Nice try, Mom.

#1 oaklandcat

+10 to the daughter for using “you’re” correctly.

Sep 5, 2012 at 12:42 am rating: 166 small thumbs up

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#1.1 Rolandito

-10 for omitting the necessary comma before “don’t.”

Sep 5, 2012 at 1:33 am rating: 34
#1.2 Aaron B from IL

I think it should be at most -5 for missing the comma. Messing up your/you’re is so much worse of a mistake I think.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:26 am rating: 83

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#2 Rob

+1 for the educational system wherever this kid is from in Missouri!

Sep 5, 2012 at 12:42 am rating: 20 small thumbs up

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#3 Zee

Enjoy your salmonella?

Sep 5, 2012 at 1:32 am rating: 8 small thumbs up

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#3.1 michelle

newp, that’s the stuff that’s pasteurized. totally safe to eat.

Sep 5, 2012 at 1:41 am rating: 19
#3.2 jadefirefly

And whoever came up with that idea needs to be sainted, in my opinion.

Sep 5, 2012 at 2:03 am rating: 38
#3.3 Dot

Despite the fact it says “Do not consume raw cookie dough” right below the note?

Sep 5, 2012 at 3:56 am rating: 35
#3.4 Sheila

Where does she say she’s going to eat it raw?

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:40 am rating: 5

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#4 Joanne M.

Doesn’t the child understand that her mother was trying to save her from the clogged arteries of trans fatty acid consumption?!?

Sep 5, 2012 at 2:48 am rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#5 LJ

Call me an ignorant Aussie, but am I to understand that in USA people eat cookie dough as dough? Or you bake it first and then eat it?

Sep 5, 2012 at 4:35 am rating: 20 small thumbs up

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#5.1 kermit

To be fair, store bought cookie dough is nothing like real cookie dough you make yourself.

Sep 5, 2012 at 4:49 am rating: 18
#5.2 L T

Correct

Sep 5, 2012 at 6:41 am rating: 2
#5.3 Kim

Wait – Australians bake their cookies? How odd. What a curious people you are.

Sep 5, 2012 at 7:46 am rating: 104
#5.4 Aaron B from IL

Pretty much every major brand of ice cream even has a “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough” flavor as well. I’ve never been too big on it though since it usually just not enough mixed into the boring vanilla base.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:28 am rating: 5
#5.5 Margee

I’m the author’s mom and in my opinion, cookie dough tastes SO much better than the baked kind.

Sep 5, 2012 at 9:12 am rating: 35
#5.6 Jami

Yes, yes we do. Even though they tell us we’ll get tape worms or various diseases, even the most health obsessed person will eat raw cookie dough.

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:17 am rating: 18
#5.7 kermit

Unless you leave it out in your dashboard in 100 degree weather, it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll get sick from eating store-bought raw cookie dough.

I don’t think any of the brands use real eggs any more, and that’s where the warning about salmonella and boogey bugs comes from. Even if you do eat a raw egg, the chances of you getting salmonella from it are quite small.

Sep 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm rating: 11
#5.8 Hmmm

And you actually eat raw egg in other thing, like mayonnaise, without getting sick.

Sep 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm rating: 12
#5.9 Rainne

HELLS YES. Chocolate chip cookie dough is DELICIOUS.

And whoever said the store bought stuff is different than that which you make yourself: this is true. the self-made type is infinitely better.

Sep 7, 2012 at 11:15 pm rating: 9

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#6 bitchy the dwarf

yup, we sometimes eat it straight out of the package

Sep 5, 2012 at 4:42 am rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#6.1 Swiftlytiltingplanet

Philistine. Out of the package has a weird chemically taste.

Real connoisseurs make their own, raw egg and all, and eat it out of the BOWL!

(I had to de-lurk for that. I am so anti-store bought cookie dough.)

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:55 pm rating: 27
#6.2 dizit

Right there with you, Swifty, homemade dough is the best! When my kids were young I’d have to make double batches because I’d lose so much dough before baking even got started!
Also, homemade cake batter tastes fabulous when licked from the bowl, as does homemade frosting.

Sep 6, 2012 at 1:47 am rating: 14

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#7 ANkh

Where do you think the term “As American as eating technically inedible raw cookie dough” came from?

Sep 5, 2012 at 4:48 am rating: 62 small thumbs up

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#8 spoko

I don’t understand people who think eating raw cookie dough is dangerous. EVERYONE does it, and I have yet to meet anyone who’s come down with salmonella from it. Sure, it’s possible, but I prefer to consider the actual odds. And the odds are heavily on the side of dough-eaters like myself.

That said, I would never buy cookie dough. Takes like 10 minutes to make a double batch, then just throw that in the fridge. But leave it out on the counter for a couple of hours, so it stays nice and soft while you have your first six or eight or twelve bites. Mmmmmm . . . cookie dough.

Sep 5, 2012 at 6:50 am rating: 48 small thumbs up

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#8.1 Kim

Agree. The salmonella scare-mongers really know how to suck the joy out of life.

Also agree on the store-bought stuff, it’s nasty. You can also freeze homemade dough in balls and bake up what you want when you want it. In the toaster oven .

Sep 5, 2012 at 7:48 am rating: 21
#8.2 Poltergeist

Well, they have to warn you about the risk. That way, if you do get sick, you can’t go and sue the company.

I’d like to know though – are people who eat raw cookie dough okay with eating other foods that have come into contact with raw egg?

Sep 5, 2012 at 7:58 am rating: 6
#8.3 lanx

Mayonnaise?

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:15 am rating: 11
#8.4 Synnove

I have been known to eat raw cookie dough, but I prefer to eat my raw egg in the form of homemade mayonnaise and meringue buttercream.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:23 am rating: 4
#8.5 Jess13

Well, maybe not salmonella, but close:

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/dec/09/news/la-heb-cookie-dough-e-coli-20111209

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:30 am rating: 1
#8.6 Wren

I used to be one of those people who would happily lick the beaters and scrape the bowl clean. Then I got salmonella and spent 3 days on the bathroom floor. I have since never used raw eggs in anything I bake and always use egg beaters or some other pasteurized egg product. Sure, I could just not eat the dough, but where’s the fun in that?

Sep 5, 2012 at 10:03 am rating: 12
#8.7 Jordie

Awesome stuff that contains raw eggs (certain/the best kinds of these):
Truffles
Frosting
Eggnog
Salad dressing
Mayonnaise
Hollandaise
Tiramisu
…and the list goes on and on. I’m a sushi fanatic, and there’s always that one friend I take to lunch who freaks out because sashimi is raw fish. Heck, I still enjoy clams and oysters, and I got the worst food sickness of my LIFE from those.

The bottom line is that avoiding everything life has to offer because it comes with an inherent risk is not living at all.

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:21 am rating: 38
#8.8 Mercy

Pisco Sours!! The raw beaten egg makes the foam at the top. Sprinkle some cinammon and enjoy life. Soooo delicious.

Sep 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm rating: 1
#8.9 ansco

I must be a rae minority, I don’t eat or like raw cookie dough. The thought of eating it makes me sick to my stomach.

Sep 5, 2012 at 7:44 pm rating: 10
#8.10 Swiftlytiltingplanet

I love you.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:56 pm rating: 0
#8.11 Kupo

@Mercy same with orange julius. I’m sure they use the pasteurized stuff, but that’s what makes it froth.

Sep 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm rating: 1
#8.12 Poltergeist

To each their own. But please, stop trying to convince others that eating mayonnaise with raw eggs rather than pasteurized eggs or eating raw cookie dough rather than baked cookies is somehow “living life to the fullest.” That’s just sad, and I am able to thoroughly enjoy my life without raw eggs…

Sep 6, 2012 at 9:03 am rating: 9

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#9 Tammy

Clever would have been surrounding the dough with romaine leaves…….don’t ask me how I know these tricks.

Sep 5, 2012 at 7:39 am rating: 65 small thumbs up

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#9.1 Margee

Tammy, you are a genius! I should have thought of that.

Sep 5, 2012 at 9:42 am rating: 10

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#10 Ely North

She really needs to hide raw cookie dough? It says right on the package not to eat it raw. Gross. Teach your kids to bake, lady! Maybe they’ll surprise you with some cookies and you won’t have to Bogart all the dough.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:45 am rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#10.1 Sheila

Maybe she’s tried and her daughter just isn’t interested in learning. Maybe her daughter is a student and is too busy with school and other activities. Maybe Margee is a single mom working two jobs to support her daughter and Bogarts the cookie dough because it’s her one indulgence.

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:47 am rating: 21
#10.2 Human Going

Maybe, no matter how many cookies her daughter bakes for her, she’d prefer just to eat the dough. Then her daughter has wasted a lot of perfectly delicious dough.

Sep 5, 2012 at 5:57 pm rating: 12
#10.3 Rainne

Hey, Ely, why don’t you try lightening up?

P.S. Raw chocolate chip cookie dough is delicious. Stop hating.

Sep 7, 2012 at 11:18 pm rating: 12
#10.4 The Elf

As long as you don’t have chronic health problems that would heighten your risk (like immune system problems), there’s nothing wrong with eating raw cookie dough. Sure you take a risk, but what in life isn’t risky? You take a bigger chance every time you get in a car.

So eat your raw cookie dough.
Or sushi.
Or dippy eggs.
Or very rare steak.
Or pork that’s still pink.
Or floppy bacon.
Or raw oysters and clams.
Or water from the tap.
Or unwashed fruits and veggies right from the garden.
Or raw milk and raw milk cheeses.

Some of the best foods are raw or undercooked, so live a little and indulge.

Sep 10, 2012 at 10:31 am rating: 8
#10.5 Clumber

oh NOOOO you don’t, Elf!
Am newly diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and you are NOT taking choc chip cookie dough away from me.

Cold, dead hands and all.

(Honest moment… I can’t even remember when i last ate cookie dough, though..5 years ago maybe? Clearly a stop at the groc is required on my way home….)

Sep 12, 2012 at 4:52 pm rating: 3

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#11 Sal

All you people saying you shouldn’t eat raw cookie dough can go suck an egg.

I suppose you’re that overly cautious in all aspects of your life?

Hell, when I was a lad I’d eat four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large.

Sep 5, 2012 at 9:41 am rating: 47 small thumbs up

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#11.1 Kim

And now that you’re grown you eat 5 dozen eggs so you’re roughly the size of a barge, right?

Sep 5, 2012 at 10:43 am rating: 45
#11.2 Margee

Kim…I got the reference to Beauty and the Beast. Good one.

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:15 am rating: 2
#11.3 Jessi

@Margee, to be fair, Sal started it.

Dang, now I have that song stuck in my head…

Sep 6, 2012 at 12:42 am rating: 4
#11.4 Margee

I realized that right after I posted, Jessi. Now I also have the song stuck in my head. One of my favorite Disney movies. The lead is actually intelligent and not just pretty!

Sep 6, 2012 at 7:23 am rating: 2
#11.5 Noelegy

Belle was a big deal to me, not only because she went around “with her nose stuck in a book,” as my mom always accused me of doing, but because she had brown hair! That’s a big deal to someone who’s brunette but was raised on blonde-haired, blue eyed dolls and Disney heroines.

Sep 6, 2012 at 10:23 am rating: 14

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#12 valleycat1

Another cookie-dough eater here. And cake batter bowl taster. And eater of runny soft-boiled eggs. Never made ill by any of this.

As long as the dough/batter/eggs haven’t been sitting out at room temp for a long time, there’s no bigger risk than, as mentioned above, using mayo on your sandwich or in your potato salad.

Sep 5, 2012 at 9:46 am rating: 15 small thumbs up

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#12.1 p

All of those things, but brownie batter is tops for me. I could just drink a mug of that.

Sep 6, 2012 at 9:08 am rating: 9
#12.2 Noelegy

My stepson who’s been to culinary school would agree with you.

Sep 6, 2012 at 10:24 am rating: 1
#12.3 L

Bread dough is the BEST. I eat like a full roll raw every time I make buns XD

Sep 15, 2012 at 10:02 am rating: 0

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#13 Karen

While I agree that homemade cookie dough is much better, store bought can do the trick if you’re having a craving and don’t have time to make it yourself. I applaude the daughter for sniffing it out. I’m so proud of her!

Sep 5, 2012 at 9:49 am rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#13.1 Swiftlytiltingplanet

Time? TIME? It takes 15 minutes to make homemade. Less time than it takes to go to the store for packaged.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:58 pm rating: 4
#13.2 Janie4

And if you don’t routinely have chocolate chips in the house, or white chocolate, or brown sugar or whatever the ingredient you need for your cookie, it’s the trip to the store plus 15 minutes.

Sep 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm rating: 9

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#14 shwo! bang

Dear daughter,

You think you’re so skinny don’t you?

Sep 5, 2012 at 9:58 am rating: 14 small thumbs up

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#15 AP

Remember the 2009 Nestle Toll House Raw Cookie Dough salmonella outbreak?
http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/food-poisoning/news/20111209/raw-cookie-dough-ready-to-bake-not-ready-to-eat

Just don’t eat it.

Sep 5, 2012 at 10:06 am rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#16 J

Why don’t people just skip putting raw eggs in the cookie dough they plan to eat raw? I think that will solve the problem. Of course, nobody ever “plans” to eat it raw

To LJ, Americans eat the dough in both forms — baked and raw. Both forms are delicious, but raw dough is in a class by itself. I’ve only tried raw chocolate chip cookie dough, but it is amazing…

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:25 am rating: 7 small thumbs up

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#17 KH

Hahaha! This made my morning.

Sep 5, 2012 at 2:50 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#18 deprogrammed

OK, young snark I can appreciate.

Sep 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#19 ansco

weird, just simply weird. I am willing to say that is part of why America has an obesity issue.

Sep 5, 2012 at 7:49 pm rating: 6 small thumbs up

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#19.1 Silence

Um, I’m going to go with the prevalence of overly large portions and fast food outlets, myself.

Sep 5, 2012 at 8:16 pm rating: 9
#19.2 mystic_eye_cda

Personally I’m going with “Minimum 50 hour work weeks, long commutes, and this belief that work is the only important thing in life”

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm rating: 23
#19.3 Jami

I’m going to go with people don’t understand the various causes of obesity and want to stereotype.

People are fat for a LOT more reasons than just eating too much and exercising too little.

There’s Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, medications, thyroid problems, emotional problems.

Did you know allergies cause obesity? They do. They lead to inflammation which slows down metabolism. So maybe that kid you’re picking on, causing them to eat more because they feel food is their only friend, was originally overweight because they have an allergy that their dumb doctor won’t pull their head out of their butt long enough to look into.

I have PCOS, severe anemia, lots of allergies, and emotional issues due to being bullied and sexually assaulted when I was younger. My weight is due to a combo of all those things. But people want to stereotype me as someone who eats loads of fast food – even though I haven’t eaten fast food in years and actually eat a lot of fresh, homemade food including loads of fruits and veggies. No one bothers to get to know me. They just sit there in judgement thinking they’re so superior.

Think about that the next time you want to blame it on eating raw cookie dough.

Sep 6, 2012 at 12:37 am rating: 32
#19.4 Hinderdingerborgen

How many calories do you intake per day versus the calories you expend?

Sep 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm rating: 6
#19.5 Bec

Although having cookie dough, instead of salad, in your salad spinner is certainly not going to help the problem, is it?

Sep 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm rating: 2
#19.6 Nocturnesthesia

Cut the fucking crap. I don’t give a shit if you’re fat, but don’t try and be all “durr hurr medical problems” using junk science to try and justify your habits. I have a whack of health problems, some of which are known to “cause” weight gain: PCOS, narcolepsy/cataplexy, pernicious anemia, impaired thyroid function, and at one point I was on prednisone and Zyprexa at the same time (pretty much the silver bullet of fatness). And yet with careful diet control and exercising as much as I can manage, I am far from obese.
So yeah, it really fucking burns my ass when people get all self-righteous and deny responsibility for their obesity. It’s not “luck” or “high metabolism” or “good genes” that allow me to keep a healthy weight, it is meticulously counting calories and finding ways to exercise when I’m not too sick to. Again, I don’t have anything against fat people, just against fat people who are loud and vocal about blaming “medical problems”.

Sep 11, 2012 at 6:22 pm rating: 9

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#20 juju_skittles

I love this kid! I can just see her sitting in the swivel chair, cat on her lap, stroking it, staring down her mother. “So, Mother. We meet again. Are you prepared to give up the hiding place of the other delicious snack treats?” The kid’s eyes narrow. “The dog is wired to explode. All I have to do is press this button…” Of course my imagination could be running away with me.

Sep 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm rating: 34 small thumbs up

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#21 Jodi Rives

All the words spelled correctly and correct usage of “you’re”? No young American person wrote this.

Sep 6, 2012 at 12:33 am rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#21.1 Jessi

Well that’s a depressing point of view.

Sep 6, 2012 at 12:47 am rating: 15
#21.2 Margee

Jodi, I’m taking your comment as a compliment to my family. My daughter who wrote this is 13 and currently in one of the best school districts in the St. Louis area. We have always made good grammar and spelling a priority at our house and are very proud of our children. Thank you.

Sep 6, 2012 at 7:06 am rating: 18
#21.3 Noelegy

My mother was an English teacher for 25 years in a small school system in rural Texas. She passed on to me a love of language and writing. I would put my grammar and spelling skills up against that of any professional proofreader or editor.

Sep 6, 2012 at 10:30 am rating: 6
#21.4 quat

People, irony. Jeez.

Sep 6, 2012 at 10:34 pm rating: 4

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#22 Delurks

My mom got salmonella from cookie dough once. Didn’t stop me.

Sep 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#23 K

Clue #1 is: why would anyone put a salad spinner in the fridge? It doesn’t do any good there.

Sep 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm rating: 7 small thumbs up

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#23.1 Trekkie Gal

I can’t believe I had to scroll all the way down the page before I found someone else who wondered this. No wonder the daughter found the dough – an “empty” salad spinner in the fridge is suspicious.

Sep 7, 2012 at 1:08 pm rating: 1
#23.2 Margee

Okay, to clarify the salad spinner issue. Sometimes after I spin the lettuce dry, I will put it in the frig until I make the salad. So…it is not all that unusual to see it in there. She told me that she was looking for lettuce.

Sep 9, 2012 at 9:14 pm rating: 5

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#24 goose

I was once told by a professional chef that sugar will sterilize an egg when added in sufficient amounts. That’s why Orange Julius hasn’t been sued to the moon yet. That not only made me eat it raw, but I even enjoyed it. It was only the chocolate allergy that made me stop attacking the brownie batter before it went into the oven. Carob has literally stopped me from committing felonious assaults more than once.
As for her grammar, it makes me a little weepy to see correct usage for a change. I’m a writing tutor, I’ve seen all ages and grades miff up the basics. A little of me dies sometimes.

Sep 7, 2012 at 8:20 am rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#24.1 Margee

Goose, I totally agree with your last statement about incorrect grammar. What makes me die inside even more, are all the ADULTS who cannot figure out your/you’re and there/their/they’re.

Sep 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm rating: 2

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#25 Jenny

Margee, your daughter is much smarter than we were! (And not just because of her excellent grammar.)

My parents told us last year (I’m 34!) that our ENTIRE CHILDHOOD they had kept chocolate, cookie dough, and mini Snickers (their own guilty pleasures) in the one of the vegetable drawers. There are four of us, and though when we were all teenagers we were constantly scrounging for snacks (and sugar wasn’t generally allowed in our house, so we were extra gung ho for it), not a single one of us ever discovered it.

Thanks for the laugh!

Sep 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm rating: 11 small thumbs up

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#25.1 Margee

Jenny–what a wonderful idea! I will start keeping the forbidden foods in the vegetable drawer. They’ll never think to look there!

Sep 9, 2012 at 9:07 pm rating: 4