Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!
Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”
related: My Secretary, Sybil
37 responses so far ↓
#1
Lauren
I especially love the font.
Sep 26, 2012 at 6:26 pm rating: 48
#2
Limeliberator
Yes! I do too. The response is EXACTLY what I would have left…
Sep 26, 2012 at 6:29 pm rating: 19
#3
Poltergeist
The buttons on the copy machine aren’t the only ones being pushed!
Sep 26, 2012 at 6:55 pm rating: 60
#4
VenStar
How exactly does one operate a jam? Punctuation would be this lady’s friend.
Sep 26, 2012 at 7:02 pm rating: 7
#5
Elisha
Hey I’ll take her job. I’m available and will always be there to operate jams and push buttons!
Sep 26, 2012 at 7:19 pm rating: 9
#6
Ely North
You know she’s an expert at that machine because she got it to print out her note IN COLOR. That’s some high-tech fancy stuff. I’m impressed.
Sep 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm rating: 28
#7
Team Beasly
Oh God, secretaries and receptionists: finding any possible domain of control in order to become little Office Napoleons.
Sep 26, 2012 at 8:06 pm rating: 26
#8
Rattus
Isn’t there some unwritten rule against being a despot in absentia? If not, there should be.
Sep 27, 2012 at 7:54 am rating: 11
#9
Sadi
I can’t get past “in regard”.
Sep 27, 2012 at 8:38 am rating: 1
#10
Spooky
I love that the response looks like it got stuck in the machine, and that’s all they could tear out of its innards. Adds extra steam to Pol Pot’s fury.
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:29 pm rating: 31
#11
NL7
FYI to future stealth note-leavers: steganography is widely used in new-model printers and copiers, meaning every little bit of text you print is encoded with nearly invisible information on who, where and when the text was printed. So make sure to use somebody’s else computer or print code when you leave ‘anonymous’ notes. Or use a sharpie.
Sep 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm rating: 7
#12
flamingo-fizz
I tend to feel bad for admins…To do the job well actually requires a brain, BUT it’s a rather demeaning and unrewarding job for the intellectually blessed. So, often companies hire the less-clever, thinking they will be more ‘satisfied’ and stick around longer…and then the whole office is annoyed when they screw things up.
Sep 28, 2012 at 4:45 am rating: 23
#13
G. B. Miller
This reminds of a recent incident at work that I’ve blogged about.
We have one of those copiers in which that if you don’t align the drawers after loading it up with paper, it won’t copy.
So I loaded it with paper, ’cause you know, it ran out and no one else who used it extensively was active enough to load it. And then I tried a couple of time to properly align the drawers, but I had no luck.
So I went to the other copier to do my business and continued on my merry way.
About ten minutes later, a supervisor came by with my original print job that I forgot to cancel, and after giving it to me, proceeded to berate me in front of two other co-workers about the lousy job I did of loading the copier with paper.
She wound up her dissertation by saying that the next time I was faced with the option of loading paper into to the copier, I should instead ask for help.
Sep 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm rating: 2
#14
Vulpis
Honestly? Team Secretary on this one. If you don’t know what you’re doing with the equipment, don’t play with it, as you’ll likely just make the problem worse. That poor secretary has probably had one too many lectures from IT being called to fix things other people have broken. :-/
Sep 28, 2012 at 6:21 pm rating: 1
#15
redheadwglasses
This secretary is clueless. Because I happen to sit near the copier/printer, people assume that *I* am the expert and want me to fix their jams. My rule is, you were the one using it, you clear it. I can print to four different printers, so it won’t affect my work.
I’d be thrilled if more people were proactive about clearing machine jams. and jellies.
Oct 3, 2012 at 11:33 am rating: 3
#16
Squishi
I’m the AA on my floor, and for some reason everyone seems to think I’m psychic about when the colour copiers need fixing, especially the one on the other side of the building. The staff are also all disabled enough to not be able to change the toner, add paper or fix a jam. I realise I can’t educate the stupid so have given up trying. I use the b&w printer, because I can cope without colour.
Oct 9, 2012 at 6:57 am rating: 1
#17
Nellie
This AA sounds like Angela.
However … I’ve worked in so many offices where not ONE person had any idea on how to run, or fix, or load the copier … drove me nuts. My boss was notorious for loading copy paper the wrong direction in the wrong drawer — i mean he would literally change the paper tray’s guides, so then whenever I copied on it, the paper would come out the wrong direction. So I’d fix it. You could always tell when he reloaded paper, however, because it would be all screwed up again
Oct 9, 2012 at 11:14 am rating: 0
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