This bullshit, from an office in Baltimore?
Or the unused-microwave-time version, from Claire’s office in Columbus, Ohio?
The Breakroom Nibbler
FILED UNDER: food · garbage · office fridge · pizza
They’re all really annoying because of the really trendy use of the really sarcastic “Really!”
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:26 am rating: 26
I know! Really!
Sep 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm rating: 8
Sep 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm rating: 6
O’Rly, the Irish food thief?
Sep 21, 2012 at 3:58 am rating: 13
What I’ve seen mostly is the last donut in the box in the lunchroom, which becomes a half, then a quarter, then an eighth, as no one can bear to actually eat the entire remaining donut portion and toss the box.
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:27 am rating: 39
That’s Zeno’s donut.
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:27 am rating: 54
In college, I lived in a house of 10 people and we commissioned someone to always eat the last of the communal things to avoid this awkwardness. She was happy to oblige.
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:54 am rating: 42
I’ve dubbed this ridiculousness “the politeness piece.” Because, of course, it’s more rude to eat the last piece than to get your grubby fingers all up in its business while peeling off crumbs.
Sep 20, 2012 at 7:58 pm rating: 7
Our prayer-group had to appoint someone as “the person who starts eating” (aka cake-bashi), as the food donations would be put out and then cleared away again untouched. Everyone was too polite to take the first morsel.
But then we are English.
Sep 21, 2012 at 4:03 am rating: 11
This isn’t just an English thing. It’s difficult to get someone to be the first to start a pot luck in my choral group. Everyone keeps hovering around, but no one wants to be the first.
Sep 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm rating: 4
I want to be the cake-bashi. Where do I sign up? I never have a problem starting to eat. Never.
Sep 22, 2012 at 2:27 pm rating: 15
That blueberry box is recyclable and the pizza box if not too greasy. Really! Maybe they are just waiting for recycling day?
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:34 am rating: 4
The pizza was someone else’s that someone stole. They left the box in there as a decoy.
Sep 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm rating: 2
Actually, any amount of grease on the box makes it not recyclable, the entire pulp batch has to be thrown out if grease is present. I like it when they put a piece of cardboard in that allows for the box to still be recyclable.
Sep 20, 2012 at 8:55 pm rating: 6
I really wish more people knew this about the grease. Maybe the pizza places could print it on the box or something. At church there’s a sign in the kitchen telling people to take their pizza boxes home to recycle (they are too big to fit in the recycle box and leave room for other things). I keep wanting to leave a NNPAN stating that greasy boxes should not be recycled.
Sep 21, 2012 at 6:11 am rating: 3
If it’s Baltimore, then the pizza is greasy. Used to get cheap pizza from a place called Vizzini’s – I could hold up a slice of pepperoni/cheese and watch the oil run off in a steady little stream.
The #1 reason why I learned how to make pizza at home was to avoid the Baltimore grease.
Sep 21, 2012 at 3:43 pm rating: 2
GooseDuckDuck, maybe I suggest you contact the recycling company and request they mail you a letter on their letterhead stating they do not want greasy/contaminated pizza boxes. I’m sure they’d oblige and include any number of other ways stuff shouldn’t be recycled.
Photocopy it and put it in the break room. It’s not passive aggressive then–it’s informative.
Of course, I’m not big on recycling myself, but that’s another story…
Sep 21, 2012 at 8:12 pm rating: 1
That blueberry carton is not recyclable where I live. It was, first it was certain numbered plastics only, then it was basically all plastic, but the lastest lists basically no plastic is recyclable.
Also if they want to stop having to throw out massive amounts of ruined recycling they’d find a better way to sort it, like you know paying someone to sort it. Or at least make the rules more noticeable, here the rules are mostly spread out throughout the calendar, like when the month doesn’t start on a Sunday the empty days get a hint… who reads a calendar start to finish when they get it?
Sep 22, 2012 at 10:24 pm rating: 1
Maybe the person left to get a pair of scissors to cut out the grease spot of the pizza box to recycle the non-greasy part…
Sep 25, 2012 at 2:20 pm rating: 1
The pizza box takes up more space AND the food had been stolen so I choose photo A. The pizza box is more annoying.
Sep 20, 2012 at 12:10 pm rating: 18
I had a roomie who use to leave maybe a half spoonful of ice cream in the tub. Apparently he felt it was rude to eat the last of the “shared” food when he didn’t buy it… xD
Sep 20, 2012 at 12:23 pm rating: 12
I also had a roommate like this, but thankfully we didn’t share ice cream tastes. I actually liked her “it’s a sin to eat the last one” philosophy – made for a mostly harmonious kitchen…. until we got into a PA cleaning war of epic proportions.
Sep 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm rating: 2
One of my brothers used to do this when mom made cookies. He’d eat all but one, especially the oatmeal raisin, so he could say that he didn’t eat them all.
What was annoying is I often got the blame. Even when it was oatmeal raisin, even though mom knew he loved ORCs and I absolutely abhor them with a fiery passion.
Sep 20, 2012 at 3:02 pm rating: 7
Jami, is this the same brother who eats your cheese pizza? I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s a cool guy, but he seriously has d-bag food tendancies.
Sep 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm rating: 10
I have a husband who will eat ALMOST all of a bag of chips–leaves a dozen broken pieces in the bottom of the bag. Then starts a new bag the next time, leaving the crumbs for me to throw out. because
A) he can say he didn’t eat a whole bag of chips, and
B) he doesn’t have to throw out the crumbs, because he’s sure someone (other than him) will want them.
Pisses me off to no end!
Sep 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm rating: 14
“until we got into a PA cleaning war of epic proportions.”
Have you ever read Dirk Gently?
Sep 21, 2012 at 4:04 am rating: 5
TRT: yes, I have read Dirk Gently, but it’s been probably 20 years and I only remember little bits. Now I’m going to have to re-read it to get the reference.
Sep 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm rating: 0
Sep 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm rating: 4
Ummmmmm, eerrrrrrrrrrr, that pizza and dem blue berries were fucking delicious ……..
Sep 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm rating: 5
I literally, really, redundantly despise the leavers of empty pizza,doughnut,cookie containers. Wait.. is that the right syntax? Really? I’m literally speechless. Really!
Sep 20, 2012 at 4:27 pm rating: 6
Really? Who stores a whole drawerful of sugar packets in the fridge?
Sep 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm rating: 13
People in my office will often times go ahead and throw away the pizza box — they actually just put it right over the trash can hole so you can’t throw anything out without moving it out of the way first..
Sep 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm rating: 1
Oh, I’ve got one for ya, regarding the 1/8 slices of mangled donuts. We had someone at the office who liked to sample lots of things so when someone ELSE brought in a dozen for the group, she’d immediately take it upon herself to cut them ALL into bits so “everyone can try them all.” She did this a few times before we appointed a donut monitor to tell her on behalf of the group, “the rest of us have been polled and we each want one, whole donut to ourselves please.” We let her know that if she provided the donuts she could cut them up as she pleased but funny enough, this never happened.
Sep 22, 2012 at 12:07 am rating: 16
Things like this make me really happy to have a full cafeteria at my work lol.
Sep 27, 2012 at 5:09 pm rating: 0
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