So, apparently in Cuba, Missouri (pop. 3,071) folks take their onions seriously. (Would any Missourians out there care to explain?)
related: Yes, we wash our lemons!
FILED UNDER: restaurant · small town living · WTF?
What, do they check your bags and pockets to see if you have any of the offending vegetable? I would love to sneak an onion in my purse and see if I could walk through the onion detectors without getting caught!
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:04 pm rating: 34
Yeah, no idea how they plan on enforcing this. Go up to people who are openly weeping and say “Is that a sliced onion in your pocket or are you really sad to see me?”
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:13 pm rating: 122
Taking it seriously, some cities do have laws against taking outside food & drinks into restaurants. It’s a violation of the health code.
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:17 pm rating: 5
this is true, but i’m wondering why the specificity. that’s the strange part.
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:18 pm rating: 29
Someone probably brought an onion in claiming they weren’t going to eat it.
Aug 19, 2012 at 11:19 pm rating: 5
What I don’t get is why someone would want to take food TO a restaurant/pub….kind of defeats the point, no?
Aug 21, 2012 at 7:12 am rating: 2
This old guy from my hometown would go to the Huddle House for coffee almost daily, and he’d bring his own sausage patties cooked at home. He’d order his coffee and ask the waitresses to warm up his sausage on the grill. They’d do it for him. Unsanitary? Sure, but hey, I already told you it was the Huddle House.
Aug 21, 2012 at 7:39 am rating: 8
@Dr Know. Well, usually it’s something like a birthday cake people bring. Now the healthy department would rather you eat dry restaurant cake on your birthday instead of awesome super moist homemade cakes.
Aug 21, 2012 at 4:08 pm rating: 1
@Jami Some smarta** probably *did* do that, or claimed that ‘It’s not food, it’s a condiment!’
And as for the other…this is why you eat out, and then go home for the dessert. Alternatively, don’t eat out in the first place, and have something delivered instead.
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:03 pm rating: 1
@Vulpis – But the whole point of going out on your birthday is so you don’t have to cook for or clean up after your family.
To be fair, not all restaraunt cake is dry. The chocolate cake at La Cave here in Costa Mesa is so moist it tasted freshly made. And I once was given a free slice of chocolate cake at Hooters because a bug flew into my water glass that was so moist and delicious I thought I was eating a piece of my mom’s Better Than Sex Chocolate Chocolate-Fudge Cake.
Aug 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm rating: 0
Strange, where I’m from I can’t think of any restaurant denying you the chance to bring in your own Birthday cake. That would make them look really mean!
Aug 22, 2012 at 6:45 pm rating: 2
Depends on the state and city laws, Doc. In some cities in California the health department said you can no longer bring cakes into restaurants. They claimed that it was a health code violation because a few places that had allowed that in the past had rats.
What the connection is, I don’t know.
Aug 22, 2012 at 9:10 pm rating: 1
Jami, we’re practically neighbors, I live in Huntingon Beach. I see you on these boards all the time and never knew you were local! I know what you’re talking about with the cakes though, I tried to take one in to a bar in Long Beach for my birthday a few years back and I wasn’t allowed. But then there were some older gentlemen in there with a huge bowl of candies and no one said anything to them. I think places make up the health department bs so that they can make you buy their stuff instead.
Aug 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm rating: 0
Hideho Neighborino! (Ug, even typing like Flanners makes me feel goofy. Plus how the heck is that suppose to be spelled?)
It could be but I do know that one of the places we used to eat at a lot actually had a sign outside from the health department saying that outside food could not be brought in and even cited where you could read & confirm it.
Aug 23, 2012 at 11:26 pm rating: 1
huh. they must charge a lot for onions.
recently, in protest, some students at a local campus handed out free onions outside of the food court because they were price gouging the students.
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:18 pm rating: 14
But I already have them on my belt!
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:32 pm rating: 47
Well that is the style.
Aug 20, 2012 at 2:17 am rating: 16
Well, I’m allergic to onions so I’m all for this policy, especially if it signifies that the premises are completely onion free!
However, I do agree it’s a bit unusual.
Aug 19, 2012 at 9:46 pm rating: 4
Just another business trying to bust the power of the onions.
Aug 19, 2012 at 10:18 pm rating: 40
The onion part is probably because Vidalia onions are grown specifically in that area of Missouri, as well as several other varieties in the general area.
Aug 19, 2012 at 10:52 pm rating: 10
Maybe some kind of sweet onion is grown there but Vidalia onions are only grown in Georgia. Only reason I know is because I’m a Northerner who moved to GA for a few years and they’re pretty emphatic about it down there (google “vidalia onion regulation)
Aug 20, 2012 at 7:42 am rating: 3
Vidalia Onions are grown in Vidalia, Georgia.
There’s about a 20 county region that are allowed to grow, market, and sell Vidalia Onions.
Aug 21, 2012 at 7:37 am rating: 3
By law, Vidalia onions can only be grown in certain counties in the state of Georgia, so none are grown in MO. They are named after a city in GA and would legally have to be called something else in any other state.
Aug 27, 2012 at 12:45 am rating: 4
I’ve always wondered about the whole bringing in outside drinks to a bar. I should ask a bartender if I’d be allowed to bring in my favored variety of energy drink so when I have a Jagerbomb I can have it with my drink and not gross Red Bull. I’d still pay full price though.
Aug 19, 2012 at 11:32 pm rating: 1
A lot of places let you bring your own, but will charge you a bottle charge. TBF bringing in the cheap soda you bought at the supermarket to avoid the restaurant price is losing them money. If you want to sit there, you gotta buy their stuff. Want the cheap soda, get take-out.
Aug 21, 2012 at 1:59 am rating: 1
BYO is pretty standard in Australia. Some places do specify wine only, though.
Aug 26, 2012 at 4:33 am rating: 1
But my onions are very well-behaved! They always sit quietly at the table, and never fight over chicken legs.
Aug 20, 2012 at 12:11 am rating: 55
I just bought my onion for the articles-for sho man.
Aug 20, 2012 at 2:15 am rating: 6
I sick and tired of onionless people always giving me and my onions dirty looks every time we go to a restaurant or board a plane. Where are the onion-friendly restaurants? I bet this one doesn’t even have prep tables in the bathrooms!
Aug 20, 2012 at 9:31 pm rating: 30
Are they onions for the disabled? In that case, you have an exemption!
Aug 23, 2012 at 7:24 pm rating: 2
But the Onion is a newspaper and it’s funny!
Aug 20, 2012 at 2:22 am rating: 17
It should be in Spanish. The Mexican element eats onions, raw, with every meal. They chaw them down like an apple. Like what the Whitehouse beautician said when she refused to give Michelle a full brazilian. “Think of the smell!!!”
Aug 20, 2012 at 2:32 am rating: 1
“the Mexican element”? ಠ_ಠ
Raw onions are nice, anyway, what is your problem? They only smell as much as cooked garlic.
Aug 20, 2012 at 5:03 am rating: 10
Who passed out the Haterade?
Sad little sock troll is sad.
Aug 20, 2012 at 6:51 am rating: 37
I’m sure you don’t even have the decency to be ashamed of yourself.
Aug 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm rating: 11
You guys have never heard of the Mexican element? It’s called Mexicium, right after Americium on the periodic table of elements. It’s a gas at room temperature, has a spicy aroma, and the electrons orbit the nucleus in the vague shape of a sombrero.
Aug 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm rating: 32
Oh, so it’s what Mexican jumping beans are made of, right? Thanks for the chemistry lesson!
Aug 20, 2012 at 7:36 pm rating: 3
I’m getting the mental image of this person setting up the ‘Mexican element’ with their onions against the ‘Italian element’ with their garlic cloves in secret pit fights in Kitchen Stadium in order to eventually produce a hybrid who’s breath (and cooking) is a WMD…
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:08 pm rating: 5
Wouldn’t onions+ garlic form a shallot?
Aug 22, 2012 at 9:20 pm rating: 1
This is disgustingly racist. Under all their layers, onions are the same as everybody else. Just because they’re smelly foreigners doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the same rights as you and me.
…Now the Irish Potatoes, they’re the ones you have to watch out for.
Aug 20, 2012 at 4:09 am rating: 23
Lucky The Leprechaun
…especially the red headed ones…
Aug 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm rating: 5
Damn right, always getting into bar fights to trying to gouge out each others eyes.
Aug 20, 2012 at 9:22 pm rating: 15
Ha! My sister is a teacher at the Cuba elementary school. I’ll ask her.
Aug 20, 2012 at 4:33 am rating: 4
Maybe they don’t carry onions for gimlet cocktails?
Aug 20, 2012 at 6:55 am rating: 0
I like to think the sign used to end with “food” and someone said “Even onions??” and they had to amend it.
Aug 20, 2012 at 9:12 am rating: 25
But apparently drinks like water or non-alcoholic beer/wine/etc are perfectly fine.
Aug 20, 2012 at 10:06 am rating: 1
I’ve eaten there, it’s awesome, please stop by and support their onion free environment and be sure to try the Frisco Melt.. its excellent, I was not paid for this endorsement and I approve this message…
Aug 20, 2012 at 11:42 am rating: 8
Ah, this would make Kerf cry tears of joy.
Aug 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm rating: 4
I really think it’s a joke…a little sarcasm is all…
Aug 22, 2012 at 5:36 pm rating: 0
Or they might have someone there frequently who has an onion allergy.
Aug 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm rating: 0
I live about an hour and a half away from Cuba. I’m going to have to stop by next time I drive to St. Louis and bring onions.
Aug 23, 2012 at 10:14 pm rating: 1
Well…it’s cheaper to bring your own food than order it there. And, well…..they probably don’t even serve energy driks (That’s what Wal-Mart is for!). Finally…nobody wants driking and driving TO the pub! Really, you can only accomplish that one way – from the pub to the house…or on your way to Wal-Mart for energy drinks and onions.
Aug 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm rating: 0
Apparently onions were a fad at one point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRUj8dma0oo
Aug 25, 2012 at 8:31 pm rating: 0
Maybe the restaurant owner doesn’t think The Onion is funny (did you see the “Michele bachmann is relieved no Americans died in the Sikh temple shooting” article?”) and he got confused when ordering the sign.
Aug 27, 2012 at 11:43 am rating: 0
I’m from Missouri, and I do care to explain. But I can’t. A lot of people here are kind of like those jokes that you just have to be there for. :S
Aug 29, 2012 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
My grandmother, born and raised about 50 miles south of Cuba, MO, HAD TO HAVE a raw onion with nearly every meal – as someone else said, she cut and ate it like an apple and considered it a necessity.
Aug 31, 2012 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
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