Err, perhaps the division of Facebook friends should have been included in the settlement?
related: The happiest place on Earth
FILED UNDER: ex drama · Facebook · unnecessary "quotation marks"
Who passed out the Haterade?
I know I’m in the minority, but drama like this is just one of the reasons why I plan to never have a Facebook account.
Aug 21, 2012 at 10:52 pm rating: 47
And for others, drama is the only reason why they have Facebook.
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:07 am rating: 108
I’m 20, and in the past I thought I was missing out on something in Facebook. Now I feel much better about never having one.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:32 am rating: 13
You’re only going to have a shitty Facebook if you have shitty friends. After all, the vast majority of the content is generated by your friends…and if you want to avoid it for that reason, it’s a sure sign that they should no longer be friends.
So basically, every time people deride Facebook or say that it would be horrible…I just think “Wow, you must have shitty and/or boring friends”
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:26 pm rating: 82
Facebook is used exclusively by narcissistic teenage girls. Said teens may be masquerading as other demographics, but in their dramatic and giggly souls, they are all narcissistic teenage girls.
Aug 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm rating: 11
People deride Facebook because it repeatedly violates people’s privacy. Plus the site has transformed more and more towards sparking catty behaviour from people.
Interacting on-line is not the same at all as interacting in real life. On-line, it’s extremely easy to cause offence or spark an argument over something completely innocuous and non-personal. If you doubt this, check back on some the shitstorm comments on the site and the vitriol that comes out of it that would never happen in real life when discussing the same topic, and not just because cops would be called – outdoor/indoor cat debate, anyone?
Where people have more social cues to read, such things are far less likely to happen.
Such problems can be amplified if there’s a big generation gap, and one party is not as savy at gauging what’s Internet “cool” behaviour versus what’s just plain annoying.
So sure, Facebook can suck because of your lame friends. But it also sucks because it’s designed that way.
Aug 23, 2012 at 5:10 pm rating: 7
Who passed out the Haterade?
I would disagree on only one point, kermit… while Facebook violates people’s privacy, its true failing (at least from my perspective) is that it encourages people to violate what should be their own and others’ privacy.
Aug 24, 2012 at 10:23 am rating: 4
Inadvertent Facebook stalking is why I hardly ever log into the site. The annoying stalker emails from Facebook admin also help with that.
“kermit, you haven’t been to Facebook in a while, log in!”
“kermit, friend x added friends. are these people also your friends? your list is not big enough for our liking”
etc. Now they all go into the spam bin.
Aug 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm rating: 5
Sometimes though people who are normally good people who don’t clutter your page with crap can do something on FB that makes you want to just scream.
My oldest brother love things like fishing. He happened to like some photos from Ken’s Sporting Goods in Bishop, CA. One of them was a picture of a man and a buck he got during hunting season, all gutted and such. His fiance went on and on about how she didn’t like to see pictures like that because of how much she loves animals. I thought to myself, “Oh for the love of – you’re both almost 50 years old and live together! Can’t you tell him how much that photo bugs you in private instead of on Facebook?!”
I didn’t say anything, however. Let him handle it on his own. Still, I found the whole thing immature and a bit embarrassing.
Aug 25, 2012 at 7:06 pm rating: 3
Facebook: Enabling childish exes since 2004.
Aug 21, 2012 at 11:27 pm rating: 32
How is she being childish?
Aug 22, 2012 at 8:55 am rating: 11
The public confrontation.
Though I’d like to this is just the last straw sort of thing. Like she’s been trying to get him to see his kids for a long time and he just kept blowing them off. So she, tired of her kids asking her why their daddy doesn’t love them, decides to humiliate him on Facebook.
More likely though, this is her first attempt.
Aug 22, 2012 at 9:16 am rating: 21
And this is why I blocked my ex on facebook. He does not need to see any of my comments, and I do not need to see any of his.
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm rating: 28
I don’t understand blocking. Why not just unfriend? I unfriended the minute we separated. What a relief. No desire to see what he does, no desire for him to spy on me.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:15 pm rating: 7
Blocking keeps the person out of absolutely everything. You can unfriend a person and they’ll still be able to see anything public on your profile, but blocking them means they can’t even see that. Of course, if they log out they’ll be able to see public things again, but most people are too stupid or lazy to do that, or they really just don’t care THAT much.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:20 pm rating: 11
Sometimes unfriending can lead to issues too. Like for relatives that constantly put out forwards or religious/political posts, but would cause drama if you ever told them you weren’t interested. Hiding their posts lets you avoid all that crap but not offend them.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:39 pm rating: 8
Hiding is different than blocking. A list:
Unsubscribe = You don’t see anything they post but you are “friends”, they see what you post
Custom Privacy Settings = They don’t see anything you post but you are “friends”, you see what they post
(a combination of the above can lead to perfection where you are both “friends” but never see anything of each other)
Unfriend = No longer “friends” but they can still see your public posts and mutual friends posts depending on your privacy settings (they need to search for you first)
Block = You are completely invisible to them. They can’t even search your profile on Facebook or look at your public posts. A workaround exists if they log out, because then it doesn’t know who they are.
Aug 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm rating: 8
She is being childish because she is a woman
Aug 22, 2012 at 2:28 pm rating: 5
Wouldn’t this be much simpler if Facebook gave you the option of publicly named lists, like:
- acquaintance you sorta remember but not really
- family member or co-worker you’re forced to be friends with to make things run smoothly
- real friend
- “on notice” list
- sh!t list
At least with this system, everybody would know where they stand in your graces and would comport themselves accordingly.
Aug 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm rating: 17
If you can’t see how she’s being childish, then I pity your current and future exes.
Aug 22, 2012 at 8:42 pm rating: 2
She is being childish, but we all tend to act a little childish when we’ve been pushed too far. I obviously know nothing about the situation, but if what she says is true about him being a lazy dad who never sees his kids, then I don’t feel bad for her ex.
That’s right, I passed anonymous judgement on an anonymous stranger. It’s the reason we’re all here on this site.
Aug 22, 2012 at 10:24 pm rating: 22
We don’t know the situation. However, there’s completely legitimate reasons why he might not see the children. During the breakup he may have made it clear he’d rather not deal with them (not great, but hey, if you don’t want to do it, be human enough to admit it). She may have wanted them (the comment makes her seem to be the type). He may have decided instead he’d rather just pay child support.
As long as he pays his child support and has made it clear he’s not interested, she should back off and move on after explaining to the children the situation (once they’re old enough to properly comprehend it).
Aug 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm rating: 0
I agree shepd – as long as he made it clear that he wants to be a deadbeat, she should really leave it alone. It’s his right. As long as he sends her the “stay out of my life” money, he really should be free to live his life. How dare she burden him with her unrealistic expectation that he actually be a father his children. If she explains it to them when they are older that their father didn’t want them, I’m sure they’ll understand. Heck, why doesn’t she just tell them their father died in some noble way – like falling while trying to save an abandoned outdoor cat from a tree. Then they won’t feel rejected and he won’t have to screen his calls. LET THE MAN LIVE HIS LIFE, SHONA! Women…
Aug 24, 2012 at 6:54 pm rating: 20
Would you rather have a parent around who you can tell doesn’t really want to be there and resents you for it? Or would you just be happier and saner if all you saw was the money they sent you?
You can’t guilt trip people into being good parents. Kids are not stupid and they can sense resentment.
Aug 25, 2012 at 12:44 pm rating: 5
You can’t force somebody to be a good parent, true. However, you can voice your disdain for such a person to let them know and let others know just what you think of their lazy ass. People should vent their frustrations, otherwise it just builds up until they explode, and the douchebags who get what they want deserve to be told off.
Aug 25, 2012 at 6:41 pm rating: 8
Who passed out the Haterade?
The trouble is: Shona’s hurting her own cause by trying to publicly shame him, which means she’s doing the same thing she accuses him of – putting something else (her ego) ahead of the children’s best interest. Does anyone genuinely believe this post will make Colin more likely to want to see her and the kids, assuming he even has the capacity*?
* – As Bookmark aptly points out below, he may be working too much OT to pay child support. Or he may live far enough away that the cost of gas genuinely is a concern… notice the air quotes of contempt, which means it’s likely that he has said this (whether true or not) and she’s mocking him for it. The economy being what it is, either of these is reasonably possible.
Aug 26, 2012 at 2:10 am rating: 0
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:32 am rating: 12
Maybe Colin doesn’t want to travel 6 miles to put up with a crusty, bitter old woman.
Nah, that couldn’t be it.
Aug 22, 2012 at 3:08 am rating: 14
You have issues.
Aug 22, 2012 at 8:57 am rating: 25
Should have thought of that before he chose to have children with a crusty, bitter old woman.
Aug 22, 2012 at 9:13 am rating: 80
She wasn’t crusty, bitter or old before she met him. . . !
Aug 22, 2012 at 10:57 am rating: 50
Mayhaps the point is that seeing the children should be worth more than avoiding the ex…
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm rating: 35
In some areas, you can arrange visitation/custody changes take place at a police station or firehouse. So you don’t have to see the other person at all, but can still see the kids.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:35 pm rating: 9
Hahaha. Too bad nobody on here knows how to take a joke.
Aug 22, 2012 at 2:29 pm rating: 1
Jokes are supposed to be funny…
Aug 22, 2012 at 6:49 pm rating: 22
This whole site is for sharing the joke.
The problem is, yours wasn’t funny.
Aug 22, 2012 at 7:59 pm rating: 14
I live within driving range of the golf course. Unfortunately for my greenhouse.
Aug 22, 2012 at 4:17 am rating: 25
If it’s only a 5-minute drive, why doesn’t she WALK and save a LOT of gas?!
Aug 22, 2012 at 5:05 am rating: 40
I used to have a 5 minute drive to work that would have been an incredibly unsafe walk. So that part doesn’t seem strange to me.
Aug 22, 2012 at 8:03 am rating: 20
I prefer knocking out my errands on my lunch break rather than after work. I’d drive 5 minutes to work just to make sure I had my car here for that reason.
Aug 22, 2012 at 9:19 am rating: 11
I have a 2-minute drive, but my shift ends at midnight. Walking’s not always the best idea.
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:32 pm rating: 12
A five minute drive at highway speed may well be more than five miles. I wouldn’t want to walk that distance every morning….I’d use my bicycle.
Aug 23, 2012 at 3:34 am rating: 3
That’s what I was thinking, DeniDee, but these responses make sense. At one point, I lived about a mile from my work. The days I worked second shift, I walked there and took the bus home b/c I wasn’t about to walk around that neighborhood (kind of a wild west atmosphere, only it was in Chicago) at 11pm.
Aug 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm rating: 0
My 8-minute commute is a little over 6 miles up the 4 lane highway, with no other direct routes. I don’t have a couple of hours to dodge cars every morning, thanks.
Aug 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm rating: 3
STFU, Parents guest-starring on Passive Aggressive Notes? It’s like a crossover episode!
Aug 22, 2012 at 7:58 am rating: 20
I was confused for a second waiting for B’s witty commentary…then I remembered on was on PA notes……not to say it’s not witty here as well;-)
Aug 22, 2012 at 8:13 am rating: 5
Facebook confrontation….sure that always motivates people to agree with you.
Aug 22, 2012 at 8:18 am rating: 9
Some of you really need to work on your reading comprehension.
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm rating: 2
I see zero examples of misreading, in the comments so far. But, please, do enlighten us with specifics. Vaguebooking is for Facebook.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:00 pm rating: 11
Several people are going on about “if it’s only a five minute drive….” but the woman only ever states that it’s a six MILE drive. also, when the commenter said, “why doesn’t *she* WALK and save a LOT of gas?!” when it was never an issue of HER saving gas or making the trip in the original post. it was her claiming that his method of saving gas was not to make the trip to visit his kids. the 6 mile trip, not five minutes, although one might reasonably assume the trip would take not much longer than 5 minutes. However, to make it a 5 minute trip, he would have to drive roughly 70mph the entire way without stops. Just sayin’.
Aug 22, 2012 at 1:48 pm rating: 3
Typos are for Trainees.
Aug 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm rating: 1
You seem to have fallen into the reading comprehension trap you are so adamantly talking about. The original poster very specifically says it is a 5 minute trip for her and does not denote miles. The 6 miles comes into play with the snappy comeback at the end, but that was not the issue being argued above, and is a totally separate trip from the original one.
To simplify since your reading comprehension is, indeed, being called out here:
Trip A: Victoria takes 5 minutes to get to work
Trip B: Colin would drive 6 miles to see his children
Two separate trips, two separate people, and the argument about walking above is only in reference to Trip A.
Edit: I will also specify that Victoria and Colin are only friends here. Shona is the Ex, pointing out Colin’s flaws at her first opportunity on a mutual friend’s status (hence the punchline of today’s post)
Aug 22, 2012 at 2:07 pm rating: 33
I may never stop laughing.
Aug 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm rating: 3
Am I the only one wondering what ‘gas’ is a ‘euphemism’ ‘for’?
Aug 22, 2012 at 12:58 pm rating: 19
My bet is that it’s part of the un-necessary quotation marks meme gone haywire.
Or perhaps Sean doesn’t have a car and is forced to take public transportation / taxi instead. Alternatively, maybe Sean has flatulence problems when he walks / drives.
Aug 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm rating: 9
Maybe she was trying to point out the fact that this ‘gas’ is actually a liquid and thus would better be called fuel or petrol or propellant. Just because you’re a bitter and crusty old woman doesn’t mean you can’t be a grammar nazi.
Aug 23, 2012 at 3:31 am rating: 2
H for Toy
Colin saves a lot of ‘money’ by not giving me as much child support as I think I ‘need’.
Aug 23, 2012 at 7:15 am rating: 2
Why don’t they just walk? Their work and kids are so close, they’re wasting nonrenewable resources using their cars instead of their feet. Think about the planet, guys!
Aug 23, 2012 at 10:16 am rating: 0
H for Toy
See the thread at 6 for plenty of reasons not to walk. Also, it’s possible that his kids aren’t old enough to walk the 6 miles back home with dad, and then back to mom’s again.
Aug 23, 2012 at 11:25 am rating: 1
Bah, in my day kids walked 12 miles easy, in 12 foot snow, uphill both ways!
Aug 23, 2012 at 3:04 pm rating: 11
So much for Victoria and Shona’s “friendship.”
Completely separate rant –
To all you nonspellers out there: Please don’t give your child a “cool” invented spelling as their name. Unless her name really is “Show-na.” Grr. (I started to say, “You know who you are,” but then I realized you almost certainly don’t.)
Aug 23, 2012 at 11:16 pm rating: 1
Maybe he doesn’t have time to see them because he’s too busy working overtime in order to pay child support. It’s certainly a possibility.
Aug 25, 2012 at 6:30 pm rating: 1
If your drive to work is only 5 minutes, it’s very likely that you could save even MORE gas… by WALKING.
Aug 27, 2012 at 11:29 am rating: 1
If driving to work is five minutes away, then how far does she have to go when she starts driving 5 minutes from now?
Sep 3, 2012 at 10:46 am rating: 1
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
2010: The Funniest Notes of the Year
2009: The Best Notes of the Year
2008: Your Favorite Notes of the Year
Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
most popular notes of 2010
most popular notes of 2011
most popular notes of 2012
now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
You call that punctuation?