If you work in an office that supplies your cream and sugar needs gratis, consider yourself lucky. There’s something about coffee creamer that sends folks off the deep end…
P.S. If you’ve thought of a different tactic, it’s probably been tried before.
related: Coffee, mate?
118 responses so far ↓
#1
Trekkie Gal
Dear Hector, If you don’t want people to use your *#&(^@% creamer, keep it in your desk!
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:38 pm rating: 29
#2
Divawriter
Team note writer here. Most of us don’t have refrigerators at our desks. Anything that is perishable (such as cream, half & half or milk) has to be stored in a fridge that is, unfortunately, accessible to co-workers. Something that is clearly marked with a co-worker’s name has NOT been provided by the company for everyone to use and should be left alone. If you like cream in your coffee, buy your own. This includes high-paid management types, who are sometimes the worst offenders.
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:48 pm rating: 70
#3
havingfitz
Dave????
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm rating: 7
#4
Lisa
Team Note-Writer all the way, if only because I feel his/her specific pain. I bought a bottle of flavored creamer (which, fyi, Trekkie Gal, must be refrigerated. Do YOU have a personal fridge in your office? No? Yeah, I didn’t think so.) and put it in the office fridge on the Friday before I left for a week-long vacation. When I returned, the bottle of creamer was EMPTY. I’m not ashamed to say that I lost my shit and stormed up and down the halls making my position clear.
Later, after I’d calmed down, I told my husband maybe I should have put my name on it. He pointed out, very correctly, that it doesn’t matter who it belongs to; the people that used it knew it wasn’t THEIRS, and that’s all that matters.
Wow. Four years later, and I’m still a little bitter.
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm rating: 66
#5
Adriana
I use heavy whipping cream in my coffee and that crap is expensive and I have to keep it in the refrigerator. If my coworkers started using that without my permission, I’d be pissed. Coffee is super serious business.
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:58 pm rating: 32
#6
Sir Puke
Spiking the creamer would reveal the perpetrator(s).
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:59 pm rating: 23
#7
Maggie
I can understand that he’s annoyed that other people used some of his creamer but c’mon, it’s just creamer. His email is completely unprofessional (complete with ALL CAPS!) & he’s overreacting by A LOT. If you keep something like that in a community fridge, people are going to help themselves. It’s just creamer for God’s sake, what does it cost, $1.50? No reason for him to become unhinged. OMG, you only used it 3 times & it’s ALMOST half empty? GASP!
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:59 pm rating: 8
#8
Dan
Sorry, while the A$$ who took what wasn’t his is clearly wrong, Hector needs to buy powdered creamer and keep it in his desk so he can keep his melon together. It won’t spoil. really.
Aug 13, 2012 at 9:01 pm rating: 3
#9
Pepper
maybe hector should bring it in a tupperware container labled Breast Milk.
Aug 13, 2012 at 9:03 pm rating: 48
#10
Jennifer
Hector neglected to end his quote when he provided the translation of his name.
Aug 13, 2012 at 9:32 pm rating: 5
#11
Bec
I have no idea what creamer is, is it like milk? Sorry non-American here, off to do some googling.
Aug 13, 2012 at 9:38 pm rating: 8
#12
Christi
We have a community fridge in my office and no one would DARE eat or drink anyone’s stuff. In fact if someone forgets their lunch someone usually is offering their extra can of soup or their peanut butter. We regularly have potlucks that everyone chips in on and we still even ask if it’s cool to eat the leftovers! We also have a pop can so that we can replenish our pop supply regularly without anyone having to be put out. I guess it just comes down to mutual respect…
Aug 13, 2012 at 9:39 pm rating: 36
#13
wewqfnjwefqknfio
He obviously works in collections, so, I have zero sympathy.
Aug 13, 2012 at 10:19 pm rating: 3
#14
Poltergeist
Communal fridges are a lost cause. Everybody should just start purchasing well insulated lunchboxes and keep their stuff locked away in their desks.
Aug 14, 2012 at 12:05 am rating: 2
#15
Polly
First off, Hector, if you write an entire memo in ALL CAPS, lots o’ folks won’t bother to read it. Secondly, what do you mean by “Subject: on the floor”? Thirdly, learn to close your quotation marks. Sorry for your loss.
Aug 14, 2012 at 12:45 am rating: 6
#16
Julia
I once caught a coworker surreptitiously helping himself to my (labelled) pint of half-and-half. He said, “Well, I wouldn’t steal it from someone I didn’t know!” Welcome to the world of thief logic…
Anyway, Hector, if I were you I’d just decant the creamer into a Tupperware container, ideally an opaque one that doesn’t give any hint of its contents. And if you happen to be pouring some of it into your cup when other people are around, be sure to lick any excess drops off the side of the container. Yup, that should do the trick
Aug 14, 2012 at 1:02 am rating: 42
#17
SeattleDude
And you wonder how Starbucks grew at 26% each year for a decade?
Aug 14, 2012 at 2:03 am rating: 18
#18
e
If he thinks his name means “help yourself to my stuff”, then labelling his stuff with his name seems rather self-defeating.
Aug 14, 2012 at 5:34 am rating: 17
#19
Ruth
Hey, all of you defending the thief ’cause it’s “just coffee creamer”, it’s not expensive – GO AND BUY SOME YOURSELF THEN!
Don’t eat other people’s food without asking – this is primary school stuff, christ almighty! Unbelievable.
Aug 14, 2012 at 6:14 am rating: 32
#20
The Elf
Legititmate gripe or not, who uses “U” in an office note? Is “you” really that hard to spell out?
Aug 14, 2012 at 7:42 am rating: 20
#21
Smokey
People take my coffee K-Cups at work….It pushes me near the edge.
Aug 14, 2012 at 7:52 am rating: 2
#22
The Elf
Whenever a coffee-related PAN comes up, one thing becomes brutally clear:
Do Not Fuck With Coffee Drinkers.
They’ll cut you if they don’t get their fix. Seriously.
Aug 14, 2012 at 8:12 am rating: 43
#23
Kristy
There is one person in our office who is a notorious food thief. He actually took my yogurt and then complained to me that he thought it was gross. I don’t keep my lunch where he can get to it.
Aug 14, 2012 at 8:24 am rating: 20
#24
Nahhh
Bring your daily creamer from home in a small Thermos and keep it at your desk.
It’s a fact: People, even “professionals,” will take and use anything they can get access to.
Aug 14, 2012 at 9:17 am rating: 1
#25
redheadwglasses
I noticed that my peanut butter (with my name and date of opening written on it), which I kept in the kitchen cupboard at work, but pushed back so it’s not easily seen, was being depleted faster than it should be, so I took it out of the kitchen and now keep it at my desk. The other morning I was in the kitchen and a coworker was rummaging around in that cabinet and said to me, “Darn it, where’s that peanut butter?” Grrrr.
Aug 14, 2012 at 11:51 am rating: 27
#26
dot
The only logic I can think of that would cause this would be some offices have communal items, often items such as milk/creamer, sugar, butter, etc. People take turns buying these, and everyone uses them. I’ve worked in offices both this style and the traditional, only-use-what-you-brought style. If there isn’t a clear understanding of the office environment, there could be issues.
Clearly items like a sandwich or packed lunch would not fit into this category, so there’s no excuse for taking that. But for other items like creamer, I’d make sure everyone (including myself) was clear on the issue of sharing or not beforehand.
Aug 14, 2012 at 11:55 am rating: 0
#27
Wait..what?
Funny how everyone is assuming his delicious artifically flavored, chemical laden glop was actually in the fridge to begin with. He could have the powdered version and leaves it by the coffee maker.
Either way, it is very easy to simply bring the portion you are going to use each day in a container and USE it instead of taking up space in a community fridge and then shitting your pants when someone else supposedly uses it. I do it when I am out of coffee at home and plan on drinking the company swill. I bring what I need.
Aug 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm rating: 2
#28
Belaani
Simple solution – keep your coffee creamer in a Ziplock bag in your pocketbook. Put powdered milk or… powdered eggshells in the creamer jar. It won’t take long to wean the mooches off of your supplies.
Aug 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm rating: 2
#29
Belinda
If I don’t want people drinking my creamer, I put it in an empty water bottle and label it “BREAST MILK”. It works.
Aug 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm rating: 2
#30
Lauri
I seem to detect a trend that even when people witness food theft in progress they fail to actually SAY SOMETHING TO THEM. Maybe instead of being passive aggressive about it and hoping the person magically changes, you might achieve better results actually telling the person to their face to stop using your stuff. Kind of like when women “expect” their husbands to know what they want instead of actually telling them and then pouting when it doesn’t happen.
Aug 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm rating: 6
#31
kacky
I would pretend to use it just to punish her for using the office kitchen as her personal storage area. The refrigerator and kitchenette cupboards are communal. Store personal items in your own desk, entitled biatch!
Aug 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm rating: 0
#32
Beatus Mongous
Dear Hector,
Don’t use 1/2 a cup of coffee creamer per each cup of coffee, and the stuff will last a tad bit longer.
Aug 14, 2012 at 6:40 pm rating: 1
#33
Alex
After reading this thread, I’m starting to think I should add “never steals from the office fridge” to my resume.
Aug 14, 2012 at 8:32 pm rating: 31
#34
Grammar Popo
If I wasn’t already stealing his creamer, I would certainly start after this email. Any grown man who writes an email to the entire office using “u” instead of “you” deserves way worse than that. Perhaps a public stoning right after the purchase of a new creamer would be appropriate.
Aug 14, 2012 at 10:13 pm rating: 3
#35
Spooky
{whistling a happy tune for not being a coffee drinker, no longer working in an office environment, and having no cats}
This drama washes right over me….but start in on PA mothers, and I’ll go as ape-shit as any coffee-drinking cat-lover you can name.
Aug 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm rating: 2
#36
Summer
Hector could do what I did to stop my office creamer thief. Buy a decoy creamer, pour a ton of salt in it….never have a creamer thief again.
Aug 15, 2012 at 7:06 pm rating: 7
#37
notolaf
Hector! Find a period! I can’t breathe!
Sep 1, 2012 at 6:29 pm rating: 0
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