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Error: Command not found

September 17th, 2012 · 41 comments

This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)

IT IS BECOMING WORSE & WORSE SO PLEASE PLEASE KEEP THIS OFFICE TIDY! THANKS...SERIOUSLY? PLEASE READ THE SIGN! I WAS JUST HERE 2 MIN AGO TAKING ALL THE DIRTY DISHES LEFT HER (WHICH I SHOULDN'T BE DOING....) AND COME BACK TO FIND THIS. I MEAN, YOU SAW ME DO IT!! Your request has been placed in a priority queue. In the meantime we have submitted it to where you you will be able to monitor its progress.

related: An ABP on the V8

FILED UNDER: confusion??? · New Zealand · office · smartass

41 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Nami

    So, is this a threat?

    Sep 17, 2012 at 10:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #2   juju_skittles

    Don’t make me tap the sign…

    Sep 17, 2012 at 10:17 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #3   scott hall

    Team notewriter.
    Someone’s a fucking pig…

    Sep 17, 2012 at 10:43 pm   rating: 79  small thumbs up

  • #4   MattSNZ

    I’m fairly sure I used to live with note-writer A. The handwriting is eerily familiar.

    Sep 17, 2012 at 10:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #5   Frank

    “How to check voicemail from a different phone”, something about HTC, and some other junk on the second note. I guess since they’ve mastered their new cell phone, they can return to their position as Kitchen Nazi?

    Sep 17, 2012 at 10:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #6   Jami

    The dirty dishes don’t bother me as much as the wet, used coffee grounds to the left of the note. Something about them puts my teeth on edge.

    Sep 17, 2012 at 11:24 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #7   JollyWho

    Team Note Writer. The notes weren’t even *that* bad, and that mess speaks for itself. Clean up your own damn mess.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 12:21 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

  • #8   anon

    Assign one person in the office the duty of cleaning the kitchen. Problem solved.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 1:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Poltergeist

      Unless “cleaning up after the rest of your slob co-workers” was in the job description, I doubt that’ll go over well.

      Sep 18, 2012 at 1:45 am   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   NOOOO!!!

      That really is a good idea. If the co-workers act like irresponsible kids then give them each the duty of cleaning up for a whole day. When they have to clean it all for a day a week, or however soon based on the number of employees, then they will be less likely to be slovenly. If they are going to act like spoiled brats then treat them as such.

      Sep 18, 2012 at 8:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   redheadwglasses

      Assigning people won’t work. People either clean up after themselves, or they don’t.

      If my boss tried to give me this duty, I’d quit. I clean up after myself, I’m not going to clean up after others.

      Sep 18, 2012 at 8:50 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   feioo

      In my (non-office) workplace, cleaning the small kitchenette (including washing everyone’s dishes) is part of the closing staff duties – there are three different sets of tasks and the closing staff picks which one they want in order of whose shift is the longest. The set of tasks with the kitchen cleaning is often the favorite, and there are generally few complaints. It works for me.

      Sep 18, 2012 at 11:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   shepd

      Can those of us who don’t use the office kitchen at all opt out? We could use prox cards to badge in and out of the kitchen, and you could just not give me one.

      Sep 19, 2012 at 10:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #9   xyz

    Team Tidy. Writing a note about posting that note is pretty lame.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 3:50 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      To me, the meta-humor of writing a passive aggressive note about posting to passive aggressive was the best!

      Sep 19, 2012 at 10:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   meagain

      Nah, still lame.
      Notes from tidy person are lame as well.

      Sep 19, 2012 at 11:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #10   a-Arialist

    I suspect the anonymous submitter is the slob, thinking they’ll get agreement for their slobbiness (and is also perhaps ‘anon’ above, suggesting that some poor colleague gets assigned cleaning duty).

    Slob – clean up after yerself, yer lazy git.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 6:33 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

  • #11   Tesselara

    It’s kind of fantastic that even the note about cleaning the kitchen has become filthy.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 7:11 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #12   Dane Zeller

    It depends on what you mean by “dirty.”


    Bill Clinton

    Sep 18, 2012 at 8:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      How many times have I told you, Bill, the cigars belong in the box!

      Sep 19, 2012 at 10:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #13   Stacey

    We have the same problem in our office lunchroom. A co-worker started throwing all the dirty dishes in the garbadge and that solved the messyness for a while.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 8:59 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #14   M.

    The person who submitted this is a dick. They’re probably the one making the mess.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 9:02 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #15   Kimberly

    By the look of the tiny portion of kitchen a note is the least of what is needed.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 9:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #16   Rainne

    Team note-writer. That’s just disgusting. Slob submitter, you should be a) ashamed of yourself and b) cleaning up after yourself. That’s just gross.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 11:09 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Aside


      Sep 19, 2012 at 6:10 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #17   Daniel

    Team I’m-so-glad-I’m-not-either-of-these-people.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 11:54 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #18   Charlie

    As an office manager in a large company, I faced this problem in one of our four break rooms. My sign simply said, “Any dirty dishes left in the sink at the end of the day will be thrown in the trash as I leave for home.” It only took a couple of days following through with this before the problem ended.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 11:59 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   redheadwglasses

      Charlie, my mom did the same thing. Only it was, any dishes left on the counter/in the sink at 1 p.m. were tossed (the company owned no dishes, so everything tossed belonged to the employees). (The company had a lunch hour for everybody — noon to 1.) She had to do that ONCE. She said if she didn’t do it, she’d be stuck cleaning up the kitchen every day, and she had enough of that at home.

      Sep 18, 2012 at 12:05 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Charlie

      I gave them until the end of the day in case someone wanted to leave something to soak for a while before they washed it.

      Sep 19, 2012 at 12:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #19   Mama

    With unemployment at an all-time high, now is the time to HIRE SOMEONE TO CLEAN UP AT THE END OF THE DAY.


    Sep 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Meme

      If you are competent enough to get a job you should be capable of doing your dishes & wiping down a counter after yourself. Maybe if that’s above their ablities then perhaps they should be removed from their job & let someone else who is unemployed step up.
      Why should the company have the added expense of cleaning up after adults? In this economy it’s a good way to go belly up & then there would be more folks out of work.


      Sep 18, 2012 at 3:02 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Kristin

      Meme, I wish I could thumb that a whole bunch more times.

      Sep 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #20   Bluecanary

    Team note writer. Yes, notes are passive aggressive. However, in the time that you took to write a note about the note, take a picture, and submit everything to this site, you maybe could have cleaned up after yourself you filthy, filthy child.

    Seriously, having been the person who shares a kitchen with disgusting co-workers, who cleaned up the mess because I don’t enjoy roaches or stench, I sympathize. How hard is it for adults to clean up after themselves?

    Sep 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #21   Brian H

    If it was a real problem and I was boss I’d just shut it down. Turn the water off, get the fridge removed and turn it into office space or storage.

    A little messy at times isn’t terrible but if it was bad often, shut it down.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 6:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #22   Malski

    Yeah… Team Note-Writer. To me, it seems like the submitter is being a dick just to have something to submit to this site. Sad, really.

    Clean up after yourself. You are rude and gross.

    Sep 18, 2012 at 7:07 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #23   ano

    I, huh.
    Well what do you know.

    It’s awkward when you see something from your office that you neither wrote or submitted.

    I did think about submitting it.

    Sep 19, 2012 at 3:12 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Siobhan

      how has it been panning out in the office? Has it got any cleaner? Have you picked a side yet?

      Sep 19, 2012 at 4:06 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #24   Deb

    I’m wondering if the note writer followed directions and showed up here? If so, that’s gotta be pretty validating. Note writer, we’re on your side! Hang in there and hope everything gets better!

    Sep 19, 2012 at 11:13 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #25   Jessie

    Passive aggressive is indirectly dealing with a conflict. So in order to be passive aggressive, she would have to make the break room EVEN messier. Or you know, burn it or something. But she left a direct note to the unknown slob(s) letting them know they are one and to please clean up. That’s not passive aggressive. Soooo your snarky little meme: effectiveness -1. The rest of the entries are funny though! Keep tryin’.

    Sep 22, 2012 at 11:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Tegs

      Oh, you must be new here. Keep reading, you’ll get it eventually. :)

      Sep 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #26   Beans

    Team note-writer. When I leave a note, it’s because I don’t have the fucking time to stand around and lecture people. Writing “hey, don’t leave your shit in the sink” takes less time than standing around in the kitchen waiting for people to be pigs so I can admonish them personally.

    Sep 30, 2012 at 12:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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