Oh, for the Life of Brian

September 6th, 2012 · 41 comments

Writes Karin in Michigan: “I found this note taped on the window above the sink after I left a cup on the counter rather than putting it in the dishwasher. I guess my dad thought this approach would be easier than yelling.”

FYI The dishwasher IS the white thing with the buttons on your right. The dishwasher IS NOT the white balding middle aged man named Brian. Thank you.

related: The Wrath of the Ancients

extra credit: This is how my son does the dishes [youtube.com]

FILED UNDER: dishes · dishwasher · FYI · Michigan · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012


41 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Palomon

    He’s not the dishwasher, he’s a naughty, naughty boy!

    Sep 6, 2012 at 12:08 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   JK

    The dishwasher is able to use all caps for emphasis better than a white, balding, middle aged man named Brian. Pretty much any inanimate object would be.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 12:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   dizit

      It’s not ALL caps. Look closely and you’ll notice a mixture of caps and lowercase interspersed randomly.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 1:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   kermit

      I don’t think I will ever understand the random change from upper-case to lower-case. If you start with upper-case, why can’t you stick to it all the way to the end? You’re not doing it for emphasis; you’re doing it just to discombobulate and flummox the easily irritated.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 2:17 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   QoS

      Which for some, is a fun pursuit all by itself.

      At least in this instance the dishwasher wasn’t hungry…

      Sep 6, 2012 at 3:37 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Damaris

      Kinda unrelated, but I’ve noticed a lot of my parent’s generation and older write in all caps. My dad learned it at university; he and his professors claim it makes everything more legible, especially since he has poor (rather eccentric) handwriting. Has nothing to do with “yelling” or emphasis. It’s why you’ll see them using it online, too. They just don’t know it has another connotation, since computers are the new thing in the equation.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 5:25 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   spoko

      I love random drifts from caps to non-caps in handwritten notes. Not only because it discombobulates and flummoxes the easily discombobulated and flummoxed among us. But to be truthful, largely because of that. If you can’t see and value actual content through even the slightest haze of case, punctuation, word choice, spelling, etc., then you deserve to spend your life discombobulated and flummoxed.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 6:51 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   kermit

      Perhaps it’s just me, but I have yet to read anything important, worthwhile or interesting written in random capitalizations.

      For me, it distracts from the thought I’m trying to communicate if I have to randomly decide what letter I’m going to capitalize in the middle of a word for no reason whatsoever.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 6:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Jami

      @Kermit – I think it’s just a matter of how upset you are when you write the said note. I’ve been known to do it when really, seriously angry at whomever the note is directed at. You’re not thinking of neatness and logic. You’re think of “This better get through that buttmunch’s thick skull!”

      Sep 6, 2012 at 8:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Rob

      I use all-caps when I write, because my handwriting was completely illegible until I learned drafting in school – suddenly I found a good thing and I never gave it up.

      Brian doesn’t appear to have the same excuse, so I’m not cutting him any slack…

      Sep 6, 2012 at 10:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Fireseeker

      In engineering occupations, all caps is encouraged. Therefore, some engineers, when not writing for an audience of their peers, sometimes have difficulty making the transition to the standard form.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 10:24 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Mawwd

      My mother’s boss never learned how to use “print” as a kid (only cursive). When he did learn, he never learned properly, and mixed upper and lowercase letters as he saw fit. It just seems to be a thing of some older generations when they learn print after the fact.

      Even my brother does it this way, and I think he uses the “atrocious handwriting” excuse. He’s also an engineer so he probably just decided to stick to the one thing he writes for work.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 11:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   SeeYouInTea

      I’m young and I use some uppercase letters as lowercase (just smaller). For example my Ns, Ms, and R’s. It doesn’t make me crazy or unintelligent, I just like how it looks.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   kathlynn

      ‘nother younger person here. I also use a mix of caps and lower case letters when writing, It’s a space and habit thing. Not on purpose at all. in fact I didn’t even notice it in the note until I read the comments.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Jenna

      Ha, this looks exactly like my dad’s handwriting–he always writes in a mix of upper and lower case letters, tho mostly upper. I have no why, but it looks kinda neat. :)

      Sep 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   quat

      I do it. And I’m ancient as the hills, although that’s not the reason. I think I read somewhere that it’s a sign of mental illness… or just being slightly “off”. Who? Me? Must be Brian. I’m fine.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Sid

    My dad gets mad when we put things in the dishwasher because the dishes have to be put in a particular way, “His Way.” Haha, to each his own!

    He also writes mostly in caps, but that’s because he’s an architect and in his day all drawings were done by hand.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 5:41 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Leonna

      haha! I am the same way! My dad taught us that the dishwasher had to be loaded a certain way and he is OCD about it. Well, it spread to me. This past vacation, I was the designated dishwasher at our condo and every time someone tried to help me, I had to remove whatever they put in the dishwasher and put it in the “right way.” Thanks, Dad, for instilling an OCD behavior into your child! LOL

      Sep 6, 2012 at 9:30 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   ANkh

      IF you Just raM everythinG in There only hALF the dishEs get WaShed.

      I always feel like notes with uneven capitalisation read like ransom notes.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 9:49 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   bamBAM!!

    Next time she should put the dishes in the kiddie pool in the backyard and wait until Brian notices, like next April.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 8:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Dane Zeller

    I DON’T SEE THE PROBLEM.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 8:39 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Jacky

    You have a humorous and smart dad!

    Sep 6, 2012 at 8:53 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   bob loblaw

    Goddamn right Brian! I live with 3 messy kids who are likewise unable to find the DW. They are also concerned about the environment, but want me to drive them to school (5 blocks).

    Little fuckers!

    Sep 6, 2012 at 9:13 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   redheadwglasses

      And DO you drive them to school? : )

      Sep 7, 2012 at 11:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Nope

    Meh. I despise doing dishes. Such a huge pain in the ass. I think I’ll stick to paper plates and such. I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon than do dishes.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 9:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   ANkh

      How can you gouge your eyes out if you only have plastic spoons?

      Sep 6, 2012 at 9:50 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Fireseeker

      Sounds like you have an Oedipus complex :)

      Sep 6, 2012 at 10:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   kermit

      Nope, may I suggest getting married to a Greek person (or the same Greek person) every time you need new dishes? I assume they also hate doing dishes and that’s why the destroy them at weddings, yet also give them as wedding gifts.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 10:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   redheadwglasses

      Sporks are better than spoons when it comes to eye gouging.

      Sep 7, 2012 at 11:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Poltergeist

      I agree. The tines make it easier to sever the optic nerve, but the concave shape of the spoon catches and cradles the gouged eyeball so that it doesn’t fall on the floor and make a mess that you (or rather, your father) will have to clean up. Metal sporks are preferred.

      Sep 7, 2012 at 12:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Fireseeker

    Possibly, as is often the case in my house, Karin was saving her cup for later, not wanting to dirty another dish the next time she was thirsty.

    Seriously, cups crowd the dishwasher and my mom often gets upset when she sees that, in one day, four family members have used 20 cups.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 10:31 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   bob loblaw

      One should always keep one’s fluids up.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 2:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   SeeYouInTea

      My grandma hates random cups laying around the kitchen too. She washes dishes at least 4 times a day if the family is visiting (anywhere between 5-8 people). I don’t get it, but hey, she wants to, so why bother to tell her it’s annoying?

      Sep 6, 2012 at 5:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   notolaf

      Why would you get annoyed by somebody else washing dishes?

      Sep 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Ace of Space

    Well then who was the black balding middle aged man that mom was sleeping with last night? *HE* must be the dishwasher.

    Sep 6, 2012 at 10:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   notolaf

      Oh sure, make the BLACK man the dishwasher.

      Even if he doesn’t match the rest of the appliances.

      Sep 15, 2012 at 4:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Over the hill and in the valley

    I have two in their twentys that still beleive in the magic sink 1.put dirty dishes in Magic sink, 2. lightly sprinkle magic water 3. say magic words”Soakin”and next day the dishes are clean by magic

    Sep 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   kermit

      That’s your own fault for not having a magic sink. Or for teaching 20 year olds to clean up after themselves instead of leaving it to their significant others to do it.

      Sep 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   K

    Counter? He complains about the counter? Lucky bastard doesn’t know how good he has it! Round here the routine is to leave the damned cups UPSTAIRS. Every week or so suddenly there is a cache of moldy cups and bowls of God knows what in my dishwashing queue. Grr. I would KILL for cups on the counter!

    Sep 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Lisa S.

    I have three little kids, and a continual supply of sippy cups with water that develop that slime mold because they’ve been under the couch for a week. I will take the moldy science experiment that results when you accidentally leave coffee grounds in the coffee maker for a couple weeks (we don’t make pots of coffee often!) over the slime mold. Eww.

    Sep 7, 2012 at 11:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Vulpis

    I’m waiting for the followup note written with obviously female hand that reads, “He certainly isn’t–Brian’s been demoted to night-time couch cover.”

    Sep 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     

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