think suggesting people sit down at the urinal is the answer, though.

Perhaps something a bit more Olympic in spirit?

related: Well, that seems (uri)logical enough

extra credit: Urinal Games [youtube.com]

FILED UNDER: office · piss · Pittsburgh · toilet


31 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Joe

    Penis futbol?

    Aug 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   feleepe

    I love the fact that one London Olympics logo is not enough. They needed one at every corner to successfully make their point.
    Also, the centralized text makes me wanna hurl. Why are they trying to make their text harder to read? Justify, people. Justify.

    Aug 7, 2012 at 4:58 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   makfan bang

    This is a universal problem. Unfortunately no sign, humorous or not, is going to make it better.

    Aug 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      The game might, though. At least for those who enjoy water sports.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 8:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Sir Puke

    As a dude that minds his own business, I suspect it’s people that talk on the phone and urinate (it happens quite frequently).

    Aug 7, 2012 at 5:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mel K bang

      I wish this was true, however, I don’t think men started urinating on the floor only in the last 20 odd years.
      I hate it when people talk to me on the phone and I can hear them peeing. It is very disturbing.

      Aug 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Polly

    Man, I’m not touching this with a 3.5 inch pole.

    Aug 7, 2012 at 10:22 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Dane Zeller

    The troubled author of this sign truly misunderstands the nature of sport so much so that his license for analogy should be revoked. Ted Williams, perhaps the greatest hitter of all time, successfully hit the baseball only 4 times out of 10. I rest my case.

    Aug 8, 2012 at 7:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   The Elf

      And yet, for some men successfully hitting the target 4 out of 10 times would be an improvement.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 8:27 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   girl_with_all_the_yarn

    What gets me is the little goal at the end. The rest of it is pretty standard but that little goal… Olympic peeing, anyone?

    Aug 8, 2012 at 8:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      Any man who uses that urinal should be required to shout out “GOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!” just before the two shakes.

      I’m assuming, of course, that he hit the goal. Floor pee-ers get a red card.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 10:48 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   jUStPunkin

    I am totally hanging this sign in my bathroom at home. I’m also going to keep a box of Cheerios in the bathroom; perhaps if the men in my house have something to aim at, they’ll do a better job of it.

    And, I will give my boys credit where credit is due – they are pretty damn good about putting the seat down when they are done; and they do put it up when they go. I could have it much worse.

    Aug 8, 2012 at 9:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mel

      I remember hearing about some public place (a bar, maybe? Not sure) that painted a fly near the centre of each of its urinals, and suddenly there were almost no more messes on the floor. The patrons just could not resist aiming at the fly.

      So, you know, if you don’t mind it looking like there’s always a fly in your toilet, you could try that.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 3:00 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   L

      That’s actually how my aunt potty-trained my cousin.

      Aug 19, 2012 at 1:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Mantis bang

    People are filthy animals. All we do is pretend otherwise.

    Aug 8, 2012 at 10:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      It’s why I don’t eat human.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 10:50 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   El Jefe

      But what if the human had a charming personality?

      Aug 10, 2012 at 11:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   DaveGI

      As long as they have excellent taste!

      Aug 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   bob loblaw

    I pee on the floor on purpose, so ha to the sign I say.

    Aug 8, 2012 at 10:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   kermit

      So you wouldn’t mind if your friends and acquaintances pee on your floor or say, shit in your oven? Thought so.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 5:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   bob loblaw

      Everyone — ‘cept you — is welcome to come over and do so ……….

      Aug 9, 2012 at 1:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   SilentPsycho

    Now I have to resist the urge to print these off and place them in the men’s toilet at work. As I normally have to clean them each day before we open, I know far too much about how odd the urinals can get. Now, I just need to find a way to convince the guys to not leave balls of chewing gum in the urinals…

    Aug 8, 2012 at 1:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Maybe you should just leave them there so they have something to aim for?

      Aug 9, 2012 at 8:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   yudantaiteki

    Maybe women don’t understand this, but men can’t always aim accurately. It doesn’t necessarily go where you point it. Of course at home or someone’s house you should wipe up if you miss, but at a public urinal you can’t really do that.

    Aug 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Rita

      And this is why I will continue to say – SIT THE F DOWN. If you CAN’T reliably aim, please please PLEASE just go use the toilet instead of the urinal.

      Aug 8, 2012 at 10:40 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   The Elf

      How can you not aim accurately? Okay, maybe if you have pretty bad hand-eye coordination or something. But otherwise…. isn’t it essentially a point and shoot?

      Aug 9, 2012 at 1:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Lil'

      I’m no guy, but when I’m using a water hose, I get better control when I hold it close to the opening. Just sayin…

      Aug 9, 2012 at 2:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   feleepe

      yudantaiteki is right… sometimes you actually point exactly where you want it, but the stream goes sideways for some reason.
      it’s very annoying when that happens! especially since you have to clean it afterwards (which, clearly, not many people do)

      Aug 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Poltergeist

      As a man, I get what yudantaiteki is saying regarding the aiming. This is going to be gross, but if you really want to know ladies – sometimes the sides of the opening of our hoses get stuck together, which may result in the stream going a bit sideways for a split second rather than straight until the passageway completely opens up (and a split second is all it takes).

      However, that’s still no excuse for not cleaning up after yourself, and if you find this happening to you frequently, you should probably just sit down if there is a seat available.

      Aug 10, 2012 at 8:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   DaveGI

      Also long foreskins that overhang the rest of the unit can send the stream off in different directions if it’s not pulled back far enough.

      Aug 13, 2012 at 7:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   buckethead_22

    Lets hope the Olympic Committee doesn’t get wind of their unauthorized use of the Olympic logo.

    Aug 10, 2012 at 5:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     

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